Hypothangry: Imagining a hypothetical confrontation, then playing out the fight you’d hypothetically have with that person inside your own brain. Fantasy fights are often conducted with loved ones or friends, but can occur with total strangers. (See: “hypothetically angry,” the cousin-once-removed of “rehearsing disaster.”) Today, licensed clinical psychologist and Whole30 Certified Coach Dr. Vickie Bhatia comes back to the podcast to unpack why we create hypothetical situations in our head and then get mad about them in real life. We’ll discuss how relationships, trauma, uncertainty, and judgment factor in; where anger really comes from and whether anger is helpful or harmful; the two most common triggers for hypothangry scenarios; and a plan for identifying, interrupting, and moving on gracefully from this behavior. Continue the conversation with me @melissau on Instagram. If you have a question for Dear Melissa or a topic idea for the show, leave me a voicemail at (321) 209-1480. Do the Thing is part of The Onward Project, a family of podcasts brought together by Gretchen Rubin—all about how to make your life better. Check out the other Onward Project podcasts—Happier with Gretchen Rubin, Side Hustle School, Happier in Hollywood, and Everything Happens with Kate Bowler . If you liked this episode, please subscribe, leave a 5-star review, and tell your friends to Do the Thing!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I got a concussion in December 2018. It took me 15 months to recover, and the symptoms still come up to this day when I’m stressed, flying, or in a hot tub. I knew nothing about concussions, and certainly didn’t expect depression, panic attacks, skittering vision, or debilitating exhaustion. By the time I was finally diagnosed, I was terrified, confused, and felt very alone. Some of my earliest reassurance was @mollyparkerpt’s Instagram page. It was a treasure trove of concussion information, and immediately made me realize this was serious, but it was also treatable. Today, Dr. Molly Parker is here to share her expertise on concussions—the symptoms you might expect (and those you might not), finding the practitioner that’s right for you, working your treatment plan and evaluating success, and what to do if you find, like me, that your symptoms aren’t resolving in a few weeks, as they usually do. Continue the conversation with me @melissau on Instagram. If you have a question for Dear Melissa or a topic idea for the show, leave me a voicemail at (321) 209-1480. Do the Thing is part of The Onward Project, a family of podcasts brought together by Gretchen Rubin—all about how to make your life better. Check out the other Onward Project podcasts—Happier with Gretchen Rubin, Side Hustle School, Happier in Hollywood, and Everything Happens with Kate Bowler . If you liked this episode, please subscribe, leave a 5-star review, and tell your friends to Do the Thing!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My morning routine is nothing short of sacred, gifting me calm, grounded energy, a happier mood, and improved stress resilience as I move throughout my day. In this episode, I’ll share the history of my mornings, starting twenty years ago fresh out of rehab right up through today, working around parenting and COVID. I’ll detail what, how, and why I do what I do each morning, how to identify pain points in your own mornings, and share a dozen practical tips for crafting your own morning routine, even if you’ve never had one before. (Hint: You DO have one, but it might be running you, instead of you running the routine. Let’s change that.) Continue the conversation with me @melissau on Instagram. If you have a question for Dear Melissa or a topic idea for the show, leave me a voicemail at (321) 209-1480. Do the Thing is part of The Onward Project, a family of podcasts brought together by Gretchen Rubin—all about how to make your life better. Check out the other Onward Project podcasts—Happier with Gretchen Rubin, Side Hustle School, Happier in Hollywood, and Everything Happens with Kate Bowler . If you liked this episode, please subscribe, leave a 5-star review, and tell your friends to Do the Thing!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Holley M. Kholi-Murchison (she/her) is an entrepreneur committed to shaping the future of work and learning for evolving professionals. She teaches and coaches through her communication studio Oratory Glory, and is a founding partner at HOLI. Brands, a think tank that prepares people from historically-marginalized communities to self-actualize. In this episode, we’ll discuss Holley’s book, Tell Me About Yourself, and why most of us suck at creating accurate and artful responses to this common query. Holley explains the purpose of networking (hint: it’s not transactional), how working through her self-actualization process can pave the way for professional success and more meaningful connections, and how to overcome common stumbling blocks in arriving at your own “what do you do?” response. I’ll also share my own experience of working through the TMAY workbook, and some real-time realizations about the true power of Holley’s method.  Continue the conversation with me @melissau on Instagram. If you have a question for Dear Melissa or a topic idea for the show, leave me a voicemail at (321) 209-1480. Do the Thing is part of The Onward Project, a family of podcasts brought together by Gretchen Rubin—all about how to make your life better. Check out the other Onward Project podcasts—Happier with Gretchen Rubin, Side Hustle School, Happier in Hollywood, and Everything Happens. If you liked this episode, please subscribe, leave a 5-star review, and tell your friends to Do the Thing!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Scott Carney (he/him) is an investigative journalist, anthropologist, and the author of my cold shower bible, What Doesn’t Kill Us, and his new book, The Wedge. In this episode, Scott explains that, thanks in large part to technology, we’re all a little TOO comfortable, and it’s making us sick, weak, and fragile. By adding sensation variability to his own life (in the form of ice baths and Wim Hof breathing techniques), Scott developed superhuman levels of endurance and quieted a persistent autoimmune illness. Today, he shares how making yourself just the right amount of uncomfortable can reveal how powerful you really are, and delivers big benefits to your self-confidence, strength, health, and stress-resilience.  Continue the conversation with me @melissau on Instagram. If you have a question for Dear Melissa or a topic idea for the show, leave me a voicemail at (321) 209-1480. Do the Thing is part of The Onward Project, a family of podcasts brought together by Gretchen Rubin—all about how to make your life better. Check out the other Onward Project podcasts—Happier with Gretchen Rubin, Side Hustle School, Happier in Hollywood, and Everything Happens. If you liked this episode, please subscribe, leave a 5-star review, and tell your friends to Do the Thing!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

If you follow me on Instagram, you’ll know I am a voracious hiker. I love inspiring you to get out on your local trails, but I often hear the idea of hiking is intimidating, and you’re not sure where to start. In this episode, my friend and outdoor adventurist Kristen Bor of Bearfoot Theory will walk you through your next hike start to finish, based on the way I plan and prepare for a day on the trail. We’ll cover finding the right trail for your hiking goals, how to dress, how to pack, what to eat, basic safety and trail etiquette, how to handle animals on the trail, and tips for hiking alone. She also shares the basics behind the “leave no trace” principles, to ensure we are all good stewards of the land. Visit whole30.com/podcast for show notes and a full transcript of every episode. You can continue the conversation with me @melissau on Instagram, or by leaving me a voicemail at (321) 209-1480. Do the Thing is part of The Onward Project, a family of podcasts brought together by Gretchen Rubin—all about how to make your life better. Check out the other Onward Project podcasts—Happier with Gretchen Rubin, Side Hustle School, Happier in Hollywood, and Everything Happens. If you liked this episode, please subscribe, leave a 5-star review, and tell your friends to Do the Thing!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this Just Melissa episode, I share all the details of yet another self-experiment with life-changing results—cold showers. When I vowed to take a freezing cold shower every day for 30 days in February 2020, I hoped they would be the missing factor in finally overcoming my health challenges. What I never expected is how much I’d grow to love them, and how much they'd play a major role in my self-care during the pandemic. Today, I’ll dive into the research that led me down this path, what that very first shower looked like, how my cold showers have evolved since then, and the shockingly real benefits I’ve seen. And at the end, I’ll tell you exactly how to structure your own cold shower experiment. Note: Ed Sheeran songs not required... but they help. All sponsorship income from the remainder of Season 2 of Do the Thing will be extended to the Movement for Black Lives. Learn more at m4bl.org.Continue the conversation with me @melissau on Instagram. If you have a question for Dear Melissa or a topic idea for the show, leave me a voicemail at (321) 209-1480. Do the Thing is part of The Onward Project, a family of podcasts brought together by Gretchen Rubin—all about how to make your life better. Check out the other Onward Project podcasts—Happier with Gretchen Rubin, Side Hustle School, Happier in Hollywood, and Everything Happens. If you liked this episode, please subscribe, leave a 5-star review, and tell your friends to Do the Thing!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I’ve been on hiatus for several months now, and I’m not exactly tiptoeing back in, #blacklivesmatter. I’m also going to say the word “racist” a lot. If that makes you uncomfortable, this episode is definitely for you. Today, I’m talking to my white listeners about my own anti-racism work, through the lens of the Four Question framework of Byron Katie. The Four Questions have been helping me identify stressful thoughts and move past them into growth and action for more than five years. In this episode, I’ll be applying the Four Questions to my own stories around what it means to be racist. Was it fun? Not exactly. Did it move me past my own shame, guilt, and defensiveness so I can be a better ally out in the world? One hundred percent. Follow along if you are also invested in or just beginning to do your own anti-racism work. All sponsorship income from the remainder of Season 2 of Do the Thing will be extended to the Movement for Black Lives. Learn more at m4bl.org. Continue the conversation with me @melissau on Instagram. If you have a question for Dear Melissa or a topic idea for the show, leave me a voicemail at (321) 209-1480. Do the Thing is part of The Onward Project, a family of podcasts brought together by Gretchen Rubin—all about how to make your life better. Check out the other Onward Project podcasts—Happier with Gretchen Rubin, Side Hustle School, Happier in Hollywood, and Everything Happens. If you liked this episode, please subscribe, leave a 5-star review, and tell your friends to Do the Thing.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Dr. Nicole LePera (she/her), also known as The Holistic Psychologist, is the founder of the Mindful Healing Center in Philadelphia, and trained in clinical psychology at Cornell University and the New School.  In this episode, Dr. LePera breaks down the various forms of trauma therapy for the body and mind, sharing the practices that have proven the most effective. She’ll cover what trauma is (hint: it’s far more extensive than just the “Big-T” experiences like assault or abuse), how trauma affects our mind/body connection, and the bodywork and therapeutic practices that can best restore that connection. She’ll explain the various forms of trauma therapy and which are most effective, shares some in-the-moment strategies we can all do to calm an over-active nervous system, and leaves us with specific terms to search for when seeking out a trauma therapist. Continue the conversation with me @melissau on Instagram. If you have a question for Dear Melissa or a topic idea for the show, leave me a voicemail at (321) 209-1480. Do the Thing is part of ‘The Onward Project,’ a family of podcasts brought together by Gretchen Rubin—all about how to make your life better. Check out the other Onward Project podcasts—Happier with Gretchen Rubin, Side Hustle School, and Happier in Hollywood. If you liked this episode, please subscribe, leave a 5-star review, and tell your friends to Do the Thing!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this Just Melissa episode, I’m helping you navigate the questions, peer pressure, and social challenges that may arise when you commit to a sober lifestyle, do a Whole30, or take on an “I’m not drinking right now” experiment. I’ll share how to say no gracefully when offered a drink; how to handle questions like “why aren’t you drinking” or statements like “you’re no fun;” and how to respond to peer pressure in a firm but polite way. I also cover how to adjust your social circle, plan events that aren’t centered around alcohol, and navigate dating while sober—and at the end, I’ll provide the ONE mindset shift you’ll need to effectively hold this self-care boundary.   Continue the conversation with me @melissau on Instagram. If you have a question for Dear Melissa or a topic idea for the show, leave me a voicemail at (321) 209-1480. Do the Thing is part of ‘The Onward Project,’ a family of podcasts brought together by Gretchen Rubin—all about how to make your life better. Check out the other Onward Project podcasts—Happier with Gretchen Rubin, Side Hustle School, and Happier in Hollywood. If you liked this episode, please subscribe, leave a 5-star review, and tell your friends to Do the Thing!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices