Guess who's back, back again? Todd is back! Tell your friends! Elizabeth is in turmoil at the news, though not as much as poor Jeffrey (two words we say a LOT in this episode), who rightly figures his days are numbered as soon as Whizzer Wilkins returns to town. Meanwhile rich bitch Courtney Kane sets her sight on Todd, who is now living in a mansion that's almost as fancy as Fowler Crest. Courtney sneers at Lila so you know we hate her. As for Jessica, she's planning to trap a rich boy of her own... 

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First of all, don't worry - this book isn't as dodgy as we feared it would be. Yes, Olivia Davidson, who seems to have had a personality transplant, is madly in love with hunky art teacher Stuart Bachman, but Stuart has no interest in her. Olivia, however, convinces herself that he does - after all, who could resist her funky new giant earrings? This is a scenario that could actually do with Elizabeth meddling with other people's personal lives but for once she decides to stay out of it. Meanwhile Jessica is determined to use her extremely poorly organised electronics class to humiliate Lila, Mr Collins gets the warm welcome he deserves and we end up with a genuinely exciting cliffhanger. No wonder this episode is ridiculously long! 

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When the SVH gang set off on a science field trip to a remote island, Lila sneers at the non-luxurious boat taking them there - and our flat-faced queen's jibes are justified, because it doesn't take more than a few big waves on the way home before the boat starts sinking! When Jessica and Winston's lifeboat capsizes, they vanish in the foggy sea and the denizens of Sweet Valley fear the worst. Have we finally got rid of Jessica Wakefield forever? Don't get your hopes up, listeners - Jessica and Winston wash up on a tropical island where Jessica indulges in some of her usual deluded fantasising, Winston shows surprisingly impressive survival skills and Jessica even gets a bit OTG (though that may be wishful thinking from Anna).

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We had low hopes for this one given that it's another sports story but we were very pleasantly surprised! 

We meet basketball star Shelley Novak and her friend Cathy, the coolest person in SVH (give Cathy her own book, you cowards!). Will self-conscious Shelley, who actually acts and thinks like a real teenager, find love with photographer Jim Roberts, yet another SVH boy who won't take no for an answer (when it comes to taking photos of Shelley, anyway)? Luckily Mr Collins is there to provide wise counsel. Meanwhile, in an extremely entertaining sublot,. Amy and Jess become obsessed with a hunky ballroom dancing teacher and, after the recent Sweet Valley fashion drought, there are some truly outstanding outfits.

 Hurrah! 

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Oh no, A.J. is leaving town for four whole days! Of course Jessica can't be expected to keep it in her pants for that long, so she picks up a random bloke on the beach and embarks on a weekend of romance. But when she tells hunky Christopher her boyfriend is coming home, he starts bombarding her with phone calls and threatening to reveal all. If AJ finds out about her betrayal, Jess will be denied the chance to be queen of yet another dance!

Yes, after a string of dull books about characters no one cares about, we're back in classic Sweet Valley territory. Hurrah! Meanwhile Liz takes her doormat ways to dangerous new levels, everyone's favourite flat-faced bitch is on top form, and we reveal the Sweet Valley equivalent of big d**k energy.

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It's been a long time since we last discussed the strange and terrifying world of SVH, but we're BACK! With an extra kidney, a special post-lockdown theme tune and a book all about....Kristin Thompson? Yes, it's the ultimate anticlimax as we return to Sweet Valley with a book about a randomer who is so obsessed with tennis she's never even heard of 1BRUCE1. Will joining Elizabeth and Enid's Big Sisters problem help her to live a normal life? Meh, who cares. Meanwhile there's so little of the Wakefields in this book we almost (but not quite) find ourselves wishing for more, and a much-missed character makes an all-too-brief return. 

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It's Christmas, and you know what that means - it's time to go back in time to meet the ancestors of everyone's favourite douchebag, 1BRUCE1 himself! And it turns out that some of his relatives are more interesting than anyone at Sweet Valley High. We've got runaway aristocrats (of course)! We've got actresses! We've got...underground railroad heroes?! Believe it or not, they don't handle that too badly. And forget about OTG, this Christmas it's all about the RTC - rootin' tootin' cowboys! Also, Anna gets very, very angry about the lack of cans - or rather, the lack of the Patman canning factory. Merry Christmas, everyone!

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Roll up, roll up, it's our very first live show - and we're joined by a very special guest for the first time! Bestselling author Louise O'Neill is here to discuss a book in which Liz finally reaches the limit of her natural doormattery and Jess behaves particularly selfishly in the run up to Sweet Valley's annual (apparently) Winter Carnival. Don't get too excited about the carnival, by the way, because it only takes up like, ten pages of the whole book. On the plus side, a familiar face returns - Mr Collins is back! Oh yeah, and so is Todd, whose visit causes tension. Load up with a bag of cans - as we and our audience did - and enjoy! You can follow us on Twitter at @svhpodcast and follow the Headstuff Podcast Network on @HSPodnetwork and @ThisHeadstuff 

Forget gambling and Liz's boarding school dreams - THIS has to be the most boring book in Sweet Valley history. And not just because it's all about John Pfeiffer (boo!). He's in love with Jennifer Mitchell, but she's in love with Rick Andover, who is a would-be rock star all of  a sudden. We don't care about either of them, but Liz does, because as usual she just can't help sticking her nose into other people's business. Meanwhile Jessica is back to her old manipulative ways - get out while you can, A.J.! You can follow us on Twitter at @svhpodcast and follow the Headstuff Podcast Network on @HSPodnetwork and @ThisHeadstuff

Anna has previously claimed that this, along with the Liz in Switzerland book, is the most boring Sweet Valley title of all time, but we were pleasantly surprised when we got into the infamous story of Ronnie Edwards becoming a gambler. And that has a lot to do with the book's villains, a bookie named Big Al (!) and his team of car-pooling goons! Get ready for a lot of OTG talk as Liz gets bitchy, Jeffrey finds himself torn between his love of football and his reluctance to let Ronnie get beaten to death, Jess has dreams of fashion stardom and we discover just how little the ghostwriter knows about soccer. You can follow us on Twitter at @svhpodcast and follow the Headstuff Podcast Network on @HSPodnetwork and @ThisHeadstuff