We put laptops and tablets into classrooms with a promise that technology would improve education. Nearly two decades later, parents and teachers are asking a confronting question: Did we get it wrong?

Justin speaks with Danny Alachi, founder of the Heads Up Alliance, and Victorian high school teacher Steph Challis about the push to reduce screen use in Australian schools. They unpack classroom distraction, declining literacy, the value of handwriting and physical books, and why teaching digital skills doesn’t require kids to spend every lesson behind a screen.

They also explain a new national petition calling for no one-to-one devices in primary schools, books and paper to become the default in high school, a pause on generative AI in classrooms, safer evidence-based educational apps, and a renewed focus on reading and handwriting.

KEY POINTS

• Why one-to-one devices may be doing more harm than good in primary classrooms
• The distraction problem teachers are seeing when laptops are open
• Why books, handwriting and paper still matter for learning
• The difference between teaching digital literacy and teaching through a screen
• Why technology should have to prove it improves learning before schools adopt it
• The five changes the Heads Up Alliance wants Australian schools to make

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“Schools need to remember what they're for. They're there to teach children how to learn.”

Steph Challis

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• Heads Up Alliance
• Sign the petition

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

• Look at how devices are being used in your child’s classroom, not simply whether they are being used.
• Ask your school when screens genuinely improve learning and when books, paper and handwriting could work better.
• Read the petition and sign it if you support the proposed changes.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What if trying to create the perfect family moment is the very thing getting in the way?

After a week away with three of their daughters, Kylie realised she’d arrived with a clear picture of how their time together should look. The reality was completely different. And it turned out to be better. Justin and Kylie unpack the pressure parents put on themselves to get the “recipe” right, why our kids need room to make their own choices, and how letting go of control can create more connection.

Justin also shares what happened when Kylie left him juggling work and parenting, including one spectacular diary fail, and why simple, low-pressure time together can be some of the best parenting we do.

KEY POINTS

• Why parenting doesn’t come with a guaranteed recipe for happy, successful kids
• How expectations can turn good family experiences into disappointments
• Why giving kids space can lead to more openness and connection
• The power of simple, unstructured time with your child
• Why presence, patience and understanding often matter more than elaborate plans - Justin’s lesson in juggling work and parenting when Kylie went away

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“It’s the simple stuff that makes our families work the best.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED

What Your Child Needs From You by Justin Coulson

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

• Notice where you’ve created a “recipe” for how family life should look.
• Leave room for your child to choose how they experience a moment.
• Swap one carefully planned activity for simple time together.
• Focus less on monitoring and more on creating a relationship where your child wants to talk to you.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

One in three babies is using a phone or tablet by six months old. By age two, almost one in ten is averaging around four hours of screen time a day.

New research into screen use during the first years of life has landed with a confronting warning for parents. Justin and Kylie unpack what researchers call “digital soothing”, why screens can crowd out the interactions babies need for healthy development, and what parents can do when zero screen time feels almost impossible.

KEY POINTS

• 16% of Australian three and four year olds had recently used TikTok, YouTube or Instagram.
• More than half of children are using phones or tablets by their first birthday.
• Why researchers are concerned about using screens to soothe, comfort and entertain babies.
• How screens can replace the face-to-face “serve and return” interactions that build language and thinking skills.
• Higher screen exposure in the early years is linked with poorer sleep, delayed language and cognitive development, weaker social skills and poorer later school performance.
• Why watching together is different from leaving a young child alone with a device.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“The first thousand days build the brain. Work hard to get that right.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• eSafety Commissioner’s Growing Up Online report
• Jonathan Haidt’s After Babel Substack
• New systematic review of global research into screen use during the first 1,001 days of life

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

• Aim for as close to zero screen time as possible during the first two years.
• Don’t rely on a device as your child’s regular comforter or distraction.
• Prioritise talking, playing, moving and face-to-face interaction.
• When screen time does happen, watch and engage together rather than handing over the device.
• Look at what screen time is replacing, not only what your child is watching.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Pornography isn’t just a boys’ issue. Girls are seeing it too, often before their parents realise they need to talk about it.

Kristen Jenson, founder of Defend Young Minds and author of Good Pictures, Bad Pictures Guide for Girls, joins Justin to explain why girls need to be part of this conversation. They unpack accidental exposure, curiosity, body image, objectification and the shame that can stop girls from asking for help.

Most importantly, Kristen gives parents a simple way to prepare kids before pornography finds them: give them a definition, a warning and a plan.

KEY POINTS

• Why treating pornography as a boys-only problem leaves girls vulnerable
• How shame around girls’ curiosity can make the problem harder to talk about
• Why accidental exposure can happen before kids actively seek explicit content
• The impact pornography can have on girls’ body image and self-worth
• Why parental controls and filters can’t replace conversations
• Kristen’s simple three-part approach: a definition, a warning and a plan
• Why your reaction matters if your child tells you they’ve seen pornography
• How to start the conversation even if your child is already a teenager

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“It’s never too late to give your kids a defense.”
Kristen Jenson

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• Good Pictures, Bad Pictures Guide for Girls by Kristen Jenson
• Defend Young Minds
• Brain Defense Digital Safety Curriculum
• Common Sense Media’s Teens and Pornography report

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

• Have the conversation before your child gets their own internet-connected device.
• Give your child an age-appropriate definition of pornography so they can recognise it.
• Explain why pornography can be harmful without using fear or shame.
• Give them a clear plan for what to do if explicit content appears.
• Make sure they know they can tell you without automatically losing their device or getting into trouble.
• If your older child has already seen pornography, listen first. Make it a conversation, not a lecture.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Your five-year-old tells a whopping great lie at Show and Tell. Do you correct them, call them out, or let it go?

Lying can push every parental button, but for young kids, stretching the truth can be a surprisingly normal sign of cognitive development. Justin and Kylie explain why kids lie, what their tall tales might be trying to tell us, and why cracking down can make children better at hiding the truth.

The goal isn't to catch your child out. It's to understand what they need and make honesty safe.

KEY POINTS

• By age four, around 80% of children will lie in experimental settings.
• Convincing lies require "theory of mind", the ability to understand what another person thinks or believes.
• Sometimes exaggeration is less about dishonesty and more about wanting connection, belonging, competence, or status.
• Punitive responses can encourage children to become better at lying rather than more honest.
• Avoid fact-checking or embarrassing your child in the moment.
• Give kids an "off-ramp" from a lie by asking curious questions instead of accusing them.
• Build the skills and relationships underneath the story so your child doesn't need to exaggerate to feel valued.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

"Kids tell the truth when it's safe to tell the truth."

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• Theory of mind and children's cognitive development
• Research on lying and child development
• Happy Families resources on helping kids build friendships

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

1. Stay calm. A young child's lie isn't automatically a red flag.
2. Look underneath it. Ask whether your child is seeking connection, competence, attention, or belonging.
3. Don't shame or ridicule them. Especially in front of other people.
4. Give them an off-ramp. Try, "Which parts did you do?" rather than catching them out.
5. Make honesty safe. Harsh punishment can make telling the truth feel too costly.
6. Build real competence. Help them practise the skill so next time they can proudly say, "I did it myself."

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Everyone wants the shortcut. Better results, less effort, faster success. But what happens when the shortcut fails?

The Enhanced Games promised superhuman athletic performances through performance-enhancing drugs. Instead, the results offered a surprising lesson for parents and kids. Justin and Kylie unpack our obsession with hacks, optimisation and instant success, and explain why real achievement is usually built through something far less exciting: repetition, mistakes, patience and showing up again.

KEY POINTS

• Why the Enhanced Games became a lesson in the limits of shortcuts
• The growing culture of hacks, optimisation and instant results
• What elite athletes understand about boredom, repetition and mastery
• Why failure is part of becoming genuinely good at something
• How online influencers sell boys shortcuts to looks, wealth and status
• Why doing the work matters as much as reaching the goal
• What parents can teach kids about consistency when progress feels slow

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“It’s not actually about getting there, it’s about who you become while you’re getting there.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• Atomic Habits by James Clear
• How to Live by Derek Sivers
• The Enhanced Games
• Michael Jordan’s reflections on failure and success

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

• Praise practice, persistence and improvement rather than quick wins.
• Let your child struggle with something long enough to learn from their mistakes.
• Talk about the shortcuts and “hacks” they see online and what those promises leave out.
• Help kids see repetition as part of mastery, not proof that they lack talent.
• When they make a mistake, ask what they know now that they didn’t know before.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

One in three Australian kids is struggling to read at the expected level. In a classroom of 30, that’s 10 children falling behind.

Justin speaks with Rachel Amorosakra from Reading Out of Poverty about what poor literacy looks like for kids, why access to books in the first five years matters so much, and the confronting reality for children in remote communities who may not own a single book.

With Book Week approaching, they look at a practical way families can help put culturally appropriate books into the hands of children in East Arnhem Land.

KEY POINTS

• One in three Australian children is not meeting grade-level expectations in reading.
• Struggling to read affects far more than English. It can make maths, science and other subjects harder too.
• Falling behind can leave children embarrassed, disengaged and believing they simply aren't smart.
• The first five years are critical for building vocabulary, imagination and early literacy skills.
• Books create connection between children and caregivers, not just reading skills.
• Many children in remote East Arnhem Land communities have little access to books.
• Reading Out of Poverty is providing culturally appropriate literacy packs to children this Book Week.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“Books aren't just about the reading itself. It's about building connection with parents and caregivers.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• Reading Out of Poverty
• Book Week
• Reading Out of Poverty literacy packs for children in East Arnhem Land
• Each $25 donation funds one literacy pack containing five age-appropriate books and educational resources.

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

• Read with your child regularly, especially during the early years.
• Make books easy to reach and part of everyday family life.
• Let young children choose books they want to hear again and again.
• Use stories as time to connect, talk and explore ideas together.
• This Book Week, consider donating a literacy pack to help a child in East Arnhem Land access books of their own.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Firstborns tend to earn more, study longer and experience better mental health than their younger siblings. For decades, researchers have struggled to explain why.

A huge study following 1.2 million Danish children has uncovered a surprising piece of the puzzle. It may have less to do with personality or favouritism and more to do with germs, early illness and the extra time firstborns get with their parents.

In this episode, Justin and Kylie unpack what birth order research actually tells us, why the first six months matter so much, and the simple things parents can do to help level the playing field.

KEY POINTS

• Firstborns show small but consistent advantages in earnings, education and mental health across large population studies.
• Younger siblings are more likely to be exposed to respiratory illnesses during their first year, often brought home by older siblings.
• Early illness may explain a significant portion of the birth order gap.
• Firstborns can receive thousands more hours of reading, talking and playing with parents by age 13.
• Birth order is not destiny. These findings describe population averages, not what will happen to an individual child.
• Parents can reduce some of these differences through illness prevention, connection and intentional one-on-one time.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“Your youngest child is not doomed, your eldest is not blessed.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• Article in The Washington

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

• Keep recommended immunisations up to date and discuss newborn protection with your healthcare provider.
• Breastfeed if you can and if it works for your family.
• Get older siblings washing their hands when they come home from school or daycare.
• Keep sick siblings away from newborns, particularly during the first six months.
• Make space for one-on-one reading, talking and play with younger children.
• Forget the stopwatch. Aim to be available and connected rather than trying to divide your attention perfectly equally.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Friendship isn't just part of childhood. It shapes confidence, mental health and whether kids feel they belong. So why does it seem harder than ever?

Michelle Mitchell joins Dr Justin Coulson to unpack the biggest friendship mistakes parents make, why today's kids need more than "just go and play", and the simple framework that helps children build healthier, stronger relationships. If your child is dealing with friendship drama, loneliness or constant social ups and downs, this conversation will change the way you guide them.

KEY POINTS

• Why friendship struggles sit behind so many school and wellbeing issues.
• What's changed for today's kids and why friendships feel more complicated than ever.
• Michelle Mitchell's three-part friendship framework: safety, chemistry and effort.
• How to help children recognise healthy, one-sided and situational friendships.
• Why parents shouldn't feel guilty for staying involved in their child's friendships.
• Practical advice for supporting neurodivergent children to build meaningful connections.
• The surprising research about bullying that every parent needs to hear.
• How technology is quietly changing what children expect from friendships.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

"Friendships are founded on safety. They gather energy through chemistry. They're sustained through effort."

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• Friendship Smart by Michelle Mitchell.
• A Little More Social by Nicholas Epley.

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

• Talk about one friendship with your child this week using three questions. Does it feel safe? Is there real connection? Are both people putting in effort?
• Help your child see that not every friendship needs to be equally close.
• Look beyond school for friendships through family, neighbours, hobbies and community groups.
• Notice when technology is shaping your child's expectations of friendship and talk openly about what healthy relationships look like.
• Remind your child that strong friendships grow over time through trust, kindness and consistency.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Nothing seems to work.

You model gratitude. You talk about growth mindset. You ask what went well each day. Yet your child still expects the worst, finds the problem first, and drains every exciting moment.

So should you keep trying to make them more positive?

In this episode, Justin and Kylie answer a question from a mum of 11-year-old twins who worries one daughter always sees the glass half empty. They unpack why some children naturally think this way, why forcing optimism often backfires, and the simple shift that helps children become more resilient without feeling like they're being fixed.

If you've ever wondered how to support a child who always seems negative, this conversation might completely change how you see them.

KEY POINTS

• Why temperament isn't something parents can change
• The surprising downside of pushing gratitude and positivity
• What defensive pessimism is and why it can actually be protective
• How to acknowledge feelings without making them bigger
• Why autonomy matters more than getting the "right" answer
• The hidden pressure that can exist between siblings and twins
• Small ways to build optimism without forcing it

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

"The fastest way to have a more positive child is making peace with the negative one."

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• Leave a question for the Happy Families Podcast
• Growth mindset
• Gratitude practices
• Defensive pessimism
• Autonomy and intrinsic motivation

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

• Stop trying to fix your child's personality.
• Get curious about what their negativity is telling you.
• Acknowledge feelings without dwelling on them.
• Give your child genuine choice instead of demanding positive responses.
• Model optimism consistently and let your child come to it in their own time.
• Spend one-on-one time with each child, especially if sibling comparisons are common.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.