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By Dr Justin Coulson
Deciding which parenting advice to follow? Join the thousands of mums and dads who turn to Australia’s most downloaded parenting podcast.
Dr Justin Coulson and his wife Kylie bring real
... more4.9
137137 ratings
The podcast currently has 1,608 episodes available.
The most played episodes among Podcast App listeners.

The harder we push, the more our kids can push back. Fresh from a free-diving trip in the Philippines, Justin shares an unexpected parenting lesson from 20 metres underwater: staying calm can get you further than forcing your way through. Kylie brings it back to the village around our kids and the power of adults who stop, listen and make a child feel like the most important person in the room. KEY POINTS Why force often creates resistance with kids What freediving taught Justin about staying calm under pressure How regulating ourselves can change a difficult parenting moment Why kids need trusted adults beyond their parents The impact of giving children your full attention How ordinary moments can help rebuild the village around our kids QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “Force creates resistance.” RESOURCES MENTIONED Let It Be Tough by Ant Williams Happy Families ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS When tension rises, slow yourself down before responding. Notice when you’re trying to force an outcome and soften your approach. Give your child your full attention when they want to tell you something. Think about the good adults in your child’s life and create more opportunities for connection with them. Be that trusted adult for another child in your wider family or community. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We put laptops and tablets into classrooms with a promise that technology would improve education. Nearly two decades later, parents and teachers are asking a confronting question: Did we get it wrong? Justin speaks with Danny Alachi, founder of the Heads Up Alliance, and Victorian high school teacher Steph Challis about the push to reduce screen use in Australian schools. They unpack classroom distraction, declining literacy, the value of handwriting and physical books, and why teaching digital skills doesn’t require kids to spend every lesson behind a screen. They also explain a new national petition calling for no one-to-one devices in primary schools, books and paper to become the default in high school, a pause on generative AI in classrooms, safer evidence-based educational apps, and a renewed focus on reading and handwriting. KEY POINTS Why one-to-one devices may be doing more harm than good in primary classrooms The distraction problem teachers are seeing when laptops are open Why books, handwriting and paper still matter for learning The difference between teaching digital literacy and teaching through a screen Why technology should have to prove it improves learning before schools adopt it The five changes the Heads Up Alliance wants Australian schools to make QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “Schools need to remember what they're for. They're there to teach children how to learn.” Steph Challis RESOURCES MENTIONED Heads Up Alliance Sign the petition ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Look at how devices are being used in your child’s classroom, not simply whether they are being used. Ask your school when screens genuinely improve learning and when books, paper and handwriting could work better. Read the petition and sign it if you support the proposed changes. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

One in three babies is using a phone or tablet by six months old. By age two, almost one in ten is averaging around four hours of screen time a day. New research into screen use during the first years of life has landed with a confronting warning for parents. Justin and Kylie unpack what researchers call “digital soothing”, why screens can crowd out the interactions babies need for healthy development, and what parents can do when zero screen time feels almost impossible. KEY POINTS 16% of Australian three and four year olds had recently used TikTok, YouTube or Instagram. More than half of children are using phones or tablets by their first birthday. Why researchers are concerned about using screens to soothe, comfort and entertain babies. How screens can replace the face-to-face “serve and return” interactions that build language and thinking skills. Higher screen exposure in the early years is linked with poorer sleep, delayed language and cognitive development, weaker social skills and poorer later school performance. Why watching together is different from leaving a young child alone with a device. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “The first thousand days build the brain. Work hard to get that right.” RESOURCES MENTIONED eSafety Commissioner’s Growing Up Online report Jonathan Haidt’s After Babel Substack New systematic review of global research into screen use during the first 1,001 days of life ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Aim for as close to zero screen time as possible during the first two years. Don’t rely on a device as your child’s regular comforter or distraction. Prioritise talking, playing, moving and face-to-face interaction. When screen time does happen, watch and engage together rather than handing over the device. Look at what screen time is replacing, not only what your child is watching. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Your five-year-old tells a whopping great lie at Show and Tell. Do you correct them, call them out, or let it go? Lying can push every parental button, but for young kids, stretching the truth can be a surprisingly normal sign of cognitive development. Justin and Kylie explain why kids lie, what their tall tales might be trying to tell us, and why cracking down can make children better at hiding the truth. The goal isn't to catch your child out. It's to understand what they need and make honesty safe. KEY POINTS By age four, around 80% of children will lie in experimental settings. Convincing lies require "theory of mind", the ability to understand what another person thinks or believes. Sometimes exaggeration is less about dishonesty and more about wanting connection, belonging, competence, or status. Punitive responses can encourage children to become better at lying rather than more honest. Avoid fact-checking or embarrassing your child in the moment. Give kids an "off-ramp" from a lie by asking curious questions instead of accusing them. Build the skills and relationships underneath the story so your child doesn't need to exaggerate to feel valued. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE "Kids tell the truth when it's safe to tell the truth." RESOURCES MENTIONED Theory of mind and children's cognitive development Research on lying and child development Happy Families resources on helping kids build friendships ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Stay calm. A young child's lie isn't automatically a red flag. Look underneath it. Ask whether your child is seeking connection, competence, attention, or belonging. Don't shame or ridicule them. Especially in front of other people. Give them an off-ramp. Try, "Which parts did you do?" rather than catching them out. Make honesty safe. Harsh punishment can make telling the truth feel too costly. Build real competence. Help them practise the skill so next time they can proudly say, "I did it myself." See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Location tracking. Checking a partner’s phone. Constantly asking where they are and who they’re with. For some teenagers, controlling behaviour is becoming so normal they may not even recognise it as a red flag. Justin and Kylie share three simple questions sparked by Victorian Attorney-General Sonya Kilkenny’s conversation with her teenage son: Do you know that’s wrong? Do you know that’s a red flag? What do the girls think? They unpack consent, coercive control, rejection and the messages boys are absorbing about what it means to be a man. Most importantly, they explain why these conversations need to start long before our kids begin dating. KEY POINTS Why jealousy, phone checking and location tracking can be mistaken for love or devotion Three questions that help teenagers recognise controlling behaviour Why conversations about consent should start when children are young Teaching kids to trust the feeling that says, “I don’t like this” Helping boys understand that rejection should be met with grace How online culture and unhealthy models of masculinity can shape boys’ ideas about relationships Why healthy relationships should leave people feeling safer and stronger Keeping conversations open so kids come to you when something doesn’t feel right QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “Healthy males help the people around them feel safer and stronger.” RESOURCES MENTIONED Boys: Building Strong Men From the Inside Out by Dr Justin Coulson Victorian Attorney-General Sonya Kilkenny’s comments about coercive control Happy Families school parent presentations ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Ask the three questions: When relationship behaviour comes up, ask, “Do you know that’s wrong?”, “Do you know that’s a red flag?” and “What does the other person think?” Start consent conversations early: Teach younger children that they can say no to unwanted affection, scary play or anything that makes them uncomfortable. Talk about what healthy masculinity looks like: Ask your child when they saw a boy or man help someone feel safer and stronger today. Talk about the opposite: Ask when they saw someone leave another person feeling smaller or weaker, then discuss what made the behaviour different. Keep talking: Make relationships, consent, pornography, online influences and red flags normal topics of conversation rather than one big awkward talk See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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