Jim Rendon is here to talk about his book, Upside: The New Science of Post-Traumatic Growth, where he interviews men & women from all over the world about their experiences with trauma and post traumatic growth. Growing up with a trauma survivor, his dad, who lived through The Holocaust, Jim was intrigued to uncover more about what happens when people experience post traumatic stress disorder, post traumatic symptoms and post traumatic growth. He worked with psychologists and experts to better understand the science and clinical perspective in depth.

This conversation sheds light on the idea that growth or growing is not linear & trauma is subjective. One story highlighted might really surprise you and the importance of keeping in mind that everyone's experience of what might be a seismic event may vary. And ultimately, the idea and ability for people to grow after trauma is more available and common than we might think. Jim puts it well when he says that the people who experience this type of growing and growth where they find new meaning and purpose in life have a mindset of thinking about the possibilities.

Jim Rendon is a Washington DC-based writer who covers nonprofits, science, design, the environment and plenty of other topics. He's gone cage diving with great white sharks, toured remote, ridge-top marijuana grows, visited maximum security prisons and mental institutions in pursuit of a story. His work has appeared in The New York Times Magazine and newspaper, Time, the Wall Street Journal, Mother Jones, Marie Claire, Fortune, Men's Journal, Outside, SmartMoney and other publications. His second book, Upside: The New Science of Post-Traumatic Growth was published in 2015.

See more about Jim & his work here: https://www.jimrendon.com/

Buy Upside: The New Science of Post-Traumatic Growth here: https://a.co/d/gNpAVhT

Ginny's website: www.ginnypriem.com

Ginny's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ginnypriem/

You requested, so here it is! After an Instagram poll, many of you voted and wanted to hear about friendship red flags and romantic relationship red flags. But friendship red flags squeaked by with the win to go first. So, this episode covers several red flags or potential red flags where a friendship may be toxic or just may no longer be healthy for you. One of the key indicators is to pay attention to how you feel after interactions or conversation with this person. It goes back to your emotional bank account and noticing if people are energy takers or energy givers. Do you feel fulfilled or exhausted? Do you cringe or feel dread or just that you don't have the emotional capacity to answer when you see their name pop up on your phone? These could be red flags or signs that this person isn't healthy for you. Do they ignore your boundaries, even after you've expressed them? Really pay attention to these things if they become patterns of destructive behavior. Does this person constantly gossip and trash talk negatively other friends in their life? If so, they're doing it to you, too! You are not immune to this. If they are sharing other people's personal and confidential information with you, they're sharing yours with others. If your friend only shows up for you when you're struggling or your life is in shambles, this could be a problem. Your friends will want to support your endeavors and ambitions and your successes and celebrate with you along the way. Are they jealous or do they criticize you all the time? Do they use sarcasm as a mean way to cut you down, but then say just kidding? Again, looking for patterns of these behaviors could be useful. Are you all of a sudden their best friend in the whole world even though you hardly know one another? Best friend status should take some time to establish to really get to know and trust one another. Narcissistic behaviors, like love bombing, can happen in friendships, too. It's not exclusive to romantic relationships. And maybe one of the biggest red flags is if they don't really have any other friendships, especially long standing friendships. The definition of this may vary based on age, but if they constantly have a new best friend, but then they cut them out of their life because they've always been wronged...this could be a big red flag! At some point, what is the common denominator? People should be able to maintain healthy relationships and friendships for extended periods of time if they have healthy boundaries. If you've experienced any of these or other red flags or toxic friendship behaviors not discussed here, please share them!

Ginny's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ginnypriem/

Ginny's Website: www.ginnypriem.com

In this episode, Ginny shares 3 of the biggest lessons she's learned and solidified in the last year. This timeframe specifically because after publishing her book, "You're My Favorite," these 3 areas really seemed to be highlighted. The first one is that vulnerability is strength. Ginny used to be tough, but found strength in vulnerability. The 2nd one is discovering that there is a path forward. In discovering this, she then went on to develop a coaching program around the model she used to catapult herself forward from a difficult time. Last, but not least, the importance of community is highlighted. Community starts with learning about, understanding and loving yourself so that you can understand the importance of the community around you. In some cases, you may decide that you need to make some modifications for yourself in your community. Ginny Grey Rocked a friend out of her life and did disconnect with a few family members. This allowed for even stronger connections and relationships to be built. Sometimes growing requires new people, new locations and new experiences. Embrace the new.

Come hang out on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/ginnypriem/

If you love Drinking with Gin, you may also enjoy Storytelling with Lindsay Bednar. It's about empowering, inspiring and educational conversations that Lindsay has with guests so that people are able to better understand and connect with one another. Take a listen here: https://open.spotify.com/show/5piCjmFUkFEy9LPhjZmnx8?si=e4af8b73c1834cd9

Oops...there are a couple of swear words in this episode! Nothing crazy or vulgar...in fact the couple swear words are kind of cute, but wanted to give you a heads up.

TW: sexual assault and rape are briefly mentioned in this episode. Nothing specific or detailed is discussed, but if you are not in a place at this time to hear those terms, you may want to come back another time.

This conversation is everything! Post traumatic growth and growing through adversity are the cornerstones of what Ginny's speaking, writing, podcast and coaching is all about. Lisa's experience and expertise is coupled with her compassionate and wonderful demeanor for a supportive and meaningful conversation on how people that have faced trauma and adversity can find the light at the end of the tunnel. The passion and connection in the conversation comes through. Normalization and validation are common themes throughout as well as noting that the pain & suffering can co-exist with the growing. This episode is powerful!

Lisa is a recognized expert in the strengths-based, de-pathologized treatment of trauma and has been in private practice for over 39 years. She presents workshops and keynote addresses nationally and internationally, and is a clinical consultant to practitioners and mental health agencies in the United States, Canada, the UK and Ireland. She has been an Adjunct Faculty member at several Universities, and is the Founder of “The Ferentz Institute,” now in its sixteenth year of providing continuing education to mental health professionals and graduating several thousand clinicians from her two Certificate Programs in Advanced Trauma Treatment. In 2009 she was voted the “Social Worker of Year” by the Maryland Society for Clinical Social Work. Lisa is the author of “Treating Self-Destructive Behaviors in Traumatized Clients: A Clinician’s Guide,” now in its second edition, “Letting Go of Self-Destructive Behaviors: A Workbook of Hope and Healing,” and “Finding Your Ruby Slippers: Transformative Life Lessons From the Therapist’s Couch.” Lisa also hosted a weekly radio talk show, writes blogs and articles for websites on trauma, attachment, self-destructive behaviors, and self-care, teaches on many webinars, and is a contributor to Psychologytoday.com. You can follow Lisa’s work on her website, www.theferentzinstitute.com, YouTube, LinkedIn and Twitter.

Lisa's book on Amazon: https://a.co/d/2PIR9IH

Ginny's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ginnypriem/

Ginny's website: www.ginnypriem.com

Dr. Timothy Levine gives us the truth about lying. He has studied extensively human behavior around lying and telling the truth. Ginny discovered his work on The Truth Default Theory in Malcolm Gladwell's book Talking to Strangers and knew he'd be a perfect expert guest for the podcast. Dr. Levine breaks down for us some of the information in his studies and it may surprise you! He talks to us about lying and honesty as well as pathological liars and we of course have to touch on narcissists. He also discusses his latest book, Duped. If you're a true crime junkie, you'll definitely want to grab a copy. You do not want to miss this episode!

Dr. Timothy Levine is Distinguished Professor and Chair of Communication Studies at University of Alabama at Birmingham .  Levine teaches and conducts research on topics related to deception, interpersonal communication, persuasion and social influence, cross-cultural communication, and social scientific research methods.  In addition to teaching graduate and undergraduate classes, Levine does training for police, attorneys, and people in the intelligence and counterintelligence communities.  Before UAB, he held faculty appointments at Korea University, Michigan State University, Indiana University and University of Hawaii.  Levine has published more than 140 refereed journal articles reporting original research related to communication and he is an internationally recognized leader in deception research.  He is the author or co-author of Information Manipulation Theory, Truth-Default Theory, the Veracity Effect, the Probing Effect, and the Park-Levine Probability Model.  His research on deception has been funded by the National Science Foundation, U.S. Department of Defense, and the FBI.  His current research focuses on what makes some people more believable than others and on effective interrogation strategies. Levine’s new book, Duped, describes his program of research on deception relevant to Truth-Default Theory. He has done training and workshops for the FBI BAU, NSA, various military groups, and various prosecutors. His work has recently been covered in NYT, CNN, and Newsweek.

You can learn more about Dr. Levine's work on his website: http://timothy-levine.squarespace.com/

Purchase Dr. Levine's book, Duped: https://a.co/d/ddL1xm7

Ginny's website: www.ginnypriem.com

Ginny's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ginnypriem/

TW: This episode touches on disordered eating. If you are in a place on your journey where this may be hard to listen to, you may want to skip.

We all have that story, that one thing or moment that shakes you and changes everything. My friend, Lauren Chante, is brave enough to share her story with us and the journey that it sent her on, and ultimately now how she serves others to help change their lives. It's truly inspiring!

About Lauren: Lauren specializes in helping intellectual Wonder Women create chaos-proof, customizable wellness strategies that don't include 5 AM workouts, cutting out food groups or obsessive calorie counting.  A 15-year veteran of her field with a Master's Degree in Exercise Science and numerous certifications, she's appeared as an expert for Livestrong, Good Housekeeping, Men's Journal and is a frequent guest on top podcasts.  Lauren has been a celebrity personal trainer and trained professional athletes from around the world.  She is host of the podcast Rock Your Wellness with Lauren Chante.

Lauren's web site: http://www.laurenchante.com/

Lauren's Instagram: @laurenchanteofficial

Ginny's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ginnypriem/

Ginny's Website: www.ginnypriem.com

This episode may just be the most raw and vulnerable yet. Ginny share's her hardest breakup, and it's not who you think. This is a conversation that's been a long time coming, but needed to be navigated delicately. In an effort to be respectful and also honest and open, Ginny opens up about not having a relationship with her mom. Some people may have a hard time understanding this, but try to come with an open mind. When people have experienced trauma, emotional abuse or have a toxic relationship with someone, sometime's this may be the only option, even if it's their absolute last choice. There can be stigma, shame and judgment around making a decision like this, but it may also provide some validation for people that have been faced with a similar choice. If you related to this or know someone that needs to hear this, screenshot this episode and share it on your social media. Tag @ginnypriem in it!

Ginny's website: www.ginnypriem.com

Ginny's Instagram, Twitter, LinkedIn & TikTok: @ginnypriem

Article: There is an article by an anonymous writer on @oprahdaily on Instagram that you could read. @oprah

Book: "I'm Glad My Mom Died" by Jenette McCurdy

This episode explores titles and the weight we put on them, either professionally or personally. This leads directly into the Social Comparison Theory, which was discovered in 1954 by psychologist Leon Festinger. Can you imagine what he would be thinking with all of the comparing via social media now?! Ginny talks about upward & downward comparison and the benefits & dangers of comparing. And of course, there's a reference on comparing as it relates to narcissism. Theodore Roosevelt called comparison "the thief of joy." Do you find meaning in your title(s)? Is your joy being stolen from comparison? There are some helpful reminders in this episode to keep us on track with what really matters.

Ginny's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ginnypriem/

Ginny's Website: www.ginnypriem.com

Dr. Steven Dayan Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drstevendayan/

Psychology Today Article: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/social-comparison-theory

Have you ever stayed in a relationship or a at a job longer than you should have? Or what about sitting through the worst movie ever or ate terrible food because, well...you paid for it!?! That's what this episode is all about. This is what's referred to as the Sunk Cost Fallacy. We tend to make decisions not logically about what we might gain or benefit from in the future, rather make emotionally based on what we might lose. There are some fun examples and references that you might relate to and some helpful take aways.

Ginny's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ginnypriem/

Ginny's Website: www.ginnypriem.com

Resources: https://youarenotsosmart.com/2011/03/25/the-sunk-cost-fallacy/

In this episode, we are chatting with Anna Steidl, LPCC. We are covering all things surrounding attachment styles. We'll review the 4 different styles: Anxious, Avoidant, Disorganized and Secure. We'll dive in to where they stem from, how each one shows up in relationships and then match up different ones to see which tend to be the most successful matches and which ones may tend to be problematic. Finally, Anna walks us through some helpful steps to take that you may help you move from one of the insecure attachments to a more secure style.

Ginny's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ginnypriem/

Ginny's Website: www.ginnypriem.com

Anna is a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor (LPCC) who has a love for helping people work through difficulties that come about in everyday life. Her lens of healing is a holistic approach incorporating Eastern ideals through yoga, meditation, energy, and sound healing.

Anna’s experience centers around early intervention trauma work with children, individual therapy, attachment theory, family therapy, parent coaching, play therapy, children and teens with Autism, ADHD, anxiety, and depression.  She is ready and willing to work with anyone that is ready to travel along the path of healing and wellness.

Since getting her license, Anna has completed training in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), Art Therapy, Emotional Focused Therapy (EFT), and Mindfulness Approaches.

Find and connect with Anna at www.wetcmn.com

Resources: 

Books: 

Attached by Dr. Amir Levine: https://a.co/d/5MvFc93

The Power of Attachment by Diane Poole: https://a.co/d/8WB1So0

Website: www.psychologytoday.com

Quizzes:

https://www.scienceofpeople.com/attachment-styles/

https://psychcentral.com/quizzes/attachment-style-quiz