Durable Dad with Tommy Geary

Nonstop action has rewarded you for years—but it’s quietly draining the energy that makes you effective at work and present at home.
Constant motion eventually backfires.

Highlights

• Why pride in exhaustion is costing you patience, clarity, and connection
• The three stories men tell themselves to avoid slowing down
• Why scrolling and “checking out” isn’t real recovery
• Why recharging is a leadership move, not a personal indulgence

Stop calling exhaustion commitment—it’s usually mismanagement

Before the holidays get louder, decide where you’ll refuel on purpose.
A rested man leads better, loves better, and works better.

Stop Losing Your Temper Road Map

This roadmap will teach you how to have more patience.

To give your kids more time and attention.

Anger isn't your fault, but it is your responsibility.

Learn how to manage it so it doesn't get the best of you.

https://www.tommygcoaching.com/roadmap

Most men say they want growth, but avoid the unfamiliar territory where it actually happens.

Highlights:
• Why comfort pulls high-achieving men into quiet ruts.
• The link between physical challenge and feeling alive again.
• The Rim to River adventure.
• What happens when you train for something that scares you a little.
• How unfamiliar experiences reset your mindset more than any routine tweak.

Takeaways:
• Schedule something on your calendar that requires preparation.
• When discomfort shows up, name it as unfamiliar—not wrong.
• Use challenge to create energy for work, marriage, and fatherhood.

Guest:
Craig Speer—men’s health coach helping guys over 40 get strong, lean, and capable.

Stop Losing Your Temper Road Map

This roadmap will teach you how to have more patience.

To give your kids more time and attention.

Anger isn't your fault, but it is your responsibility.

Learn how to manage it so it doesn't get the best of you.

https://www.tommygcoaching.com/roadmap

Most men make decisions out of convenience or pressure—and end up with regret or resentment.

Highlights:
• The difference between working in your life versus working on it
• Why most men lose purpose—and drift into distraction
• How a North Star makes big decisions easier
• The three questions to define your North Star: values, impact, and energizers
• How a simple North Star gives you clarity when tough choices show up
• Why alignment—not hustle—creates steadiness at home
• A client story using his North Star to pass on a tempting opportunity

Takeaways:
• Block real “strategy time” for your life the same way you do for work
• Build your filter before the big decisions show up
• Check your week: Did your actions match the man you say you want to be?

Listen to the episode, then take a morning to define your North Star. Your kids and your wife will feel the difference when your decisions start lining up with who you want to be.

Stop Losing Your Temper Road Map

This roadmap will teach you how to have more patience.

To give your kids more time and attention.

Anger isn't your fault, but it is your responsibility.

Learn how to manage it so it doesn't get the best of you.

https://www.tommygcoaching.com/roadmap

It’s not the outburst that matters—it’s what’s driving it.

Highlights:
• The text from Tommy’s mom that exposed how quickly frustration can surface
• Why anger is a part of you—not all of you
• How Internal Family Systems (IFS) helps men understand their reactions
• What anger is really after
• The link between frustration and how we parent
• What changes when you pause and get curious about your reaction
• Simple ways to quiet your “angry part” before it takes the wheel

Takeaways:

1. Stop trying to suppress anger—start understanding it.
2. You are not your anger.
3. The calmer you are inside, the calmer your world feels outside.

Tommy references Dr. Richard Schwartz’s No Bad Parts and walks through how “parts work” reshaped his relationship with his mom, his wife, and himself.

If you want to understand your own anger and lead from calm, schedule a 50-minute strategy session at DurableDad.com. We’ll talk through where that part shows up and how to get back to steady ground.

Stop Losing Your Temper Road Map

This roadmap will teach you how to have more patience.

To give your kids more time and attention.

Anger isn't your fault, but it is your responsibility.

Learn how to manage it so it doesn't get the best of you.

https://www.tommygcoaching.com/roadmap

Most men feel a twinge of guilt when they leave home—whether it’s for work, a trip, or adventure. This episode breaks down how to handle it without losing presence or connection.

Highlights:

• The moment in the Grand Canyon that reframed what “leaving well” really means
• Why guilt shows up for good men—and what it’s actually telling you
• The hidden cost of trying to control your wife’s emotions
• How to prepare your family without overcompensating
• The three-part framework: Acknowledge. Let go. Redefine responsibility.
• What it looks like to come home clear, calm, and recharged

Practical Takeaways:

1. Guilt isn’t a problem—it’s proof you care.
2. Let go of trying to manage outcomes you can’t control.
3. Leave home with trust so you can return full, not drained.

About the Host:
Tommy Geary helps high-achieving men build stronger marriages, calmer minds, and a durable sense of self—so they can lead at home the way they lead at work.

Reflective CTA:
Before your next trip, pause and ask yourself: am I leaving to escape—or to refuel?

Stop Losing Your Temper Road Map

This roadmap will teach you how to have more patience.

To give your kids more time and attention.

Anger isn't your fault, but it is your responsibility.

Learn how to manage it so it doesn't get the best of you.

https://www.tommygcoaching.com/roadmap

Sometimes the fastest way forward is by cutting back.

Highlights:

• The trap of piling on more goals when your plate is already full.
• Common “small negatives” that erode connection at home—screens, alcohol, quick yes’s, passive jabs.
• Why eliminating what drags you down works better than predicting what will lift you up.
• Insights from Tim Ferriss, Greg McKeown, and Nassim Taleb on the art of subtraction.
• Removing marriage habits that create distance and start opening space for real connection.

Takeaways:

1. Stop adding goals when you’re overloaded—focus on cutting the obvious negatives first.
2. Subtraction frees up energy, time, and presence in your work and family.
3. “What you don’t do” can be the clearest path to growth.

When you think about what’s next in your life, start by asking: What don’t I want?

Stop Losing Your Temper Road Map

This roadmap will teach you how to have more patience.

To give your kids more time and attention.

Anger isn't your fault, but it is your responsibility.

Learn how to manage it so it doesn't get the best of you.

https://www.tommygcoaching.com/roadmap

Misplaced attention fuels frustration, fear, and sadness. Most men underestimate how much power they give away when they let the news and social media dictate their attention.

Highlights:

• Why misplaced attention drains productivity and sleep
• How headlines turn conversations pessimistic and repetitive
• The hidden impact on parenting decisions and family life
• The simple practice that reveals what’s really underneath the anger

Takeaways:

• Your attention is your power—choose where it goes.
• Guard against the pull of headlines, comments, and opinions.
• Put focus back on what you can control: health, family, and work.

What would shift if you pulled your attention away from the noise and put it back where it matters?

Stop Losing Your Temper Road Map

This roadmap will teach you how to have more patience.

To give your kids more time and attention.

Anger isn't your fault, but it is your responsibility.

Learn how to manage it so it doesn't get the best of you.

https://www.tommygcoaching.com/roadmap

Most of us only see the distance to our ideal. In this episode we look at using our progress to propel us. We cover:

• The framework of “the gap and the gain” and why it matters

• Why focusing on the gap creates more frustration at home and work

• Simple daily practice to shift your brain toward the gain

• Two situations where “focusing on the gain” can backfire—and what to do instead

Practical takeaways:

• End each day by writing down three wins—big or small.

• Measure progress backward, against where you started, not against an ideal.

• Watch your blind spots: gains aren’t excuses to ignore responsibility.

The gap is endless. Train your focus on the wins, and you’ll bring more calm, presence, and energy to your family and leadership.

Stop Losing Your Temper Road Map

This roadmap will teach you how to have more patience.

To give your kids more time and attention.

Anger isn't your fault, but it is your responsibility.

Learn how to manage it so it doesn't get the best of you.

https://www.tommygcoaching.com/roadmap

Most men try to push themselves forward with criticism—but that fuel burns out fast.

Episode Highlights:

• Why putting pressure on ourselves feels logical but actually drains energy
• How early success conditions us to rely on fear and shame
• Signs your self-talk is undermining motivation (numbing out, overworking, chasing validation)
• The shift from critic to cheerleader—what it sounds like in real life

Takeaways:

• Notice when your self-talk is critical and learn to reflect on the impact.
• Trade pressure for encouragement—end your day by naming wins, not misses.
• Practice the same positive reinforcement with yourself that you want to give your kids and team.

This week, take stock of your own motivation. Is your critic driving—or your cheerleader?

Stop Losing Your Temper Road Map

This roadmap will teach you how to have more patience.

To give your kids more time and attention.

Anger isn't your fault, but it is your responsibility.

Learn how to manage it so it doesn't get the best of you.

https://www.tommygcoaching.com/roadmap

Family trips aren’t vacations. They’re rollercoasters—packed with logistics, too many personalities, and unmet expectations.

In this episode, we dive into what a request for chips can reveal about expectations, irritation, and presence. 

Plus, the creative shift behind the podcast, and what it means to keep showing up as a dad, husband, and creator when life changes.

Highlights:

• The difference between a vacation and a family trip
• Why unmet expectations lead to frustration
• Coaching insight: how to adjust your mindset before a trip
• A new lens for managing energy, responsibility, and gratitude

Take Action:

Before your next trip (or even your next weekend), pause and check your expectations. Are they helping or hurting how you show up?

Stop Losing Your Temper Road Map

This roadmap will teach you how to have more patience.

To give your kids more time and attention.

Anger isn't your fault, but it is your responsibility.

Learn how to manage it so it doesn't get the best of you.

https://www.tommygcoaching.com/roadmap