Pillow Talks

E214: The Truth About Being Touch-Starved (Even In A Happy Relationship)


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This week, we’re diving into something that seems simple but holds a lot of power in your relationship: touch.


Whether it's a lingering hug, a soft shoulder squeeze, or just holding hands while watching Netflix — physical touch is one of the most important (and underrated) ways to build connection, intimacy, and trust.


But if you’ve found yourselves touching less — or if touch feels off somehow — you’re not alone. We asked our audience, and:

  • 47% said they want more touch

  • 37% said they want better touch

    In this episode, we’re breaking down why touch is so essential — and why so many couples stop doing it. (Spoiler: it's not just about sex.) Plus, we’re giving you practical tools and one super simple free exercise (takes 5 minutes) to start reconnecting through touch today.


    💛 Here’s what we’re covering:

    • The emotional and physical benefits of touch (for both of you)

    • Why “touch starvation” is real — even in long-term relationships

    • The surprising ways you may be unintentionally avoiding touch

    • The difference between sexual and non-sexual touch — and why both matter

    • What to do if your partner says “touch just isn’t my love language”

    • Quick, everyday ways to bring more affection into your relationship (no grand gestures required)

      Ready to explore all the ways to touch?

      We created The Secret Touch Blueprint to help you and your partner reflect on what kinds of touch feel best to you — and how to talk about it together.

      Grab it here → https://free.vmtherapy.com/touch-blueprint

      And if doing that exercise leaves you thinking, “Wait… I want more of this,” you’ll love what’s coming next.

      This July, we’re launching a 4-week Sensual Touch Challenge exclusively inside our Deeper membership.

      It’ll walk you through 8 specific types of touch — from relaxing to arousing — with fun prompts, step-by-step videos, and guided exercises to try with your partner.

      It’s designed to bring back the playfulness, the exploration, and the kind of touch that makes you feel again.

      💥 Pillow Talks listeners get 25% off their first month of Deeper with code PILLOWhttps://vmtherapy.com/touch


      Links & resources:

      • 👋🏻 The Secret Touch Blueprinthttps://free.vmtherapy.com/touch-blueprint

      • 💥 Join the Sensual Touch Challenge (starting July 7 inside Deeper) → https://vmtherapy.com/touch


        Stay connected:

        📸 Follow us on Instagram ➡️ https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander

        💌 Get our weekly email — with behind-the-scenes stories, expert tips, and so many sex puns.

        Sign up here 👉🏻 vmtherapy.com/subscribe

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        Pillow TalksBy Vanessa & Xander Marin

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