Pillow Talks

E225: The Truth About Sex and Aging: Menopause, Erectile Dysfunction, and Libido


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Aging is inevitable. But letting your sex life fade away? Nope.

This week, we’re tackling one of our most requested topics ever: sex and aging.

We’re answering your biggest questions about how intimacy shifts as the years go by: from libido changes, to navigating menopause, to keeping things hot.


💛 In this episode, we cover:

  • How old is too old to have sex (spoiler: never)

  • What to do if your libido and your partner’s don’t line up anymore

  • Navigating perimenopause and helping your partner understand it’s not about them

  • Feeling sexy in a body that doesn’t look like it did at 20

  • How to manage vaginal dryness, erectile changes, and shifting anatomy

  • Creative ways to keep intimacy exciting even when it feels like you’ve “done it all”

    And you’ll also hear sweet (and funny) messages from listeners who say that sex in midlife and beyond is actually the best sex they’ve ever had.

    You’ll also hear some of our favorite messages from listeners in their 40s, 50s, 60s (and beyond!) about why sex actually gets freer, hotter, and more confident with age.

    Because here’s the thing: aging is inevitable. But a boring sex life? That’s optional.


    ✨ Ready to spice things up at any age?

    Our Ultimate Sex Guide is your roadmap to better intimacy. Inside, you’ll find:

    • 42 step-by-step positions with illustrations, tips, and playful modifications

    • A workbook + printable cards to track your favorites (and keep things exciting)

    • Expert tips and troubleshooting for when sex doesn’t go as planned

    • An audio version so you can get quick, shame-free guidance anytime

      Whether you’re looking for fresh inspiration or new ways to connect, The Ultimate Sex Guide will help you discover just how good sex can get!

      Check it out here 👉🏻 https://vmtherapy.com/ultimate


      Links & Resources 

      Get our sex positions playbook here 👉🏻 https://vmtherapy.com/ultimate

      E215  Mismatched Sex Drive Types: The #1 Reason Couples Struggle With Desire 👉🏻 https://vmtherapy.com/episode215

      E121 When She Wants It More: Navigating Mismatched Libidos When The Woman Has A Higher Drive 👉🏻 https://vmtherapy.com/episode121


      🎧 Stay connected

      📸 Follow us on Instagram ➡️ instagram.com/vanessaandxander

      💌 Get our weekly email — with behind-the-scenes stories, expert tips, and so many sex puns. Sign up here 👉🏻 vmtherapy.com/subscribe

      🎧 Never miss an episode! Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you listen to pods!


      Timestamps 

      00:00 – Intro

      03:38 – How old is too old to have sex?

      11:12 – How does libido change with age?

      16:22 – When does a drop in libido become a health concern?

      19:18 – Navigating perimenopause with your partner

      33:31 – Body image and aging

      39:34 – Best sex positions for older couples

      44:34 – Vaginal dryness and aging

      46:18 – Does your labia shrink or change with age?

      49:52 – How to keep your sex life exciting as you get older

      54:03 – Trouble staying hard as you age


      ==========================

      THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS

      ==========================

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      👏Thanks Chewy. Chewy has everything you need to keep your pet happy and healthy. You can save $20 on your first order and get free shipping!➡︎https://chewpanions.chewy.com/@vanessandxander

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      Pillow TalksBy Vanessa & Xander Marin

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