Pillow Talks

E227: Initiation: What You’re Getting Wrong And How To Get It Right


Listen Later

Hot take: when you finally get initiation right, your entire sex life opens up.


Think about it. No more awkward “was that supposed to be a signal?” moments. No more pressure on just one person to get things started. And no more cycle of rejection and resentment. When initiation feels fun, confident, and mutual, everything else in your sex life starts to feel easier, more connected, and a lot more exciting.


We’re back with a re-air of one of our most popular episodes ever, because initiation is one of the biggest challenges couples face.


💛 In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • The biggest mistakes couples make when it comes to initiation (and what to do instead).

  • Why one partner often feels all the pressure, and how to change it up and share the spark.

  • How to shift from frustration and rejection to connection and desire.

  • Practical strategies to make initiation feel exciting, flirty, fun, and hot again.

    If you’ve ever felt frustrated, annoyed, or even rejected by your partner’s initiation attempts (or lack of them), this conversation will help you see both sides of the equation and give you totally do-able techniques you can try tonight.


    🔥 $40 FLASH SALE : Art Of Initiation 🔥

    We’re doing something we’ve never done before. For this weekend only, get our top-selling course, Art of Initiation, for just $40 (normally $89). That’s more than 50% off! Now through Sunday, September 28, 2025


    Inside, you’ll learn how to initiate in ways that actually feel amazing for both of you. Trust us, it’s a total game-changer.


    👉 Grab AOI here: vmtherapy.com/initiation and use code FLASH40 at checkout.


    Links & Resources

    👉 E73: Do You Ever “Owe” Sex To Your Partner?: https://vmtherapy.com/episode73

    👉 What’s Your Sex Drive Type? Free Download:  https://free.vmtherapy.com/sex-drive-type

    👉 E38: You Want Connection, Your Partner Wants Sex. Who Comes First?: https://vmtherapy.com/episode38

    👉 E183: How To Get More Emotional Intimacy From Your Partner https://vmtherapy.com/episode183


    🎧 Stay connected

    📸 Follow us on Instagram ➡️ instagram.com/vanessaandxander

    💌 Get our weekly email with behind-the-scenes stories, expert tips, and so many sex puns. Sign up here 👉🏻 vmtherapy.com/subscribe

    🎧 Never miss an episode! Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you listen to pods.


    ==========================

    THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS

    ==========================

    👏Thanks Skims. Shop SKIMS Fits Everybody collection at SKIMS.com. After you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you! Select "podcast" in the survey and be sure to select our show in the dropdown menu that follows. ➡︎https://www.skims.com/pillow

    👏Thanks goPure. Use the code PILLOW to get 25% off ➡︎https://gopure.com

    👏Thanks Cowboy Colostrum. Get 25% off when you use the code PILLOW. ➡︎https://www.cowboycolostrum.com

    👏Thanks Hungryroot. Use code pillow to get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice for life➡︎https://Hungryroot.com/pillow

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    ...more
    View all episodesView all episodes
    Download on the App Store

    Pillow TalksBy Vanessa & Xander Marin | QCODE

    • 4.9
    • 4.9
    • 4.9
    • 4.9
    • 4.9

    4.9

    2,411 ratings


    More shows like Pillow Talks

    View all
    Sex With Emily by Dr. Emily Morse

    Sex With Emily

    6,765 Listeners

    ONE Extraordinary Marriage Show by Tony & Alisa DiLorenzo

    ONE Extraordinary Marriage Show

    1,757 Listeners

    Foreplay Radio – Couples and Sex Therapy by Cloud10

    Foreplay Radio – Couples and Sex Therapy

    1,974 Listeners

    Sexology by Dr. Nazanin Moali, Ph.D, Psychology of Sex | Couple Therapy | Sex Education

    Sexology

    420 Listeners

    The Bad Girls Bible - Sex, Relationships, Dating, Love & Marriage Advice by Sean Jameson

    The Bad Girls Bible - Sex, Relationships, Dating, Love & Marriage Advice

    867 Listeners

    Shameless Sex by Amy Baldwin and April Lampert| Pleasure Podcasts

    Shameless Sex

    3,006 Listeners

    Orgasmic Enlightenment with Kim Anami by Kim Anami

    Orgasmic Enlightenment with Kim Anami

    1,472 Listeners

    Sex and Psychology Podcast by Dr. Justin Lehmiller

    Sex and Psychology Podcast

    291 Listeners

    Honeydew Me by Emma Norman & Cass Anderson

    Honeydew Me

    530 Listeners

    Get Your Marriage On! with Dan Purcell by Dan Purcell | Sex & Intimacy Coach | Christian Husband

    Get Your Marriage On! with Dan Purcell

    230 Listeners

    That's Orgasmic with Sexologist Emily Duncan by Emily Duncan

    That's Orgasmic with Sexologist Emily Duncan

    107 Listeners

    The Horny Housewife by Jordyn Hakes | Pleasure Podcasts

    The Horny Housewife

    1,519 Listeners

    The Intimate Marriage Podcast, with Intimacy Coach Alexandra Stockwell, MD by Alexandra Stockwell, MD

    The Intimate Marriage Podcast, with Intimacy Coach Alexandra Stockwell, MD

    153 Listeners

    The Mel Robbins Podcast by Mel Robbins

    The Mel Robbins Podcast

    20,283 Listeners

    Girls Gone Deep by Elle and Vee

    Girls Gone Deep

    237 Listeners