March 20, 2023

E28: Practicing Forgiveness in Recovery

44 minutes

You hear over and over in the recovery community that resentment leads to relapse. And while that might be a bit harsh, it's also not far from the truth. Carrying around resentment can build up all kinds of negative feelings inside of us that can lead us to want to escape. In this episode, we talk with Eliza, Matthew, and Alex about letting go of resentment by practicing forgiveness.

"There is no timetable for forgiveness."

Some of the topics we cover include:

Forgiving ourselves

We can only quit drinking for ourselves

Society's tendency to see addiction as a moral failing

the controversy surrounding MAT

Learning not to play the victim

Taking responsiblity for our choices and actions

Believing that we deserve forgiveness

Accepting that some people won't forgive us

Showing we have changed through our actions

Rebuilding trust

Fake versus real apologies

You don't get to blame the booze

Learning acceptance when forgiveness isn't possible

Not allowing yourself to be a doormat

"Forgiveness is a two way street. Acceptance is a one way street."

Eliza mentions MAT, which is Medication Assisted Treatment. You can read more about it here.

Alex mentions the book This Naked Mind, which has helped thousands of people recover from addiction. Learn about the book, and author Annie Grace at thisnakedmind.com

Eliza Foltz is in long-term recovery after struggling with opioid addiction for over a decade. She is the CRO at Pretaa, a behavioral analytics company that improves the continuity of care for those with SUDs or behavioral health challenges and aims to predict relapse and notify caregivers so they can provide the right intervention at the right time. She lives outside of Boston, MA with her husband (also in recovery), two children, and dog Bean.

Matthew is a former executive chef who grew up in the orchestrated chaos of the culinary world under belly. He now travels as a Director of Operations for a hospitality company in the Senior Living division across the U.S. He got sober Nov 4th 2020 after chronic relapses, jails and institutions. Matthew enjoys learning about others sober journey, recovery and addiction as he fly’s around the country. His favorite quote is “Integrity is doing the right thing, even when no one is watching.” C.S. Lewis

Alex: Born in Iowa, raised in McAllen, Texas, current resident of Omaha, NE. Sober for 126 days after 12 years of being an advocate for alcohol use/ consumption. Believer that kindness and vulnerability goes a long way for the general human condition. Be a good person and good things will happen.

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By Julie Miller & Steve Knapp

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