No Alcohol Needed: The Podcast

Self forgiveness after quitting drinking can feel impossible when you still regret the people you hurt, the risks you took, and the moments you missed. How do you live with what happened without punishing yourself forever?

Amber and Janice join Julie and Steve for an honest conversation about facing the past and learning to treat yourself with compassion. We share the regrets that were hardest to sit with - and how trying to make up for them sometimes led to isolation, overpromising, and impossible expectations.

We talk about:

Self forgiveness takes time. You can acknowledge the harm you caused, keep learning, and begin building a life you're proud to be present for.

Find more episodes and information about our free Monday night community meeting at noalcoholneeded.net.

If this conversation helps you feel less alone, follow No Alcohol Needed and share this episode with someone who might need it, too.

“I miss alcohol - even though I’m glad I quit.” If you’ve had that thought and then felt guilty, confused, or started doubting your decision, this conversation is for you.

Maybe you miss the fun, the friendships, the escape, or the version of yourself who seemed to relax a little easier. You can appreciate your life without alcohol and still grieve parts of the life you left behind.

Julie and Steve join Teresa McLellan and Martin Lockett for an honest conversation about missing alcohol, letting go of an old identity, and remembering why you chose to quit. We also explore how those same feelings show up when you leave a relationship, a job, or a future you hoped you’d have.

In this episode, we discuss:

You don’t have to pretend you hated every part of drinking to stand by your decision to quit. Missing something doesn’t have to decide where you go next.

Find community and explore coaching: noalcoholneeded.net

If this conversation helped you feel understood, share it with someone who might need to hear it. Follow No Alcohol Needed for more honest conversations about creating a life you love without alcohol.

You want to quit drinking - but the advice keeps coming back to God, prayer, and finding a higher power. What if none of that connects with you? Can you find support without pretending to believe something you don’t?

Julie and Steve join Sean and David for an honest conversation about faith, doubt, spirituality, and life without alcohol. Their experiences have led them in different directions - from ministry and returning to Jesus to finding meaning in nature, human connection, and beliefs that are still evolving.

They don’t share one definition of a higher power - or even the belief in a higher power at all. Together, they explore what helps them find purpose, accept what they can’t control, and take responsibility for what they can.

In this episode, we discuss:

Whether faith is central to your life, you’ve stepped away from religion, or you’re still figuring out what you believe, there’s room for you in this conversation.

Looking for connection? Join our free Monday night support group. Visit noalcoholneeded.net for details, and explore “Meet the Voices” to get to know our guests.

If this conversation resonates with you, follow No Alcohol Needed and share this episode with someone who’s felt out of place in conversations about quitting drinking.

What do you do when a relationship hurts more than it helps... but walking away doesn't feel like the right answer either?

When we quit drinking and begin seeing things more clearly, we often start seeing our relationships differently too. Some were built around alcohol. Some depended on us staying quiet, ignoring our needs, or accepting behavior that no longer feels okay. But recognizing that a relationship is unhealthy does not always tell us what to do next.

In this episode, Julie and Steve are joined by BethAnn and Corina for an honest conversation about the many options between tolerating a painful relationship and ending it forever.

Together, they discuss:

Julie shares what she learned after stepping away from a close friendship and navigating years of distance and reconnection with her mother. Steve talks about finding a sustainable way to remain connected to his father. Corina reflects on learning to trust herself after a controlling relationship, while BethAnn offers an important perspective on ending contact with an abusive parent.

Relationships are rarely as simple as healthy or toxic, good or bad, stay or leave. This conversation offers a more thoughtful question: How can I handle this relationship in a way I can live with?

Learn more about our work, our guests, and the No Alcohol Needed community at https://noalcoholneeded.net.

If this episode resonates with you, follow the show and share it with someone who may need permission to reconsider the shape of a difficult relationship.

What happens when past hurt makes connection feel dangerous?

It is possible to want close friendships and honest relationships while also feeling determined never to be vulnerable enough to get hurt again. Keeping everyone at a distance can feel safer - but it can also become painfully lonely.

In this episode of No Alcohol Needed: the Podcast, Julie Miller and Steve Knapp are joined by therapists Teresa McLellan and Crystal Hamilton to explore how to trust people again after betrayal, rejection, or repeated disappointment.

Together, they discuss:

Learning to trust again does not require believing that everyone is safe. It means becoming more confident in the ability to notice what is happening, respond to it, and remain okay - even when another person disappoints or rejects us.

The conversation offers a more realistic path toward connection: share in small pieces, pay attention to how those pieces are handled, let people earn deeper trust over time, and build confidence in the ability to handle whatever follows.

Learn more about No Alcohol Needed, meet the voices from the podcast, and find the free Monday Zoom gathering at noalcoholneeded.net

What if taking responsibility didn’t mean blaming yourself - but taking your power back so you can find real joy?

It’s easy to believe life would finally feel better if another person changed, work became less stressful, the kids behaved differently, or circumstances simply stopped going wrong. But when happiness depends on everything around us cooperating, we can end up feeling powerless.

In this episode of No Alcohol Needed, Julie and Steve are joined by Dave and David for a candid conversation about radical responsibility: recognizing what belongs to you, allowing other people to carry what belongs to them, and making intentional choices even when life is difficult or unfair.

Together, they explore:

Radical responsibility does not mean that everything that happened to you was your fault. It means recognizing the choices that are still available to you - and deciding that what happened will not have complete control over what you do next.

Learn more about the podcast and meet the voices at https://noalcoholneeded.net

Why does someone else’s success so quickly become evidence that you’re failing?

Comparing yourself to others is deeply human. We use comparison to understand where we fit, whether we belong, and whether we’re doing okay. But when comparison becomes tied to shame and self-worth, it can leave us feeling like everyone else is doing life - or sobriety - better than we are.

In this episode, Julie and Steve are joined by Matt and Sean for an honest conversation about comparison, confidence, and recovery. They discuss feeling behind because of years spent drinking, comparing sober time and recovery progress, and the pressure to measure personal growth against someone who began with entirely different circumstances.

They also challenge the idea that comparison is always harmful. Sometimes it can offer useful information, show us what is possible, and help us recognize what we genuinely want. The difference is whether someone else’s progress inspires curiosity - or becomes a verdict about our own worth.

Together, they explore:

You may never stop comparing yourself to others completely - and you may not need to. The goal is to stop using someone else’s life as proof that yours isn’t good enough.

What does comparison sound like inside your head? What helps you return to your own definition of success?

Find more support and resources from No Alcohol Needed at noalcoholneeded.net.

Why does marriage sometimes feel harder after quitting drinking - even though sobriety was supposed to make everything better?

Removing alcohol from a relationship doesn’t automatically remove the problems surrounding it. Sobriety can expose loneliness, resentment, damaged trust, unmet emotional needs, and unhealthy roles that both partners have learned to play. It can also introduce an entirely new version of the person who quit drinking - one who is learning to speak up, set boundaries, and show up more honestly.

In Episode 199 of the No Alcohol Needed podcast, Julie Miller and Steve Knapp are joined by Kara and Corina for an honest conversation about marriage after quitting drinking. They share experiences from relationships that ended, as well as a marriage that survived, changed, and ultimately became stronger.

Together, they discuss:

A difficult season after quitting drinking does not automatically mean the marriage is doomed - or that getting sober was a mistake. What matters is how both people approach the changes and whether they are willing to move through them with honesty, accountability, curiosity, patience, and compassion.

Learn more about No Alcohol Needed and find additional recovery resources:

https://noalcoholneeded.net/

Join our free weekly Monday Zoom gathering:

https://noalcoholneeded.net/meeting-faqs/

If this episode helped, follow the podcast and share it with someone who may need to know they aren’t alone.

Why is it so hard to say what needs to be said - even when staying silent is eating away at us?

Vulnerability in sobriety can feel terrifying. Speaking honestly means risking judgment, rejection, conflict, or being misunderstood. But the things that go unsaid rarely disappear. They often become shame, resentment, loneliness, and another reason to numb.

In the Season 5 premiere, Julie and Steve are joined by Amber and Barclay for a candid conversation about finding the courage to speak up. They share the subjects that carry the most shame, what their families taught them about expressing emotions, and real-life experiences of finally having conversations they had been avoiding.

Together, they explore:

Why vulnerability can feel genuinely dangerous

How alcohol helps people avoid difficult feelings and unmet needs

The difference between honest vulnerability and blame

How sharing shame with a safe person can loosen its grip

What it means to ask for what is needed and let go of the outcome

How to respond when honesty is met with judgment or used as a weapon

Why real connection requires the risk of being seen

This conversation is a reminder that vulnerability does not guarantee the response someone hopes for. Sometimes it creates closeness, sometimes it reveals who is safe, and sometimes it simply allows a person to stop bearing the weight of their truth alone.

What is something that was terrifying to say out loud - and what happened when it was finally said?

Learn more about No Alcohol Needed, coaching, and our recovery community at https://noalcoholneeded.net.

---

Chapters

00:00:00 Speaking Up to Family

00:02:05 Why Vulnerability Feels Risky

00:14:44 Childhood Lessons About Emotion

00:29:29 Courageous Conversations

00:46:11 Vulnerability Versus Blame

00:57:48 When Honesty Gets Weaponized

01:03:23 Self-Worth and Safe People

We're doing something a little different for this season finale.

Before we take our annual summer break, Julie and Steve sit down for an honest conversation about what's been happening behind the scenes, the lessons life has been teaching lately, and what it means to truly practice life instead of just moving through it.

In this episode, we talk about:

One of the biggest themes that kept showing up throughout this conversation was this:

You don't have to have life figured out to fully participate in it.

Thank you for spending another season with us. Whether you've listened to one episode or all of them, we're grateful you're here.

We'll be taking a break from releasing new episodes over the summer, but you can still connect with us through our Monday night Zoom meetings, newsletters, and social media.

Stay in touch with us:

👉 Join our free weekly Zoom support group (safe, supportive, not AA):

👉 Private, individual coaching: