When the chef, writer and filmmaker Eddie Huang joined the “Modern Love” podcast to discuss his new novel, “Come Undone,” our host Anna Martin asked him to start by reading a few lines from his 2017 guest essay for The New York Times. In it, Huang called out stereotypical portrayals of Asian men that have persisted in pop culture: “Every Asian American man knows what the dominant culture has to say about us,” Huang read. “We count good, we bow well … our male anatomy is the size of a thumb drive and we could never in a thousand millenniums be a threat to steal your girl.” 

Rereading his old piece took Huang right back to his childhood, to when he was targeted by kids who assumed he was an easy mark. Huang said he created a tough exterior in response, becoming someone whom no one wanted to pick a fight with. That tough kid grew up into a tough man who rarely let his sensitive inner self show, a persona that sounds a lot like the main character of Huang’s new book. 

In this episode, Huang explains how he is both similar to and different from his fictional character, how his own ideas of masculinity have changed and what it was like to finally let himself be vulnerable with someone after years of pretending not to be.

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