Some books change the way we see. Rhonda Roorda's In Their Own Voices did that for countless adoptive families, including our own here at ETC. In this episode, Rhonda returns to walk us through her debut memoir, Torn from the Root, and the four questions at its center: who was going to get hurt, what was it going to cost, who would be held accountable, and what hope could there be for repair. It is a tender, unflinching conversation about transracial adoption, the voice of the child within, and what it really takes to belong.

Listener-care note: this episode includes honest discussion of trauma, abuse, and mental health within the context of transracial adoption.

In this episode

Why Rhonda turned the lens on her own story after decades of documenting others, and what it meant to listen to the little girl within her

The four questions from her memoir that frame the whole conversation

The history most adoptive families never hear, from the 1970 National Association of Black Social Workers statement to the research that shaped current policy

How everyday language and labels shape a child's sense of identity and worth

The difference between celebrating a child's culture and simply living near it

A family "blueprint" approach to belonging, where every member is honored and advocated for

What repair actually requires, starting with an honest audit of ourselves

How nurture, in ETC terms, shows up in our words, our attention, and our follow-through

Resources

Torn from the Root: A Memoir of a Black Transracial Adoptee by Rhonda M. Roorda (Temple University Press). Pre-order available now, releasing July 2026.

In Their Own Voices, In Their Parents' Voices, and In Their Siblings' Voices, the landmark trilogy Rhonda co-authored with Dr. Rita J. Simon

In Their Voices: Black Americans on Transracial Adoption, Rhonda's award-winning solo work

Rhonda M. Roorda's website: https://rhondamroorda.com

Context referenced in the episode: the 1970 National Association of Black Social Workers position on transracial adoption, and the Multi-Ethnic Placement Act of 1994 with the Interethnic Adoption Provisions of 1996

You said it would be the last warning. You meant it this time. And somehow you are standing in the hallway with your voice raised, wondering how you ended up here again. If consequences have quietly become your first move, and you are starting to suspect they are not actually working, this conversation is for you.

What we cover in this episode

Why a consequence is so often the first thing we reach for, and what that reach is usually really about

What a quick consequence shuts down: the curiosity, the teaching, and your child's chance to learn what to do instead

The difference between a punishment mindset and a loving limits mindset, and how each one handles power

How the Faris and Ottinger homes actually deal with mistakes now, including the "consequence" the Faris’s friends could not believe was real

Small, doable first steps if you want to lean on consequences less, starting with one question you can ask yourself in the moment

Resources mentioned

Cultivate Connection (the on-demand parenting course where the Collaboration module lives): https://empoweredtoconnect.shop/products/cultivate-connection-on-demand

Connecting Practices Handbook (ideas for giving voice, choices, and compromises): https://empoweredtoconnect.shop/products/connecting-practices-handbook-ebook

Summer is here, and Jesse and Tona are keeping it real: they love summer, and it also asks a lot of them. In this episode, they sit down (virtually, because summer pivots happen to hosts too) to talk honestly about what it actually feels like to parent through the loss of structure — and what it can look like to find your footing in the middle of the season.

They cover everything from the emotional load working parents carry when school lets out, to practical ideas for younger kids and teenagers alike. Whether your summer is high-energy or gloriously low-key, this conversation is a permission slip to stop trying to curate someone else's summer and start trusting your own.

In this episode:

Why summer can feel like something you have to survive even when you love it

The difference between structure and rigidity — and why predictable rhythms matter for kids

Practical, low-cost ideas for younger kids

The "summer of ___" concept for kids & teenagers

Boredom tolerance as a regulation skill — and what to do when your child genuinely can't self-entertain

Resources & Mentions:

ETC Summer Survival Kit

Use Scaffolding - Free downloadable, Podcast Episode 90 & Episode 147, and we just wrote about this in our newest ETC Newsletter!

The Lazy Genius Collective / Kendra Adachi

Inside Out 2 (the character Ennui)

Why do kids lie, even when the truth would have been easier? This week, we’re replaying an oldie but a goodie: Let's Talk About Lying with Robyn Gobbel. Lying is usually about fear and felt safety, not character. This one will change how you respond.

Catch the replay! Mona is a Pediatric Psychologist and the author of Beyond Behaviors, among several other books. If you've ever read Beyond Behaviors, you know how brilliant she is! In this episode, we talk about the Brain - Body - Behavior connection and why it is absolutely essential for parents and caregivers to understand. Struggling with perplexing behavior in your home? This may be the episode you've been waiting for. We also talk about Mona's book that was published in 2022.

Wanna learn more from Mona? Buy her book Beyond Behaviors here, sign up for the Beyond Behaviors course Mona teaches here or head on over to her website to learn more about her there!

Episode 237 is live! ️

If someone you love is in the middle of a new placement (whether that's a newborn, a toddler, or a teenager), this one is for the people standing beside them.

Tona, Becca, and Jesse get practical about what it actually looks like to show up well for foster and adoptive families. Not just in the first week, but in the long haul.

What's the most meaningful thing someone did for you (or that you did for someone else) during a new placement?

Community can feel different when your parenting journey looks different. Sometimes your circle shifts. Sometimes it shrinks. And sometimes it stretches you in ways you didn’t expect.

But here’s what’s true: you are not the only one figuring it out as you go. Ask for help. Say the honest thing. Find people who truly get it, and hold onto the ones who love you even when they don’t fully understand.

Your community might not look how you imagined, but it can still show up for you, support you, and grow with you.

To learn more about Empowered to Connect, check out our website, follow us on social media and YouTube!

In this episode Becca, Jesse, and Tona walk us through what it looked like for them at the beginning of their parenting journey. Starting foster care, adoption, or any new parenting role can feel disorienting and overwhelming. It won’t always feel natural or easy, and you may not feel an instant connection. That’s normal! There will be stress, uncertainty, and moments where you question yourself, but that doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. What matters most is showing up consistently, being willing to learn, and creating a sense of felt safety over time. You don’t have to be perfect to make a real difference. Your steadiness and presence is what builds trust.

To learn more about Empowered to Connect, check out our website, follow us on social media and YouTube!

Let’s talk about the “Wall Between Us”, the invisible, protective bricks we build from past hurt that quietly block connection with the people we love most. Our snapping, withdrawing, overreacting, and people-pleasing once protected us. But what if they’re now keeping us stuck? Healing doesn’t start with fixing our kids. It starts with noticing our own “shark music;” noticing what is keeping us from connection.

This conversation is about compassion over shame. Curiosity over judgment. And small, daily shifts that break generational cycles. Every brick you take down builds something better for the next generation.

To learn more about Empowered to Connect, check out our website, follow us on social media and YouTube!

What if connection is one of the most powerful tools in the classroom?

In this episode, Marti Smith and Amie Huggins join us to share about their new book The Connected Classroom and what they’ve learned working with educators inside real school systems. They talk about why building trust with students matters so much—and how connection creates the safety kids need to engage, learn, and grow.

If you’re a teacher, caregiver, or anyone who cares about helping kids thrive at school, this conversation offers practical encouragement and hope for creating classrooms where students feel safe, seen, and ready to learn.

To learn more about Empowered to Connect, check out our website, follow us on social media and YouTube!

Suppoort Amie and Marti by ordering their book.  https://a.co/d/098ZnA1F

To reach Amie, check out the information below.

Website:  www.amiehugginsconsulting.com

Email: [email protected]

Instagram: teacher_amie49

To reach out to Marti, check out the information below.

Website: www.creativetherapies.com