Emsolation

Are we recovering from our 2nd Birthday Extravaganza? Indeed we are. Is this a recap episode? Well kinda sorta, but it also has fresh shiny new things as well. So let’s get the recap stuff out the way, we give you all the highlights from our most listened to episode in our 2 year history. So expect maximum 365 DNI/Days recapping, huzzah for added wang chat. Then we offer up the fresh and shiny new things, like a chat with hilarious comedian Geraldine Hickey, where we talk Em and Geraldine’s mutual love of bins and birds and so much more. Finally we also offer up Michael Lucas personally reading his forward from Em’s book Try Hard. It’s our birthday and we’ll gush if we want to, so get some cake and get your listens in, and huzzah to you for helping us shine, we love you LOTS.

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Strap yourselves in Emsolators because we are stuffed to the brim and wandering all over the shop. This episode features the Gold Coast, super spreader events, Formula 1, hectic pottery chat, peeps turning on our smirking PM, a human octopus prediction, Grammy Award realness, and even Michael singing more Barbra Streisand for us. There’s also some on point advice in our intro, plus the full reveal on the slow nod reference in our title isn’t revealed until the very end.

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It’s the one thing you’ve all been waiting to hear. No not Em and Michael’s thoughts on that Oscar slap between Will Smith and Chris Rock, but yes you will hear ALL their thoughts on the Academy Awards, plus there’s the heavy breathing of Season 2 of Bridgerton to cover off. However the one thing we know you’ve all been waiting to hear is the big reveal on the secret Em teased in last week’s episode. Is it a Eurovision hosting gig or a judging slot on RuPauls Drag Race? You’ll finally find out inside.

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We did have other options for the episode title this week, in fact ‘The Premier’s Pecs’ even gets a shout out in the actual show but during the edit we decided some ‘Hot Ghost Sex’ would be way better. Before we get down with the ghost though, we gotta get down with the latest update on last week's vent about someone who still shan't be named or advised of his appearance in said podcast. It would seem old mate helped us get a heap of new listens and Em also won therapy, so huzzahs all round. There’s also a pinch pot pottery update and the news that Coolio hit up a community festival to sort through. Then we gotta get around the brand new South Australian Premier who’s pecs are so worth frothing over that they inspired a call for a #TopsOffTuesday from Em. There’s also a political sticker campaign that threatens to stifle Em’s ability to have her garbage removed, which opens up a full rundown on how hectic bin night really is in the Rusciano household. Finally we’ve gotta talk more about the utter campery that is ‘The Gilded Age’, the confirmation of a second season of ‘And Just Like That’ and also all the abundant wang action featured in the new series on Stan called ‘Minx’. So it’s pecs and peen and all the other camp and political stuff in between for you to enjoy at your earliest convenience, so have at it and enjoy.

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Yeah they sure do, especially when you’re high on cold and flu tablets and running on zero sleep, so keep your lips sealed and don’t be telling peeps about what goes down inside this episode or it’s sutures and needles for you. You’ll understand what that’s all about when we get into this week’s chat with Michael. After the great unload of 2022, it’s on to our Prime Minister, where we cover off whether he’s about to be toppled for the top job, his attacks on Albo’s weight loss and the terrible branding of the Women’s Network logo, we also get another dire prediction from the Unicorn of Death. In happier news there’s a brand new Disney Pixar animated movie to binge called ‘Turning Red’. It’s a coming of age fantasy comedy that Em and her family fully loved, it also happens to be written and directed by women, has an Asian lead character, and deals with puberty and menstruation. So it kind of ticks all the boxes for a female audience, but it also has universal appeal, although one male reviewer has had a sulk about it not being targeted at him, naturally we’ve got a lot to say about that too. Michael will also give us the lowdown on the Disney Pixar spat that’s currently going on. So plug in and get ready for shocking revelations, especially one involving teenage Michael and a bus trip for school. It's a joyous ride filled to pussy’s bow with things to make your ears and mind excited, so have at it and enjoy.

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How gay is it? Well we start with Em and Michael doing a deep dive on the Madonna Boot Camp that Madonna is holding to find the actor who will play her in the visual autobiography movie of her life, so Madonna. Then there’s the TV shows they’ve been watching to distract them from the state of the world right now, like the new Vikings: Valhalla show Em is into, where hot bearded men smash into each other. That’s pretty gay and it also brings up memories of Em’s love for wrestlers like Stone Cold Steve Austin who was fully doing his thing in their own versions of drag outfits. Meanwhile Michael’s all about the Young Royals show where Royals are in a boarding school and there’s a gay romance to get lost in with lots of milking of the gay angst. Finally, it’s not at all gay, but we do have a message from Emsolator Bridget who’s coming to terms with dating in her early 40’s and asking for some advice on how to deal with the feeling that kids won’t be in her future. So heaps of gay things and then some advice from your gay Uncle Michael and your equally camp Auntie Em to round things out, so take all that gaiety and shove it in your listening holes and enjoy our podcast campery.

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We are face to face, in the same room, breathing each other's air, making eye to eye contact without the help of Zoom, FINALLY! It was freakin’ ace, you had to be there obvs, thankfully you will be, because you’ll hear all about it and get our blissful happy vibes through the speakers/headphones, so HUZZAH! Lets have at it shall we. Obviously there’s heaps of meh happening around the planet right now, hopefully we can give you a moment of escape. We start with the positive news that Queen Liz is back on the mend, but there’s also the news our Prime Minister is now on the “doh I’ve got it” bandwagon too. Then there’s the hectic amount of flooding that's happening across Queensland and NSW. We're gonna focus on the helpers, it’s the perfect way to remind all of us of how amazing humans can be in moments of crisis. Then we need to talk about the situation in Ukraine and the amazing backstory of their heroic President Volodymyr Zelensky, who’s been countering Russian conspiracy theories by going live on social media, and refusing to leave his people even when offered. Naturally we’re not a news podcast so we’re more focussed on the fact that Volodymyr is close to Em and Michael’s age, he was an actor and a comedian, and he won ‘Dancing with the Stars’ in 2006. Em feels his backstory would be the equivalent of us having Grant Denyer becoming our Prime Minister, Michael feels it’s way more a Guy Sebastian scenario. Australia has clearly never had a popular celebrity comedian/actor who’s managed to successfully transition into politics, although Albo has gone luxe for a Women’s Weekly photoshoot which was enough for Em to give us a full rundown on him prepping for his spray tan for the shoot, as you do. After that we need to talk about the Melbourne premiere of the new Batman movie starring Robert Pattison and Zoe Kravitz. Em and Michael have a LOT to say about it, it’s 3 hours long, it’s directed by the guy who did ‘Planet of the Apes’, it’s the same ol’ same ol’ kind of story with Gotham and Batman and Catwoman and you know what to expect. Our focus seems to be more on the whole dramatic eyeliner thing being used to help disguise him from the general public and all the gloom that seems to dominate the film, so much so that you can’t even really see what the hell is happening on the screen. There’s also LOTS of attempts at doing the gruff Batman voice by both Em and Michael, plus all the ins and outs of what they did and didn’t enjoy on the big screen. Em thinks they might never get invited to a movie review again, we think they should be reviewing all of the movies all of the time, because this is the movie review to end ALL movie reviews, there I said it, prove me wrong (this is Ben who writes the podcast descriptions and I know I’m right hehe). Anyway all of that ends with props to RuPaul, you’ll have to listen to find out how they ended up there, it’s a ride and a half we promise. You’ll also wanna see the film after listening just to get the full effect. Finally we have the sensational news that we’re doing a live show in Melbourne with all the details on how to get your tickets first. So what are you waiting for? Start listening and stay safe out there, while we send massive poddy hugs from here.

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We are FINALLY in our new studio, although that “we” doesn’t include Em’s high school bestie and co-host Michael, he’s still phoning it in via Zoom whilst doing romantic getaway things in Tasmania with his husband Adrian, but more on that later. We start with Em being totes profesh in the surrounds of the new Emsolation office, which also means she now gets interrupted by adults instead of her toddler, hence why you get an unexpected appearance and apology from her executive producer Ben, who just decided to saunter in whilst Em was recording the shows intro. We then get a full rundown of Elio’s second attempt at a gymnastics class and the continuing saga of trying to toilet train him, unrelenting chaos seems to be the operating word throughout much of that update. Once that’s sorted, we welcome in Michael so he can get his official apology out of the way for ruining our first face to face recording in our totes adulting office/studio. Of course Em can hardly wait to update him on the new digs, highlights include discovering a garbage room with abundant bin access and meeting a local cafe owner that she's decided to name Daphne, more explain on that within, plus there’s a pottery course update too. Then we gotta talk about the news that Her Majesty has Covid. As a huge fan of everything to do with Lizzie and our official in-house Royal watcher, Em has made it her duty to find out all she can about how the Queen is coping in lockdown. We even get a visit from the Magical Unicorn of Death, although surprisingly, this time around the Unicorn is offering up a positive vibe and predicting that the Queen will be totally fine. Our usually optimistic Seahorse of Hope however, isn’t so hopeful, but then Michael isn’t much of a fan of the monarchy, so maybe he’s looking at it from a slightly less positive perspective. We follow up on Royal watch with the continuing PR extravaganza from our current Prime Minister. The last 7 days have included more election campaigning and photo ops, including some terrible OHS work involving a spot of welding, and accusations that the opposition leader is best mates with the Chinese Government, so nothing unusual there AT ALL! There’s more predictions from the Unicorn and the Seahorse and even some chat about who is the Liberal exhibiting the most humanity, as you do. Then it’s off to Hollywood for Em and Michael’s reaction to the Vanity Fair photoshoot of Nicole Kidman that every Emsolator is talking about, and we’ve gotta work through all the latest Oscar announcements, from who is hosting, to the campaign to give an Oscar to whoever gets the most tweets. Michael is not about it, but Em can’t wait to see who will win an Oscar from a hashtag, she’s even hoping some random twitter fan will be plucked from obscurity to present the award on the night too. We also do a lot of live Google work trying to work out the height and age of a variety of politicians, and we recap all of the Unicorns predictions too. So plop yourself in front of your favourite podcast listening device and press play on another episode that is as full as something that is totes overstuffed with the kind of content that leaves you feeling spent and utterly satisfied.

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Okay here’s our recording scenario this week, it’s our final episode recorded at home so we find ourselves joining Em in her wardrobe on a Zoom chat with Michael (fun fact, this is exactly how the Emsolation podcast all started, or maybe that's an obvious fact, anyway full circle and all that shit). It’s also being done late on a Tuesday night because Wednesday this week was all about Em taking time off to celebrate with her daughter Odie on her 15th birthday. Then to add to the late night record, we throw into the mix things like Elio still being awake and banging on the door, microphones not working, the need to swap to different computers 3 times, the dogs barking, PLUS tequila had been consumed as well! So who’s ready for our standard levels of hectic? Figured as much. We begin by ushering in Em’s bestie Michael so we can get the lowdown on his absence from last week's episode with food poisoning. After we’ve established that he’s farting freely and drinking coffee without any chance of embarrassingly unloading into his pants, we move on to allowing them to get their gush on about the huge Football concert that happened in America during the week. It’s already being labelled the “best ever” and whilst they hungie percent agree, they are also coming to terms with the fact that it left them both feeling old after Em’s kids referred to it as a vintage show. The nostalgia feels came thick and fast for Em and Michael as Dr Dre, Snoop Dogg, Mary J Blige and 50 Cent appeared on stage for the olds, while Kendrick Lamar rocked up to make it relevant for the kids. You’ll hear all our fave bits and what we wished we’d also seen within. Then we need to cover off the continuing shit show that is our Prime Minister’s never ending PR extravaganza as he campaigns for the election he hasn’t even announced yet. In the last week he’s given us a Karl Stefanovic chat with his wife on ‘60 Minutes’, plus he’s followed that up by suggesting forgiveness is harder to achieve from Indigenous peoples as he reflected on the 14th anniversary of Kevin Rudd giving his ‘Sorry speech’ to the nation. There’s a lot to unpack from both of those moments and even though it would appear Scott is making a bunch of bad decisions, Em is here to remind ALL of us that there’s still a chance he will secure the role of Prime Minister again. So prepare to be shook, or not. Finally we need to do a deep dive into Em and Michael’s love for ‘The Gilded Age’, a new TV series from the creators of ‘Downton Abbey’ that’s already been given a 1 star rating. If that nasty reviewer thought that their low rating might discourage the likes of Em and Michael from watching, they’ve sadly misjudged them. It’s a “10 out of 10, we love it, we hate it” scenario and they’ll tell you why it's pushing all their viewing buttons, plus give you some of the worst attempts at impersonating it’s star, Christine Baranski EVER! So chuck on your favourite flowy gown and find a set of extravagant stairs to sashay down, as you inhale another episode of the podcast that acts like it’s been living in a period drama 24/7. We do declare we are suitably excited to welcome you into our gilded mansion of chaos and hilarity, cheers lovelies.

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Full disclosure, that podcast title above is a lie, we will actually make reference within this episode to our current Prime Minister, but you can rest assured we aren’t exactly filled with any excitement or want to do it. Surprisingly, or not, the last 7 days have given us even more shocking revelations to follow on from last week’s news that people within our Government have accused Scott of being a “horrible, horrible person” and a “psycho”. In fact, it’s been such a busy week that we’ve called an expert in to help us wade through the toxic quagmire of excrement that has continued to float to the surface of politics over the last 7 days. Speaking of toxic quagmires of excrement, that sadly is the world that currently envelopes our beloved screenwriter and co-host, Mr Michael Lucas. It would seem he’s been trying to survive a nasty bout of gastro without his husband around to offer help and support. So after Em sent her daughter Chella to deliver a survival kit of flat lemonade, dry biscuits and emergency liquids for upset and dehydrated humans, we arrived at the decision that Michael should probably sit this one out. So without Michael to help breakdown the week in politics, AND…more importantly, the announcement of this year's Academy Award nominees, we had to scramble to find some temporary replacements. So to help Em navigate all the announcements of the nominees for this year's Academy Awards, we’re welcoming Em’s daughter Chella to the microphone. She loves a movie, like she’s basically seen HEAPS of them, plus she’s done research, so Chella is going to help offer up her take on who did and didn’t deserve a slot on the nominations list. It’s probably no surprise that both Em and Chella, and no doubt Michael, are all shook that Lady Gaga didn’t rate any recognition for her efforts in gifting the world the now infamous line “Father, Son and House of Gucci” as part of her role as Patrizia Reggiani in the ‘House of Gucci’ movie. After we work through that outrage, there’s Jared Leto’s Gucci performance to acknowledge again and more bad news for ‘Diana - The Musical’ to reveal. Finally we wrap with all the songs that got nominated this year and wonder if Kristen Stewart will even turn up on the big night. Then we move onto the state of play in the world of Australian politics right now. To do that we welcome back Em’s bestie and former guest, Jamila Rizvi. Jamila has a history in politics and agreed to step in to help talk through the last 7 days, which includes a superb telling of the facts so far from Em that includes a Barnaby Joyce impersonation. We also need to reflect on the amazing speeches we witnessed from Brittany Higgins and Grace Tame at the National Press Club on Wednesday with some of our favourite highlights. Jamila has so many great insights and thoughts on what is going on behind closed doors, plus Em wants to know who’s going to win as we creep closer to another election…such fun. We promise it is actually a really great chat and it delivered everything Em was hoping for, which is always an automatic win. Last, but not least, there’s more of your phone calls from the Emsolation messagebank to answer. We also promise you’ll have ‘We Don’t Talk About Bruno’ stuck in your head after listening too. It’s already stuck in there isn’t it? Figured as much…well get ready for a smidge more of that utter ear worm in your head and enjoy this truly unique and delightful episode.

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