Enneagram and Marriage

In this October special, Christa sits down with Type 4 author Sarah Skilton (pen name Hadley Hartwell) to explore the intersection of the Enneagram and motives, namely using the Enneagram to solve a mystery. Sarah has been studying the Enneagram since 1998 and brings that depth and careful study to her debut novel "One Is the Deadliest Number," which kicks off a nine-book series - one for each type. They discuss what it's like for a Four to write from a Type One perspective, how Sarah's 4-6 marriage informs her understanding of different personality dynamics, and why Miss Marple's knowledge of human nature is essentially Enneagram wisdom in action. Most importantly, they explore what happens when people don't do their inner work - and how recognizing the warning signs in ourselves and our loved ones can prevent our worst from coming out. Whether you're a mystery lover, an Enneagram enthusiast, or simply curious about human nature, this episode offers fresh insights into why understanding personality types matters for relationships and life.

GIVEAWAY: Sarah is giving away 9 copies of her book "One Is the Loneliest Number" - one for each Enneagram type! The first person to email from each type wins. Plus, the very first person to write in will be our grand prize winner and receive the book, a Supper Sleuths mystery dinner game, AND a couples Enneagram pairing guide.

❤️❤️❤️ To Enter the Contest: Email [email protected] (or reply if you're on our newsletter) with your Enneagram type and your favorite mystery book, movie, or show!

More show links:

The EnneaSummit on MidLife and Beyond is here! Sign up free ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or for ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠the upgraded plan here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠: https://www.tylerzach.com/midlife/enneasummit?ref=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tylerzach.com%2Fa%2F2148178305%2FLS2nNmzL

Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Join Christa for a powerful conversation with author Alexandra Hudson about her new book "You Can Let Go: Make Peace with Your Past, Break Free from Offense, and Move Forward with God." Alexandra, an Enneagram 8, shares her journey of learning to release offense and bitterness, even when the hurt was real and justified. This deep conversation explores how holding onto offense keeps us stuck, why forgiveness is more about God's offering to us and for our freedom than excusing others' behavior, and practical steps for making peace with your past so you can move forward in your relationships. Alexandra offers wisdom for couples navigating past hurts, family betrayals, and ongoing tensions, showing how letting go isn't weakness but the path to true strength and peace. Perfect for anyone carrying the weight of unresolved offense or struggling to move forward after betrayal or disappointment. Watch on YouTube!

Get Alexandra's book here! https://a.co/d/9K1Mdde

Find Alexandra on her website here! (Pre-order bonuses today only!)

Find Alexandra on her Instagram here! https://www.instagram.com/p/DOqlTUJEflP/

More show links:

The EnneaSummit on MidLife and Beyond is here! Sign up free ⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠ or for ⁠⁠⁠⁠the upgraded plan here⁠⁠⁠⁠: https://www.tylerzach.com/midlife/enneasummit?ref=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tylerzach.com%2Fa%2F2148178305%2FLS2nNmzL

Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Leave Christa a podcast question anonymously by sending an MP4 recording to [email protected].

Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Join Christa and marriage coach Michelle Purta for an essential conversation about nonviolent communication and rediscovering joy in marriage. Michelle, an Enneagram 2 married to a 5, shares her journey from relationships filled with more arguing than connecting to building the marriage she has today. She teaches the PEACE Method along with practical skills for communicating needs without blame, fighting in ways that strengthen rather than tear apart your relationship, and how different Enneagram types (especially the Helper married to the Investigator) can navigate conflict with compassion. Michelle unpacks nonviolent communication principles and how they transform everyday interactions, helping moms move from resentment and burnout to genuine connection. Perfect for anyone who wants to learn how to express needs, handle conflict constructively, and create a marriage filled with more tears of happiness than frustration. Watch on YouTube!

Follow Michelle at these links:

Find Michelle on her website here! https://www.michellepurta.com/

Find Michelle on her Instagram here! https://www.instagram.com/michellepurtacoaching/?hl=en

Find Michelle at The Marriage and Motherhood Podcast here! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-marriage-motherhood-podcast/id1616955820

Take the Enneagram & Marriage Podcast survey here!

More show links:

The EnneaSummit on MidLife and Beyond is here! Sign up free ⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠ or for ⁠⁠⁠the upgraded plan here⁠⁠⁠: https://www.tylerzach.com/midlife/enneasummit?ref=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tylerzach.com%2Fa%2F2148178305%2FLS2nNmzL

Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Leave Christa a podcast question anonymously by sending an MP4 recording to [email protected].

Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Join Christa and Melody for a fun, insightful conversation about Taylor Swift's "The Life of a Showgirl" album and what it teaches us about celebrating joy in relationships. Inspired by Taylor's New Heights podcast appearance and her approach to happiness with cautious discretion, Christa and Melody go track-by-track through the album, exploring themes of authenticity. and growth in the ways of love. They discuss the Enneagram's role in how different types respond to their spouse's joy, the courage it takes to be genuinely happy publicly, and why the best marriages have space for both partners to reach new heights. Perfect for Taylor Swift fans, Enneagram enthusiasts, and anyone wanting to build a relationship that celebrates growth rather than fears it. Watch on YouTube here!

If you want a deeper dive into this album, check out this series that Mara Eller, Type 4 (4-7 pairing) is doing. She’s been teaching literature and writing at the high school and college level for over 16 years, and now she’s doing a literary analysis of TLOAS as if it’s a novel, going deep into each song in context of the album as a whole. You can find it on TikTok, Instagram, or Threads, and very soon it will also be a podcast: LIT112 — The Life of a Showgirl.

Find her here!

 https://www.instagram.com/mara.eller/

https://www.tiktok.com/@maraellerwriter

https://www.threads.com/@mara.eller

The EnneaSummit on MidLife and Beyond is here! Sign up free ⁠⁠here⁠⁠ or for ⁠⁠the upgraded plan here⁠⁠: https://www.tylerzach.com/midlife/enneasummit?ref=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tylerzach.com%2Fa%2F2148178305%2FLS2nNmzL

Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Leave Christa a podcast question anonymously by sending an MP4 recording to [email protected].

Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Ever share a vulnerable request with your spouse and get nothing back? Feel like you’re the only one initiating, planning, or keeping the spark alive? In this midweek mini, we explore the exhausting dynamic of “auditioning” in relationships - whether with partners, friends, or family. Learn how your Enneagram type and instinctual variant create different relationship needs, why anxious attachment patterns and a strong sexual instinct can make us work overtime for connection. We also share practical tips for protecting your energy without shutting down and without overwhelming your partner. If you've ever felt like you’re performing for connection rather than experiencing it, this episode is for you! Watch on YouTube!

The wonderful and inspiring Soul on Fire Movie airs this weekend with some of our E + M community as extras and friends of those in the true story! Award winning cast and great message! ⁠Check it out here!⁠ ⁠https://soulonfiremovie.com/⁠

The EnneaSummit on MidLife and Beyond is here! Sign up free ⁠here⁠ or for ⁠the upgraded plan here⁠: https://www.tylerzach.com/midlife/enneasummit?ref=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tylerzach.com%2Fa%2F2148178305%2FLS2nNmzL

Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Leave Christa a podcast question anonymously by sending an MP4 recording to [email protected].

Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Do you feel like this world is spinning out of control and taking your marriage and/or family with it? We've been talking about how to balance our family at a healthier pace lately on the pod and today we're so happy to have the highly influential couple, The Whole of Us, Kelsey and Tom Wauchope of Australia (1-4 pairing) help us process how to do just that. From the vulnerable space of sharing their own story of burnout and anger at one another (and the hero victim saga we can get wrapped up in) to peace and deep love to the work they're doing with others, this is one episode you don't want to miss for anything! Watch on YouTube here!

Meet Kelsey and Tom on their website here! https://thewholeofus.com/

Meet Kelsey, Tom, and their family journey over the world on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/thewholeofus/?hl=en

The wonderful and inspiring Soul on Fire Movie airs this weekend with some of our E + M community as extras and friends of those in the true story! Award winning cast and great message! Check it out here! https://soulonfiremovie.com/

The EnneaSummit on MidLife and Beyond is here! Sign up free here or for the upgraded plan here: https://www.tylerzach.com/midlife/enneasummit?ref=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tylerzach.com%2Fa%2F2148178305%2FLS2nNmzL

Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Leave Christa a podcast question anonymously by sending an MP4 recording to [email protected].

Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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What do you do when AI infiltrates your marriage? When you and your spouse are talking to ChatGPT more than each other, it becomes a problem, but that's not the only way tech is taking from our relationships. Find out how you have recover your relationships in the real world in this episode with Christa Hardin, as featured on Amy Wicks' Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast, which we're sharing on our mid-week episode today! Watch on YouTube!

Listen to/watch Amy Wicks at Wholehearted! https://www.simplywholehearted.com/ and https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/simply-wholehearted/id1216920050

See other research pieces for this episode:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/washington-post-live/global-ai-summit-2025/Read referenced articles on AI

here!https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2025/04/03/artificial-intelligence-in-daily-life-views-and-experiences/

https://www.nu.edu/blog/ai-statistics-trends/

https://builtin.com/artificial-intelligence/risks-of-artificial-intelligence dangers

https://www.unicef.org/innocenti/generative-ai-risks-and-opportunities-children

https://techcrunch.com/2025/07/21/72-of-u-s-teens-have-used-ai-companions-study-finds/

Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠

Leave Christa a podcast question anonymously by sending an MP4 recording to [email protected].

Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Find Heather's website and all of her goodies and freebies here! https://www.mylifewellloved.com/

Find Heather's very popular Instagram here!

Find Heather's podcast here!

Watch on YouTube here!

Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠

Leave Christa a podcast question anonymously by sending an MP4 recording to [email protected].

Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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AI is novel and it seems to be here to stay, but what good (or bad) is it doing for your kids? We love tacking this topic with a research base, but we also want and need to drive forward with actual human connection. We get to do just that in this episode with Hannah Hardin, Type 4 today, as she discusses what it's like as a Gen Z tackling the issue of AI in classrooms, on social media, finding identity off social media, and so much more in this short but essential episode. Join us for tips and connection right here! Watch on YouTube!

Follow Hannah over at the Artist and the Clay here! https://www.instagram.com/theartistandtheclay/

Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠

Leave Christa a podcast question anonymously by sending an MP4 recording to [email protected].

Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Most couples are on their phones incessantly, with an average number of individuals touching their devices over 2500 times a day on average (Business Insider). We need to reduce this number, but also work with reality, and using the right kind of media can truly help, and in some instances, even deep in your connection if you’re truly thoughtful. Today Christa is joined for an inspiring conversation with Aly Bullock (Type 378, Relationships with Aly), Relationship Head at the #1 app for couples, the Paired App, and today we're having a riveting conversation as we discuss ways couples can connect with love and vulnerability when they use tech to collaborate in a meaningful way. Learn from her real life examples both on air here as well as on her social media following below which has a combined almost 1 million followers watching her tips via video, along with the Paired App. Don’t wait to connect as we finally find ways to use tech in a relational way! Watch on YouTube here!

Get the Paired App here with a special 25% off the first year for our listeners and a 7 Day Free Trial of the Upgraded Version   https://www.paired.com/partners/alypodcast?utm_source=influencers&utm_medium=paid_influencer&utm_campaign=alypodcast&utm_term=podcast!

Follow Aly's account here! https://www.instagram.com/relationshipswithaly/reels/

Follow the Paired App on Instagram for tips here! https://www.instagram.com/pairedapp/?hl=en

Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠

Leave Christa a podcast question anonymously by sending an MP4 recording to [email protected].

Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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