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In this pivotal conflict solution focused episode, Christa breaks down the 4-step apology framework that actually works (spoiler: it's not just saying "I'm sorry") and shows how each Enneagram type sabotages repair when they're stuck in their stress pattern. Together we joyfully walk through where each type goes under stress during conflict, from various caves and caverns on the mountain, we get ourselves stuck in as we're drowning in our stress numbers. This episode teaches you how to turn your stress arrow into your secondary growth arrow of sorts so conflict becomes reparative instead of destructive. If you've ever wondered why the same fight keeps happening or why your apologies don't land, this episode will show you exactly what's blocking repair and how to fix it. Plus, Christa gets personal about being a 7 who goes to 1 in stress and what she's learned about climbing out of idealism continually. Don't miss! Watch on YouTube!
Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! www.EnneagramandMarriage.com
Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too here!
Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! https://a.co/d/df8SxVx
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
More often than not, couples are just tired - there is so much to do, plus so much conflict to work through. What do you do when you and your spouse are too emotionally drained for another big conversation? Discover simple repair moves, easy, low-hanging fruit solutions, and permission to take breaks from heavy processing. Learn one quick tip for each Enneagram type plus five easy ways to reconnect when you're running on empty. This is an E + M mini you don't want to miss! Watch on YouTube!
Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! www.EnneagramandMarriage.com
Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too here!
Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! https://a.co/d/df8SxVx
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Today, we get practical with Type 8 counselor duo Chris Bruno and Tracy Johnson from ReStory Counseling and the Thrive Marriage Lab Podcast to talk about marriage conflict. Chris is a Licensed Professional Counselor specializing in men and masculinity, sexual addiction, trauma, and abuse, while Tracy is a storywork coach who sits with people in their untold stories, specializing in trauma, abuse, sexuality, marriage issues, and pregnancy loss. Together, they help couples discover the why behind the what in their marriage, and here they discuss the levels of conflict, why communication issues often stem from deeper emotional stories, how conflict reveals the landscape of your heart, and why understanding your narratives can enhance your marital connection. Chris and Tracy explain their ReStory approach: they don't settle for external behavior change or hand out tips and techniques. Instead, they hold out hope for true life-change that comes from heart-change. This conversation is about moving beyond surface-level communication problems to understand what your conflict is really revealing about your story, your wounds, and the restoration God wants to bring to your marriage.
Find out more about ReStory here!
Use the code ENNEAGRAMMARRIAGE for $20 EVERY Month of the Monthly Membership Group here! https://www.restory.life/thrive
Restory for Men, Women, and Couples, https://www.restory.life/
Find the Thrive Marriage Lab Podcast here! https://thrivemarriage.transistor.fm/
Restory for Churches https://www.restory.life/restory-for-churches
Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! www.EnneagramandMarriage.com
Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too here!
Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! https://a.co/d/df8SxVx
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
In this month's new series, we're talking about conflict all month, and we're going to work at it together! Here today, we can discover together how the three Enneagram harmony groups approach conflict differently in terms of their worldview on a bigger picture scope before we get more granular. Learn how 147 Idealists can critically fight from their lofty principles, how 258 Relational/Rejection/Intensity types battle from the emotional middle ground, and how 369 Resourcing/Grounded types get caught up in the practical chaos as they try to resource everyone well. This episode is critical as a baseline for understanding your spouse's conflict style and finding your way to healthier disagreements.
Take the Enneagram & Marriage quiz for COUPLES together here:
QuizForCouples.com
Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! www.EnneagramandMarriage.com
Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too here!
Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! https://a.co/d/df8SxVx
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Christa sits down with Randi Zuckerberg, entrepreneur, Social 7, and elite ultrarunner who recently set an FKT on the 82-mile Baja Sur trail and finished the wildly difficult 250-mile Cocodona race. Randi opens up on this month's final family systems episode about being more than "Mark Zuckerberg's sister", "Brent's wife", and mom, and becoming unapologetically and authentically her own person. As she moved from just type 7 encourager sideline energy to digging deep for her own purposes and goals too (she also has some 3), she also shares the deep threads of joy and empowerment that were released for her and her family as she's stepped fully into her own identity, strength, and path. Christa and Randi discuss the types that encourage Randi along the way (hello side character power!), what she'd say to parents who think their own life is over after kids, how she transitioned from corporate life at Facebook with all men to finding her (winning) path, and so much more! Randi also shares her hardest setback with injuries, how she works through challenges without losing joy (hello pivots!), what balance looks like across seasons, and what she hopes her kids learn from watching her do hard, seemingly impossible things.
This conversation is about identity, growth, energy, becoming a solid person even as a 7 who is learning to finish things, and becoming more fully who you are.
As Christa wraps up the Family Systems series this month, Randi's story offers a real and hopeful example of waking up to your own gifts even when the world already has a label for you, and is perfect for anyone who has ever been labeled in a family system who needs a fresh spark and encouragement. Watch on YouTube!
Follow Randi's adventures here on Threads and Instagram!
@RandiZuckerberg on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/randizuckerberg/?hl=en
@RandiZuckerberg on Threads
https://www.threads.com/@randizuckerberg
Take the Enneagram & Marriage quiz for COUPLES together here: QuizForCouples.com
Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! www.EnneagramandMarriage.com
Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too here!
Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! https://a.co/d/df8SxVx
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
What happens when you realize your family's version of "normal" wasn't actually healthy? Whether conflict meant someone stormed out and didn't speak for days or big emotions were shut down with "you're fine" or "stop crying, or even that maybe family problems were swept under the rug and never discussed, today we're talking about how you're looking at your own children and engaging with them around healthy communication in the family system. This episode is for the cycle breakers (you!) - the parents who are determined to create the family culture they wished they'd grown up in. Learn practical strategies for teaching emotional regulation when you didn't learn it yourself, how to validate your children's feelings when yours were dismissed, and simple daily shifts that rewrite (or build upon if you had a great upbringing) your family's legacy story as you get tools to actually break the patterns and give your kids what you never had. Watch here on YouTube!
Take the Enneagram & Marriage quiz for COUPLES together here: QuizForCouples.com
Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! www.EnneagramandMarriage.com
Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too here!
Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! https://a.co/d/df8SxVx
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Christa has a special guest fave on the show today, her husband Wes, Enneagram Type 1 as she dives into something new she and the E + M team created together: a couples Enneagram quiz. Today Christa and Wes share some of their inherent differences they saw on the fun DC E + M adventure they just took, and discuss how they compassionately dealt with them too, as they applied family systems differentiation and Enneagram to their relationship aspirations as well. This quiz will help you learn about how your types correlate and connect, too! Built specifically for relationships, you can take this Enneagram test FREE at QuizForCouples.com Your results tell you your type AND your spouse's type, gives you personalized strengthening areas for your couple dynamic, and we would LOVE your feedback as you take it. Watch the episode on YouTube here!
Christa uploaded her most clarifying E+M content to build the system, using language from her community and focusing on deep motivations rather than surface behaviors and we invite listeners to take the quiz together at the same time, first one and then the other!
CONTEST WINNERS: Congrats also to our two contest winners: Dana from the E+M contest and Melanie from Supper Sleuths!!
Take the Enneagram & Marriage quiz for COUPLES together here: QuizForCouples.com
Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! www.EnneagramandMarriage.com
Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too here!
Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! https://a.co/d/df8SxVx
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Today, Christa helps you explore the crucial difference between the family systems concepts of emotional cutoff and healthy boundaries in family relationships. Learn why going completely silent often creates more problems than it solves, how cutoff patterns affect your marriage, and when boundaries might be a better (and even better for your nervous system) solution! Discover a simple repair framework for addressing family conflict without resorting to low blows, but also discern when cutoff might actually be necessary for safety! Listen here to this do-not-miss episode!! Watch on YouTube here!
Show notes:
CONTEST ALERT: We’re doing a St. Patrick’s Day week contest, too! Email your fave St. Patrick's day story to [email protected] for a chance to win a FREE copy of The Enneagram in Marriage or another of Christa’s books!
Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! www.EnneagramandMarriage.com
Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too here!
Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! https://a.co/d/df8SxVx
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Listener-favorite and couples therapist Shane Birkel (host of The Couple Therapist Couch podcast) is back! Though last time Shane talked about how men can be strong but soft, this episode tackles the other side of the #1 issue Christa is seeing with couples these days: women who have learned to use their voice but how now she is coming across abrasively in a way that hurts versus helps in their marriage. This is specifically about tone, delivery, and how empowerment can accidentally create new imbalances. Shane shares the techniques he uses with his couples to help wives recalibrate without going back to silence, and husbands re-engage without shutting down. We cover personal anecdotes, family systems dynamics between husband and wife, and practical tools for finding the healthy path between silenced and too strong. If you've been told you're "too much" or if your spouse has shut down since you found your voice, this episode is for you. Watch on YouTube here!
Show links:
Find Shane on his podcast, the Couples Therapist Couch Podcast here https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/
Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! www.EnneagramandMarriage.com
Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too here!
Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! https://a.co/d/df8SxVx
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Ever wonder why your body still tenses around certain family members even after years of therapy or spiritual formation? Today we explore a topic Christa works on as well, and explore the difference between cognitive safety and somatic safety - why your nervous system keeps reacting even when your mind has moved on. Learn three simple body-based practices you can use before, during, and after family interactions, plus quick nervous system tips specific to your Enneagram type. Discover why proximity affects your nervous system regardless of forgiveness, and get permission to love someone from a healthy distance. Watch on YouTube!
Show links:
Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! www.EnneagramandMarriage.com
Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too here!
Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! https://a.co/d/df8SxVx
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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