Not By Accident

Ep 3: Donor Deliberations


Listen Later

One day, soon after I left school, my mother told me that she wanted me to have a baby one day and she didn’t care how I did it, even if I did it alone, as long as I did it. I was a bit taken aback. Of course I’d have a baby one day. I’d always known I would.  I imagined I’d do it the way school girls imagine they’ll do it: I’d fall in love with a man, he’d fall in love with me, and the family would naturally follow. It took me another decade to come out. I got cancer and faced my own mortality. My mum almost died too. Things came sharply into focus and I realized as we both went into remission, this was no way to live the rest of my precious life. Very soon after, I made a weekend trip to come out to my parents. A huge weight lifted. It seems crazy that it took so much for me to be comfortable being who I am, but for some reason it did. The thing I felt saddest about letting go of was the idea of creating a baby, biologically, with a person I was in love with and for us to be a family. Eventually I decided the end the best option was a sperm bank. After thinking about it for 8 years, it was an easy decision to make. The clinic gave me a list. Checking out their profiles was a lot like internet dating, but of course they didn’t have to choose me back.  I wanted some input. My mother obliged. It would be my decision, but I was happy not to make it all on my own.    Not By Accident is made by me, Sophie Harper. Thanks to my family, my friends and my daughter for allowing me to record, and for the practical and moral support. Please subscribe, rate and review to help the series find more listeners. Go to notbyaccident.net to sign up to my occasional email newsletter, tweet at me @byaccidentnot and if you know anyone who might like to listen, please share! Music from freemusicarchive.org - CC NC License: Murmur by Broke For Free; One And by Broke For Free; Our Ego (Feat. Different Visitor) by Broke For Free; Pattern 4 (Version 10) by Cyan341; Seeing The Future by Dexter Britain.
US listeners, support the series and eat well. Hello Fresh Has signed on to support me for 2017! Sign up at www.hellofresh.com and use the promo code 'noaccident35' to get $35 off your first delivery. Everybody wins!
Go to www.notbyaccident.net to find out more about the series or to get in touch.
...more
View all episodesView all episodes
Download on the App Store

Not By AccidentBy Sophie Harper

  • 4.6
  • 4.6
  • 4.6
  • 4.6
  • 4.6

4.6

749 ratings


More shows like Not By Accident

View all
Savage Lovecast by Dan Savage

Savage Lovecast

6,151 Listeners

The Moth by The Moth

The Moth

27,325 Listeners

The Longest Shortest Time by Hillary Frank | Realm

The Longest Shortest Time

4,086 Listeners

Death, Sex & Money by Slate Podcasts

Death, Sex & Money

7,701 Listeners

No Filter by Mamamia Podcasts

No Filter

595 Listeners

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled by JLML Press

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled

3,666 Listeners

The Birth Hour - A Birth Story Podcast by Bryn Huntpalmer

The Birth Hour - A Birth Story Podcast

2,155 Listeners

Australian Birth Stories by Sophie Walker

Australian Birth Stories

184 Listeners

Ladies, We Need To Talk by ABC listen

Ladies, We Need To Talk

340 Listeners

Love Letters by The Boston Globe

Love Letters

1,313 Listeners

She's On The Money by Victoria Devine

She's On The Money

149 Listeners

Raising Good Humans by Dear Media, Aliza Pressman

Raising Good Humans

1,868 Listeners

Beyond the Bump by Sophie Pearce & Jayde Couldwell

Beyond the Bump

93 Listeners

The Great Birth Rebellion by Dr Melanie Jackson

The Great Birth Rebellion

73 Listeners

Raising Parents with Emily Oster by The Free Press

Raising Parents with Emily Oster

668 Listeners