In the latest episode of the Thrive by Design podcast, I had an inspiring conversation with Kristina Mand-Lahkiani, author of the empowering book, Becoming Flawesome. 

Kristina is also the co-founder of Mindvalley, the renowned personal development platform. Together, we explored the path to self-love and how it can transform your life.

How we learn to be self-critical

From a very young age, we are told that to succeed, we have to work on our weaknesses and mistakes. Kristina shared an example of what she calls the red marker technique, which goes like this… 

You write an essay, and your teacher takes a red marker and points out all of your mistakes, gives it back to you, and says, ‘Work on your mistakes, then you'll be a success.’ 

This is a common paradigm in society, that reinforces our pattern of always looking for what’s wrong and then trying to fix it. But there’s another, less popular paradigm called the green marker technique. 

In this scenario, the teacher takes your essay and highlights everything you did really well, gives it back to you, and says, ‘Work on your strengths, and that's how you will succeed.’ Our society typically doesn’t work this way, but imagine if it did.

Reinforcing Our Beliefs

There is scientific evidence that if you believe in something, you're going to notice the evidence of that belief. The reticular activating system in your brain filters out the stimuli because you can't register everything. So instead, you notice what you focus on. And that's how our beliefs get reinforced. 

In addition to learning how to be self-aware, Kristina talks about:

• The impact of our beliefs and how they shape our reality

• The importance of self-awareness and its role in personal growth

• The dark side of personal development

• The key skills for self-love: honesty, kindness, and courage

• The dangers of narcissism and spiritual bypassing

• And so much more!

If you’re like many artists and jewelry designers and you struggle with self-criticism, today’s episode is a must-listen. I guarantee you'll find it relatable and inspiring. 

Embrace your flawsome self and dive into the powerful conversation about self-love. Trust me, you're going to love it!

Here are the resources mentioned in the show:

Becoming Flawesome Book

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