We’re thrilled to bring you this heartfelt and hilarious conversation with Dave Tarnowski—author, creative force behind the Instagram phenomenon Disappointing Affirmations, and the man redefining self-help with a dose of sharp wit and raw honesty. With over 2.5 million followers, Dave’s take on mental health, neurodivergence, grief, and healing resonates deeply—and this episode is no exception.

Together, we explore Dave’s late-in-life diagnoses of bipolar disorder and ADHD, his journey through therapy, sobriety, and grief, and how humor became his lifeline. We dive into the making of his newest book, Sorry in Advance for Making Things Weird, and talk about what it means to “do the work”—even when it sucks. If you’ve ever felt like you’re falling apart while still managing to laugh, this episode will make you feel seen, heard, and a little more okay with not being okay.

 

Episode Highlights:

[1:19] – Dave shares the origin story of Disappointing Affirmations and how his mental health journey shaped his work.
[3:04] – Getting diagnosed with bipolar disorder and ADHD later in life.
[5:03] – The neurodivergent mind: creativity, sensitivity, and deep knowing.
[7:43] – Using humor to bring healing to heavy emotions.
[9:52] – Why negative thoughts deserve affirmation too.
[13:04] – Medication trials, missteps, and finally finding a fit.
[15:31] – From unfinished novels to viral memes: how the Instagram page was born.
[21:26] – The power of dark humor, cynicism, and embracing absurdity.
[23:00] – Creating a safe space for all—why Dave stays out of divisive commentary.
[26:17] – Generational therapy gaps and shifting the mental health narrative.
[29:19] – What it means to actually do the work in therapy.
[33:38] – Sibling trauma, family hierarchy, and navigating long-standing dynamics.
[38:35] – Grief, loss, and finally facing what we try to avoid.
[42:22] – What's inside the new book—and why it goes deeper than the first.
[46:13] – Where to find Dave’s books, cards, and more.
[48:13] – The importance of men accessing therapy and emotional healing.

 

Links and Resources: 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/disappointingaffirmations 

Dave Tarnowski’s book Disappointing Affirmations 

Dave Tarnowski’s book

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Pre-order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launches February 3rd. Secure your copy today and get VIP bonuses available only before launch day.