Have you ever wondered why you keep choosing emotionally unavailable people, getting stuck in the same relationship patterns, or craving closeness while simultaneously being terrified of it? So much of what drives us in our adult relationships is happening beneath the surface—and often, the survival strategies that helped us as children become the unconscious patterns we repeat as adults.

In this episode, we sit down with renowned psychoanalyst and bestselling author Dr. Galit Atlas to talk about her new book, Come Closer, and the six core childhood wounds we carry into adulthood: the frightened child, melancholic child, ashamed child, invisible child, guilty child, and chosen child. We get personal about our own childhood roles (because of course we do!) and explore emotional unavailability, parentification, shame, intimacy, vulnerability, and why understanding the child we once were can completely change the way we see ourselves and our relationships today.

Episode Highlights

[0:03] - Why do we keep repeating the relationship patterns we desperately want to change?

[2:04] - Dr. Galit Atlas explains how childhood experiences, defenses, and survival strategies become adult relationship patterns.

[4:11] - Laura gets personal about being both the “chosen” and “invisible” child—and how those roles still show up in adulthood.

[6:06] - What psychoanalysis actually is and why what we see on the surface may be a defense against deeper feelings.

[10:32] - Why part of us wants self-awareness while another part is really, really afraid of what we might discover.

[13:58] - Meet the six childhood wounds—and why most of us carry more than one.

[16:50] - The invisible child: the urge to disappear while secretly longing to be truly seen and known.

[18:37] - The chosen child, parentification, and the complicated adult consequences of being a parent’s confidant or caretaker.

[23:31] - Colette opens up about being her father’s confidant as a child and why feeling “special” can make the chosen-child dynamic so difficult to recognize.

[26:14] - When childhood wounds overlap: being chosen, unseen, and emotionally responsible for others at the same time.

[27:42] - Why we can desperately crave intimacy and still unconsciously choose relationships where true closeness feels impossible.

[29:24] - Childhood wounds aren’t always trauma: how ordinary losses, family chaos, illness, divorce, and emotional disconnection shape us.

[32:15] - The ashamed child, fear of rejection, cycles of blame, and the pursuit of the “perfect” partner.

[35:54] - How do we actually heal? Giving the child inside us a “seat at the table” and hearing our story from their perspective.

[39:57] - Recognizing when a wounded child has “the wheel” in our adult relationships.

[41:13] - Why even years of therapy and self-work don’t mean we’re finished discovering our unconscious patterns.

[42:50] - The melancholic child: unprocessed loss, separation anxiety, and the surprising ways childhood grief can repeat in adult relationships.

[47:42] - How curiosity, compassion, and awareness can help us challenge old relationship patterns and move toward authentic self-acceptance.

Links & Resources
Wild Analysis with Galit Atlas: wildanalysiswithgalitatlas.substack.com

Dr. Galit Atlas’ Website: www.drgalitatlas.com

If today's discussion resonated with you or sparked curiosity, please rate, follow, and share Insights from the Couch with others. Your support helps us reach more people and continue providing valuable insights. Here’s to finding our purposes and living a life full of meaning and joy. Stay tuned for more!

Ever stayed quiet to keep the peace and felt yourself disappear? The Cost of Quiet is for anyone who avoids conflict and pays the price. Reclaim your voice, strengthen your relationships, and experience real peace. Order your copy and join the movement: https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

🎙️ Love the podcast? Come talk about episodes with us inside The Midlife Chat. It’s a free, private community just for women at midlife who want to keep these conversations going. We’ve created this space for real talk, fresh resources, and honest connection—where you can share ideas and resources, ask questions, and get support from women navigating the same season.  Come join us—we’d love to have you!

👉 Join The Midlife Chat here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/795863256460970/

Order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launched February 3rd. Order your copy today: https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

Recognized by FeedSpot:
Top 60 Couples Therapy Podcasts | Top 100 U.S. Mental Health Podcasts | Top 100 Relaxation Podcasts

Alcohol is so normalized in our culture that it can be surprisingly hard to tell when a casual habit has quietly become a coping mechanism. In this episode, we’re having an honest, judgment-free conversation about women, alcohol, and midlife—and asking a question that’s worth considering no matter where you fall on the spectrum: Is alcohol actually serving you anymore?

We talk about the nightly wine creep, using alcohol to manage anxiety and stress, drinking as a reward or social lubricant, binge drinking, tolerance, and the subtle signs that your relationship with alcohol may be changing. We also get personal about our own experiences and explore why midlife can be such an important time to get curious about old coping mechanisms, what we’re trying not to feel, and whether it might be time to reset the table.

Episode Highlights

[0:03] - Why we’re finally talking about women, alcohol, and our relationship with drinking at midlife

[1:54] - Colette opens up about leaning on wine and cigarettes as coping mechanisms during her divorce

[3:52] - Why being high-functioning doesn’t necessarily mean your relationship with alcohol isn’t problematic

[5:54] - Growing up in a culture where heavy drinking was normalized—and how those early messages stick with us

[8:09] - The “second wave” of alcohol at midlife and how our relationship with drinking can change as we age

[9:40] - The nightly wine creep: when a glass while cooking becomes your signal that you’re finally allowed to relax

[11:06] - Using alcohol to quiet anxiety, stress, rumination, and difficult relationships

[12:42] - Sleep disruption, rebound anxiety, and the ways alcohol can leave us feeling worse instead of better

[14:14] - “I deserve this”: when alcohol becomes the reward for surviving another exhausting day

[14:47] - Weekend binge drinking, blackouts, and when getting wasted becomes synonymous with having fun

[16:35] - Laura gets personal about how problematic binge drinking affected her marriage

[17:27] - Why alcohol can be so compelling as a coping mechanism—and how tolerance and dependence can creep up on us

[20:35] - Signs worth paying attention to: exceeding your own limits, increasing tolerance, and creating rules around drinking

[21:52] - Hiding, minimizing, sneaking, or becoming protective of your alcohol use

[22:46] - When you feel like you need alcohol to sleep, socialize, have sex, relax, or tolerate difficult emotions

[25:05] - Listening when someone you trust expresses concern about your drinking

[25:26] - An important warning about alcohol dependence and why suddenly stopping heavy, regular drinking can be dangerous

[26:16] - Moving beyond the label of “alcoholic” and understanding alcohol problems as a continuum

[28:47] - Asking ourselves the bigger midlife question: Do I want to reset my relationship with alcohol?

[29:48] - Experimenting with changing familiar drinking patterns when it is medically safe to do so

[30:21] - Colette reflects on going an entire year without alcohol—and why she’s still questioning whether she wants it in her life

[31:52] - Looking underneath the drinking habit at the feelings, fears, and experiences we may be trying to avoid

If today's discussion resonated with you or sparked curiosity, please rate, follow, and share "Insights from the Couch" with others. Your support helps us reach more people and continue providing valuable insights. Here’s to finding our purposes and living a life full of meaning and joy. Stay tuned for more!

Ever stayed quiet to keep the peace and felt yourself disappear? The Cost of Quiet is for anyone who avoids conflict and pays the price. Reclaim your voice, strengthen your relationships, and experience real peace. Order your copy and join the movement: https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

🎙️ Love the podcast? Come talk about episodes with us inside The Midlife Chat. It’s a free, private community just for women at midlife who want to keep these conversations going. We’ve created this space for real talk, fresh resources, and honest connection—where you can share ideas and resources, ask questions, and get support from women navigating the same season.  Come join us—we’d love to have you!

👉 Join The Midlife Chat here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/795863256460970/

Order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launched February 3rd. Order your copy today: https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

Recognized by FeedSpot:
Top 60 Couples Therapy Podcasts | Top 100 U.S. Mental Health Podcasts | Top 100 Relaxation Podcasts

With one in six American adults now taking an antidepressant, we wanted to ask some big questions: Are we overmedicating? Are we overdiagnosing? When is medication genuinely helpful—and when might what we’re feeling simply be an appropriate response to a difficult season of life?

We’re joined by our dear friend and incredibly talented psychiatrist, Dr. Brady Bradshaw, for a nuanced conversation about modern psychiatry, depression, anxiety, SSRIs, mental health diagnoses, and the role medication can play alongside therapy. We also get into ADHD, OCD, personality disorders, medication side effects, and the important distinctions between postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety, and postpartum psychosis. If you’ve ever wondered whether medication might help you—or worried about what taking it means—this episode offers a thoughtful, humanistic perspective.

Episode Highlights
[0:03] - Are antidepressants being overprescribed? We open up the conversation around modern psychiatry, diagnoses, medication, and mental health.

[2:01] - Moving beyond the “chemical imbalance” explanation and looking at the many layers that can contribute to depression and anxiety.

[5:14] - Why a good psychiatric evaluation doesn’t automatically mean walking away with a prescription.

[6:37] - SSRIs for depression and anxiety: why they’re still considered a first-line treatment, how long they can take to work, and other medication options.

[8:47] - When life itself hurts: how do we distinguish normal emotional pain from symptoms that may benefit from medication?

[11:41] - Colette shares her own resistance to psychiatric medication during her divorce—and why a short course ultimately helped her cope, sleep, parent, and function.

[14:36] - Medication and therapy together: why reducing symptoms can sometimes make it possible to do deeper therapeutic work.

[17:18] - Challenging the idea that you have to be completely falling apart before medication is worth considering.

[19:00] - “You can still go touch grass and take Lexapro.” Dr. Bradshaw explains which mental health conditions may particularly benefit from medication.

[20:42] - OCD and ADHD: how symptoms can affect daily functioning and relationships—and when medication can be transformative.

[22:37] - Personality, temperament, anxiety, and medication: what medication can and can’t change.

[26:14] - Personality disorders versus mood and anxiety disorders, and why the timeline of symptoms matters in diagnosis.

[29:25] - The real value of a thoughtful mental health diagnosis: informing treatment rather than defining your identity.

[30:51] - “You’re not marrying the medication.” Can you eventually come off psychiatric medication?

[32:03] - Withdrawal symptoms, “brain zaps,” and why tapering medication carefully with medical guidance matters.

[33:09] - Postpartum depression and postpartum psychosis: what women and their loved ones need to know.

[35:12] - Recognizing postpartum psychosis, why it’s considered a medical emergency, and what symptoms can look like.

[38:24] - Intrusive thoughts versus psychosis: an important distinction in postpartum anxiety and mental health.

[40:32] - Why seeking treatment for postpartum depression and anxiety can also support the parent-child attachment bond.

[41:56] - Why therapy, medication, and healthy lifestyle choices don’t have to be either/or.

[43:18] - Where psychiatry can go wrong: polypharmacy, treating medication side effects with more medication, and the importance of reassessing treatment.

[45:24] - Why finding a provider who takes the time to understand the whole person can make all the difference.

Links & Resources
Dr. Brady Bradshaw, MD: www.bradybradshawmd.com

If today's discussion resonated with you or sparked curiosity, please rate, follow, and share "Insights from the Couch" with others. Your support helps us reach more people and continue providing valuable insights. Here’s to finding our purposes and living a life full of meaning and joy. Stay tuned for more!

Ever stayed quiet to keep the peace and felt yourself disappear? The Cost of Quiet is for anyone who avoids conflict and pays the price. Reclaim your voice, strengthen your relationships, and experience real peace. Order your copy and join the movement: https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

🎙️ Love the podcast? Come talk about episodes with us inside The Midlife Chat. It’s a free, private community just for women at midlife who want to keep these conversations going. We’ve created this space for real talk, fresh resources, and honest connection—where you can share ideas and resources, ask questions, and get support from women navigating the same season.  Come join us—we’d love to have you!

👉 Join The Midlife Chat here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/795863256460970/

Order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launched February 3rd. Order your copy today: https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

Recognized by FeedSpot:
Top 60 Couples Therapy Podcasts | Top 100 U.S. Mental Health Podcasts | Top 100 Relaxation Podcasts

In this episode, we’re tackling a heavy, complicated, and deeply divisive conversation: the Lindsey Clancy case and what it brings up about postpartum depression, postpartum psychosis, maternal mental health, and the ways our systems may be failing women. As two therapists, we unpack the difficulty of assessing someone’s mental state from the outside, the limits of psychiatric intervention, and why this case has become such a lightning rod online.

But because this is us, we also wander into a little potpourri—from Colette’s husband rupturing his bicep moving the world’s most expensive dust collector (aka her Peloton), to how defensiveness can derail a relationship in seconds, the darker side of social media and true crime culture, and, yes, Harry and Meghan. Underneath it all is a bigger question: Are we taking good enough care of one another? This is a raw conversation about guilt, mental health, motherhood, relationships, social media, and why we could all stand to give each other a little more grace.

Episode Highlights
[0:03] - Setting the stage for a sensitive conversation about the Lindsey Clancy case, women’s mental health, and everything else on our minds.

[2:07] - How Colette’s unused Peloton led to Steve’s major bicep injury—and an unexpected lesson in guilt and defensiveness.

[3:25] - Catching the urge to defend yourself before it turns a misunderstanding into an unnecessary argument.

[5:55] - Laura’s childhood story about an ill-advised swing-set game and the very human experience of feeling responsible when someone gets hurt.

[10:33] - Turning to the Lindsey Clancy trial and the heartbreaking questions surrounding postpartum depression, psychosis, criminal responsibility, and maternal mental health.

[13:59] - Why postpartum depression can be so difficult to recognize—even when someone has support and people know they’re struggling.

[18:54] - Murder-suicide, severe depression, and why determining someone’s mental state at a specific moment can be extraordinarily complicated.

[20:52] - Our own experiences with postpartum depression and anxiety—and how little anyone asked about our mental health after becoming mothers.

[22:05] - Why getting women appropriate mental health care isn’t as simple as telling someone to seek help or assuming hospitalization is always an option.

[25:04] - The isolation of new motherhood, intrusive thoughts, anxiety, and the pressure to look like everything is fine.

[27:27] - Discussing altruistic filicide, suicide, unbearable psychological suffering, and the disturbing rise of murder-suicide cases.

[29:02] - What other societies can teach us about community, healthcare, family support, and creating stronger safety nets.

[31:48] - The dark side of true crime culture and what happens when tragedy becomes content, clicks, and social media entertainment.

[35:21] - Why online pile-ons can become dangerous for someone who may already be struggling with their mental health.

[37:13] - A pivot to Harry and Meghan, public scrutiny, conflicting narratives, and whether multiple things can be true at the same time.

[43:07] - From the enormous to the everyday: everybody is dealing with something, whether we can see it or not.

[44:39] - Our takeaway for the week: give people grace, assume the best instead of the worst, and just be kind.

If today's discussion resonated with you or sparked curiosity, please rate, follow, and share Insights from the Couch with others. Your support helps us reach more people and continue providing valuable insights. Here’s to finding our purposes and living a life full of meaning and joy. Stay tuned for more!

Ever stayed quiet to keep the peace and felt yourself disappear? The Cost of Quiet is for anyone who avoids conflict and pays the price. Reclaim your voice, strengthen your relationships, and experience real peace. Order your copy and join the movement: https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

🎙️ Love the podcast? Come talk about episodes with us inside The Midlife Chat. It’s a free, private community just for women at midlife who want to keep these conversations going. We’ve created this space for real talk, fresh resources, and honest connection—where you can share ideas and resources, ask questions, and get support from women navigating the same season.  Come join us—we’d love to have you!

👉 Join The Midlife Chat here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/795863256460970/

Order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launched February 3rd. Order your copy today: https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

Recognized by FeedSpot:
Top 60 Couples Therapy Podcasts | Top 100 U.S. Mental Health Podcasts | Top 100 Relaxation Podcasts

Are you actually feeling your feelings—or are you really good at thinking about them? In this episode, we’re joined by somatic coach, educator, and Healing Embodied founder Chelsea Horton to explore why insight alone doesn’t always create change. We unpack what Chelsea calls “thought-feeling fusion” and “emotional constipation,” why so many of us automatically analyze, judge, or suppress emotions, and what can happen when we learn to let the body do what it naturally knows how to do.

We also get into anxiety, nervous system regulation, body awareness, sensuality, and Chelsea’s love of pole dancing as a path toward embodiment and self-expression. Whether you’re a big thinker who lives like a “floating head in a jar,” someone who feels everything intensely, or someone who struggles to feel much at all, this conversation offers a different way to relate to your emotions—and your body.

Episode Highlights
[0:03] - Are you feeling your feelings—or just analyzing them?

[2:39] - Why emotions happen in the body and the “floating head in a jar” problem

[5:15] - Understanding thought-feeling fusion and why we become “emotionally constipated”

[8:43] - Why feeling can be scary and how to build your capacity for body awareness

[13:32] - Why we can’t selectively numb emotions—and what it really means to feel alive

[16:16] - Chelsea shares how pole dancing helped her reclaim sensuality, sexuality, and embodiment

[21:32] - Using movement and somatic work to move through shame and insecurity

[24:11] - How staying with bodily sensations can transform our relationship with anxiety

[27:44] - Learning to feel as a skill—and why you can eventually practice it on your own

[31:42] - Making friends with anxiety and recognizing the gifts inside an anxious mind

[34:37] - Practical body-awareness exercises for highly sensitive people and those who feel numb

[38:42] - Where to begin with somatic work: building a relationship with your body instead of trying to “fix” it

Links & Resources
www.healingembodied.com/connect

www.facebook.com/groups/embodiedleaderparadigm

If today's discussion resonated with you or sparked curiosity, please rate, follow, and share Insights from the Couch with others. Your support helps us reach more people and continue providing valuable insights. Here’s to finding our purposes and living a life full of meaning and joy. Stay tuned for more!

Ever stayed quiet to keep the peace and felt yourself disappear? The Cost of Quiet is for anyone who avoids conflict and pays the price. Reclaim your voice, strengthen your relationships, and experience real peace. Order your copy and join the movement: https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

🎙️ Love the podcast? Come talk about episodes with us inside The Midlife Chat. It’s a free, private community just for women at midlife who want to keep these conversations going. We’ve created this space for real talk, fresh resources, and honest connection—where you can share ideas and resources, ask questions, and get support from women navigating the same season.  Come join us—we’d love to have you!

👉 Join The Midlife Chat here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/795863256460970/

Order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launched February 3rd. Order your copy today: https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

Recognized by FeedSpot:
Top 60 Couples Therapy Podcasts | Top 100 U.S. Mental Health Podcasts | Top 100 Relaxation Podcasts

What happens when AI becomes more than a tool—and starts becoming a thinking partner, emotional regulator, therapist, or even a relationship? In this episode, we’re getting very honest about our own relationships with ChatGPT, Claude, and AI: how often we use them, what we actually find helpful, and the parts that already make us a little nervous.

We’re digging into the tension between the convenience of AI and the very human things we don’t want to lose: creativity, critical thinking, emotional regulation, vulnerability, and real connection. Is AI helping us think—or slowly teaching us not to? Can an always-available chatbot change what we expect from relationships? And what happens when people start turning to AI for therapy, dating advice, companionship, and comfort? This one left both of us thinking about some boundaries we may need to put in place.

Episode Highlights
[0:40] - Confessing how much we’re actually using AI in our everyday lives.

[2:29] - Why AI can feel like another relationship where you’re just not being understood.

[4:10] - The “ick” of AI validation, false flattery, and having a companion who never gets annoyed.

[5:35] - Where AI shines as a strategic thinking partner for work, career moves, and problem-solving.

[7:05] - Using AI for emotional regulation—and why we’re starting to see some genuine value in it.

[9:06] - Why AI support can’t replace human co-regulation, responsiveness, and connection.

[11:34] - Are we eliminating the “friction of humanity” by choosing synthetic relationships over messy real ones?

[12:56] - How quickly AI has infiltrated our lives—and why that raises questions about cognitive atrophy.

[14:40] - What GPS can teach us about outsourcing our memory, thinking, and problem-solving.

[16:00] - Creativity, imagination, and the danger of letting AI do the messy ideating for us.

[17:55] - Why we may need to think for ourselves before asking AI what it thinks.

[18:27] - Esther Perel, AI relationships, and the reality of people forming bonds with artificial companions.

[20:08] - Dating, rejection, vulnerability, and why synthetic relationships may become especially seductive.

[23:04] - Asking AI what someone else is thinking—and whether AI could eventually replace parts of therapy.

[24:06] - What happened when a young couple arrived at therapy already armed with AI-generated attachment insights.

[26:39] - AI couples therapy: far-fetched idea or something therapists need to prepare for now?

[27:17] - The human advantage: presence, relational skills, nuance, and the personal touch AI can’t fully replicate.

[28:58] - The Master and His Emissary, right-brain thinking, and protecting the parts of ourselves that make us beautifully human.

[30:25] - Why human beings being flawed, nuanced, and messy may be exactly what’s worth holding onto.

If today's discussion resonated with you or sparked curiosity, please rate, follow, and share Insights from the Couch with others. Your support helps us reach more people and continue providing valuable insights. Here’s to finding our purposes and living a life full of meaning and joy. Stay tuned for more!

Ever stayed quiet to keep the peace and felt yourself disappear? The Cost of Quiet is for anyone who avoids conflict and pays the price. Reclaim your voice, strengthen your relationships, and experience real peace. Order your copy and join the movement: https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

🎙️ Love the podcast? Come talk about episodes with us inside The Midlife Chat. It’s a free, private community just for women at midlife who want to keep these conversations going. We’ve created this space for real talk, fresh resources, and honest connection—where you can share ideas and resources, ask questions, and get support from women navigating the same season.  Come join us—we’d love to have you!

👉 Join The Midlife Chat here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/795863256460970/

Order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launched February 3rd. Order your copy today: https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

Recognized by FeedSpot:
Top 60 Couples Therapy Podcasts | Top 100 U.S. Mental Health Podcasts | Top 100 Relaxation Podcasts

Avoidance doesn’t always look like silence, shutting down, or refusing to communicate. In fact, you can be highly verbal, expressive, and even confrontational—and still be avoiding the conversations that actually matter. In this episode, we’re unpacking the sneaky ways avoidance shows up in relationships, from people pleasing and hyper-independence to criticism, passive aggressiveness, bickering, and numbing out.

We’re also getting personal about the ways we’ve recognized these patterns in our own lives and relationships. If you’ve ever thought, “It’s not worth bringing up,” waited until resentment exploded, expected someone to read your mind, or convinced yourself you’re just better off handling everything alone, this conversation is for you. We’ll help you recognize avoidant communication and start moving toward more honest, assertive, self-connected conversations—without sacrificing kindness.

Episode Highlights

[0:39] - Why avoidance is so misunderstood—and why being highly communicative doesn’t mean you’re not avoiding.

[2:15] - The “siren song of avoidance”: “It’s not worth it,” “It’ll only start a fight,” and “Why bother?”

[4:20] - When holding things in turns into overcommunicating, sarcasm, resentment, or a “victim volcano.”

[8:08] - Outsourcing emotional intimacy to kids, friends, family, or someone outside your relationship.

[11:16] - Distracting and numbing with phones, TV, work, social media, and other forms of escape.

[12:44] - People pleasing, “good girlitis,” and learning to tolerate other people being disappointed in you.

[15:40] - A practical way to build your assertiveness muscle without starting with your hardest conversation.

[19:58] - How criticizing and blaming can masquerade as communicating your needs.

[23:16] - Replacing harshness with direct, kind communication that your partner actually has a chance of hearing.

[25:48] - Hyper-independence, the “I’ll handle it myself” mentality, and the self-fulfilling prophecy it creates.

[28:37] - Shutting down, stonewalling, and compartmentalizing uncomfortable relationship problems.

[30:10] - Victim volcano syndrome and passive aggressiveness: what sarcasm, digs, and “jokes” may really be telling you.

[34:13] - Why seemingly harmless bickering—or “toxic ping pong”—can slowly damage connection.

[37:02] - Sweeping frustrations under the rug and recognizing just how many “normal” relationship behaviors are actually avoidance.

[38:52] - Self-connected communication: getting underneath frustration, naming your emotions, identifying your needs, and coming forward clearly.

[41:36] - Practicing communication people can hear, repairing when you get it wrong, and taking responsibility for your side of the street.

If today's discussion resonated with you or sparked curiosity, please rate, follow, and share "Insights from the Couch" with others. Your support helps us reach more people and continue providing valuable insights. Here’s to finding our purposes and living a life full of meaning and joy. Stay tuned for more!

Ever stayed quiet to keep the peace and felt yourself disappear? The Cost of Quiet is for anyone who avoids conflict and pays the price. Reclaim your voice, strengthen your relationships, and experience real peace. Order your copy and join the movement: https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

🎙️ Love the podcast? Come talk about episodes with us inside The Midlife Chat. It’s a free, private community just for women at midlife who want to keep these conversations going. We’ve created this space for real talk, fresh resources, and honest connection—where you can share ideas and resources, ask questions, and get support from women navigating the same season.  Come join us—we’d love to have you!

👉 Join The Midlife Chat here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/795863256460970/

Order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launched February 3rd. Order your copy today: https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

Recognized by FeedSpot:
Top 60 Couples Therapy Podcasts | Top 100 U.S. Mental Health Podcasts | Top 100 Relaxation Podcasts

If you've ever left a doctor's office feeling dismissed, confused, or wondering if you're asking the wrong questions, you're not alone. We sat down with menopause expert Esther Blum for an eye-opening conversation about hormone replacement therapy, why so many women struggle to get the care they deserve, and what every woman should know about advocating for herself. This conversation challenges outdated beliefs, tackles common myths, and explores why so many women are being told they're "fine" when they know something isn't right.

We also unpack the long-term impact hormones can have on brain, bone, and cardiovascular health, why finding the right provider matters, and what changes need to happen so future generations of women receive better care. Whether you're already navigating perimenopause or simply want to be informed before you get there, this is a conversation you won't want to miss.

Episode Highlights
[0:03] - Welcoming Esther Blum and introducing her TEDx talk on the "prescription pad of misogyny."

[0:56] - Why so many women are being dismissed, gaslit, and offered outdated menopause advice.

[5:02] - Laura shares her own experience trying to access hormone therapy and asks the question so many women are asking: when is the right time to start?

[8:16] - Esther explains early signs of perimenopause, why waiting for severe symptoms isn't necessary, and the importance of early intervention.

[12:49] - We discuss the frustration of receiving completely different advice from different providers—even menopause specialists.

[18:32] - Practical strategies for finding a hormone-literate provider and becoming your own best advocate.

[24:20] - Esther shares resources, recommended testing, and why education is one of the most powerful tools women have.

[29:30] - We unpack testosterone pellets, alternative treatment options, and common misconceptions about hormone therapy.

[34:05] - Esther shares her advocacy work to improve menopause education in medical schools and create better access to care for women everywhere.

[39:05] - Where to connect with Esther, learn more about her work, and watch for her upcoming TEDx Talk.

If today's discussion resonated with you or sparked curiosity, please rate, follow, and share Insights from the Couch with others. Your support helps us reach more people and continue providing valuable insights. Here’s to finding our purposes and living a life full of meaning and joy. Stay tuned for more!

Ever stayed quiet to keep the peace and felt yourself disappear? The Cost of Quiet is for anyone who avoids conflict and pays the price. Reclaim your voice, strengthen your relationships, and experience real peace. Order your copy and join the movement: https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

🎙️ Love the podcast? Come talk about episodes with us inside The Midlife Chat. It’s a free, private community just for women at midlife who want to keep these conversations going. We’ve created this space for real talk, fresh resources, and honest connection—where you can share ideas and resources, ask questions, and get support from women navigating the same season.  Come join us—we’d love to have you!

👉 Join The Midlife Chat here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/795863256460970/

Order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launched February 3rd. Order your copy today: https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

Recognized by FeedSpot:
Top 60 Couples Therapy Podcasts | Top 100 U.S. Mental Health Podcasts | Top 100 Relaxation Podcasts

What happens when the relationship that's supposed to feel the safest becomes the one that keeps you stuck? In this episode, we sit down with journalist and author Ashley Oreman to explore the complicated reality of mother wounds, dysfunctional parent-child relationships, and the healing that becomes possible when we stop waiting for someone else to change.

Together, we unpack why setting boundaries can feel so difficult, how childhood attachment shapes our adult relationships, and what it really looks like to grieve the mother you wish you had while creating a healthier future for yourself. Whether you've struggled with people-pleasing, emotional enmeshment, or simply wondered why certain relationship patterns keep repeating, this conversation offers compassion, insight, and hope.

Episode Highlights
[0:03] - Welcome back! We introduce today's powerful conversation on motherhood, healing, and midlife growth.

[1:08] - Ashley shares the inspiration behind her book and how her own experiences led her to write about mother wounds.

[3:01] - Discover how childhood experiences can quietly shape self-worth, relationships, and emotional patterns in adulthood.

[8:15] - We explore why understanding a parent's history may bring clarity—but doesn't erase the impact of emotional neglect.

[12:59] - What happens when you finally speak your truth? Ashley shares her journey of communicating boundaries and what followed.

[18:12] - The difficult reality of low contact, honoring yourself, and accepting what someone else may never be able to give.

[21:54] - How creating healthy distance reduced rumination, anxiety, and emotional overwhelm.

[24:25] - We dive into attachment theory, relational templates, and how early family dynamics influence adult partnerships.

[26:07] - Ashley discusses family reactions, navigating guilt, and staying grounded after setting firm boundaries.

[30:14] - Why grieving the relationship you hoped for is an essential part of healing.

[31:50] - Ashley explains the interactive exercises in her book and practical ways readers can process difficult emotions.

[35:41] - We talk about the pressure of "but it's your mom," and why every relationship deserves healthy boundaries.

[39:03] - An important reminder: this isn't about blaming mothers—it's about accountability, healing, and breaking unhealthy cycles.

[43:47] - Where to find Ashley, her book, and more of her work.

Links & Resources
Ashley Oerman is a health and wellness journalist, editor, and author of Motherfcked: How to Stop Your Mother's Toxic Drama From Ruining Your Life.

• Book: Motherfcked: How to Stop Your Mother's Toxic Drama From Ruining Your Life
  https://www.amazon.com/Motherf-cked-Mothers-Toxic-Ruining/dp/1637748612/
• Substack: https://ashleyoerman.substack.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ashleyoerman/
• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@ashleyoerman/

If today's discussion resonated with you or sparked curiosity, please rate, follow, and share "Insights from the Couch" with others. Your support helps us reach more people and continue providing valuable insights. Here’s to finding our purposes and living a life full of meaning and joy. Stay tuned for more!

Ever stayed quiet to keep the peace and felt yourself disappear? The Cost of Quiet is for anyone who avoids conflict and pays the price. Reclaim your voice, strengthen your relationships, and experience real peace. Order your copy and join the movement: https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

🎙️ Love the podcast? Come talk about episodes with us inside The Midlife Chat. It’s a free, private community just for women at midlife who want to keep these conversations going. We’ve created this space for real talk, fresh resources, and honest connection—where you can share ideas and resources, ask questions, and get support from women navigating the same season.  Come join us—we’d love to have you!

👉 Join The Midlife Chat here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/795863256460970/

Order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launched February 3rd. Order your copy today: https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

Recognized by FeedSpot:
Top 60 Couples Therapy Podcasts | Top 100 U.S. Mental Health Podcasts | Top 100 Relaxation Podcasts

Clutter isn't just about having too much stuff—it's about what that clutter may be doing to your mind. In this episode, we explore the psychology behind why clutter can increase stress, drain your energy, contribute to decision fatigue, and make it harder to focus. We also share our own very different relationships with clutter, from compulsive purging to sentimental keepsakes, and how life experiences can shape the way we hold onto things.

Whether you're staring at an overflowing closet, hanging onto items that no longer serve you, or simply craving a little more peace in your home, this conversation offers practical strategies and science-backed insights to help you create more space—both physically and mentally. If you've been feeling overwhelmed or weighed down, this episode may be exactly what you need.

Episode Highlights

[0:03] – Why clutter is so much more than a housekeeping issue—and how it may be quietly impacting your stress, focus, and overall well-being.

[1:08] – We share our very different relationships with clutter, from compulsive purging to growing up around hoarding, and how those experiences shaped us.

[3:45] – The surprising sense of peace that comes from simplifying your surroundings—and the science that explains why it feels so good.

[6:53] – How visual clutter increases cognitive load, decision fatigue, and even cortisol levels without you realizing it.

[10:37] – Why major life transitions, grief, and emotional wounds often show up in the way we accumulate and hold onto our belongings.

[15:28] – The emotional pull of sentimental items, why it's so hard to let go, and how to curate what truly matters.

[20:10] – What we learned from downsizing, moving, and starting over—and why owning less can create more emotional freedom.

[23:48] – Practical decluttering strategies you can actually stick with, even if you're feeling completely overwhelmed.

[29:20] – A fresh perspective on minimalism, consumer culture, and becoming more intentional about what you bring into your home.

[33:07] – Why decluttering during busy seasons of life can feel impossible—and the small changes that make the biggest difference.

[36:19] – We leave you with a simple challenge to consume less, create more space, and protect your peace.

If today's discussion resonated with you or sparked curiosity, please rate, follow, and share Insights from the Couch with others. Your support helps us reach more people and continue providing valuable insights. Here’s to finding our purposes and living a life full of meaning and joy. Stay tuned for more!

Ever stayed quiet to keep the peace and felt yourself disappear? The Cost of Quiet is for anyone who avoids conflict and pays the price. Reclaim your voice, strengthen your relationships, and experience real peace. Order your copy and join the movement: https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

🎙️ Love the podcast? Come talk about episodes with us inside The Midlife Chat. It’s a free, private community just for women at midlife who want to keep these conversations going. We’ve created this space for real talk, fresh resources, and honest connection—where you can share ideas and resources, ask questions, and get support from women navigating the same season.  Come join us—we’d love to have you!

👉 Join The Midlife Chat here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/795863256460970/

Order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launched February 3rd. Order your copy today: https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

Recognized by FeedSpot:
Top 60 Couples Therapy Podcasts | Top 100 U.S. Mental Health Podcasts | Top 100 Relaxation Podcasts