Synopsis

Today’s topic comes from Dr. Misner’s new book, Avoiding the Networking Disconnect, co-authored with Brennan Scanlon. To succeed at networking, you need to be self-aware, selfless, and selfish.

Don’t feel too guilty if you’re networking to get business. Everyone is. But you need to be self-aware. Know what you want from the meeting and what you want from the relationships. Understand your product or service and be able to communicate it clearly. Know whether the people you’re talking to are in or have connections to your target market.

The only way you’re going to motivate anyone to refer business to you is to be selfless. Be genuinely interested in the people you’re talking to. Focus on them when talking to them. Ask “How can I help you?”

If you’ve given a lot to someone and received nothing in return, you need to have a conversation with them. Ask “How can I help you get referrals for me?” You need to be selfless first, but it’s okay to be a little bit selfish. People will be willing to help you if you have helped them.

The Official BNI Podcast will be on winter break December 23rd and 30th, and will return the first week in January. Meanwhile, you can order the book from the BNI Member Store.

Brought to you by Networking Now.

Complete Transcript of Episode 437

Priscilla:

Hello everyone and welcome back to the Official BNI Podcast, brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. I am Priscilla Rice, and I am coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkeley, California. I am joined on the phone today by the Founder and the Chief Visionary Officer of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner. Hello, Ivan. How are you today?

Ivan:

I am doing great, and I gave you a tongue twister for a topic today, didn’t I?

Priscilla:

You sure did. What is that about? Tell us.

Ivan:

This is some material out of my new book. It just came out within the last month. It is called Avoiding the Networking Disconnect and it is co-written with a BNI Director- a great guy- Brennan Scanlon. I will include a link here on this podcast where, if you are interested, you can go and check out the book. This is some material from the book that I think BNI members might be interested in. And though it is a tongue twister, it is a great way of looking at your networking efforts because you really need to do three different things. You need to be self-aware. You need to understand what you want to get out of your networking activities. You need to be selfless.

We had a podcast recently with Bob Burg talking about the Go-Giver. That is a certain amount of selflessness. Givers gain is about selflessness. It is okay to be a little bit selfish, but first you need to be self aware and selfless. Let’s talk about this a little more.

Most people, a lot of people- and I think BNI members are certainly better than most- think networking is all about them. That is why we called the book, Avoiding the Networking Disconnect, because everybody shows up at networking events wanting to sell and hardly anyone is there to buy. That is the networking disconnect. They are just a little selfish. They are there to get business.

But look, don’t feel too guilty if you are thinking, “Look, I am networking to get business.” Everybody is. It is completely natural. The counter intuitive part is the being selfless. So let’s talk about the three and how they all work together.

You should never walk into a networking event or a BNI meeting without knowing what you want from the meeting and fro...