Synopsis

This week we have another Ask Ivan question. Post your questions in the comments or on Dr. Misner’s Facebook Page.

Jenny in Malaysia asks how to handle a bad referral.

* Talk to the person who gave you the bad referral.You will never get to the heart of the situation unless you have a conversation. You never know what might come of that conversation–including a good referral.

* If that doesn’t work, go to the membership committee. Don’t talk to other people in the group. Talk to the membership committee. They may have received other complaints.

* Always speak up when you get a bad referral. Don’t accept mediocrity when excellence is an option.

Brought to you by Networking Now.

Complete Transcript of Episode 439 –

Priscilla:

Hello everyone and welcome back to the Official BNI Podcast, brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. I am Priscilla Rice, and I am coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkeley, California. I am joined on the phone today by the Founder and the Chief Visionary Officer of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner. Hello, Ivan. How are you and where are you?

Ivan:

Hi Priscilla. I am kind of in your neck of the woods. I am in northern California and I am doing some presentations. It is always fun to be in northern California.

Priscilla:

We have a beautiful place here.

Ivan:

Today I have, I think, a really interesting topic. I have been doing a lot of Ask Ivan questions and I have decided there are several questions I am going to try to do this month. I did it last week, and I have another one this week.

You can do the Ask Ivan by going to my Facebook page and from time to time, we will put it out there: do you have a question for Ivan? You can also post your questions here on BNIpodcast. I promise to try to cover as many questions as I can.

This week, I am going to tackle a question from Jenny in Malaysia. Jenny asks- she would really like to know more about how to handle a bad referral. You have never seen those, have you, Priscilla?

Priscilla:

No, and hopefully, I have never given one.

Ivan:

Absolutely. I think most of us hope that we don’t get one. I think it is really important to answer this question. There are three points that I really want to make when you get a bad referral.

Here is the first one. I am going to take a lot of time with this first one. You have to talk to the person who gave you the bad referral. You chuckle because people are always nervous about that. But you have to talk to them. You cannot get to the heart of the issue if you don’t have a conversation with them.

My experience is that clear, open, honest, direct communication- professional and polite is the only way to solve the problem. And you never know what might come of that conversation.

Let me tell you a true story. It happened reasonably early in BNI. It was in the late 80’s. The first thing you have to do is talk to the person who gave you the bad referral. I have been saying that for some time. When I started BNI, I was basically the Director and visiting chapters and a woman came up to me after the meeting and said, “Ivan, you have always said talk to the person if you get a bad referral.”

I said, “Yes. That’s right.”

She said, “I got a really bad referral.”

I said, “Well, tell me.”

She said, “Okay. Tell me if you think this is bad. I called this gentleman and introduced myself and told him who referred me. He said to me, ‘Lady, not only do I not know who you are, I don’t know who the [bleep] you said referred me to you.'” And he hung up.