Synopsis

When you get any group of people together on a regular basis, you’re going to have challenges. The way you address them is really important. If you address problems in a negative way, you’re going to have even worse problems. You have to focus on solutions, and you have to do it in a positive way.

It’s important to pay attention to how you’re coming across. Sometimes people don’t realize that being frank can come across as being negative. If your criticism is too blunt, it won’t be heard.

There are two books that Dr. Misner recommends for dealing with problems, challenges, and conflicts. The first is Crucial Conversations and the second is The Solutions Focus.

If you really want to make a difference, gentle persuasion is much more effective than saying “You’re wrong.” Remember that diplomacy is the gentle art of letting someone else have your way.

Brought to you by Networking Now.

Complete Transcript of Episode 462 –

Priscilla:

Hello everyone and welcome back to the Official BNI Podcast, brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. I am Priscilla Rice, and I am coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkeley, California. I am joined on the phone today by the Founder and the Chief Visionary Officer of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner. Hello, Ivan. How are you today?

Ivan:

I am doing great, Priscilla. Thank you so much. And I have an announcement. I don’t think we have mentioned this on the podcast yet.

Priscilla:

What is that?

Ivan:

Last month, BNI passed the 200,000th member mark worldwide. 200,000 members in more than 65 countries around the world. We are really growing globally and are doing our best to change the way the world does business by making a big footprint through that.

Priscilla:

Do you know where the fastest growing chapters are?

Ivan:

They are in a number of places in terms of countries. France right now is just on fire. They are on fire and growing so well. Italy. Vietnam. Japan. Those are just some of the countries that are just really, really doing great. Did I mention India?

Priscilla:

No.

Ivan:

India is definitely growing. There are a lot of places around the world that are embracing BNI and spreading our networking incredibly thoroughly worldwide.

Priscilla:

That is really wonderful. Congratulations.

Ivan:

Thank you. The topic this week is using gentle persuasion. I brought it up because I got involved with the staff and support team at global, world headquarters in Charlotte. They reached out to me because there was a challenge that a chapter was having with an individual member. They just asked me to give them some advice.

The problem really was that this member was using everything but gentle persuasion. He really had some very strong opinions. The chapter dealt with it pretty well and they sent him a letter, an email actually, a note saying, “We really appreciate your contributions. We like your contributions, but we are noticing that they are extremely negative. You are posting things publicly and you are putting them on social media. And it’s bringing down the chapter’s morale. We would like for you to use private channels to talk about some of these things that you are concerned about. We are happy to do that, but doing it publicly is not the way to do it.”

That sounds pretty reasonable doesn’t it?

Priscilla:

Absolutely.

Ivan:

I thought so.

Priscilla:

He didn’t think so?

Ivan: