Synopsis

If you try to make networking transactional (like a vending machine) instead of relational, it won’t work. People will always keep a scorecard, but it’s not really possible to keep score. Two referrals to a florist and two referrals to a real estate agent are not the same thing. It’s not practical to expect people to provide you referrals of exactly the same value that you provide them.

If you make referral marketing into a transactional process, it will absolutely, categorically fail. You have to enter into the philosophy of Givers Gain, which is based on reciprocity. By working with people over time and developing relationships with them, the value of the referrals you give will come back to you. What goes around does come around in BNI.

Take time to get to know and trust people before you refer business to them–and give them the opportunity to get to know and trust you.

Share your own experiences with transactional vs. relational networking here in the comments.

Brought to you by Networking Now.

Complete Transcript of Episode 470 –

Priscilla:

Hello everyone and welcome back to the Official BNI Podcast, brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. I am Priscilla Rice, and I am coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkeley, California. I am joined on the phone today by the Founder and the Chief Visionary Officer of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner. Hello, Ivan. How are you and where are you?

Ivan:

I am in Orlando, Florida this week. I have been invited to a John Maxwell Leadership event. I am going to be at his event for the next couple of days.

Priscilla:

That sounds like a lot of fun.

Ivan:

Yeah, it should be a blast. I have never met John so it will be really nice to meet him.

Priscilla:

Will you tell us about it sometime in the future?

Ivan:

I will, indeed. Absolutely. Happy to do it.

Priscilla:

Okay. What is this episode about, coin-operated networking?

Ivan:

Coin-operated networking. So coin-operated networking is like a vending machine. Take two coins, stick them in the slot, push the button and wait until the candy bar pops out. That is what I would call transactional networking.

While the transactional process is great for vending machines, it is just the opposite for networking. If you are trying to network by saying, “I will give you business now, but you will have to give it to me back,” then you will be really sorely disappointed, I think.

The proper mindset is let me help you out. I have some ideas. I have a referral for you. Over time, it will get back to me, I’m sure.

If you try to make it transactional instead of relational, it won’t work because people will always keep a scorecard. So I think in order to make networking successful, you really have to focus on building the relationship and not expecting this sort of this transactional process, that I like to call coin-operated networking, where I am going to give you two referrals. Now you give me two referrals back.

It really doesn’t work that way for so many reasons. First of all, just logically, the value of referrals can be substantially different. The numbers alone are never really relevant. Two referrals to a florist are vastly different than two referrals to a real estate agent.

Priscilla:

Right. That’s for sure.

Ivan:

Yeah, you have got to get a lot of referrals for the florist to make up for one really good referral to a real estate agent. You know, by the same token, it is unreasonable to expect the same amount of dollars in referral from someone just because you passed referrals of a certain magnitude big enough.

If you pass a referral worth $1000 and you have an expectation that the per...