Sex and Psychology Podcast

Episode 483: Making Relationship Agreements That Work


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When people open a relationship, they often start by asking: what are the rules? But the real key to healthy non-monogamy isn’t rules. It’s clarity about needs, desires, and expectations. In this episode, we’re talking about how to design relationship agreements that actually work.

I am joined once again by Dr. Nicole Thompson, a sex and relationship psychotherapist and host of the popular podcast, Modern Anarchy. She is the author of The Psychedelic Jealousy Guide: Crafting Secure Non-Monogamous Relationships. She is also the founder of The Pleasure Practice, where she supports individuals in crafting pleasurable sex lives and expansive non-monogamous relationships.

Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include:

  • What’s the difference between our needs and our desires?
  • How can partners discuss and negotiate different desires in healthy ways?
  • What kinds of things should go into a relationship agreement?
  • How do you cultivate feelings of security in a non-monogamous relationship?
  • To learn more, check out the Modern Anarchy website.

    Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

    ***

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    ***

    Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on FacebookTwitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

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    Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

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