My friend Dr. Heidi Hastings joins us to talk about her research around betrayal trauma for women in marriages (largely around a husband’s pornography use) She is married, LDS, mother of 4, lives in Frisco, Texas, sex and marriage researcher/educator, teaches Family Stress and Coping for BYU-Idaho online, Master’s and Ph.D. degrees in Human Development and Family Studies from Texas Woman’s University.

Dr. Hastings vulnerably shares some of her own story, as well as her research, which includes a model she developed as part of her Ph.D. dissertation called “Stages of Betray of Self-Development.” The five stages (innocence, crisis, aftermath, healing, and transformation) are so helpful to those walking the road of betrayal trauma and those working to help them.

Dr. Hastings concludes with important takeaways, including the role of God, how Jesus is “relief,” women need women to heal, the need for couples to communicate about pornography and sexuality, and the unhelpful role of shame in keeping pornography use “underground.”

This is one of the most helpful, insightful, and powerful podcasts we’ve done on seeing, understanding, and solving betrayal trauma and how it is possible to move forward with peace, hope, and healing. I encourage everyone to listen to this podcast for the insights and principles Dr. Hastings shares that can help each of us have better/more healthy relationships. It also provides tools and ideas to help others in our areas of responsibility.

Thank you, Dr. Hastings, for your groundbreaking work, which is so needed in our community. Honored to have you on the podcast!

Richard "Papa" Ostler

Links:

Dr. Hastings' email: [email protected]

Jesus is Relief talk based on her research: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sjfGurwMl9g

Google Form for submitting your story to help influence the direction of Dr Hastings' new book: https://forms.gle/Ffkg6h483ewzptBK8

Mood Log exercise to help change distressing thought patterns (see https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/s6cdjhdoumzqijgx198ur/Mood-logs-Dr-Hastings-Podcast.doc?rlkey=35zxda71dwbqh5065kxrd6hei&dl=0). For details about how to implement this form, check out the full book, When Panic Attacks by D. D. Burns (2006).