My friend Candice Clark (mother of 5, lives in Iowa City, Iowa) joins us to share her story of her journey to love, understand, and accept her queer kids—and the blessings of using their preferred pronouns.

Candice is open about the sometimes choppy road to using preferred pronouns—but talks about how that brought improved relationships and more love, open communication, and genuine family unity and understanding. She shares ten messages a queer person might hear when we use their pronouns:

You know yourself better than I know you.

I would rather change the way I speak about you than hurt you repeatedly.

Your sense of safety is important to me.

Your identity is real and should be acknowledged.

I want to teach everyone around me to respect you.

Being uncomfortable is fine if I avoid being offensive.

I can hear you talking and I am really listening.

Being who you truly are is not an inconvenience to me.

I would prefer if you kept being honest with me.

I am an ally, a friend, and someone you can trust.

Candice talks about her journey to encourage extended family to also use preferred pronouns—a journey that has been very difficult at times and required Candice to extend skills of grace, listening, and bridge building. Candice talks about how it is a journey worth undertaking. Candice talks about her podcast “No Empty Chairs: For Moms Whose Kids Don’t Come to Church,” becoming a life coach, and her role in and the purpose of the Facebook group “Bridges: Support for Latter-day Saint Parents of Adult Children”.

If you are looking for a real-world story of better supporting the queer people in your life, please listen to Candice’s podcast and connect with her resources.

Thank you, Candice, for being on the podcast. You are awesome. Your work is so needed in our community!

Links:

Candice’s web page: candiceclarkcoaching.com/

Candice’s FB Page: www.facebook.com/candiceclarkcoaching

Candice’s Podcast: candiceclarkcoaching.com/?page_id=78

Bridges FB Group: www.facebook.com/groups/1139458306236720

FB Group for LDS Parents with LGBTQ children: www.facebook.com/groups/WalkWithYouLDSParentsOfLGBTQ