everyday compassion with Henny Flynn

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An invitation to explore what it is our habitual behaviours give us - and what they take from us. To see how they SERVE us, in their entirety.

To look inside and see what is attached to the behaviour that holds it in place - and through a process of disentanglement, to then see what would serve us even more fully.

A question here can be - what's the ROI (the Return on Investment)? For the energy that you're putting into an action, habit, behaviour - is it returning what you most need?


BY THE WAY...
This episode was recorded pre-Christmas, so don't get confused when you hear me mention it!


To explore your own reflections, go to hennyflynn.co.uk and book a free discovery session to see how coaching with Henny could support you.

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What stops a space feeling just right?

From Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs through to research on the challenges of hot desking and the realities of working from home; perched at the kitchen table... this episode explores how do we create the most conducive space for us to be FULLY present.

I also raise the question of what are the unspoken rules we've created or adopted - the rules that somehow determine the way we're using a space.

And from there, what are the tiny changes we can make to the space we're in, so we can REALLY belong.

Henny x
https://www.hennyflynn.co.uk/

Shop The Heart of Change, my NEW book
https://www.shookbop.com/products/the-heart-of-change-by-henny-flynn


If you enjoyed this episode, please do leave a review on Apple Podcasts.

Watch the unedited version on YouTube... https://youtu.be/7SKqR-XqxTM and please do subscribe for future episodes 

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Today's episode is not a podcast as such.

It is a Christmas gift to yourself, a moment of deep self-compassion. And an opportunity to expand that field of compassion ever wider to encompass those you love, those you barely know, those with whom you have difficulty and those you have not yet met.

We all know that this time of the festive season brings its own challenges and joys. Our compassion (for ourselves and others) can feel like it is worn a little thin. This practice enables us to refuel ourselves. Dousing ourselves in that feeling of compassion, to support us throughout the days ahead.

Find a space. Walk, lie down, sit. Whatever feels best for you today. And listen.

As ever I send you love and light.

Henny x

PS: For more meditations, see my work as a teacher on InsightTimer - and please do follow me there, to see when new meditations are added https://insighttimer.com/hennyflynn

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Explore the power of Flow Journaling, self-compassion and gentle change in a supportive space.
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Today's episode is a build on Series 5, Episode 3 - Freeing ourselves from the inner (and outer) clutter.

It was inspired by a message from my dear friend and frequent podcast guest, Susan McCulley: "I listened back to your wonderful Decluttering episode and took some notes / had some thoughts about where we might go with this…"

And so, this is where we went...

Decluttering is NOT just about 'things'. It is deeply associated with identity, memory, permanence (and impermanence). It is TENDER work - and demands our compassion (in the gentlest way!)

Four powerful questions that arose for us, as we talked, were...

Ask yourself:
- Is this the best way to use my energy? (Acknowledging it takes energy to hold onto things)
- What am I holding onto within this item?
- What do I want this space / house / chair to feel like?

And, ask the object:
- How does it feel to be released?

To connect with Susan...
Go to her website http://www.susanmcculley.com/
OR
Join her wonderful Facebook group - The Age of Becoming https://www.facebook.com/groups/411723369813607

REFERENCES
https://www.hennyflynn.co.uk/s5-3-freeing-ourselves-from-the-inner-outer-clutter

How Pleasure Works, Paul Bloom (this is the book I was trying to recall!)

https://thepsychologist.bps.org.uk/volume-26/edition-8/psychology-stuff-and-things

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Sign up to hear more - and only receive what speaks to you.
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Tiny reminders of self-love and presence, delivered three times a week.
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Explore the power of Flow Journaling, self-compassion and gentle change in a supportive space.
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Rest, reflect and reconnect – fully supported in a place of deep natural beauty.
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Explore tools for inner connection and compassionate growth.
Visit the library

Free 20-minute Call
Explore whether coaching could support what’s calling for change.
...

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What is the wisdom you have gathered to you?

One of the things we’ll be exploring in the next retreat is how WINTER is a time of turning inward - the leaves have fallen, the crops have been harvested, the stores are full - and within that is the metaphor of seeing the wisdom (the crops) you have gathered to you. That you are now storing, ready for when they need to be used.

What wisdom can you gather from reflecting on what changed for you since you first...

• Began a new job?
• Moved into a new home?
• Started a new school?
• Embarked on a new relationship?
• Met someone who would become a dear friend for the first time?

What was your mindset at the start - and how did it change? What does that reflection show you of what you have learnt? And how can you bring that with you into new experiences.

So often, we barrel through life, without taking the time to stop and listen and see what we are learning.

In this time of Winter, metaphorical or literal, we have an opportunity to rest in that wisdom, to allow it to settle within us - so it is there, always ready, for us to apply to the life we live now.

Some of the things I reflect on today include...

- Whether we see this time of WINTER as literal or metaphorical - it’s message is clear - it is a time to allow ourselves to REST.
- Through so much of life, we are trained to stay up in our heads, disconnected with the natural rhythms of the seasons - in our ‘always on’ culture everything must happen all the time.
- But we have to have times of rest - other wise nothing new can grow.

Through an exploration of my own reflections on our recent move to a new home - and the wisdom our old home imparted to us - this is an invitation to see your own wisdom you have gathered...

And to see how you wish to store it over winter, so it's ready for you when you most need it.

With love

Henny x
https://www.hennyflynn.co.uk/

Shop The Heart of Change, my

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everyday ♡ compassion
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This bonus episode is a recording of a new poem to My darling girl.

A love letter to that special depth of friendship between women.

Of course, deep friendship is not an exclusively female experience but this poem was inspired by my own friendships with the women in my life. As ever, I hope it speaks, in some way, to you too.

To buy the published collection, go to https://www.shookbop.com/products/my-darling-girl-by-henny-flynn or order through Waterstones.


My darling girl 

Love like this takes many forms

Couched in hugs and hand-held, arm-brushed touch

Whispered with a smile that’s such only you two can read

Laughed into being with being loved in turn

Love like this has many names

Mother, daughter, sister, friend

A blurring of the boundaries 

The unites us all into a single soul

A boundless bounty without end

Love like this is multi-hued

Each colour cascading upward into light

Lifting hearts and minds alike

And while it might not feel a common gift

Love like this is not hard to find

A precious joy from the infinite divine


With love
Henny x

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A piece of quiet
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everyday ♡ compassion
Tiny reminders of self-love and presence, delivered three times a week.
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Visit the library

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What does it mean to be confident? How do we find it? What happens when it disappears?

I'm joined today by my friend and fellow coach, Debbie Pugh.

The founder of The Quiet Network, Debbie has a wealth of experience in exploring self-confidence, both for herself and her clients.

I found this conversation deeply enriching as we explored a range of ideas, beliefs and behaviours that can contribute to - and detract from - a feeling of self-confidence.

Today, we discuss...

• The distinction & balance between being an introvert or an extrovert
• How our levels of self-confidence are affected by internal or external validation
• How deep self-care can support us in developing and sustaining our self-confidence
• What happens when our confidence plummets
• How we often try to intellectualise our way out of a drop in confidence
• How to reframe our language to reframe our experience of things that knock our confidence
• How our inner parts - our child self or adolescent self - can be activated when things happen that make us feel less confident
• Self-confidence is an energy - aligned directly with understanding what motivates us
• How meditation can be a powerful tool in helping us observe what’s happening in our mind
• Comparison is the thief of joy - and we can never know what others think or feel - non-judgemental observation is key
• The transformative quality of the power dynamics of transactional analysis and the ++ mindset - and how we can CHOOSE to adopt the mindset that most serves us (and most serves our interactions with others)
• Self-confidence at it’s heart is the deep knowledge of “I’m ok”
• And we close with a quote from Planes, Trains & Automobiles… now, you didn’t expect that!

Always re

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Tiny reminders of self-love and presence, delivered three times a week.
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Explore the power of Flow Journaling, self-compassion and gentle change in a supportive space.
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...

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Today I am offering a meditation.

The invitation is to release whatever is taking your attention, and turn your gaze toward yourself. To rest, reflect. To settle. To breathe. To listen.

This has been a big week for me, personally. 

My second book, The Heart of Change was published, it's been World Menopause Day which has meant leading webinars with organisations as well as hosting events myself. And, we are edging ever closer to some major personal changes, as our son prepares to move into his own flat and we prepare to move from our family home... and move to a new family home in another part of the country.

As one friend put it 'there's an awful lot going on'. 

And, of course, we have all had times where there's an awful lot going on; whether sought or received.

This meditation is a reflection on the simplicity and the complexity of 'BEING WITH'. 

As ever, I hope this finds you well, safe, happy and at ease.

Sent with love

Henny x

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Tiny reminders of self-love and presence, delivered three times a week.
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What do you think, feel, believe about change?

This is the question we're asking today.

We've all inherited stories through our family line, through our care-givers, through people we've learnt from, people we've worked with.

And these stories can influence the way we feel about change. We may see it as something to be avoided at all costs - or leapt into. Or (more likely) a combination of the two.

My new book, The Heart of Change, is published this month.

And it explores change from the perspective of what we think, feel, believe about change - because by doing this exploration we are better able to understand the approach that's best for us, as individuals. We're also better able to understand what changes will most serve us - and what may be driving the desire to change.

There are 5 core parts of the book - each filled with self-reflection opportunities, exercises to explore and journaling prompts to consider. Some of the questions that arise as we explore our own 'heart of change' can be:

• What does change mean to you, personally? 
• What helps you create balance in your life, to support you in times of change?
• How is resilience learnt, developed, accessed?
• Where can we embrace disruption as something beautiful in our lives?
• What accompanies emergence as we come through a time of change?

The book is an invitation to explore. To write. To feel. To create.

I hope you love reading it, and working through it, as much as I have loved creating it.

With love

Henny x

See hennyflynn.co.uk to order your copy

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A piece of quiet
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everyday ♡ compassion
Tiny reminders of self-love and presence, delivered three times a week.
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Explore the power of Flow Journaling, self-compassion and gentle change in a supportive space.
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Rest, reflect and reconnect – fully supported in a place of deep natural beauty.
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Explore tools for inner connection and compassionate growth.
Visit the library

Free 20-minute Call
Explore whether coaching could support what’s calling for change.
...

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Susan wrote to me recently and said:

"I've been thinking a lot about the idea of dressing/style as a kind of self expression and full showing up as opposed to dressing for others. The off shoot thought is that exercise can be the same: can I choose movement that feels great to me, what I love, as opposed to exercising to look a certain way or burn calories or as penance for what I've eaten."

Her deeper reflection was wondering whether exercising this intentional CHOICEFULNESS in the things we use to adorn ourselves, or how we move our body, starts being about whether we can be fully intentional about ALL the choices that we make. 

In the episode we explore our own attitudes and learnt beliefs about clothes, makeup, jewellery & exercise, and how those have changed over the years. Focussing on a few core questions...

• Where does the line get drawn between self-protection and self-expression?
• How do we square the BELIEFS we may hold, eg about make-up or clothes being a feminist issue, with what we FEEL to be right for US?
• What are the societal stories we’ve inherited or are carrying?
• Who or what is driving the choices we make? 

Ultimately the question comes down to... are we making choices from a place of love or fear?

How do these reflections land with you? What are your thoughts? We would LOVE to hear. Come and share your thoughts over on the Henny Flynn Facebook group or connect with Susan...

www.susanmcculley.com

The Age of Becoming 

Henny x

As a word of warning, this episode contains a moment of strong language, when I share a story from my childhood.

REFERENCES

• The TED talk Susan mentioned that insip

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

Support the show

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A piece of quiet
Your weekly pause - a calming relaxation practice, every Wednesday. A few minutes to settle, a few minutes to write. First aid for the soul.
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everyday ♡ compassion
Tiny reminders of self-love and presence, delivered three times a week.
Subscribe here

Free Events & Small Group Courses
Explore the power of Flow Journaling, self-compassion and gentle change in a supportive space.
See what’s on

Solo Retreats at Bach Brook
Rest, reflect and reconnect – fully supported in a place of deep natural beauty.
Retreat with me

Books, Journaling Resources & Self-paced Courses
Explore tools for inner connection and compassionate growth.
Visit the library

Free 20-minute Call
Explore whether coaching could support what’s calling for change.
...