everyday compassion with Henny Flynn

Welcome to the Henny Flynn podcast, the podcast that's all about deepening self-awareness with profound self-compassion. 

I'm Henny - an author, coach and retreat host - and I'm curious about our inner landscape. About what it is that shapes and drives our thoughts, feelings and actions. And I love exploring ways we can change our conditioned responses, behaviours and patterns, with endless tenderness.

If you're curious too; if you, like me, wish to have an ever more open mind and open heart, then I hope these episodes will help spark your own reflections. And I would love to hear where they take you.

Just search the Henny Flynn podcast on your favourite podcast app.

I look forward to meeting you there.

***

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A reading from My Darling Girl, set to music (with credit for its sweeping beauty to Scott Buckley, details below).

This piece is a love letter to those times when we feel we might be drowning in the doubts that swirl around us.

It begins...

Sometimes we cross the river of doubt with
ease, skipping across the stepping stones,
landing softly on the other side.
And sometimes we stare at the raging waters,
wondering how we ever thought we could
traverse them.

Close your eyes, and see where the words and music take you.

With love
Henny x

My Darling Girl is available to order here https://www.hennyflynn.co.uk/books


Beautiful Oblivion by Scott Buckley | https://soundcloud.com/scottbuckley
Music promoted by https://www.free-stock-music.com
Attribution 4.0 International (CC BY 4.0)
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

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Once again, I'm back with the inimitable Susan McCulley. A wise woman with an enormous heart.

Today, we're talking boundaries.

- how we can create them
- what makes us break them
- how we can learn to keep them
- how we can find ourselves treading on others'
- what respecting boundaries really means
AND
- the inevitability of feeling guilty when we hold our boundaries - and how that is part of the boundary process.

Boundaries is something that comes up again and again in the work that Susan and I each do - even though our clients' needs and the way we serve may be very different, the need for boundaries is UNIVERSAL.

This is a delicious conversation - of course! And it touches on some tender things. So, as ever, the invitation is to rest and listen and see what arises for you.

We would LOVE to hear your thoughts - please share with us in the comments below - and don't forget to subscribe to the show!

A couple of BLOG POSTS from Susan on boundaries include:

- Building Boundaries — Susan McCulley http://www.susanmcculley.com/blog-posts/boundaries
- Holding Boundaries — Susan McCulley http://www.susanmcculley.com/blog-posts/holdboundaries
- and one about "softening" - something we discuss in the show -
Space in Myself — Susan McCulley http://www.susanmcculley.com/blog-posts/spaceinme

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A few years ago - an idea for a book called ‘small pleasures’ came to me. It was intended as a collection of all the things that can give us a great sense of well-being, even though in themselves they might seem slight.

The idea drifted about and occasionally I’d add another one to the mental list.

But I couldn’t quite see how the book would look and feel, or how it would come into being.

Then, over the past few months the idea has returned - though this time with much more clarity about the direction it needed to take. And though it’s changed shape - it feels like it is still very much connected to that original thought.

And it's led to a whole new book, now making her way in the world.

**All the ways I tell myself I love you**

Self-love is far easier than we might think - even though it can sometimes feel a bit esoteric or nebulous or theoretical... ESPECIALLY when we’re not FEELING IT.

And we can look at others who are expressing self-love and think ‘it’s ok for them, they haven’t got to deal with x y z’. But the reality is that we ALL have 'stuff' in our lives that can get in the way, and make self-compassion / self-love feel hard to attain. Which, of course, also means that we can ALL practice self-love, in whatever way makes sense for us.

My ways of telling myself 'I love you' will be different from yours. But I hope with all my heart that this new book speaks to you, as the words and illustrations inside it spoke to me.

Find out more https://www.hennyflynn.co.uk/all-the-ways

As one client said: "It’s such a beautiful and simple but powerful book. I look forward to putting some of the affirmations to use!"

Thank you for being part of bringing it out into the world.

Henny x

All the ways I tell myself I love you
The little book of practical compassion
Hard cover, 62pp + cover, 148mm x 148mm, full colour illustrations throughout 
£13.99 + p&p (UK address)

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Today’s guest is the inspirational Udo Erasmus.

He’s the founder of Udo’s Choice and author of the book Fats That Heal Fats that Kill, which has sold over 250,000 copies. And he’s shared the stage with people like Deepak Chopra.

So, when his team approached me about him joining as a guest on the show I was intrigued to hear more.

His personal story began with intense struggle as a young child during the Second World War and has taken him through studies in biochemistry, genetics, biology, and nutrition as well as a master’s degree in counselling psychology. And it has seen him take his health into his own hands when doctors couldn’t support him.

This was a wide ranging conversation but at its heart was a single core theme.

That peace resides WITHIN us and all around us. And if we wish to find it, our only act is to release our resistance.

There is a strong spiritual theme to this conversation, though entirely non-denominational and I personally found it fascinating to hear Udo's thoughts, and to notice my own reflections that arose as we spoke.

He shares much wisdom here, gathered over his 8 decades - and shares what has inspired him to keep learning.

As he says, we are all a work in progress.

It feels conversation also relates to episodes 1 and 2 of this series:
S7E1 - The Artificial Grownup
S7E2 - From Transformation to Revelation

I hope you enjoy listening as much as I did and would love to hear your thoughts.
Henny x

*****

If you'd like to connect further with Udo, take a look here: http://theudo.com 

AND! He has b

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Visit the library

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...

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How do we connect memories with emotion that then influences our actions?

If you remember the nursery rhyme about Dr Foster, you'll know that he went to Gloucester but because of one bad experience, involving a very deep puddle... he never went there again.

My own realisation of how a 'bad' experience almost stopped me going to a garden centre again (I know!), helped me made a conscious decision (to go!), rather than having a subconscious emotional response (and stay home).

This then helped me reflect on the way our beautiful brain can influence us and stop us doing things... even when the danger or risk has well and truly passed.

This episode is about how our memories can influence us even in the every day, where we might not realise that we ARE being influenced by emotional responses we've had in the past. And, of course, if you extrapolate this idea it becomes easy to see why past trauma can affect our present behaviour so very very deeply.

I also share how we can make connections between two things that may, on the surface feel entirely paradoxical. For example, both of my parents smoked for almost the whole of my life and so, I ended up associating the smell of cigarettes with the love I received from, and feel toward, my parents. And after my mother died I often would smell cigarettes when no one was smoking anywhere near me. An expression of my loving memory of her.

The invitation, as always, is to explore what associations you are potentially making, that may be driving or influencing your own behaviours.

Henny x

To connect and explore your own path: https://www.hennyflynn.co.uk/

Support the show

***

A piece of quiet
Your weekly pause - a calming relaxation practice, every Wednesday. A few minutes to settle, a few minutes to write. First aid for the soul.
Join here - use the code PEACE for 20% off your first year

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Sign up to hear more - and only receive what speaks to you.
Join the list here

everyday ♡ compassion
Tiny reminders of self-love and presence, delivered three times a week.
Subscribe here

Free Events & Small Group Courses
Explore the power of Flow Journaling, self-compassion and gentle change in a supportive space.
See what’s on

Solo Retreats at Bach Brook
Rest, reflect and reconnect – fully supported in a place of deep natural beauty.
Retreat with me

Books, Journaling Resources & Self-paced Courses
Explore tools for inner connection and compassionate growth.
Visit the library

Free 20-minute Call
Explore whether coaching could support what’s calling for change.
...

Tap to send me your reflections ♡

Tanya came to her life work as a leadership coach after years in an outwardly successful but ultimately unsatisfying career in advertising. 

She suffered, a lot, from a myriad of “not good enough, not smart enough, not ready” beliefs. Any success she enjoyed she chalked up to someone else having made a mistake. She thought it was just a matter of time before they found out she was a fake. 

It took the passing of her mother to get her “unstuck”. After she left, she heard — really heard — her lifelong mantra for the first time: Don’t Postpone Joy

In this deep and broad conversation, Tanya unpacks Imposter Complex for us. She shares how it manifests and what can sit beneath it.

This is a RICH and rewarding discussion. Tanya is passionate about her work and delivers it all with love and humanity.

I truly loved speaking with her - and I think you'll love listening.

To connect with Tanya or listen to her TEDx talk...
TanyaGeisler.com https://tanyageisler.com/
TEDxTalk http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J3Em-IIAQ6I&feature=youtu.be

Support the show

***

A piece of quiet
Your weekly pause - a calming relaxation practice, every Wednesday. A few minutes to settle, a few minutes to write. First aid for the soul.
Join here - use the code PEACE for 20% off your first year

Let’s stay connected
Sign up to hear more - and only receive what speaks to you.
Join the list here

everyday ♡ compassion
Tiny reminders of self-love and presence, delivered three times a week.
Subscribe here

Free Events & Small Group Courses
Explore the power of Flow Journaling, self-compassion and gentle change in a supportive space.
See what’s on

Solo Retreats at Bach Brook
Rest, reflect and reconnect – fully supported in a place of deep natural beauty.
Retreat with me

Books, Journaling Resources & Self-paced Courses
Explore tools for inner connection and compassionate growth.
Visit the library

Free 20-minute Call
Explore whether coaching could support what’s calling for change.
...

Tap to send me your reflections ♡

When we were kids at the school gate we all knew there were unwritten rules of which group you COULD belong to, which you’d ASPIRE to belong to and which you’d never want to belong to. We might not have always understood the rules - but we thought we knew that others knew them.

Connecting with people who feel like a good fit for us - that's really what it means to find our tribe.

And, as we move through life into adulthood, we might find we’ve surrounded ourselves with people who aren’t actually our tribe... or that those we THOUGHT were our tribe, no longer quite fit in the way they used to.

There can be so many reasons beneath this but essentially, it’s ok to be choiceful about who and where we spend out time. Of course we can't choose EVERY person we spend time with - we may go to work, or spend time in our community or have complex family relationships but...

Remembering our time is PRECIOUS is key.

So who is in your tribe?

Who nourishes you?

And if you’re not sure that you’re spending your time with the people who really get you, what can you do to make that happen?

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***

A piece of quiet
Your weekly pause - a calming relaxation practice, every Wednesday. A few minutes to settle, a few minutes to write. First aid for the soul.
Join here - use the code PEACE for 20% off your first year

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Sign up to hear more - and only receive what speaks to you.
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everyday ♡ compassion
Tiny reminders of self-love and presence, delivered three times a week.
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Free Events & Small Group Courses
Explore the power of Flow Journaling, self-compassion and gentle change in a supportive space.
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Rest, reflect and reconnect – fully supported in a place of deep natural beauty.
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Explore tools for inner connection and compassionate growth.
Visit the library

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Explore whether coaching could support what’s calling for change.
...

Tap to send me your reflections ♡

Sophie is a holistic health coach with 30 yrs experience in the field of nutrition with a background in Traditional Chinese Medicine and Western Naturopathy. 

She talks fondly and with deep respect of the training she completed with Barbara Wren who created the College of Natural Nutrition. And of how Barbara, now in her 80s, developed her own philosophy of health incorporating universal wisdom as well as diet and holistic paradigms such as naturopathy, Traditional Chinese Medicine and homeopathy. 

During our conversation today, we talk of how hormonal imbalances can be influenced by the rhythms around us AND by our spiritual / psychological balance - and the value of bringing in the nutritional needs of the body, as a holistic approach. 

Sophie shares her thoughts on how we are inextricably connected to the rhythms of the universe and when we dance with those rhythms we are in balance. She speaks of the impact of the lunar cycle and the equinoxes and solstices, the seasons, astrological changes as well as naturopathic techniques.

We also touch on John Gray’s work (and his recent book: Beyond Mars and Venus), where he shares the science behind our differences as men and women and the influence on our hormone balance. Sophie talks of how if a woman is too far on her masculine side, she will imbalance her hormones. And of how returning to her natural interdependent state to experience support and connection with another or others can, in turn, help adjust her hormonal balance.  

As ever this is a wide and varied conversation and I hope there is something here for EVERYONE - regardless of gender. Because finding and continually adjusting to a state of balance in our lives is something that benefits us ALL.

To connect with Sophie: https://www.fullernutrition.com/

BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS

The Surrender Experiment & The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer 

Cellular Awakening & Our Return to the Light by Barbara Wren 

Beyond Mars and Venus by John Gray 

The Biology of Belief by Bruce Lipton

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***

A piece of quiet
Your weekly pause - a calming relaxation practice, every Wednesday. A few minutes to settle, a few minutes to write. First aid for the soul.
Join here - use the code PEACE for 20% off your first year

Let’s stay connected
Sign up to hear more - and only receive what speaks to you.
Join the list here

everyday ♡ compassion
Tiny reminders of self-love and presence, delivered three times a week.
Subscribe here

Free Events & Small Group Courses
Explore the power of Flow Journaling, self-compassion and gentle change in a supportive space.
See what’s on

Solo Retreats at Bach Brook
Rest, reflect and reconnect – fully supported in a place of deep natural beauty.
Retreat with me

Books, Journaling Resources & Self-paced Courses
Explore tools for inner connection and compassionate growth.
Visit the library

Free 20-minute Call
Explore whether coaching could support what’s calling for change.
...

Tap to send me your reflections ♡

I used to believe that if I made a change in my life, I would transform in some way.

That I’d become something OTHER than who I was. And that ‘otherness’ meant I’d become somehow ‘better’. 

And that’s how I used to approach the changes I wanted to make. With the core belief, underneath all the good intentions, that I wasn’t quite good enough as I was.

I applied that thinking to the desire to lose weight, stop smoking, getting fitter, being a better daughter, sister, student, colleague, partner, mother, friend.

And so I’d keep trying to do those things, and I’d keep failing.

And it wasn’t until I realised that I needed to get underneath all those beliefs about my own self-worth that I was able to make the changes I really wanted to make.

This exploration of what lay beneath the things I used to hide behind, resulted in me revealing more and more of who I really am. It's what led to me recognising that while we might think that we’re 'transforming', actually…

Each moment of CHANGE is really about RELEASING the brittle barriers we had put in place to protect ourselves. And, as they DISSOLVE, we are finally able to FEEL into who we are UNDERNEATH it all.

We are revealed. And we find that we are enough - and not too much - exactly as we are.

For more bonus episodes and access to the latest teachings, join the mailing list, it would be wonderful to have you part of our lovely community.

JOIN NOW : https://mailchi.mp/c3a1fbc27c5e/connect

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***

A piece of quiet
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Sign up to hear more - and only receive what speaks to you.
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everyday ♡ compassion
Tiny reminders of self-love and presence, delivered three times a week.
Subscribe here

Free Events & Small Group Courses
Explore the power of Flow Journaling, self-compassion and gentle change in a supportive space.
See what’s on

Solo Retreats at Bach Brook
Rest, reflect and reconnect – fully supported in a place of deep natural beauty.
Retreat with me

Books, Journaling Resources & Self-paced Courses
Explore tools for inner connection and compassionate growth.
Visit the library

Free 20-minute Call
Explore whether coaching could support what’s calling for change.
...