everyday compassion with Henny Flynn

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Many of us feel we’d love to rid ourselves of the things we are afraid of… yet, often they’re the things we cling to - a foundational layer to our limiting beliefs, they often form part of what we believe makes us, US. 

And getting to know them - really seeing what they are, where they spring from, who we inherited them from or how they have built over time is a powerful part of deepening self-awareness WITH profound self-compassion, of course...

In this episode I explore some of my own limiting beliefs and share how they can become conflated with other beliefs, leaving us in a knotty tangle.

I also share 3 steps that can help us when our limiting beliefs feel like they're trapping us.

Finally, I share the last words my own mother ever said to me - and how I see them as the universal words of maternal love. Not in the sense of mother / child but in the sense of universal love and how we learn to parent ourselves in our adulthood.

There is a Journaling prompt with this episode:
Untangling my limiting belief, with love

For more on Journaling, explore the Journaling Quests
https://www.hennyflynn.co.uk/journaling-quest

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Do you meditate? If yes, then it's very likely you've experienced the wandering mind.

For me it's my almost constant companion when I meditate!

The wonderful Tara Brach offers us guidance to simply say to ourselves: "thinking thinking", every time we notice our mind wandering. 

This episode was inspired by another technique (unfortunately I can't recall who it was who shared it!)

Essentially it is to call out what KIND of thinking we’re doing. We’re often lost in rumination OR speculation - while the bit in the middle is the meditation. 

So I’m offering up a meditation practice today - an opportunity to feel into whether this expanded approach is useful for you too.

I'd love to hear your thoughts. And if you know of another formal practice that uses this kind of technique I would LOVE to hear about it!

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There are geographical places in the world where the distance between heaven and Earth collapses*. 

They are called 'thin places'. 

It's a term that comes from the ancient Celts and there may be places you have been in your life that have felt like a thin place - where you've felt that distance between heaven and earth contract. 

And for me, times of change often feel like the barriers we've erected between ourselves and the outer world get THINNER.

And

The barriers we've erected over the years between ourselves and our INNER world get thinner too.

In my own life I’ve inhabited a number of thin places. Times when my sensitivity to the world around me - and the world inside me - has become heightened.

It can feel challenging and vulnerable and difficult to manage.

And

It is part of waking up to our true selves.

JOURNALING PROMPT
What does a 'thin place' feel like to me?

REFERENCES
*Eric Weiner - Man Seeks God

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Every year, Susan has a word. A word that accompanies her on her journey through the year. This year it’s resonance.

It sparked a series of thoughts, because at the time she shared it with me we were both feeling into the new year. 

We were both also feeling bombarded by the often frantic demands of the emails and social posts telling us it was time to BEGIN, time for something NEW, time to throw out the old and leap into this new year.

And we were both feeling exhausted by it - and for me it sent me back under my duvet to hibernate a little longer.

So it feels interesting - and ALIGNED - to be recording this at the end of January & sharing it at the beginning of Feb. Not a time we ordinarily talk about beginnings. But this is about beginnings with RESONANCE. This is about beginnings that feel ALIGNED with who we really are, and where we are at.

Through our exploration, we touch on five key areas...

• The connection between RESONANCE & BEGINNINGS
• The paradoxes and contradictions in beginnings - resistance vs excitement
• Learning how to - and the importance of - 'begin again' 
• The difference between the ACT of beginning & the STATE of being a beginner
• Is there any such thing as a beginning? 

I also offer a couple of JOURNALING PROMPTS: 

• Is there any such thing as a beginning?
• Is there any such thing as an ending?

You'll also hear in the intro that I talk about the moon, and her natural cycles of beginning and ending. And there feels something particularly beautiful about releasing this episode on a Full Moon.

Susan and I would love to hear your thoughts. What does this whole idea of Beginning with Resonance spark for you?

Henny x

PS: it wasn’t two and a half years ago that Anton turned 50 - he’s younger than I made him out to be!

CONNECT WITH SUSAN

Susan J. McCulley
Nourishing Mindful Movement Teacher / Artist / Writer susanmcculley.com

Founder & Facilitator of The Age of Becoming Facebook Group

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Just as we can become 'nose blind', (made famous by those adverts that highlighted how we can stop smelling things we've been accustomed to), this episode is a canter through the idea that we can also become 'stress blind'.

And that (sometimes) when we spend some time away from the source of the stress, we return and suddenly realise how dominant that sense of stress really is.

Then slowly, slowly we become acclimatised again and that awareness of what's really impacting us slips into the background. And becomes once more unseen.

The practice here is SEEING, and then with that INSIGHT, exploring what action we can take.

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My guest today is Katty Douraghy.

Her memoir, The Butterfly Years: A Journey Through Grief Toward Hope, details her personal journey through grief. 

Katty is beautifully honest about the complexity of her experiences, and along the way, I also share some of the stories I told myself when my own mother died. It means this is another deeply tender conversation. And I offer my love and compassion to you as you listen.

Self-compassion can feel particularly hard to access when we experience loss. But as Katty notes, 'we’re all going to grieve in our own way' and I love this recognition. We can even hold harsh self-judgment over the way we grieve (and how we see others' grief). 

Loving ourselves through loss is vital.
​
Journaling was the path that helped Katty as she moved through the phases of her experience, and helped her access a powerful truth: “Recognising what I still had, rather than focussing on what I had lost was a turning point for me.”

And it is this practice of journalling that she shares to support others in their own journeys. 

CONNECT WITH KATTY
[email protected]
www.ButterflyYears.com

The Butterfly Years: A Journey Through Grief Toward Hope
“It is surprising how few books there are that deal with first hand accounts of grief, especially of a parent, when it is such a universal experience. The Butterfly Years fills that gap in a beautiful, honest way.” 

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everyday ♡ compassion
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"In any relationship, the outcome of highest service to each other - and the world around us - is authenticity and love. If we stifle one, the other is likely to falter."

This phrase landed fully formed in my head in the middle of the night. 

I scrabbled for my phone to hold onto the words, lest they did what most midnight thoughts do… and drifted away or morphed into something unintelligible. 

Since then I’ve been reflecting on this and, well, it still feels true. 

It’s inspired this podcast episode and I reached out to my Instagram community to help shape where the episode goes. 

I asked some questions, and received some wonderful answers - some of which I share in the episode.

• Does this feel true to you too? Or does it feel untrue?
• Does it feel possible that we can always show up as ourselves with a compassionate heart? Or does ‘always’ just feel impossible?

There are so many different types of relationships we all have with so many different people. And I'm deeply aware that it doesn't always feel possible to stand in that place of authenticity and love - and that part of doing so means having clear boundaries that enable us to be fully present and compassionate and stay safe (in whatever way is needed).

I'd love to hear your thoughts x

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A piece of quiet
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everyday ♡ compassion
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This episode is about how we can be drawn by things we think we want but they can sometimes seem impossible to attain.

Like moving jobs - we might find ourselves often retelling the same story of how we 'should' be doing something else / hate what we’re doing / want to move on - but year after year find ourselves still working in the same way at the same place.

And there’s an important point about that phrase ‘working in the same way’ - often the change that’s needed ISN’T about WHERE we work or even WHO we work with but HOW we work.

And we may even find that learning to love where we are can become PART of our INNER WORK of learning to love WHO we are - seeing what it teaches us, how we can keep deepening our self-awareness until we understand WHY choices we’ve made in the past  have brought ourselves to this place in our life.

And from there, change can start to feel much more possible.

Alongside this, there's the question of how we can access and harness our INNER FIRE in order to help motivate our actions towards what truly serves us. Understanding that the EXTERNAL DESIRE may not always be highlighting our own best path forward.

I hope you enjoy this exploration. And, as ever, I'd love to hear your thoughts, challenges, additions, reflections. 

With love
Henny x

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everyday ♡ compassion
Tiny reminders of self-love and presence, delivered three times a week.
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Free Events & Small Group Courses
Explore the power of Flow Journaling, self-compassion and gentle change in a supportive space.
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Solo Retreats at Bach Brook
Rest, reflect and reconnect – fully supported in a place of deep natural beauty.
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Explore tools for inner connection and compassionate growth.
Visit the library

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I can’t take credit for today’s title - it came from Anton, as he was listening to me reflect on something from my past. (He’s good with words!)

The concept of SYSTEMIC behaviours, beliefs, attitudes etc is part of my training. They're something I look for to support clients in understanding what’s informing their experience of the life they live.

Through coaching we can gain sight of the SYSTEMS we’ve been part of in the past / are still part of. And we can support ourselves in disentangling from the threads that bind us to the patterns we’ve adopted, inherited or adapted to - so we can make the changes we desire.

This is a theme you may have noticed runs through many of these podcast episodes - overtly and discretely - so today, in the last of this series, I thought we’d spend a little time exploring the idea of the systems AND, specifically what Systemic Rebellion may mean to you.

To join the Affirmation Practice event on 11 November 2022 3pm-4.15pm (GMT)
https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/affirmation-practice-tickets-445311246927

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A piece of quiet
Your weekly pause - a calming relaxation practice, every Wednesday. A few minutes to settle, a few minutes to write. First aid for the soul.
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everyday ♡ compassion
Tiny reminders of self-love and presence, delivered three times a week.
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Free Events & Small Group Courses
Explore the power of Flow Journaling, self-compassion and gentle change in a supportive space.
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Solo Retreats at Bach Brook
Rest, reflect and reconnect – fully supported in a place of deep natural beauty.
Retreat with me

Books, Journaling Resources & Self-paced Courses
Explore tools for inner connection and compassionate growth.
Visit the library

Free 20-minute Call
Explore whether coaching could support what’s calling for change.
...

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This one is a bit of meander through my mind! Sorry about that...

It comes from something I noticed a long time ago, when I first began my own journey of waking up to who I was inside all the stories and beliefs I carried. There's often lots of focus on feeling unworthy / not enough - but it rarely seems we talk about what happens if you feel you’re too much.

In the episode I share:

• My experience (hence the mind meander)
• The feeling of BELONGING
• All about how we perceive ourselves - rather than seeing the world through the lens of what we believe other people see
• The impact it can have on distorted body imagery 
• The state of BELONGING is an INTERNAL one

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A piece of quiet
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everyday ♡ compassion
Tiny reminders of self-love and presence, delivered three times a week.
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Free Events & Small Group Courses
Explore the power of Flow Journaling, self-compassion and gentle change in a supportive space.
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Solo Retreats at Bach Brook
Rest, reflect and reconnect – fully supported in a place of deep natural beauty.
Retreat with me

Books, Journaling Resources & Self-paced Courses
Explore tools for inner connection and compassionate growth.
Visit the library

Free 20-minute Call
Explore whether coaching could support what’s calling for change.
...