everyday compassion with Henny Flynn

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“It is literally neurobiologically impossible to think deeply about things that you don’t care about” Mary Helen Immordio-Yang of the University of Southern California*.

Of course.

This statement feels SO obvious! (Like the truest things often are)

If you’re like me, you’ll see so many situations where it applies - school, jobs, even the books we read.

AND

With this insight, we can see:

To be able to think deeply about ourselves (and create change in our lives) we have to care ABOUT ourselves.

Without that, it’s impossible to maintain our motivation for change.

It’s why, for me, ALL change begins with self-compassion.

*Thank you to my biggest big brother for sharing this gem with me!

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I’ve been pondering the idea of ‘success’. 

1. What is it? 
2. What does it mean when we do or don’t achieve it? 
3. How does our perception of it change, as we change?

When I consider what I used to consider being successful meant, and how I look at what I consider to be success today… there are marked distinctions. Though I expect that if I’d drilled in when I was younger, the things I feel are most important now would still have been there, at the centre of things, then.

• Connection with others.
• Self-worth.
• Good communication.
• A willingness to deal with difficult things face on.
• Compassion for myself… and others.

These are all things that it would be hard for anyone to deny are important success factors in any life.

And yet, we often devalue them in favour of other stuff.

The article of this episode is also published through my LinkedIn page - to read it, come & find me: https://www.linkedin.com/in/henny-flynn/

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At the most recent Journaling Gathering in June, one of the areas we discussed was how our journal can become a wise and trusted friend. Someone we can turn to in times of doubt, loss, crisis, pain - as well as times of energy, excitement, ambition, hope and joy.

I work with my journal in much the same way I work with those I’ve asked to walk beside me at times in my life - coach, friend, therapist. And as I write that, I can also see the work I do, when I walk beside others, as being almost a speaking journal. A mirror to reflect back, a container to hold space, an intuitive voice to respond.

I also find it useful sometimes to return to past journals and see what wisdom came through at the time of writing. A gentle - and often very appropriate reminder - of wisdom I already hold within, that simply needed refreshing.

So, today, when I was considering what to share here, I turned to an old journal...

Come along to the next Journaling Gathering, on Sunday Sept 24 at 11am - to book, click here: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/580182761257?aff=oddtdtcreator

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This season feels largely inspired by statements we may have absorbed as children & the impact they can have in our lives.

This one (Too big for your boots) may sound like something you’ve heard in your time? Or maybe you recognise the essence of it in the judgemental things you have perhaps heard yourself say to your Self.

It’s also tied to ‘pride comes before a fall’ (that’s one of mine) and ‘who do you think you are’ - so it’s also related to episode 3 of this season, where I explored my reflections after hearing a mother say ‘how dare you’ to her child.

Before we begin, it’s essential to frame these explorations in compassion. Recognising that phrases like this can be an expression of profound love - a learnt means of trying to keep a loved one safe from harm.

And.

And exploring them, recognising how they may have influenced us in our lives can be a profound expression of self love - an acquired means of helping ourselves grow, outside of what may have confined us in the past.

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How dare you?

I overheard someone saying this to their child the other day.

You can imagine the tone of voice, the outrage, anger, shame and blame that filled the words.

I say this without judgement on that parent. I suspect it was something she had heard said to her as a child - normalised through conditioning, it had become something that felt like ‘something parents say’.

Often we repeat the things we received, heard, experienced as children. We might not even see them as something that hurt us or caused us pain at the time… and yet, when we look a little closer, when we stand in the shoes of our younger selves, we can perhaps see that there could (perhaps) have been another way.

In this episode we explore how we can reframe 'limiting' phrases that we may have absorbed in our younger years...

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Here’s a slightly alarming statistic - 40-60% of women will struggle with sleep during menopause.

This statistic is something we shared in a piece of work I’m currently collaborating on. It’s part of the corporate work I do, delivering a whole range of menopause support into organisations - in this instance, a company that’s chosen menopause as a key well-being focal point for this year.

One of our areas of focus has been sleep - because, as the statistic shows us - sleep is a major factor for so many women in peri-menopause. And it can be an ongoing factor throughout menopause and beyond. 

However, sleep can be something that challenges us all - regardless of age, gender or life stage.

And, with the warmer nights of summer, it feels like maybe it’s a good thing to spend a little time exploring.

Personally, I love the wisdom that sits inside the title for today’s episode: A good night's sleep starts in the morning

It feels to me like it’s wisdom that can we can apply to so many things. Everything begins far earlier than we realise - I often reflect that changes we make in our lives have been happening far longer than we might realise. That deep subconscious reshaping of what we believe it’s possible to change begins way way way before we have the conscious thought that something needs to change.

And in the same way, when we shift our attention for a good night’s sleep onto the moment we wake, we begin to help ease some of the tension we might notice can build up just before sleep - especially if we’re assuming, predicting it’s not going to come.

Keep listening for some really practical tips and tools you may find useful if you ever, like so many of us, find sleep hard to find.

To explore sleep - https://drkatsleep.com/meet-dr-kat/
For menopause support - https://mpowder.store/
See Season 4 Episode 5 for the original interview with Dr Kat Lederle 

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everyday ♡ compassion
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...

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When we are rigid, fixed in our thinking, we become immobile, stuck in our ways.

When we are fluid, flexible in our thinking, we become open; more aware of the options available to us. And so change and growth become part of the natural order of things - rather than something to be feared or geared up for.

This isn’t a new theme for us here. But it is a new reflection on it.

The crux of this episode is seeing how we can extend our thinking, our reflecting, our considering out beyond the borders of what we previously believed.

And, in that way, we become infinite in our capacity to change… and grow.

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everyday ♡ compassion
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A little bonus episode to bridge the gap from season 10 to season 11.

A reflection on Wisdom from Within - on how we can tap into it whenever we need it - and a letter written from my wisest inner self.

To explore your own Wisdom from Within, and meet your wise Inner Guide, take a look at this special ImageWork recording https://hennyflynn.ck.page/9ca85eeaaf

This is something you can return to again and again, whenever you're looking for guidance.

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A foray into procrastination - inspired by a conversation, a realisation and a faltering intention.

There is so much richness to be explored about the whole topic of procrastination and the friend I mention at the beginning of this episode is someone I'd love to bring onto the show, so she can share some of her reflections on it. To connect with Saranne - find her here https://www.instagram.com/thesaranneday/

But this episode is about a tiny aspect of procrastination - something I have noticed in myself about what can get in my way when I FEEL I want to do something purely for myself but I THINK I need to do something else first.

There is SO much more that can be explored here. This is a toe-dip into the topic. Maybe is sparks some reflection for you too.

See you in series 11 - and in the meantime it would be wonderful to see you at...

Wisdom from Within
17 June '23 10.30-12.00 BST https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/623777383947

Journaling Quest Gathering
25 June '23 11.00-12.00 BST https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/580179060187

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A piece of quiet
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everyday ♡ compassion
Tiny reminders of self-love and presence, delivered three times a week.
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Solo Retreats at Bach Brook
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Visit the library

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This is a meander through a theme that connects three poems from My darling girl 2.

The theme of being seen.

But this is not about being seen by others (though that can feel vital at times), it's about seeing ourselves, as we truly are. In all our pain and our magnificence*.

With love.



*I owe credit for that phrase 'pain and magnificence' to my teacher Dr Dina Glouberman - have a listen to episode 7 of this season for more from her. She's definitely worth listening to!

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A piece of quiet
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everyday ♡ compassion
Tiny reminders of self-love and presence, delivered three times a week.
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Free Events & Small Group Courses
Explore the power of Flow Journaling, self-compassion and gentle change in a supportive space.
See what’s on

Solo Retreats at Bach Brook
Rest, reflect and reconnect – fully supported in a place of deep natural beauty.
Retreat with me

Books, Journaling Resources & Self-paced Courses
Explore tools for inner connection and compassionate growth.
Visit the library

Free 20-minute Call
Explore whether coaching could support what’s calling for change.
...