everyday compassion with Henny Flynn

Tap to send me your reflections ♡

I debated about whether to call this the art of forgiveness OR the art of SELF-forgiveness - and the second one won out… for reasons I’ll share.

We’re often told as children that we have to forgive another child for hitting us, hurting us, taking the toy we really wanted.

We’re taught we need to be the bigger, better person and RISE ABOVE the lowly behaviour shown by the other child.

This is curious in many ways.

Because embedded within that are SO many messages - not all of them that helpful. And I'll explore some of these as we go.

And while we might have been taught we 'must' forgive others, there is also the view that the only place forgiveness is truly valuable is in forgiving ourselves.

And that can be the hardest thing of all.

Listen in to hear more about why it may not be our 'place' to forgive others - and how we can learn to forgive ourselves.

Support the show

***

A piece of quiet
Your weekly pause - a calming relaxation practice, every Wednesday. A few minutes to settle, a few minutes to write. First aid for the soul.
Join here - use the code PEACE for 20% off your first year

Let’s stay connected
Sign up to hear more - and only receive what speaks to you.
Join the list here

everyday ♡ compassion
Tiny reminders of self-love and presence, delivered three times a week.
Subscribe here

Free Events & Small Group Courses
Explore the power of Flow Journaling, self-compassion and gentle change in a supportive space.
See what’s on

Solo Retreats at Bach Brook
Rest, reflect and reconnect – fully supported in a place of deep natural beauty.
Retreat with me

Books, Journaling Resources & Self-paced Courses
Explore tools for inner connection and compassionate growth.
Visit the library

Free 20-minute Call
Explore whether coaching could support what’s calling for change.
...

Tap to send me your reflections ♡

My guest today is psychotherapist, writer, international trainer, and world expert in imagery based therapies, Dr Dina Glouberman. 

The co-founder/director (since 1979) of Skyros Holistic Holidays, Dina is also the founder/director of the Aurora Centre in Southern Italy; training therapists, counsellors, and consultants in ImageWork.

This is a frank and generous exploration of what led Dina to develop her pioneering ImageWork therapy - touching on painful stories from her past and revealing the transformation that can come from purposeful exploration of imagery and visualisation.

Dina began her work as a psychotherapist in the early 1960s and continues to share her life-long learnings with others through her books, courses and the diploma in ImageWork - first run this year (2023).

At the end of our conversation, Dina says: “We’re all in this together”. 

To me that feels like the most fitting phrase; it sums up the deep connection Dina offers those who work with her. And it speaks to our universal connection - with others and with our Self.

I am so honoured to be sharing this conversation with you today. Dina is one of my own teachers and I have seen first hand the beneficial power of ImageWork, both with my own clients and through my own experience.

If you’re curious to find out more, see Dina’s website - and if you’re a practitioner and want to learn how to use ImageWork with your clients, take a look at the Diploma course running in 2024. I have loved my own process of deepening my knowledge.

*****
CONNECT WITH DINA

https://www.dinaglouberman.com/

BOOKS BY DINA

Life Choices, Life Changes

The Joy of Burnout

You Are What You Imagine

Into the Woods and Out Again

ImageWork - a guide for practitioners and counsellors

*****

EXPERIENCE ImageWork

Join my next live on-line event - June 17 '23 - 10.30-12 (BST): Wisdom from Within   

We'll be quietening the noisy chattering of the conscious mind and taking an inner journey to explore the transformativ

Support the show

***

A piece of quiet
Your weekly pause - a calming relaxation practice, every Wednesday. A few minutes to settle, a few minutes to write. First aid for the soul.
Join here - use the code PEACE for 20% off your first year

Let’s stay connected
Sign up to hear more - and only receive what speaks to you.
Join the list here

everyday ♡ compassion
Tiny reminders of self-love and presence, delivered three times a week.
Subscribe here

Free Events & Small Group Courses
Explore the power of Flow Journaling, self-compassion and gentle change in a supportive space.
See what’s on

Solo Retreats at Bach Brook
Rest, reflect and reconnect – fully supported in a place of deep natural beauty.
Retreat with me

Books, Journaling Resources & Self-paced Courses
Explore tools for inner connection and compassionate growth.
Visit the library

Free 20-minute Call
Explore whether coaching could support what’s calling for change.
...

Tap to send me your reflections ♡

At times self-compassion can feel like a hard thing to find.

We may have been conditioned through our life experiences to see it as something unimportant or selfish and yet, our deepest wisest Self has an innate understanding that it’s something we all need.

I’ve recently created a short course for the InsightTimer App that offers up 3 deceptively simple tools that I think of as ‘first aid’ - or ‘practical compassion’ in action.

3 quick steps to help you access self-compassion when it feels needed or when it feels hard to find.

And while each of them are simple to put into practice, they represent a profound choice: the decision to choose your own mental and physical well-being as being worthy of your attention. The decision to choose your Self, over any stories you may carry that might lead you in another way.

And these 3 practical compassion tools are all things you can return to again and again in your day.

Your body will never get tired of being given this kind of kind attention.

Check out the InsightTimer course - with a fuller explanation of each of these tools, across 3 lessons, with mindful moments to accompany each lesson https://insighttimer.com/meditation-courses/uVlsX5hyGD020lmHVAst

Support the show

***

A piece of quiet
Your weekly pause - a calming relaxation practice, every Wednesday. A few minutes to settle, a few minutes to write. First aid for the soul.
Join here - use the code PEACE for 20% off your first year

Let’s stay connected
Sign up to hear more - and only receive what speaks to you.
Join the list here

everyday ♡ compassion
Tiny reminders of self-love and presence, delivered three times a week.
Subscribe here

Free Events & Small Group Courses
Explore the power of Flow Journaling, self-compassion and gentle change in a supportive space.
See what’s on

Solo Retreats at Bach Brook
Rest, reflect and reconnect – fully supported in a place of deep natural beauty.
Retreat with me

Books, Journaling Resources & Self-paced Courses
Explore tools for inner connection and compassionate growth.
Visit the library

Free 20-minute Call
Explore whether coaching could support what’s calling for change.
...

Tap to send me your reflections ♡

Today's episode is a romp through wordy things.

Headlines are:

• We bandy words about and use them without thinking
• Words can have multiple meanings - including ones we haven't been consciously aware of
• The words we use influence our behaviours and the choices we make
• The word 'should' is a shame-based word (maybe not always - but it's an interesting perspective)
• Replacing 'should' with 'could' opens us up to new possibilities
• Our unconscious usage of language  can express our profound awareness of what we’re experiencing inside
• Freud said we ‘leak’ what we're experiencing under the surface of what we think we’re saying
• Always notice with love
• Affirmations can be POWERFUL tools for change - positive language in the present tense
• My box of  LoveWords© — I might share this one day - or make your own!

And finally, I share a marvellous quote about words from Khalil Gibran. It's worth listening just for that!

With love, always
Henny x

Support the show

***

A piece of quiet
Your weekly pause - a calming relaxation practice, every Wednesday. A few minutes to settle, a few minutes to write. First aid for the soul.
Join here - use the code PEACE for 20% off your first year

Let’s stay connected
Sign up to hear more - and only receive what speaks to you.
Join the list here

everyday ♡ compassion
Tiny reminders of self-love and presence, delivered three times a week.
Subscribe here

Free Events & Small Group Courses
Explore the power of Flow Journaling, self-compassion and gentle change in a supportive space.
See what’s on

Solo Retreats at Bach Brook
Rest, reflect and reconnect – fully supported in a place of deep natural beauty.
Retreat with me

Books, Journaling Resources & Self-paced Courses
Explore tools for inner connection and compassionate growth.
Visit the library

Free 20-minute Call
Explore whether coaching could support what’s calling for change.
...

Tap to send me your reflections ♡

Change lightly - it doesn’t mean don’t change or don’t change a lot, it simply means change with grace.

Often when we embark on change it can feel like a heavy thing

We fill it with all kinds of rules and denials and strictures. It becomes a burden perhaps.

In this episode, I share 3 things that can make us feel change MUST be DIFFICULT… 

• Our tendency to see changes as problems rather than opportunities
• Taking on so much it becomes overwhelming
• Seeing change as a hard-edged thing

And in response, I explore this idea of changing lightly and how introducing the idea of grace can help us change how we see change, to become more compassionate, curious and courageous.

I also share one of my favourite quotes - which relates so beautifully to the title for this episode.

JOURNALING PROMPT
What does change lightly mean to you?

REFERENCES
The Heart of Change, by Henny Flynn https://www.hennyflynn.co.uk/books

Support the show

***

A piece of quiet
Your weekly pause - a calming relaxation practice, every Wednesday. A few minutes to settle, a few minutes to write. First aid for the soul.
Join here - use the code PEACE for 20% off your first year

Let’s stay connected
Sign up to hear more - and only receive what speaks to you.
Join the list here

everyday ♡ compassion
Tiny reminders of self-love and presence, delivered three times a week.
Subscribe here

Free Events & Small Group Courses
Explore the power of Flow Journaling, self-compassion and gentle change in a supportive space.
See what’s on

Solo Retreats at Bach Brook
Rest, reflect and reconnect – fully supported in a place of deep natural beauty.
Retreat with me

Books, Journaling Resources & Self-paced Courses
Explore tools for inner connection and compassionate growth.
Visit the library

Free 20-minute Call
Explore whether coaching could support what’s calling for change.
...

Tap to send me your reflections ♡

Sometimes we carry beliefs or stories we think belong to us. 

But sometimes we’ve picked them up from others along the way of our life. 

Perhaps inheriting them from care givers; adopting or adapting the stories and beliefs they, in turn, inherited from their care givers. 

And so we can see how things get passed down the family line. Each generation believing it (whatever ‘it’ is) belongs to them. Each generation picking up burdens that they could (potentially) just as easily put down. 

The curious thing about this phenomena is that it can relate to big things - beliefs about love, money, morality. Or small, on the surface insignificant, things that somehow can still have a big(ish) impact. 

I share a simple story of this from my own history to help illustrate how having a deeper awareness of what informs us can help us choose what we want to keep... and what we might want to return to those we learnt it from.

In this episode, I also share a poem from My darling girl vol. 2 that touches on this theme.
To order your copy from the very first print run of this brand new collection: https://buy.stripe.com/9AQ6rY5k825Gc5a14h
LAST ORDERS 10 May 2023

Support the show

***

A piece of quiet
Your weekly pause - a calming relaxation practice, every Wednesday. A few minutes to settle, a few minutes to write. First aid for the soul.
Join here - use the code PEACE for 20% off your first year

Let’s stay connected
Sign up to hear more - and only receive what speaks to you.
Join the list here

everyday ♡ compassion
Tiny reminders of self-love and presence, delivered three times a week.
Subscribe here

Free Events & Small Group Courses
Explore the power of Flow Journaling, self-compassion and gentle change in a supportive space.
See what’s on

Solo Retreats at Bach Brook
Rest, reflect and reconnect – fully supported in a place of deep natural beauty.
Retreat with me

Books, Journaling Resources & Self-paced Courses
Explore tools for inner connection and compassionate growth.
Visit the library

Free 20-minute Call
Explore whether coaching could support what’s calling for change.
...

Tap to send me your reflections ♡

By stepping away we create space for ideas to form.

This is in direct contrast to the culture of HUSTLE, which can make us believe we HAVE to keep going. Keep up with the OUTPUT and never minding the INPUT.  But that way not only exhaustion & burnout lie - also our creativity suffers.

And that's what we're exploring today.

I could have called this: Procrastination, percolation, avoidance & flow PART 2 - have a listen to episode 3 of season 8 for part 1!

Today's episode also comes with a JOURNALING PROMPT:
How could it help me to step away?

Henny x

PS: I tried to take a picture of my percolation board but the photo didn’t do it justice. You'll just have to imagine - or create your own!

Support the show

***

A piece of quiet
Your weekly pause - a calming relaxation practice, every Wednesday. A few minutes to settle, a few minutes to write. First aid for the soul.
Join here - use the code PEACE for 20% off your first year

Let’s stay connected
Sign up to hear more - and only receive what speaks to you.
Join the list here

everyday ♡ compassion
Tiny reminders of self-love and presence, delivered three times a week.
Subscribe here

Free Events & Small Group Courses
Explore the power of Flow Journaling, self-compassion and gentle change in a supportive space.
See what’s on

Solo Retreats at Bach Brook
Rest, reflect and reconnect – fully supported in a place of deep natural beauty.
Retreat with me

Books, Journaling Resources & Self-paced Courses
Explore tools for inner connection and compassionate growth.
Visit the library

Free 20-minute Call
Explore whether coaching could support what’s calling for change.
...

Tap to send me your reflections ♡

Today we're doing something a little different. And you'll hear I'm a little nervous!

I have asked Susan to be my kind guide, to help me explore and share the source and meaning of the My darling girl poetry(ish).

She asks questions that help uncover the deep sensitivities within these pieces of writing - and we explore how often the things we create don't feel like they come from 'us' at all.

My darling girl vol. 2 is published May 30 2023
Last date for pre-orders of this first edition 10 May 2023
To order, go to https://www.hennyflynn.co.uk/books

REFERENCES
Elizabeth Gilbert - TED talk: Your elusive creative genius
Ram Dass - quote: "We're all just walking each other home"
Emily Dickinson


To watch on YouTube https://youtu.be/Rrq4zcEmyT4

Support the show

***

A piece of quiet
Your weekly pause - a calming relaxation practice, every Wednesday. A few minutes to settle, a few minutes to write. First aid for the soul.
Join here - use the code PEACE for 20% off your first year

Let’s stay connected
Sign up to hear more - and only receive what speaks to you.
Join the list here

everyday ♡ compassion
Tiny reminders of self-love and presence, delivered three times a week.
Subscribe here

Free Events & Small Group Courses
Explore the power of Flow Journaling, self-compassion and gentle change in a supportive space.
See what’s on

Solo Retreats at Bach Brook
Rest, reflect and reconnect – fully supported in a place of deep natural beauty.
Retreat with me

Books, Journaling Resources & Self-paced Courses
Explore tools for inner connection and compassionate growth.
Visit the library

Free 20-minute Call
Explore whether coaching could support what’s calling for change.
...

Tap to send me your reflections ♡

Today we return to an old, and never-ending, theme: Change.

And embedded within that theme, we can often find our old friend: Fear.

So, today I share an entry from my journal. Something I wrote several years ago, in an attempt to understand what I was going through at the time. It's a meditation on what it means to release our fear sufficiently that change becomes possible.

As an unedited piece of writing from my journal, I hope it also shows how in the simple act of writing we can disentangle thoughts that may feel complex and messy. In the process of journaling we can begin to see through to the truth and wisdom we hold within.

In the episode I also reference a story I first shared in the episode with Soulla - S6E6 - Making Your Soul Shine, with Soulla Demetriou. It's a beautiful episode and if you haven't listened, you may enjoy hearing what we discuss, as the two good friends we are.

Sending you love - see you in Season 10.

Henny x

To join the Journaling Quest for Compassion, sign up here: https://hennyflynn.ck.page/d2c3c25452

Support the show

***

A piece of quiet
Your weekly pause - a calming relaxation practice, every Wednesday. A few minutes to settle, a few minutes to write. First aid for the soul.
Join here - use the code PEACE for 20% off your first year

Let’s stay connected
Sign up to hear more - and only receive what speaks to you.
Join the list here

everyday ♡ compassion
Tiny reminders of self-love and presence, delivered three times a week.
Subscribe here

Free Events & Small Group Courses
Explore the power of Flow Journaling, self-compassion and gentle change in a supportive space.
See what’s on

Solo Retreats at Bach Brook
Rest, reflect and reconnect – fully supported in a place of deep natural beauty.
Retreat with me

Books, Journaling Resources & Self-paced Courses
Explore tools for inner connection and compassionate growth.
Visit the library

Free 20-minute Call
Explore whether coaching could support what’s calling for change.
...

Tap to send me your reflections ♡

We all carry a set of beliefs about what the NORM is and about how we’re ‘meant’ to think, feel, act, look in order to fit in with that (possibly narrow) view. 

And these beliefs inform how we see ourselves.

The challenge comes of course, when we see ourselves through a critical lens - which can (of course) be a far more critical lens than we would ever use to see another person.

In the lyrics of the song by En Vogue*(more on that in the episode!), we hear:

Before you can read me. You got to learn how to see me

And so it is with ourselves

Hence the title of today’s episode… Be self-kind & the love will follow

When we see ourselves through kind eyes, we’re acknowledging and accepting that every single part of us is welcome here. We are no longer ‘othering’ parts we might find more difficult - or feel could even be impossible - to love.

And part of this practice of being self-kind is not trying to rush at creating a sense of self-love. We're not trying to force something that can feel uncomfortable or unfamiliar. Begin - again and again - with kindness.

KEY THINGS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE

• Othering - and how we can ‘other’ parts of our SELF
• The importance of feeling and being ‘welcome’
• The value of recognising and connecting with our inner parts, in a compassionate non-judgemental way
• Some of the common phrases the Inner Critic can throw at us
• The risk of criticising our Inner Critic - how that can compound the effect of the self-judgement
• How the words ‘should’ or ‘must’ or ‘ought’ can be a sign the Inner Critic is getting activated
• Remembering that the path toward being self-kind may feel hard but is always worth it

REFERENCES

• *En Vogue: Free your mind & the rest will follow - the cultural reference that inspired this episode title's play on words
• Internal Family Systems - trauma based therapeutic support
• School of Life - useful resource for working with the Inner Critic

Support the show

***

A piece of quiet
Your weekly pause - a calming relaxation practice, every Wednesday. A few minutes to settle, a few minutes to write. First aid for the soul.
Join here - use the code PEACE for 20% off your first year

Let’s stay connected
Sign up to hear more - and only receive what speaks to you.
Join the list here

everyday ♡ compassion
Tiny reminders of self-love and presence, delivered three times a week.
Subscribe here

Free Events & Small Group Courses
Explore the power of Flow Journaling, self-compassion and gentle change in a supportive space.
See what’s on

Solo Retreats at Bach Brook
Rest, reflect and reconnect – fully supported in a place of deep natural beauty.
Retreat with me

Books, Journaling Resources & Self-paced Courses
Explore tools for inner connection and compassionate growth.
Visit the library

Free 20-minute Call
Explore whether coaching could support what’s calling for change.
...