everyday compassion with Henny Flynn

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This episode ended up being about lots of things. 

You'll hear I wasn't sure what the title was going to be until we were part way through. While our attention was broadly on the idea of 'ageing' - I wanted to keep the field wide open, to allow whatever arose. 

Perhaps unsurprisingly, the scope expanded as we went...

Ageing. Regrets. Family. Grief. Love. Friendship. Community. Compassion (of course). And at times it became unclear who was interviewing whom. 

By chance we recorded it on World Menopause Day (October 18th) and you’ll hear menopause played a part too. 

I loved speaking with Nina. She is full of compassion and curiosity. 

I hope you love you listening.

ABOUT NINA LOREZ COLLINS

Nina is the Chief Creative Officer of Revel. Founder of The Woolfer and Board Chair of The Brooklyn Public Library. She is also manager of the Kathleen Collins estate - curating and promoting her mother's creative work.

Amongst her many other skills, Nina hosts the Raging Gracefully podcast. A place for exploration of this topic of ageing and how women move into and through their second phase of life... into what I love to think of as our Second Spring.

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This episode was inspired by two mistakes I made this weekend... and how compassion helps us through.

And you might like to know that when I first loaded it up, I completely forgot to include the usual intro. It is human to err indeed!

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everyday ♡ compassion
Tiny reminders of self-love and presence, delivered three times a week.
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Free Events & Small Group Courses
Explore the power of Flow Journaling, self-compassion and gentle change in a supportive space.
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Rest, reflect and reconnect – fully supported in a place of deep natural beauty.
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Explore tools for inner connection and compassionate growth.
Visit the library

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Explore whether coaching could support what’s calling for change.
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This Bonus episode was recorded live with a wonderful audience.

FLOW Journaling is my preferred approach to Journaling and the approach I recommend for everyone embarking on this year's JOURNALING QUEST.

We begin with a relaxation practice to help settle us, before we dive into the WHATs, WHYs and HOWs of FLOW Journaling. And we end with a journaling prompt to practice the  process I'm guiding us through.

You'll hear there are self-reflection questions throughout the episode - and the invitation is to have a pen and paper handy to jot down your own thoughts.

I hope you enjoy this exploration. There are some rich observations from the group and I would love to hear your reflections as you listen and observe your own responses.

To enjoy being part of a Journaling Quest, in your own time, at your own pace, find out more here:
https://www.hennyflynn.co.uk/journaling-quest

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A piece of quiet
Your weekly pause - a calming relaxation practice, every Wednesday. A few minutes to settle, a few minutes to write. First aid for the soul.
Join here - use the code PEACE for 20% off your first year

Let’s stay connected
Sign up to hear more - and only receive what speaks to you.
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everyday ♡ compassion
Tiny reminders of self-love and presence, delivered three times a week.
Subscribe here

Free Events & Small Group Courses
Explore the power of Flow Journaling, self-compassion and gentle change in a supportive space.
See what’s on

Solo Retreats at Bach Brook
Rest, reflect and reconnect – fully supported in a place of deep natural beauty.
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Books, Journaling Resources & Self-paced Courses
Explore tools for inner connection and compassionate growth.
Visit the library

Free 20-minute Call
Explore whether coaching could support what’s calling for change.
...

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Another deeply personal episode.

This time we're exploring fear.

One of the truths we observe is that the FEAR itself is real, but the stories we attach to it may not be.

I am transcribing this episode so please take a look at the podcast shownotes (on hennyflynn.co.uk or wherever you love to listen) for more of the detail and wisdom in what Susan shares with me.

Connect with Susan and read her brilliant blog post https://www.susanmcculley.com/blog-posts/clouds

And... just for anyone watching on YouTube, there's a part at the end where we just sit chatting! I'd forgotten to switch off the recording... :-)

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***

A piece of quiet
Your weekly pause - a calming relaxation practice, every Wednesday. A few minutes to settle, a few minutes to write. First aid for the soul.
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everyday ♡ compassion
Tiny reminders of self-love and presence, delivered three times a week.
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Free Events & Small Group Courses
Explore the power of Flow Journaling, self-compassion and gentle change in a supportive space.
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Solo Retreats at Bach Brook
Rest, reflect and reconnect – fully supported in a place of deep natural beauty.
Retreat with me

Books, Journaling Resources & Self-paced Courses
Explore tools for inner connection and compassionate growth.
Visit the library

Free 20-minute Call
Explore whether coaching could support what’s calling for change.
...

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Sherry Jibb is a yoga teacher, wise woman and the founder of the Happy & Healthy in Midlife Summit. 

We met this year when she invited me to be a speaker at the summit and in the course of our initial conversation it quickly became clear that she is a very special human.

Early in this conversation, Sherry shares that her father is dying. 

She is at his home when we speak and the whole topic of connection is deeply resonate with her experience in these days.

There is so much heart in this episode. 

I know you are joining me as I send our love to Sherry and her loved ones. And, as ever, I hope you find this exploration of connection in some way useful in your own lived experience too.

These are some of the areas we cover. There were so many. A rich and powerful exploration of such an important topic.

• What gets in the way of connecting with others?
• How is this amplified / diluted as we grow older?
• What’s the impact when we hold ourselves - or feel - separate?
• Are there differences here for people who identify as male or female?
• How can we move through those blockers or resistance? 
• Understanding what healthy connection looks like for us, as individuals
• How does connection with others inform the way we connect with ourselves - and vice versa?

There were two quotes I mentioned at the very beginning of the recording. One was from Rumi 

“Through love, bitter things seem sweet; through love, bits of copper are made gold”

The second which I didn’t actually share but that you might like to read was from the inimitable Brene Brown

“Connection is the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard and valued; when they can give and receive without judgement; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship”

As ever, if this episode provokes any thoughts or reflections that you would like to share, please do so - either connect with me directly https://www.hennyflynn.co.uk/ or come and join the 'living with compassion conversation at

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***

A piece of quiet
Your weekly pause - a calming relaxation practice, every Wednesday. A few minutes to settle, a few minutes to write. First aid for the soul.
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everyday ♡ compassion
Tiny reminders of self-love and presence, delivered three times a week.
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Free Events & Small Group Courses
Explore the power of Flow Journaling, self-compassion and gentle change in a supportive space.
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Solo Retreats at Bach Brook
Rest, reflect and reconnect – fully supported in a place of deep natural beauty.
Retreat with me

Books, Journaling Resources & Self-paced Courses
Explore tools for inner connection and compassionate growth.
Visit the library

Free 20-minute Call
Explore whether coaching could support what’s calling for change.
...

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This episode begins with the reflection that... When I attach to the fear of what others might think of me I stop BEING. And start acting as I think I ‘should’

This attachment to what I think others might think is an old, deep story for me and it can feel like it’s hard wired into our nature - as pack animals we need to have a degree of awareness of others in order that we can work together, live together, be together. It's part of what creates our moral code - and it's a vital part of creating a high-functioning social group.

So

How can we walk the line between the vital societal need of awareness of others... and constraining or inhibiting our true selves because of outdated beliefs or fears?

How is it when we really let go?

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A piece of quiet
Your weekly pause - a calming relaxation practice, every Wednesday. A few minutes to settle, a few minutes to write. First aid for the soul.
Join here - use the code PEACE for 20% off your first year

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Sign up to hear more - and only receive what speaks to you.
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everyday ♡ compassion
Tiny reminders of self-love and presence, delivered three times a week.
Subscribe here

Free Events & Small Group Courses
Explore the power of Flow Journaling, self-compassion and gentle change in a supportive space.
See what’s on

Solo Retreats at Bach Brook
Rest, reflect and reconnect – fully supported in a place of deep natural beauty.
Retreat with me

Books, Journaling Resources & Self-paced Courses
Explore tools for inner connection and compassionate growth.
Visit the library

Free 20-minute Call
Explore whether coaching could support what’s calling for change.
...

Tap to send me your reflections ♡

Have you ever found yourself doing something on a whim?

And then a while down the line felt it may not have been the right step for you? Perhaps reflecting it wasn’t worth the effort, the money, the time, the energy?

Or, have you ever found yourself NOT doing something... and a while down the line reflecting how doing THAT thing actually it could have been in your service in some way?

I have DEFINITELY been there. And, I suspect, it's true for all of us at times.

The confusing thing about all this is that the things we choose to do MIGHT be acts of procrastination. Or acts of avoidance. Ways of NOT doing something else that (for whatever reason) isn't drawing our energised attention.

Or perhaps that delay we created could be an act of percolation, allowing something time to become clearer.

Or maybe - just maybe - we're doing whatever we're doing because we're in a state of flow. And all is exactly as it need to be.

How do we tell the difference?

That's what we're exploring today.

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A piece of quiet
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everyday ♡ compassion
Tiny reminders of self-love and presence, delivered three times a week.
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Free Events & Small Group Courses
Explore the power of Flow Journaling, self-compassion and gentle change in a supportive space.
See what’s on

Solo Retreats at Bach Brook
Rest, reflect and reconnect – fully supported in a place of deep natural beauty.
Retreat with me

Books, Journaling Resources & Self-paced Courses
Explore tools for inner connection and compassionate growth.
Visit the library

Free 20-minute Call
Explore whether coaching could support what’s calling for change.
...

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By the time a thought has reached our mouth the SUBCONSCIOUS work that underpins that thought has actually been going on for some time.

I find this idea immensely powerful - and empowering. 

I also find it deeply hopeful.

It says to me that we are ALREADY far further along the path than we may at first believe ourselves to be.

Have seen this play out on so many occasions, with clients coming to me and perhaps sharing that they find the concept of self-care so hard to access. Then we work together to help them see that simply choosing to invest in themselves (through coaching) IS an act of self-care.

So, when we feel we’re up against things, or that the path feels too long, or that we’re not strong, or that we’ll never move forward... we can remind ourselves: I CAN because I ALREADY AM.

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***

A piece of quiet
Your weekly pause - a calming relaxation practice, every Wednesday. A few minutes to settle, a few minutes to write. First aid for the soul.
Join here - use the code PEACE for 20% off your first year

Let’s stay connected
Sign up to hear more - and only receive what speaks to you.
Join the list here

everyday ♡ compassion
Tiny reminders of self-love and presence, delivered three times a week.
Subscribe here

Free Events & Small Group Courses
Explore the power of Flow Journaling, self-compassion and gentle change in a supportive space.
See what’s on

Solo Retreats at Bach Brook
Rest, reflect and reconnect – fully supported in a place of deep natural beauty.
Retreat with me

Books, Journaling Resources & Self-paced Courses
Explore tools for inner connection and compassionate growth.
Visit the library

Free 20-minute Call
Explore whether coaching could support what’s calling for change.
...

Tap to send me your reflections ♡

This episode could simply be called 'August didn't go as planned'!

This is my reflection on what happened, and how I ended up realising everything was actually ok.

Ultimately it brought me to the renewed realisation that...

When we deepen our awareness of what we’re feeling RIGHT NOW and explore what sits behind THAT, behind the mundane; the stuff we often ignore or shove to one side. THAT is what helps us when life gets genuinely complicated. 

It's the act of turning toward ourself - with profound compassion - and seeing what’s activating the tiny parts of us. This is what builds the muscle memory that helps us turn toward (and hold with endless tenderness) the big (and maybe painful) parts that can feel so unwieldy and challenging when they most need our support. 

So, the upshot of all this is that my no-plan-plan was disrupted. By me. And the lesson I learnt was to come back into flow. 

To take up the offer of a one-off personal session to craft your own daily prayers (or affirmations or reminders or whatever you'd like to call them!), book here:
https://calendly.com/hennyflynn/prayer

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***

A piece of quiet
Your weekly pause - a calming relaxation practice, every Wednesday. A few minutes to settle, a few minutes to write. First aid for the soul.
Join here - use the code PEACE for 20% off your first year

Let’s stay connected
Sign up to hear more - and only receive what speaks to you.
Join the list here

everyday ♡ compassion
Tiny reminders of self-love and presence, delivered three times a week.
Subscribe here

Free Events & Small Group Courses
Explore the power of Flow Journaling, self-compassion and gentle change in a supportive space.
See what’s on

Solo Retreats at Bach Brook
Rest, reflect and reconnect – fully supported in a place of deep natural beauty.
Retreat with me

Books, Journaling Resources & Self-paced Courses
Explore tools for inner connection and compassionate growth.
Visit the library

Free 20-minute Call
Explore whether coaching could support what’s calling for change.
...

Tap to send me your reflections ♡

Having a coffee this morning, I suddenly realised I didn’t want to drink any more or take another bite of my half-nibbled square of chocolate.

So I put them both down.

In the past I would have finished them. 

And even now that’s still an UNCONSCIOUS response I definitely see in myself.... continuing to consume, even though it’s not the thing that serves me. And that's part of my own continuing Work - to continue to learn to listen ever more deeply to myself.

I'm writing this from my Covid recovery phase and I notice I am more aware of my body precisely because I have been so ill that I have been forced to listen to her. 

My reflection today is that there’s something about being ill that gives us an opportunity to reset. It feels this is an opportunity to release the resistance (that comes from years of conditioning) to hearing those cues my body sends me and to REALLY listen to what she says.

So, that's the invitation today. To REALLY feel into our BODY and ask ‘what is it you need my love?’

Support the show

***

A piece of quiet
Your weekly pause - a calming relaxation practice, every Wednesday. A few minutes to settle, a few minutes to write. First aid for the soul.
Join here - use the code PEACE for 20% off your first year

Let’s stay connected
Sign up to hear more - and only receive what speaks to you.
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everyday ♡ compassion
Tiny reminders of self-love and presence, delivered three times a week.
Subscribe here

Free Events & Small Group Courses
Explore the power of Flow Journaling, self-compassion and gentle change in a supportive space.
See what’s on

Solo Retreats at Bach Brook
Rest, reflect and reconnect – fully supported in a place of deep natural beauty.
Retreat with me

Books, Journaling Resources & Self-paced Courses
Explore tools for inner connection and compassionate growth.
Visit the library

Free 20-minute Call
Explore whether coaching could support what’s calling for change.
...