Dear Midlife...

Experiencing Deep Sexual Connection and Finding Your "O"


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We are both single and out there playing the dating game and we both know how difficult it is to get a man to even engage in conversation! So!! to our 2 guys listening out there....conversation is a 2-way street! That means I ask you a question, you respond (hopefully with more than 3 words) then YOU ask ME a question. I don't know if we've lost the fine art of conversation due to the social norms of communicating via texted acronyms LOL, WTF, OMW! etc. But, it is getting harder and harder to strike up conversation.  And we're talking like, everyday average conversation! Right?! We're not even talking about deep or intimate conversations about topics that are central to the foundation of any relationship we are forging.

Our guest today, Daniela Stevens, helps us to understand how to better have these conversations with an intimate partner (or let's be real, someone we WANT to have an intimate partnership with) in a way that is considerate, authentic and SAFE. For over 20 years, Daniela has worked with thousands of people 1:1, in college classrooms, and in yoga studios using somatic attachment therapy. She leverages neuroscience, holistic healing, trauma resolution and modern coaching blended with ancient tantric and taoist wisdom to support couples and individuals to experience deep sexual connection with themselves and their partner(s). Sometimes it's about removing pressure, guilt, shame, and blame. Sometimes it's about bolstering trust to foster vulnerability and emotional connection. Each person or relationship is unique and the private coaching experience is curated to their journey. She was named one of the best sex & intimacy coaches in 2023 by www.datingadvice.com

In this episode, Daniela teaches us:  

  1. The first step to better sex in midlife is defining what that looks like for you and to learn to articulate what you're looking for. We can start to identify what is the speed, the flavor, the pace, the feeling, the level of intimacy, what are desires and how and where do they come into partnered sex and self-pleasure.
  2. A vibrator isn't the only solution to finding your orgasm. It can help, but you have to be in touch and in tune with you body to figure out what works for you.
  3. There is opportunity to make an intimate and safe experience when we talk about our needs. We can do this before sex, during sex, and after sex. To do this we have to be radically honest and willing to SAY what it is we're thinking.
  4. When trying to understand our needs and our partners intimate needs ask 1. How's the speed?, 2 .How is the pressure? 3. How is the location? 4. How is the style or stroke?
  5. Don't be afraid to initiate these conversations! They are a necessary and important part to a healthy sexual partnership.

You can find more of Daniela at:

Website | danielastevens.com

Instagram | @danielastevensnow

Daniela is our girl. If you are in the same place as us...in the middle, single, longing for a relationship with true, mind-blowing intimacy and just having a damn hard time finding it. You are in the right place! And if all of these topics are resonating with you, please follow our podcast so you don't miss an episode. And please join our FB Community and follow us on Instagram for more fun engagement and connection!

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Dear Midlife...By Shelby Bybee and Trinity Greenfield

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