Ahhh – you don't want to miss this one!

The 2nd episode in our HELD IN HER STORIES series is for the woman who's smart (Like, scientist smart), resourced, doing all the things… and still feeling anxious underneath it all.

Today I'm talking to a member of FMBM with a PhD who came into fertility like it was a science experiment — 5 rounds of IVF, deep in the research, treating her body like a problem to solve. And then she walked through IVF and miscarriage… and had to learn how to trust her body again after loss.

This convo is raw and so, so validating.

We get into:

• That belief: "If I don't control every detail, it won't work" — and how it actually creates more contraction in the body

• Anxiety and OCD on the fertility journey (we actually name it) and what it looks like to stop resisting the resistance.

• Moving from "I can think my way out of this" to "my body is telling me in real time what it needs"

• Rebuilding trust after loss

• And the sweetest part: creating relationship with baby before they arrive (her French blue nursery curtains are iconic)

She said: "I realized how much I withheld love for myself. Once I let myself have it, I became a better wife, daughter, and future mom."

And I have to say it plainly: what she learned inside Fertility Mind-Body Mastery was how to love herself before becoming a mother — so she didn't need a positive pregnancy test to give her permission to do it.

The amazing news? Self-love isn't just a cute concept — it's biology.

Because when you start loving yourself, your body finally feels safe. Your nervous system settles. Your hormones find balance. Your heart opens up to receive life again.

LISTEN NOW!

I'm thrilled to share something brand spankin' new with you — a special Fertile Ground podcast series called HELD IN HER STORIES.

These are real conversations with women inside my program, Fertility Mind-Body Mastery, who are rewriting and rewiring what it means to trust life, their bodies, and themselves. Each story is a living example of what happens when we stop trying to "get it right" and start letting ourselves be held — by the messiness of our emotions, the safety of community, and the unseen forces conspiring in our favor.

In today's chat – I sat down with Amber, a returning FMBM member who got pregnant with her first baby inside the program. She came back — not because she was broken — but because she wanted to see what this fertility, this pregnancy, this baby had in store for her.

In this episode, we explore the moment Amber realized she'd tied her value to a number—and how she gently untied it. We talk about why we so often think we're failing when we're really not, and the difference between shame-based self-awareness and compassionate self-awareness — how one closes you while the other opens you. You'll also hear what joy actually feels like in the body (think: grilled cheeses, pumpkin carving, laughter at the park) and why receiving your real life now isn't "giving up" but actually getting you closer. Plus, we dive into fear vs. desire — letting your desire be just a little louder so your life can change — and how modeling sovereignty for our kids helps them learn to trust themselves, too.

"I stopped looking for proof that something was wrong with me, and life got a thousand times easier — even though nothing outside me changed."

If you've done all the work and still secretly wonder, "What's wrong with me?" — this one's for you.

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Let's talk about a belief that's quietly running the show for so many brilliant, high-achieving women trying to conceive: ✨ "If I get support… if I make this easier… then I won't be/feel worthy of my baby." I believed that for years. But it's a bullshit lie — and it's one that's keeping way too many brilliant, sensitive women stuck in cycles of shame, burnout, and isolation. In this week's episode, we're naming it all. The stigma. The pressure. The perfectionism. And we're diving into the shocking research that reveals just how little emotional and mental health support women TTC are actually receiving — even though up to 40% meet the criteria for anxiety or depression, and less than 7% get help. Let that sink in. So many women are suffering in silence — doing everything "right" on paper, while quietly breaking inside. In this episode, I share: ✨ Why shame is sneakier than we think — and how it's the biggest barrier to change. ✨ All the ways perfectionism makes you think you're being a "responsible good girl" when really, you've just been taught you need to prove your worth. ✨ The trap of believing "ease = not enough effort = highly unlikely to create new outcomes" ✨ How "waiting to feel better once you're pregnant" is secretly delaying what your body needs now This one's juicy, honest, and full of truth bombs you didn't know you needed. Listen now! Because support is not a f*cking luxury. It's part of the medicine. And you don't have to suffer your way to your baby. Not anymore.

I've noticed more and more people online saying "there's no such thing as unexplained infertility." That if you just test enough, fix enough, try enough… you'll find the root cause. And although that may sound comforting to some — I respectfully and fully — disagree. All those years I was TTC, I do not believe my body was missing something that I could have found in a test. I believe I was being asked to trust something deeper. To stop playing the martyr. To stop micromanaging every second of my life in the name of "doing everything right." And to start seeing fertility not as a puzzle to solve…but as a relationship to build. This episode isn't for everyone. But it is for the woman who's:

• Tired of being told to focus and search for what's wrong with her body, her cycle, or her timeline—only to feel more anxious and less hopeful.
• Noticing that the constant testing and tweaking is affecting her mental health. (Like it was for me)
• Starting to wonder if there's another way—because fixing and forcing hasn't worked, and maybe… just maybe… it's time to try trusting in the mystery of fertility instead.

If that's you, come listen here. And if you listen and think, "Okay, this is what I want — but how do I actually do that?" Then come join us inside Fertility Mind-Body Mastery. That's where we take this truth and make it tangible. Where you learn how to regulate your nervous system, trust your body, and create the conditions for life to feel safe to land. No more perfection. No more proving. Just deep trust, steady support, and powerful transformation Listen now!

I have to tell you about one of the most powerful full-circle moments I've ever witnessed in my coaching career — and now you get to witness it too. In the latest coaching call of the Fertility Mind-Body Mastery, something magical happened. One of my longtime clients — who just completed her third (!!) round of FMBM — shows up to her very last call… with her newborn baby in her arms Baby Daniel. (Yes — partly named after a good man. My husband Dan, actually ) But that's not even the most touching part. She opens up about a powerful force she felt all throughout trying to conceive. One she thought was pressure… or obsession… or maybe even her "crazy" for wanting another baby. But the moment she gave birth? That force left her body. And she realized… It was never fear. It was never lack. It was never selfishness. It was love. It was purpose. It was something far bigger than her, moving through her. A divine current saying: I choose you for this And now that Daniel is here, she can feel the peace again. Not because she finally got what she wanted… but because she followed the call. So my love, that's what this episode is all about: What if your desire isn't coming from you… but for you? What if that ache isn't a problem to fix… but a guide to follow? What if you're not crazy for wanting more… but chosen for it? This is one of those episodes that will soften every harsh voice in your head and help you feel safe to trust your desires again — especially if the world tells you you're asking for too much.

Let's cut the fertility fluff. You say you want the baby. And I 100% believe you. But the real question is: Does your nervous system—the bodyguard of what gets let in—believe it's actually safe to receive this? This week's episode is not for the surface-level manifesting girlies. This is for the woman who's done so damn much and still feels like she's stuck in fertility purgatory. Because here's what no one tells you: Sometimes, it's not the heartbreak you're scared of anymore. It's the vulnerability of letting yourself have it. This episode will hit if: You see your baby in a meditation—soft cheeks, tiny toes, you even feel their energy in the room with you—and without even thinking, you snap your eyes open and shake it off like it was too much. Too real. Too soon. You tell your friend, "Honestly, I'm okay either way." But you feel your throat tighten—because you're not. Not really. You just don't want to sound desperate. You told yourself you'd rest today… but suddenly you've "accidentally" created a 12-point plan for optimizing your fertility routine again. Spoiler: That's not self-sabotage. That's nervous system survival mode just doin' its thang. This week on the pod, we're diving into:

• 4 reasons why receiving can feel like a threat, not a reward.
• How perfectionism kills your ability to hold paradox which is what regulates your nervous system.
• And how to stop managing the fertility journey like a job ...and start actually becoming the woman who can let it in that baby!

LISTEN NOW! And if this episode lands like truth in your bones? Omg you have to join my new program HELD at www.spenserbrassard.com It's where we stop gripping, overthinking, and efforting... and start building real capacity to receive. Because yes, you want the baby. But deep down? You want so much more than that. You want your softness back. Your peace. Your permission to have a full, juicy, supported life And that's exactly what we're practicing together inside HELD. We start May 7. It's $149 Let this be the season you stop pretending you're fine with "maybe someday." Let this be the season you become the woman whose God damn ready to receive.

If you're not in the space to hear about pregnancy loss, please take care of yourself and skip this one. But if you've been through it—or are in it right now—this is for you. My intention is to honor you. To walk beside you. To name the sacredness of this experience in a world that often doesn't know how. In this episode, I share my own story: a pregnancy loss I had this past December. I've had two healthy boys, and three miscarriages—each one a portal that cracked me open. This most recent one, especially. Not from fear, but from surrender. Pregnancy loss brings you into direct contact with life and death at once. And yet, we don't freaking talk about it. We don't honor it. We very often resist it. In this episode, we'll explore: Why we don't honor pregnancy loss in our culture (and how that creates suffering) ️How to gently, soulfully honor a loss in your own life Spirit baby communication & what it means to be in equal relationship with that soul ️What to do with the fear of it happening again And 5 beautiful, creative ways to mark your loss with love This isn't about fixing anything. It's about witnessing the deeper truth of an experience that is too often shamed and dismissed in our culture. This episode is an offering from my heart to yours. Not to rush you. Not to force meaning. But to remind you that meaning will come. And that you're not in this alone. Listen to the episode now

This week's episode is for the woman who has been through a lot lately. Has life asked you to carry more than most in the past season of your life? You've been the strong one. The responsible one. The one with deep resilience. You still show up — even when your heart feels shattered. Even when no one notices how much you're really holding. And maybe you're starting to wonder… What happens if I stop holding it all? What happens if I don't keep over-giving, over-doing, over-functioning? That's exactly what we're talking about on the podcast this week: Entering Your Season of Restoration and Receiving Not because you're weak. Not because you've given up. But because you're finally wise enough to know… You don't have to suffer to be worthy of the life you want. We're unpacking: Why women resist receiving (even when they crave it) The identity shift it takes to feel safe in this new season of your life. What receiving actually means and looks like IRL— on a soul and body level And the truth that might crack your heart wide open: Your desire for your dream life must become bigger than your fear of judgment. This is an invitation to step into a new season. A season where you feel nourished. Supported. Loved. And absolutely fucking worthy of a fabulous dinner out… even if you did nothing all day. This episode is a portal (I'm not kidding. Listen to it and see…) And if you're ready to be deeply held, to soften your grip, and to trust your body and your path again — come join us inside Fertility Mind-Body Mastery. This is the work. This is the place. This is YOUR season.

Out of 156 podcast episodes, I've never done one on IVF—which is honestly kind of wild. And if I'm being really honest with you… I think it's because I've been so careful with this topic. I know how deeply emotional IVF is, and I never want to add to anyone's pain. But this year, I made a promise to myself: to speak my truth fully. Because when I hold back out of fear, I also hold back from the women who need to hear this message. Here's the truth: IVF isn't just a medical process—it's a deeply emotional one. And yet, so much of the focus is on numbers, medications, and test results… while no one asks how you're actually feeling in all of this. I know firsthand how easy it is to attach your worth to your IVF outcome. I've lived the shame of feeling like my body was failing me. But the most powerful shift I made—the one that changed everything—was realizing this: Your worth has nothing to do with how your baby comes to you. You are not broken. You have done nothing wrong. IVF isn't something happening to you—it's something you're choosing (more about this inside of the podcast) and that shift alone is game-changing. When you approach IVF from this place—not from fear, but from deep trust in yourself—it doesn't justfeel better… There's ample research that it improves outcomes. Studies have shown that when IVF patients apply mind-body tools, it leads to a higher quality of life and improved pregnancy rates. And yet, most women go through this process without knowing how to take care of themselves through it all. Not on my watch! In this episode, I break down: The shame so many women carry around IVF (and how to release it) The small but massive mind-body shifts that can transform your experience Why mind-body work isn't about "being calm" but about staying connected to yourself How to move through IVF feeling stronger, not smaller. If you're thinking about IVF, going through it, or trying to heal from it—this episode is for you.

This weekend, something happened with my sweet 17-year-old Yorkie-Poo, Abby, that really hit me hard and made me reflect on how we all react to uncertainty. As we got ready for our Sunday family walk, Abby did something she's never done before — she sat there, refusing to move. For the first time in her life, she didn't want to go for a walk. I panicked: Shit. My girl is really slowing down. What does this mean about the future? In that moment, I was flooded with fear—not just about her future, but about my own. The uncertainty of what was happening to her made me feel unsafe. I didn't want to feel the grief of it all. It triggered a primal response in me to freeze. I felt paralyzed by all of my emotions. And it reminded me so much of how I used to feel when TTC… The fertility journey can bring up the same emotions. You're hit with so much uncertainty, and suddenly you just feel totally overwhelmed with all of these flavors of emotions, that you can barely freakin' move. And in those moments, life feels completely on hold. We all have those moments when we feel like…"Bah, it's just all too much!" And I remember when I was TTC, spending hours in bed, just wanting to stare at the ceiling for the rest of the unforeseen future. Even the smallest tasks of going for a neighborhood walk felt like too much work. But just because you WANT to freeze, doesn't mean you can't retrain your nervous system to keepflowing – despite uncertainty. It's about choosing a different, more compassionate RESPONSE when you are feeling yourself freeze –even when everything inside you is telling you to pump the brakes. In today's podcast, I'm talking about how to navigate those moments when you feel stuck and frozen in place: Why you freeze when faced with uncertainty and how to understand it. How to soften the freeze response without forcing yourself to feel better right away. How to keep living your life despite uncertainty/grief/sadness — even when you don't feel "ready." How to know if you're avoiding feeling how you really feel. Redefine what 'honoring your fertility journey' looks like, so that you can still feel safe to live your life, despite not being pregnant yet. (And how this actually increases fertility) This podcast will show you how to let go of the pause button, finally press PLAY and get back to doing what you love—while still holding space for the unknown. A life skill you'll have forever, promised to bring you so much peace Listen to the full 30 min episode now!