Fertile Ground: A mind-body approach to getting pregnant - without it taking over your life.

I was coaching my radiantly pregnant (45 year old) mama inside of our FMBM coaching call, and she had been sold the same lie that I was while TTC.    That pregnancy (and motherhood) are a walk in the park and that you should be beaming with gratitude 24/7 and that everyday you should feel like you’re JLo in the middle of one of her romance movies. Cute, bubbly, daily blow-out hair style and almost fearless.   So when we get pregnant – and we wake up dry heaving with just enough energy to put together a quick bread and cheese sammie, while anxiously anticipating the next ultrasound – we wonder if there’s something that we’re doing wrong.    Luckily for my client, all the tools she’s learned to become pregnant, she is now applying to pregnancy. She’s primed her nervous system for pregnancy, before it even happened. She’s feeling more equipped for the sensations she’s experiencing in pregnancy.    Here’s one thing I want you to take in and if you do… things can change for you real fast:   Your fertility journey is here to expand your energetic capacity for pregnancy – by training your nervous system to tolerate a greater range of sensation.   This is important to know because we all experience challenges, intense emotions and uncertainty while TTC. And we respond to these experiences with resistance and thoughts like, “This shouldn’t be happening to me.” or “I shouldn’t be feeling this way.” or worst, “I can’t do this.” when you absolutely can ❤️   These sacred moments are grooming your mind and body for conception.    I recorded a podcast – Expanding your nervous system capacity for pregnancy – to explain more deeply what I mean, how to do it and how my program Fertility Mind-Body Mastery was designed to prime your nervous system for both peace and pregnancy.    This one will blow your mind and make your life a helluva lot easier.    Listen now!

One of the main teachings inside of my book, Fertile Ground, is that: 

 

There are 1000’s of different paths you can take to conceive your baby

 

The problem is that we get caught up in how we’re supposed to do it according to culture and the mainstream fertility industry. 

 

For example, think about how people usually talk about getting ahead in education and business. Most people will tell you the way to go is to head off to a four-year college and get that degree. But there are tons of other routes, like vocational training, online courses, or just learning on your own. 

 

Mark Zuckerberg and Steve Jobs are both college dropouts. Beyonce and Oprah didn’t even bother.

 

There is another way. Life is a LOT more abundant than that one, narrow path culture convinces you to take.

 

Problem is, most people stick to the traditional and “acceptable” way of doing things, even though there are plenty of other paths that will lead to a similar (if not better) destination. 

 

We’re trained to do this, even if the mainstream path causes: 

 

• Burnout

• Stress

• Overwhelm 

• Or just doesn’t feel right.

 

This week’s podcast is to reveal to you that there is another way to your baby. Another approach. 

 

I know – first hand – how scary it is so go against how everyone else is doing it. 

 

But I also know – first hand – that I would not be where I am today, if I continued to follow what everyone else did. 

 

Me and my nature were not made for the normal way of doing things. And if you’re reading this, I don’t think you were either.

 

We’re safe to be different. 

Ready to feel the relief? Click here to listen to this week’s podcast and build the safety you need to do things your own damn way.

As you’re reading this email, I’m most likely sleeping, meditating, oracle card reading or listening to 528 Hz beats while going pen to paper

 

This mama needs a break. I need a break away from producing, promoting, posting, doing, blooming. 

 

And I ain’t got no shame. 

 

After my book launch and a recent death in my family which has left me quite heart broken, my body is feeling burnt out. And to me, that means, I need (not want… need) a retreat inward.  

 

Of course, my socialized self is tempted to bypass this very real, very necessary call to rest. 

 

But I’m listening. Because I know that this time and space inward, is where I recharge and receive the most bang on guidance about next steps in my life.

 

I will never find what I’m looking for, outside of myself. 

 

I recorded a podcast this week where I share more about this decision, because too many of us are attempting to bloom all year round. When a retreat inwards, could be the exact medicine you need to get happy and/or get pregnant.

 

You are an extension of nature. You have this code inside of you that knows what you need to thrive, to grow (yourself and that belly) and to be the best version of yourself. 

 

But you miss this. YOU. MISS. THIS... when you don’t take the time to fold inward and hear what nature wants for you.

 

To learn how to do this, listen to this week’s podcast. 

 

The code of your nature has been patiently waiting for you. 

 

My husband Dan attended a work conference a couple weekends ago in Banff, Alberta.    It was a gathering of female physicians with a focus on mental health.    I wasn’t there. But it was a shock to Dan that so many women are struggling getting their partners on board with the day to day tasks that make adulting feel so hard.   Women do so much. It’s called the “invisible workload” and it encompasses the intangible and often unnoticed tasks and responsibilities involved in managing a household and even more so in your case, the fertility journey.    It’s very common for women to  struggle to create a more equal role of responsibility on the fertility journey. Not sharing the responsibility of this journey with your partner adds a ton of pressure to the woman, while also making her feel fully responsible to “make it happen.”    This week, I interviewed my husband Dan on the Fertile Ground podcast to create common ground towards a solution. I’m so excited for you to listen! (And omg can I just tell you – I am so in love with this man.)   Men are different. They think and do things differently. But this doesn’t mean we can’t come together to achieve our goals and live a beautiful life… where we take on equal roles to make sure everyone is rested and happy   TBH, making this transition to equality wasn’t easy for Dan and I. But you can listen and learn from our mistakes   This week you will learn the 3 steps on how to create more equality in your partnership:  

• Accept that men and women are different (and why this isn’t a bad thing).
• Disarm each other when you get activated. 
• How to ask for what you want and need from each other. 

  You’re gonna LOVEEEE this episode!    A weight is going to be lifted off of your shoulders.    The pressure isn’t yours to hold mama bear.   Listen now!

I see you. Way more than you know.    You have done so much to try and create this baby.    You are so determined, so passionate and so brilliant. You deserve to be celebrated on this day (if not MORE) than a mother with 3 kids.    In my eyes, Mother’s day is for YOU!   To make you feel special and seen, I recorded a special podcast with one of my favorite people in the world… my mama! Tracy Lucas ❤️    She held such beautiful space for me on my fertility journey, so I thought — Why not share her with you? Why would I keep her all to myself? Why not spread the love and wisdom?    Please listen to this today. It’ll warm your heart. Make you feel so special for exactly who you are.   We laughed. We cried. Please enjoy this heart-opening conversation on this vulnerable day.    Listen now!

Boy oh boy does it sound fancy AF to say this but…

 

I decided to hire a publicist to get the word out about my book, Fertile Ground, that’ll be released in a week! A WEEK! 

 

She’s worked with Vogue, Serena Willliams and Ralph Lauren. She’s a feminist. And gorgeous. I love her. 

 

Her name is Liz Dennery and she asked if she could interview me on the Fertile Ground podcast. 

 

I said duh, of course. 

 

She asked me some really cool questions like:

 

• How did you strike a balance between actively pursuing conception and maintaining a sense of normalcy and fulfillment in other aspects of life?

• Many people facing fertility challenges often feel isolated or misunderstood. How does your book aim to provide support and community for individuals going through similar experiences?

• Beyond helping individuals conceive, how do you envision your book impacting readers' lives in broader ways, beyond their fertility journeys?

Our chat is refreshingly fun girl talk, but we cut straight through the bull shit and into how to actually heal, feel whole and be happy now. All of this, of course, leads to increased fertility. 

 

Listen now!

I got a little (a lot) spicy in this weeks podcast

I’m unleashing a lot of pent up emotions I have about the fertility industry

This week's podcast is called: 3 things that drive me crazy about the fertility industry. 

If you don’t yet know this already — with the exception of a handful of fertility experts — I loathe 90% of fertility advice out there.

It DID NOT work for me. In fact, it made me feel farther away from the goal and it made me feel like I couldn’t trust myself. 

I don’t think most of the “tips and tricks” work for women who are: 

1. Naturally more anxious. 

2. Have perfectionist tendencies.

In fact, I think the fertility journey tends to EXPAND on these characteristics and make it feel worse. 

It’s a bit of tough love for you this week, as I offer blunt but very effective guidance, if you REALLY want to change this narrative from: 

Someone suffering and struggling to conceive.

to

Someone who is thriving and open to conceiving their baby.

There’s a huge difference mama bear. 

LISTEN NOW!

After you listen, I wanna open up the conversation about it. Tell me how it landed. I’m SO CURIOUS to learn what emotions it evokes within you. 

I love you (with big sister tough love)

xo Spenser

It might be hard for you to believe this right now… but ➡️there will be a day when your fertility journey will be over ⬅️   One day in the future, this chapter of your life will be completed 📕 All your current questions will have answers ✅ You will know HOW you finally got pregnant. Hallelujah! 🙏🏽

 

You’ll know what astrological sign your baby is. Your pregnancy will have lined up with some celebrity's pregnancy. You’ll know what this infamous tiny human looks like. It will all make sense! 

 

My question for you RIGHT NOW on this journey, is the same question Elizabeth Gilbert (author of Eat, Pray, Love) asked me when I asked if she had any advice for someone about to write a book:

 

(If you don’t already know, my new book - Fertile Ground - comes out May 8th!🎉And I had the chance to see Liz Gilbert live and ask her a question.)

 

She said, “Aren’t you curious to know who you’ll become in the process of writing this book?” 

 

She didn’t ask if I was curious to see how the book turned out. Or how it will change the world.

 

She invited me to become more interested in how it will change ME for the better. 

 

So I’ll ask you right now mama bear, “Aren’t you curious to know who you’ll become in the process of your fertility journey?” 

 

When you’re rocking your baby to sleep at night… aren’t you curious to see who you will become?

 

The immense value of your fertility journey isn’t just in the outcome.

 

It’s in the value of YOU in this lifetime.

 

Your life goes on beyond this journey. And who you decide to become right now — on the journey to your baby — matters tremendously. 

 

For example, do you decide to lean into this journey of self-discovery, or shy away and focus on the physical? Do you learn how to offer yourself empathy and compassion in times of difficulty, or is shame your driving force? Do you want to do less and with more presence, or is perfectionisms impossible rules still driving? 

 

Speaking for myself, I don’t think I would have ever decided to write a book, if I hadn’t learned everything I did on the fertility journey. I’m feeling so many correlations in the journey to create my book baby and the journey to create my human baby. The feelings are very familiar.

 

The only reason I felt equipped to handle writing a book is because of my fertility journey. Not just because TTC is the complete concept of the book LOL. But because I learned that I can do hard, scary, big things. I learned that I have a lot to offer the world. I learned I’m worthy of creating what I want. 

 

This week’s podcast — The fertility journey is not just about “fertility” — encourages you to lean into the VALUE inside this conception journey you’re on.

 

You’ll learn: 

• The 8 correlations between writing a book and TTC. Meaning: you can copy and paste everything you learn from your fertility journey into every other category of your life. It’s gonna benefit you forever and ever and ever ❤️

• Why this journey is shaping you into the most bad-ass, high worth version of yourself.

• That you have way more to be proud of, then you give yourself credit for. It’s about time you give yourself the props, compassion and love that you deserve… (Your nervous system will thank you for it!)

Listen now!

We all want to love ourselves. But have we ever thought to ask WHY?   The truth is that “self-love” isn’t just about you being a good girl who should be nice to herself.   There’s waaaayyyyyy more of an exciting benefit to self-love than that — which is why I recorded this weeks podcast on this particular topic that you’re NOT going to want to miss.    It’s important for you to know the fertility-enhancing benefits of self-love so that you can feel encouraged and motivated to make the relationship you have with yourself, the most important one.    There are many health and happiness benefits to shifting your blame and shame for feelings of self-love, particularly in the subject of self-compassion.   Compassion comes up a lot on the fertility journey, because compassion is often high-lighted as a response we have to ourselves in times of challenge and difficulty.    It’s sad to admit, but we are a culture who normally kicks ourselves when we’re down. We don’t feel self-compassion to be productive. But again, it extends beyond the benefit of it being just a feel-good concept.    The latest research on the connection between shame and inflammation/auto-immunity challenges:    Auto-immunity refers to a condition where the body's immune system mistakenly targets and attacks its own tissues. Autoimmunity often involves inflammation because the immune system's attacks trigger inflammation in the affected tissues.    Health experts are noticing a correlation between shame and inflammation within the body.    Auto-immunity is when the body attacks itself.  Shame is when the human psyche attacks itself.    ❤️Self-compassion offers the mind AND the body relief from this mistaken attack ❤️   You DO NOT WANT TO MISS this weeks podcast: Can self-compassion heal inflammation in the body? (Hint: The answer is YES! 😆) You’ll learn more about the exciting benefits of self-compassion and exactly how to begin your journey towards it, to enhance your health, happiness and fertility. LISTEN NOW!

Chances are, there’s a totally untrue hierarchy between you and your baby that’s swirling around in your head.  

 

Here’s how the ego’s playing this mental story out: Your baby is HIGH up on the pedestal. Maybe even wearing a crown with jewels sipping on the most delicious nectar of milk. And you’re at the bottom, exhausted, trying to claw your way up with all the energy you have. You’re looking up hoping you can earn your worth to them by doing all the things (and doing them with precise perfection) to prove how bad you want it. 

 

And this my love… is totally unnecessary. 

 

Why? Because you are already insanely loved by the spirit of your baby.

 

They ALREADY chose you – out of 4 billion other women in the world. They want the authentic version of you to be their mother… not the perfect one. And… they want you to see this for yourself.

 

Listen to this weeks podcast to explore this topic further: The spirit of your baby chooses YOU. It will paint the picture of what’s REALLY happening behind the scenes, so you can let go of earning something you already fucking have.