In this episode, I talk about what it’s really been like trying to get pregnant after spending my entire twenties doing everything in my power not to. I share how I went from never tracking my period to obsessing over ovulation sticks and smiley faces, and how coming off Zoloft for the first time in years forced me to actually face my hormones head-on. I get into my PMDD, the endless trial-and-error of antidepressants, the small lifestyle changes that finally helped me feel stable again, and the deeply unsexy logistics of “timed sex.” Mostly, I wanted to be honest about how no one prepares you for how hard this process can be—or how much it messes with your sense of control. It’s equal parts confessional, fertility crash course, and reminder that wanting a baby doesn’t automatically make it easy to have one.

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