Today we have an extraordinary conversation with Brian Mattson. He is here to discuss with us Attachment Styles and how they affect our adult relationships. Attachment styles refer to the particular way in which an individual relates to other people. The style of attachment is formed at the very beginning of life, and once established, it is a style that stays with you and plays out  in how you relate in intimate relationships and in how you parent your children in the current day. As a psychotherapist he explores how attachment styles and trauma (with big T and little t) limit intimacy in romantic and personal relationships.

Brian says love is always in the listening, and insecure attachment and trauma decrease our ability to listen. As a result, he spends most of his time helping clients regulate their nervous systems so they can really listen and stay present. In this episode, Brian takes us through an exercise in which we tap into how to begin to regulate our nervous system and truly hear and honor what our bodies are telling us. 

Brian is a licensed marriage and family therapist. His work is influenced by almost 20 years in private practice, A 25+ year Meditation Practice in-depth Reading of Eastern Philosophy, and Extensive World Travel. He has a Master's Degree in Clinical Psychology and a Bachelor’s Degree in History.

In today's episode, we explore:

1. Attachment styles as a framework that is laid over the true self that are based on how we are related to or not related to by our primary care given between the ages of 0-3.
2. The simplicity of life when we know how we want to feel…then the choices we make either help us to expand into that feeling or contract away from it.
3. How to grow spiritually by increasing our capacity to bear discomfort and staying in contact with self
4. Asking yourself what a "securely" attached person do in this situation?
5. Listening to your impulses and inhibitions…
6. Finding the "no's". What are you saying yes to that should be a "no", honor what you need.

Book recommendations:

Your Brain on Love by Stan Tatkin PSYD

Find more of Brian at:

Website | brianmattsonmft.com

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