The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker convene the Adjudication Panel once more.

On the agenda this week: A potential world record for “fans counting out how long a goalkeeper is holding the ball”, the enduring ding-dong battle that is Pep Guardiola vs Sky's Patrick Davison, Romelu Lukaku’s implausible plant-based protein promo patter, how a team "takes the sting out of a game" and excruciating football-crossover scenes from the Australian Open tennis.

Meanwhile, the panel enjoy Paul Merson artfully mangling an old cliché and guess how much Phil Dowd's referee shirt from the 2010 Carling Cup final is going for on eBay

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey and Charlie Eccleshare are joined by sports presenter and 27th member of England's Euro 2020 squad Josh Denzel ​for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks.

Among Josh's selections for his footballing fascinations and irritations are hugging random strangers after a goal, the various quirks of the Premier League's stadium announcers and away trips to Burnley.

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker form the Adjudication Panel once again. On the agenda this week: more unique Serie A vocals, snooker's answer to mid-1990s Galatasaray, a £250 scale model of Steve McManaman (with four sets of "iconic" detachable hands), Andy Townsend reviews the Foo Fighters and one listener launches a spirited defence of long-distance runners making up the numbers at 5-a-side

Meanwhile, the panel run through football's proverbial trade unions, from the perennially paranoid Goalkeepers' Union to the surely unworkable Midfielders' Union.

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey and Jack Pitt-Brooke are joined by Sir Keir Starmer, leader of the opposition, for the latest instalment of Mesut Haaland Dicks.

Among Keir's selections for his footballing fascinations and irritations are fans' matchday rituals, the great leveller that is amateur five-a-side, the intense irritation of sitting next to a fan who commentates through the game and Premier League managers' ketchup bans.

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker gather for the latest Adjudication Panel. On the agenda this week: a never-heard-before commentator tone of voice, an unexpected tribute to the late, great Desmond Tutu, football words popping up in second-tier American wrestling events, wrongly-timed wondergoals, and the greatest Twitter reply to an official club statement EVER.

Meanwhile, the panel decide the precise threshold for having "one foot in the next round of the FA Cup" and whether consolation goals have been unfairly discriminated against all these years.

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey and Charlie Eccleshare are joined by The Guardian sports writer Jonathan Liew ​for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks.

Among Jonathan's selections for his footballing fascinations and irritations are the soundtracks to YouTube football compilations, tenuous football references in non-football advertising and the modern Premier League epidemic of "Can I have your shirt [Player X]?" signs.

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker assemble for the first Adjudication Panel of 2022. On the agenda this time: the old master Andy Townsend showing us how it's done, Richard Keys and Andy Gray in top form over in Doha and elite-level booing from the Evertonians.

Meanwhile, the panel attempt to set some parameters for "a famous win" and enjoy the early breeze through the newly-opened January transfer window.

Soccer Saturday obsessions, Kevin Keegan’s surprising meat industry knowledge, decoding the punditry of Roy Keane, the purest co-commentary of all time, Jamie Carragher’s Mesut Haaland Dicks, random footballers’ names in songs, the "Didn’t Play for Sam Allardyce’s Bolton But Really Should Have Done" XI, the art of "You’re just a s*** [Player X] , the purest essence of Ally McCoist and a titanic quiz finale...

Wrapping up the very best of the truly unique Football Clichés podcast in 2021.

The definitive Barclays Premier League XI, what Peter Drury hates about football, the most comprehensive examination of the words “the game’s gone”, how to be a co-commentator (aka The Lulu Effect), why Tom Rosenthal hates you shouting tactical advice from the stands, getting in and around Doc Brown, the precise psychology of Sunday League, 2 minutes and 20 seconds of just David Seaman chuckling…and the greatest moment in football podcasting history.

In the first of a festive two-parter, revisit the very best of the truly unique Football Clichés podcast in 2021.

One year on from claiming the title in controversial - some may even say scandalous - scenes, Jack Pitt-Brooke defends his Clichés Quiz crown against highly-rated challenger Charlie Eccleshare.

They battle it out over five rounds, including made-up football Wikipedia pages, players who may or may not have played for QPR, the language of the beautiful game and "Famous Goals, as Commentated on by Adam Hurrey’s Football-Averse Dad".