Ep #191 - You are doing the best you can with the resources you have. You were doing the best you could then with the resources you had then. Coping mechanisms around trauma, grief, and suffering are resources. Sure, binge drinking and swallowing anything that remotely promises a buzz is not the best way to cope with negative events and emotions - but it was the resources we had at the time. Yeah, other people handled their stuff the way they handled their stuff - and what they did versus what you did is not for us to spend anymore time ruminating upon.

It is time you forgive yourself. Release the anger you feel toward yourself, toward those you believe wronged you, toward the world in general. You can drink all the poison you want hoping it will hurt them and it won't. Trash them to their loved ones, to their circle, to the socials - and still the pain inside of you won't subside.

Forgiveness is for you. Releasing anger is for you. These are new resources you are cultivating and today we are going to teach you a few!

When you feel a negative emotion: picture what you are choosing to make you angry...

1. Make it fuzzy and/or blurry (like when you take an out of focus picture)

2. Drain the color out of the picture so it is black and white (see it go down the drain)

3. Turn down the lights in the picture (like a dimmer switch in a room)

4. Push that picture off into outer space and then pop it with your finger so it explodes into ashes

5. repeat this process over and over again until the negative emotion dulls and you feel the balance inside yourself being restored.

When you keep going back to a traumatic memory:

1. picture it in your mind

2. if you are seeing it from your point of view step outside yourself and watch yourself in this memory

3. What lesson, wisdom, or experience can you take from this memory?

4. Whatever happened in this memory release it from yourself and leave it there, in the past where it belongs. The suffering, the trauma, the heartbreak, the pain - leave it there in the past and bring the wisdom and lesson forward with you.

5. Come back to the present and see if you feel differently, if you talk about the memory to yourself differently.

6. If not then the lesson and wisdom are still back there so start back at step one and repeat.

* the key to keep in hand here is that whatever you experienced then, even if it was traumatic and abusive, there is a lesson to be learned. It could be that you were young, defenseless, and unable to help yourself in this moment. Now you are older, wiser, and stronger. Now you can defend and take care of yourself. Again, the key here is that regardless of what happened, regardless of fault or not, that was then, this was now, and you have more resources now than you had back then.

Just hit play and let's dive in with our open minds, hearts, and energies bringing everyone into the fold - you are in the right place, at the right time...right now.

It is time. It has been time. To live is to shine. Step into the SUN.

Stand up, step forward, raise your hand - it's your turn, I will call on you.

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Thank you so much for listening and being a part of my tribe and this wonderfully supportive community. Here's to being a part of ending the stigma, No longer are we living in the shadows - Anonymous no more!!

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