You’re convinced you’ve found your soulmate. When you’re around him/her, colors are more vivid and everything is magnetized. You think the sun rises and sets on their form and you’re on cloud 55 (screw cloud 9—that’s not high enough!). Except the person has been clear from the beginning that they’re not available, either in words or actions (likely both). They keep contacting you and wanting to hang out or have sex, so you’re stuck in the delusion of thinking someday they’ll wake up and realize you’re the best thing that ever happened to them. But instead, it’s you who needs to wake up and look at how you’ve avoided yourself. Everyone in your life is a mirror back to YOU.

Or when you’re emotionally closed off, alone and disconnected, you may be thinking all is well (you tell yourself you’re comfortable where you are, but you’re really just numb). Until this person enters your life. Then all of a sudden you can’t eat or sleep and are anxiety-ridden; it’s the beginning of a downward spiral. You start to people-please, flirt to hold their attention, share a little of yourself and tell yourself fantasies… whatever it takes to keep them around because you’re terrified they’ll abandon you. And yes, they will abandon you because their words and actions tell you they’re not committed, but you’re avoiding the signs in favor of what COULD be. You're ignoring yourself by putting all of your focus on them. I encounter these predicaments all the time with my clients, whether in a current relationship, with a past love they can’t let go of or in the form of a new and unavailable love. It’s an emotional roller coaster, and staying in your head will keep you on it, repeating these relationships over and over. It’s time to look at these people as a reflection of how you value (or don’t value) yourself. How’s that for a wake-up call?! Join me for a tough but honest look in the mirror so you stop trying to turn crap into diamonds.

You’re convinced you’ve found your soulmate. When you’re around him/her, colors are more vivid and everything is magnetized. You think the sun rises and sets on their form and you’re on cloud 55 (screw cloud 9—that’s not high enough!). Except the person has been clear from the beginning that they’re not available, either in words or actions (likely both). They keep contacting you and wanting to hang out or have sex, so you’re stuck in the delusion of thinking someday they’ll wake up and realize you’re the best thing that ever happened to them. But instead, it’s you who needs to wake up and look at how you’ve avoided yourself. Everyone in your life is a mirror back to YOU.

Or when you’re emotionally closed off, alone and disconnected, you may be thinking all is well (you tell yourself you’re comfortable where you are, but you’re really just numb). Until this person enters your life. Then all of a sudden you can’t eat or sleep and are anxiety-ridden; it’s the beginning of a downward spiral. You start to people-please, flirt to hold their attention, share a little of yourself and tell yourself fantasies… whatever it takes to keep them around because you’re terrified they’ll abandon you. And yes, they will abandon you because their words and actions tell you they’re not committed, but you’re avoiding the signs in favor of what COULD be. You're ignoring yourself by putting all of your focus on them. I encounter these predicaments all the time with my clients, whether in a current relationship, with a past love they can’t let go of or in the form of a new and unavailable love. It’s an emotional roller coaster, and staying in your head will keep you on it, repeating these relationships over and over. It’s time to look at these people as a reflection of how you value (or don’t value) yourself. How’s that for a wake-up call?! Join me for a tough but honest look in the mirror so you stop trying to turn crap into diamonds.

Chris Grosso, the “Indie Spiritualist,” is a public speaker, writer, published author, podcaster and spiritual director of Toivo by Advocacy Unlimited. He writes for ORIGIN Magazine, Huffington Post, and Mantra Yoga + Health Magazine, and has authored “Indie Spiritualist: A No Bullshit Exploration of Spirituality” and “Everything Mind: What I’ve Learned About Hard Knocks, Spiritual Awakening and the Mind-Blowing Truth of it All.”

In this interview, Chris chats candidly about his journey from skateboarder and rocker to drug addict… then coming out the other side to develop his own brand of spirituality. He is passionate about helping others who struggle with addiction by leading groups in detoxes, yoga, rehabs, youth centers, conferences, etc. He shares his struggles openly and honestly, with a lot of humor, although he doesn’t believe it’s all behind him. Please join me as we discuss our respective views on emotional expression, spirituality and more. Additional information on Chris can be found via his website: http://theindiespiritualist.com/

Chris Grosso, the “Indie Spiritualist,” is a public speaker, writer, published author, podcaster and spiritual director of Toivo by Advocacy Unlimited. He writes for ORIGIN Magazine, Huffington Post, and Mantra Yoga + Health Magazine, and has authored “Indie Spiritualist: A No Bullshit Exploration of Spirituality” and “Everything Mind: What I’ve Learned About Hard Knocks, Spiritual Awakening and the Mind-Blowing Truth of it All.”

In this interview, Chris chats candidly about his journey from skateboarder and rocker to drug addict… then coming out the other side to develop his own brand of spirituality. He is passionate about helping others who struggle with addiction by leading groups in detoxes, yoga, rehabs, youth centers, conferences, etc. He shares his struggles openly and honestly, with a lot of humor, although he doesn’t believe it’s all behind him. Please join me as we discuss our respective views on emotional expression, spirituality and more. Additional information on Chris can be found via his website: http://theindiespiritualist.com/

Chris Grosso, the “Indie Spiritualist,” is a public speaker, writer, published author, podcaster and spiritual director of Toivo by Advocacy Unlimited. He writes for ORIGIN Magazine, Huffington Post, and Mantra Yoga + Health Magazine, and has authored “Indie Spiritualist: A No Bullshit Exploration of Spirituality” and “Everything Mind: What I’ve Learned About Hard Knocks, Spiritual Awakening and the Mind-Blowing Truth of it All.”

In this interview, Chris chats candidly about his journey from skateboarder and rocker to drug addict… then coming out the other side to develop his own brand of spirituality. He is passionate about helping others who struggle with addiction by leading groups in detoxes, yoga, rehabs, youth centers, conferences, etc. He shares his struggles openly and honestly, with a lot of humor, although he doesn’t believe it’s all behind him. Please join me as we discuss our respective views on emotional expression, spirituality and more. Additional information on Chris can be found via his website: http://theindiespiritualist.com/

Chris Grosso, the “Indie Spiritualist,” is a public speaker, writer, published author, podcaster and spiritual director of Toivo by Advocacy Unlimited. He writes for ORIGIN Magazine, Huffington Post, and Mantra Yoga + Health Magazine, and has authored “Indie Spiritualist: A No Bullshit Exploration of Spirituality” and “Everything Mind: What I’ve Learned About Hard Knocks, Spiritual Awakening and the Mind-Blowing Truth of it All.”

In this interview, Chris chats candidly about his journey from skateboarder and rocker to drug addict… then coming out the other side to develop his own brand of spirituality. He is passionate about helping others who struggle with addiction by leading groups in detoxes, yoga, rehabs, youth centers, conferences, etc. He shares his struggles openly and honestly, with a lot of humor, although he doesn’t believe it’s all behind him. Please join me as we discuss our respective views on emotional expression, spirituality and more. Additional information on Chris can be found via his website: http://theindiespiritualist.com/

Novelist Chuck Palahniuk wrote, “What we call chaos is just patterns we haven’t recognized. What we call random is just patterns we can’t decipher.”

Do ever notice your walls suddenly go up without knowing what triggers it? You could be anywhere at any time, but you feel differently all of a sudden. It’s mostly the same crappy, dissonant feelings that you think were caused by something outside of you. But then, to add to the party, you start thinking about everything that is wrong with your life. How you’re alone or how you hate your job/relationship—anything you can attach the unpleasant feelings to. Perhaps you’ve felt this way your entire life, believing people are either born to attract or not attract what they want. You feel powerless.

It’s not true. You’re creating your life circumstances through recurring autopilot patterns. These patterns are so insidious that they run in the background, dictating your actions without you knowing it. The good news is they are learned… so they can be unlearned. You DO have control. Look deeper at your avoidance patterns so you can start owning your life instead of feeling like it’s created by default. Whether you’ve been ignoring your feelings daily from the time you wake up or just in situations where you fear loss (those times when you put on your people-pleasing face), please listen to this show. It will help you identify the patterns that keep you stuck in a loop of creating self-fulfilling prophecies. You have the power. Step one: recognize your avoidance patterns. Step two: break them.

Novelist Chuck Palahniuk wrote, “What we call chaos is just patterns we haven’t recognized. What we call random is just patterns we can’t decipher.”

Do ever notice your walls suddenly go up without knowing what triggers it? You could be anywhere at any time, but you feel differently all of a sudden. It’s mostly the same crappy, dissonant feelings that you think were caused by something outside of you. But then, to add to the party, you start thinking about everything that is wrong with your life. How you’re alone or how you hate your job/relationship—anything you can attach the unpleasant feelings to. Perhaps you’ve felt this way your entire life, believing people are either born to attract or not attract what they want. You feel powerless.

It’s not true. You’re creating your life circumstances through recurring autopilot patterns. These patterns are so insidious that they run in the background, dictating your actions without you knowing it. The good news is they are learned… so they can be unlearned. You DO have control. Look deeper at your avoidance patterns so you can start owning your life instead of feeling like it’s created by default. Whether you’ve been ignoring your feelings daily from the time you wake up or just in situations where you fear loss (those times when you put on your people-pleasing face), please listen to this show. It will help you identify the patterns that keep you stuck in a loop of creating self-fulfilling prophecies. You have the power. Step one: recognize your avoidance patterns. Step two: break them.

Novelist Chuck Palahniuk wrote, “What we call chaos is just patterns we haven’t recognized. What we call random is just patterns we can’t decipher.”

Do ever notice your walls suddenly go up without knowing what triggers it? You could be anywhere at any time, but you feel differently all of a sudden. It’s mostly the same crappy, dissonant feelings that you think were caused by something outside of you. But then, to add to the party, you start thinking about everything that is wrong with your life. How you’re alone or how you hate your job/relationship—anything you can attach the unpleasant feelings to. Perhaps you’ve felt this way your entire life, believing people are either born to attract or not attract what they want. You feel powerless.

It’s not true. You’re creating your life circumstances through recurring autopilot patterns. These patterns are so insidious that they run in the background, dictating your actions without you knowing it. The good news is they are learned… so they can be unlearned. You DO have control. Look deeper at your avoidance patterns so you can start owning your life instead of feeling like it’s created by default. Whether you’ve been ignoring your feelings daily from the time you wake up or just in situations where you fear loss (those times when you put on your people-pleasing face), please listen to this show. It will help you identify the patterns that keep you stuck in a loop of creating self-fulfilling prophecies. You have the power. Step one: recognize your avoidance patterns. Step two: break them.

People will accept bad jobs and tolerate crappy relationships, then berate themselves and wonder why they did it. They look for answers everywhere except where the problem truly lies– within themselves. Many become complacent and willing to settle for what they have because they don’t feel they deserve more.

When you look for a discount or want to pay less for something of quality, ask yourself why. It’s a direct reflection of how you feel about your own value because you cannot value something more than you value yourself. Look at where you discount yourself. If you own something nice and don’t take care of it, it shows your value. Of if you invest in nice things more than you do in your relationships (with yourself or others), it gives you an idea of where you place value.

Recognizing your value and stepping into it can open up a whole world of possibility. It’s about owning it and saying, “I want and deserve more.” When you do that and truly believe it, opportunities come your way. This week’s podcast helps you discover the value within yourself, and when you believe in yourself, it gives you the juice to believe in others.