Freedom from Attachment

Do you find yourself looking for validation from others when you act in a self-righteous way? For example, proving you’re strong by ignoring the text messages of an ex who you still have feelings for. It’s a mental strategy which does nothing for you emotionally. If anything, you feel worse because it’s an attempt to control someone else’s perception of you. You’re “teaching” them and wanting to make an impact so they respond how you want them to. Then when they don’t, it’s this game of push/pull. I push, you pull, and vice versa. Putting all the force in the world toward getting someone to treat you how you want is never going to solve the problem.

We use strategies to manipulate others and appear differently than we feel, like ignoring the text message when you really want to run to them. It’s emotionally painful and unnecessary because you’re trying to artificially force an outcome. Then when the desired outcome doesn’t happen and the other person creates even more distance, you pull harder. You are left scrambling for tactics that will make him/her do what you want instead of being true to your feelings and authentic in your actions. Perhaps you blame the other person, especially if they are inconsistent in how they show up, instead of looking at yourself as an equal player in this push/pull game.

Whether it’s a past or present relationship, we tend to act as though we have something to lose if we say or do the wrong thing. It remains a power struggle of pushing and pulling: between our intellect and emotions as well as between us and the other person. If we look at how we respond with our head instead of our heart, we can see it’s an attempt at control. If we respond with our heart, we leave the outcome open-ended… and with possibility.

Do you find yourself looking for validation from others when you act in a self-righteous way? For example, proving you’re strong by ignoring the text messages of an ex who you still have feelings for. It’s a mental strategy which does nothing for you emotionally. If anything, you feel worse because it’s an attempt to control someone else’s perception of you. You’re “teaching” them and wanting to make an impact so they respond how you want them to. Then when they don’t, it’s this game of push/pull. I push, you pull, and vice versa. Putting all the force in the world toward getting someone to treat you how you want is never going to solve the problem.

We use strategies to manipulate others and appear differently than we feel, like ignoring the text message when you really want to run to them. It’s emotionally painful and unnecessary because you’re trying to artificially force an outcome. Then when the desired outcome doesn’t happen and the other person creates even more distance, you pull harder. You are left scrambling for tactics that will make him/her do what you want instead of being true to your feelings and authentic in your actions. Perhaps you blame the other person, especially if they are inconsistent in how they show up, instead of looking at yourself as an equal player in this push/pull game.

Whether it’s a past or present relationship, we tend to act as though we have something to lose if we say or do the wrong thing. It remains a power struggle of pushing and pulling: between our intellect and emotions as well as between us and the other person. If we look at how we respond with our head instead of our heart, we can see it’s an attempt at control. If we respond with our heart, we leave the outcome open-ended… and with possibility.

Do you find yourself looking for validation from others when you act in a self-righteous way? For example, proving you’re strong by ignoring the text messages of an ex who you still have feelings for. It’s a mental strategy which does nothing for you emotionally. If anything, you feel worse because it’s an attempt to control someone else’s perception of you. You’re “teaching” them and wanting to make an impact so they respond how you want them to. Then when they don’t, it’s this game of push/pull. I push, you pull, and vice versa. Putting all the force in the world toward getting someone to treat you how you want is never going to solve the problem.

We use strategies to manipulate others and appear differently than we feel, like ignoring the text message when you really want to run to them. It’s emotionally painful and unnecessary because you’re trying to artificially force an outcome. Then when the desired outcome doesn’t happen and the other person creates even more distance, you pull harder. You are left scrambling for tactics that will make him/her do what you want instead of being true to your feelings and authentic in your actions. Perhaps you blame the other person, especially if they are inconsistent in how they show up, instead of looking at yourself as an equal player in this push/pull game.

Whether it’s a past or present relationship, we tend to act as though we have something to lose if we say or do the wrong thing. It remains a power struggle of pushing and pulling: between our intellect and emotions as well as between us and the other person. If we look at how we respond with our head instead of our heart, we can see it’s an attempt at control. If we respond with our heart, we leave the outcome open-ended… and with possibility.

Do you find yourself looking for validation from others when you act in a self-righteous way? For example, proving you’re strong by ignoring the text messages of an ex who you still have feelings for. It’s a mental strategy which does nothing for you emotionally. If anything, you feel worse because it’s an attempt to control someone else’s perception of you. You’re “teaching” them and wanting to make an impact so they respond how you want them to. Then when they don’t, it’s this game of push/pull. I push, you pull, and vice versa. Putting all the force in the world toward getting someone to treat you how you want is never going to solve the problem.

We use strategies to manipulate others and appear differently than we feel, like ignoring the text message when you really want to run to them. It’s emotionally painful and unnecessary because you’re trying to artificially force an outcome. Then when the desired outcome doesn’t happen and the other person creates even more distance, you pull harder. You are left scrambling for tactics that will make him/her do what you want instead of being true to your feelings and authentic in your actions. Perhaps you blame the other person, especially if they are inconsistent in how they show up, instead of looking at yourself as an equal player in this push/pull game.

Whether it’s a past or present relationship, we tend to act as though we have something to lose if we say or do the wrong thing. It remains a power struggle of pushing and pulling: between our intellect and emotions as well as between us and the other person. If we look at how we respond with our head instead of our heart, we can see it’s an attempt at control. If we respond with our heart, we leave the outcome open-ended… and with possibility.

Christy Funk teaches women the importance of a self-care practice as an entry way to a richer, more full relationship with the self. As a Lifestyle coach and Eco-Beauty Stylist she gives women radically effective ways to nurture and nourish both themselves from the core.

Self-Care saved her life 6 years ago and she sees many women lacking in it. If we learned to invest time, money and resources into our own well-being, we benefit those immediately around us. Learn how 15 minutes a day can change your life based on what we eat and put in our minds and bodies.

Social Media Links

https://www.facebook.com/christy.funk.37

https://www.instagram.com/christyfunk/

YouTube: Christy Funk

www.christyfunk.com

Christy Funk teaches women the importance of a self-care practice as an entry way to a richer, more full relationship with the self. As a Lifestyle coach and Eco-Beauty Stylist she gives women radically effective ways to nurture and nourish both themselves from the core.

Self-Care saved her life 6 years ago and she sees many women lacking in it. If we learned to invest time, money and resources into our own well-being, we benefit those immediately around us. Learn how 15 minutes a day can change your life based on what we eat and put in our minds and bodies.

Social Media Links

https://www.facebook.com/christy.funk.37

https://www.instagram.com/christyfunk/

YouTube: Christy Funk

www.christyfunk.com

Christy Funk teaches women the importance of a self-care practice as an entry way to a richer, more full relationship with the self. As a Lifestyle coach and Eco-Beauty Stylist she gives women radically effective ways to nurture and nourish both themselves from the core.

Self-Care saved her life 6 years ago and she sees many women lacking in it. If we learned to invest time, money and resources into our own well-being, we benefit those immediately around us. Learn how 15 minutes a day can change your life based on what we eat and put in our minds and bodies.

Social Media Links

https://www.facebook.com/christy.funk.37

https://www.instagram.com/christyfunk/

YouTube: Christy Funk

www.christyfunk.com

Christy Funk teaches women the importance of a self-care practice as an entry way to a richer, more full relationship with the self. As a Lifestyle coach and Eco-Beauty Stylist she gives women radically effective ways to nurture and nourish both themselves from the core.

Self-Care saved her life 6 years ago and she sees many women lacking in it. If we learned to invest time, money and resources into our own well-being, we benefit those immediately around us. Learn how 15 minutes a day can change your life based on what we eat and put in our minds and bodies.

Social Media Links

https://www.facebook.com/christy.funk.37

https://www.instagram.com/christyfunk/

YouTube: Christy Funk

www.christyfunk.com

How often do you play detective in trying to figure out what someone else is thinking? Not only is this a waste of time, but also a waste of your happiness because you can’t control the other person… nor be inside their head. Some of us look to friends and family to interpret texts or actions, turning it into an intellectual pursuit and focusing on all possible outcomes instead of on emotional connection. Perhaps you’re afraid of loss or being abandoned so you want to make sure you act and respond in the right way. You replay the scenario or re-read the text over and over, agonizing over your next move. Or you suspect your partner is cheating, but you have no hard evidence, so instead of actually communicating, you put on your detective hat and look for clues. The hope is that you’ll feel better after your discovery (good or bad), but it really just keeps your old patterns alive and doesn’t lead to true resolution.

Where does this yearning for answers come from? Our own insecurity, plus the need for control and validation, which can overrule our heart. We want to shut someone out of our life before they can do it to us so we sniff around for evidence. The problem is, when we’re looking to prove ourselves right, we eventually will. We end up destroying relationships because we use the intellect to push away emotions; looking for “facts” to support our suspicions instead of openly communicating. Join me to find out how these strategies misfire and create distance rather than emotional intimacy. Insecure attachment is alive and well in all the detectives out there!

How often do you play detective in trying to figure out what someone else is thinking? Not only is this a waste of time, but also a waste of your happiness because you can’t control the other person… nor be inside their head. Some of us look to friends and family to interpret texts or actions, turning it into an intellectual pursuit and focusing on all possible outcomes instead of on emotional connection. Perhaps you’re afraid of loss or being abandoned so you want to make sure you act and respond in the right way. You replay the scenario or re-read the text over and over, agonizing over your next move. Or you suspect your partner is cheating, but you have no hard evidence, so instead of actually communicating, you put on your detective hat and look for clues. The hope is that you’ll feel better after your discovery (good or bad), but it really just keeps your old patterns alive and doesn’t lead to true resolution.

Where does this yearning for answers come from? Our own insecurity, plus the need for control and validation, which can overrule our heart. We want to shut someone out of our life before they can do it to us so we sniff around for evidence. The problem is, when we’re looking to prove ourselves right, we eventually will. We end up destroying relationships because we use the intellect to push away emotions; looking for “facts” to support our suspicions instead of openly communicating. Join me to find out how these strategies misfire and create distance rather than emotional intimacy. Insecure attachment is alive and well in all the detectives out there!