Freedom from Attachment

When we speak the words “I love you,” what are we really saying? Most of us do not have a definition; we think it’s about the things we do, having nothing to do with loving someone just because.

The things we do and say often have nothing to do with love or what it means. It is not blame or a product of our expectations; it is a feeling of deep care without conditions. Why do we place conditions on love? Fear. We don’t know if we really want to love or be loved by others because of the fear we might lose ourselves, end up in a lot of pain or become trapped. Some of us fear loss and abandonment. I touch on insecure attachment to highlight how many of us get wrapped up in our expectations as a means of avoiding real love. Learn how to move out of “expectation land” so you can open yourself up to what true, unconditional love really is.

When we speak the words “I love you,” what are we really saying? Most of us do not have a definition; we think it’s about the things we do, having nothing to do with loving someone just because.

The things we do and say often have nothing to do with love or what it means. It is not blame or a product of our expectations; it is a feeling of deep care without conditions. Why do we place conditions on love? Fear. We don’t know if we really want to love or be loved by others because of the fear we might lose ourselves, end up in a lot of pain or become trapped. Some of us fear loss and abandonment. I touch on insecure attachment to highlight how many of us get wrapped up in our expectations as a means of avoiding real love. Learn how to move out of “expectation land” so you can open yourself up to what true, unconditional love really is.

When we speak the words “I love you,” what are we really saying? Most of us do not have a definition; we think it’s about the things we do, having nothing to do with loving someone just because.

The things we do and say often have nothing to do with love or what it means. It is not blame or a product of our expectations; it is a feeling of deep care without conditions. Why do we place conditions on love? Fear. We don’t know if we really want to love or be loved by others because of the fear we might lose ourselves, end up in a lot of pain or become trapped. Some of us fear loss and abandonment. I touch on insecure attachment to highlight how many of us get wrapped up in our expectations as a means of avoiding real love. Learn how to move out of “expectation land” so you can open yourself up to what true, unconditional love really is.

When we speak the words “I love you,” what are we really saying? Most of us do not have a definition; we think it’s about the things we do, having nothing to do with loving someone just because.

The things we do and say often have nothing to do with love or what it means. It is not blame or a product of our expectations; it is a feeling of deep care without conditions. Why do we place conditions on love? Fear. We don’t know if we really want to love or be loved by others because of the fear we might lose ourselves, end up in a lot of pain or become trapped. Some of us fear loss and abandonment. I touch on insecure attachment to highlight how many of us get wrapped up in our expectations as a means of avoiding real love. Learn how to move out of “expectation land” so you can open yourself up to what true, unconditional love really is.

Insecure attachment is a subject I have touched on in several podcasts, and in this weekly Tuesday series I will include some moments from my own life, along with “how to” tips for getting to your feelings and changing your attachment one piece at a time.

None of my relationships were based in love; they were based in attachment. I didn’t know this at the time, however, because I had no means of comparison. I had the notion of love SO WRONG. How about you? I speak to people of all ages who have never experienced true, intimate love. They experienced what they thought was love, but was really just straight-up “can’t live without you,” or “devastation when met with silence,” or “abandonment with a constant state of anxiety.” These are not love.

Looking back I see that my relationships were all about having it my way, even though I didn’t think so at the time. I was so busy people pleasing, trying to be perfect and keeping score that I left my mate little choice but to go along with it. And when he didn’t, I would blame him and build a case. Fear creates all sorts of issues around emotional availability, keeping you from taking responsibility in relationships, which translates into drama, pain and disconnection. Learn how to FEEL the feelings you’ve pushed aside, and how to navigate your emotions in a way that connects you to yourself for deeper, happier relationships.

Insecure attachment is a subject I have touched on in several podcasts, and in this weekly Tuesday series I will include some moments from my own life, along with “how to” tips for getting to your feelings and changing your attachment one piece at a time.

None of my relationships were based in love; they were based in attachment. I didn’t know this at the time, however, because I had no means of comparison. I had the notion of love SO WRONG. How about you? I speak to people of all ages who have never experienced true, intimate love. They experienced what they thought was love, but was really just straight-up “can’t live without you,” or “devastation when met with silence,” or “abandonment with a constant state of anxiety.” These are not love.

Looking back I see that my relationships were all about having it my way, even though I didn’t think so at the time. I was so busy people pleasing, trying to be perfect and keeping score that I left my mate little choice but to go along with it. And when he didn’t, I would blame him and build a case. Fear creates all sorts of issues around emotional availability, keeping you from taking responsibility in relationships, which translates into drama, pain and disconnection. Learn how to FEEL the feelings you’ve pushed aside, and how to navigate your emotions in a way that connects you to yourself for deeper, happier relationships.

Insecure attachment is a subject I have touched on in several podcasts, and in this weekly Tuesday series I will include some moments from my own life, along with “how to” tips for getting to your feelings and changing your attachment one piece at a time.

None of my relationships were based in love; they were based in attachment. I didn’t know this at the time, however, because I had no means of comparison. I had the notion of love SO WRONG. How about you? I speak to people of all ages who have never experienced true, intimate love. They experienced what they thought was love, but was really just straight-up “can’t live without you,” or “devastation when met with silence,” or “abandonment with a constant state of anxiety.” These are not love.

Looking back I see that my relationships were all about having it my way, even though I didn’t think so at the time. I was so busy people pleasing, trying to be perfect and keeping score that I left my mate little choice but to go along with it. And when he didn’t, I would blame him and build a case. Fear creates all sorts of issues around emotional availability, keeping you from taking responsibility in relationships, which translates into drama, pain and disconnection. Learn how to FEEL the feelings you’ve pushed aside, and how to navigate your emotions in a way that connects you to yourself for deeper, happier relationships.

Insecure attachment is a subject I have touched on in several podcasts, and in this weekly Tuesday series I will include some moments from my own life, along with “how to” tips for getting to your feelings and changing your attachment one piece at a time.

None of my relationships were based in love; they were based in attachment. I didn’t know this at the time, however, because I had no means of comparison. I had the notion of love SO WRONG. How about you? I speak to people of all ages who have never experienced true, intimate love. They experienced what they thought was love, but was really just straight-up “can’t live without you,” or “devastation when met with silence,” or “abandonment with a constant state of anxiety.” These are not love.

Looking back I see that my relationships were all about having it my way, even though I didn’t think so at the time. I was so busy people pleasing, trying to be perfect and keeping score that I left my mate little choice but to go along with it. And when he didn’t, I would blame him and build a case. Fear creates all sorts of issues around emotional availability, keeping you from taking responsibility in relationships, which translates into drama, pain and disconnection. Learn how to FEEL the feelings you’ve pushed aside, and how to navigate your emotions in a way that connects you to yourself for deeper, happier relationships.

Clinging to your belief rather than expanding and challenging it is how you lose personal power. Really, you have no power because you’ve given it away to a belief system you may not even realize is operating. And then you look to others to fix things. Many people are convinced their belief is the only way to see the world, and at the same time, they don’t own it. They act as though they didn’t create their own reality.

Thinking your life is someone else's responsibility—your boss, your government, your parents (even as an adult), your mate—is a good way to stay stuck; waiting for them to fix your life to suit your belief. At the same time, you won’t challenge yourself because of fear; fear that your belief MIGHT just be untrue. Ever wonder why you exclude others who don’t think or believe the way you do? Because it keeps you safely inside your bubble so you can cling to your view, remain a victim and maybe even act self-righteous, allowing no room for someone else to show up without judging them.

The consciousness of this planet, of people living in harmony and peace, won’t change until people look within and start challenging their belief system. PERIOD. Learn what beliefs you cling to and why… then start to chip away at them so you can live a happier, more peaceful inner existence that is full of choice, empowerment and love.

Clinging to your belief rather than expanding and challenging it is how you lose personal power. Really, you have no power because you’ve given it away to a belief system you may not even realize is operating. And then you look to others to fix things. Many people are convinced their belief is the only way to see the world, and at the same time, they don’t own it. They act as though they didn’t create their own reality.

Thinking your life is someone else's responsibility—your boss, your government, your parents (even as an adult), your mate—is a good way to stay stuck; waiting for them to fix your life to suit your belief. At the same time, you won’t challenge yourself because of fear; fear that your belief MIGHT just be untrue. Ever wonder why you exclude others who don’t think or believe the way you do? Because it keeps you safely inside your bubble so you can cling to your view, remain a victim and maybe even act self-righteous, allowing no room for someone else to show up without judging them.

The consciousness of this planet, of people living in harmony and peace, won’t change until people look within and start challenging their belief system. PERIOD. Learn what beliefs you cling to and why… then start to chip away at them so you can live a happier, more peaceful inner existence that is full of choice, empowerment and love.