Freedom from Attachment

Do you have a rubber band or yo-yo in our life? You know, that person who made a dramatic exit only to make a re-entry… bringing those old feelings you thought were dead back to the surface? Part of you cannot believe he/she is back in your life, whether it was someone you couldn’t get over or someone you THOUGHT you were over until they swatted at your hornet’s nest of emotions.

One of the biggest challenges of these “back again” relationships is not giving all of your power to the other person. It’s so easy to slip backwards into the familiar tango, especially when that eruption of old feelings appears beyond your control. Gaining control of yourself is NOT mental, however. It comes from emotional growth; from dealing with your old (even from childhood) pain that evolved into a belief system which, as an adult, can lead to someone else exerting “special powers” over you. This can even happen when you’re already engaged in another relationship—I’ve seen it happen many times.

In order to let go and not get swallowed up, you must allow the feelings inside you to be what they are. Accept them. Surrender. Then it will be an act of creativity—feeling what you feel (not resisting) and refocusing on love rather than attachment. You have to go through the mental constructs that keep this relationship alive in the old way; then find yourself by getting vulnerable. Feel what you’re afraid to feel. Only then will you set yourself free. It can be the path toward allowing real love into your life… perhaps for the first time in your adult life.

Do you have a rubber band or yo-yo in our life? You know, that person who made a dramatic exit only to make a re-entry… bringing those old feelings you thought were dead back to the surface? Part of you cannot believe he/she is back in your life, whether it was someone you couldn’t get over or someone you THOUGHT you were over until they swatted at your hornet’s nest of emotions.

One of the biggest challenges of these “back again” relationships is not giving all of your power to the other person. It’s so easy to slip backwards into the familiar tango, especially when that eruption of old feelings appears beyond your control. Gaining control of yourself is NOT mental, however. It comes from emotional growth; from dealing with your old (even from childhood) pain that evolved into a belief system which, as an adult, can lead to someone else exerting “special powers” over you. This can even happen when you’re already engaged in another relationship—I’ve seen it happen many times.

In order to let go and not get swallowed up, you must allow the feelings inside you to be what they are. Accept them. Surrender. Then it will be an act of creativity—feeling what you feel (not resisting) and refocusing on love rather than attachment. You have to go through the mental constructs that keep this relationship alive in the old way; then find yourself by getting vulnerable. Feel what you’re afraid to feel. Only then will you set yourself free. It can be the path toward allowing real love into your life… perhaps for the first time in your adult life.

Some of us believe (subconsciously) that someone else is responsible for our lives; hoping and praying they deliver… and complaining when they don’t. Unfortunately chasing, coercing or manipulating to get others to cooperate is a losing proposition. Because how long will it last? And really, for what reason? What part of us needs to be rescued when we are so fixated on what someone else needs to provide?

Often, people who have given up their power to someone else in order to be rescued have a story. Perhaps that story is that they’re unlovable, or that they give and give to the point that people stomp all over them (giving to get, by the way, is a form of control and manipulation). Many don’t even understand why they are compelled to operate this way. But if you stop for a moment at look at why you want to be rescued, you may see that it’s attached to a very OLD need rather than the current truth. And even if you realize this on some level, you may still continue to grab hold and ignore the triggers inside because you’re conditioned to believe the solution lies outside of you. Well, it doesn’t.

Isn’t it time to understand your old beliefs and triggers so you can feel more in control of yourself, rather than think you can get what you want 24/7 from someone else? Tune in to hear more.

Some of us believe (subconsciously) that someone else is responsible for our lives; hoping and praying they deliver… and complaining when they don’t. Unfortunately chasing, coercing or manipulating to get others to cooperate is a losing proposition. Because how long will it last? And really, for what reason? What part of us needs to be rescued when we are so fixated on what someone else needs to provide?

Often, people who have given up their power to someone else in order to be rescued have a story. Perhaps that story is that they’re unlovable, or that they give and give to the point that people stomp all over them (giving to get, by the way, is a form of control and manipulation). Many don’t even understand why they are compelled to operate this way. But if you stop for a moment at look at why you want to be rescued, you may see that it’s attached to a very OLD need rather than the current truth. And even if you realize this on some level, you may still continue to grab hold and ignore the triggers inside because you’re conditioned to believe the solution lies outside of you. Well, it doesn’t.

Isn’t it time to understand your old beliefs and triggers so you can feel more in control of yourself, rather than think you can get what you want 24/7 from someone else? Tune in to hear more.

Some of us believe (subconsciously) that someone else is responsible for our lives; hoping and praying they deliver… and complaining when they don’t. Unfortunately chasing, coercing or manipulating to get others to cooperate is a losing proposition. Because how long will it last? And really, for what reason? What part of us needs to be rescued when we are so fixated on what someone else needs to provide?

Often, people who have given up their power to someone else in order to be rescued have a story. Perhaps that story is that they’re unlovable, or that they give and give to the point that people stomp all over them (giving to get, by the way, is a form of control and manipulation). Many don’t even understand why they are compelled to operate this way. But if you stop for a moment at look at why you want to be rescued, you may see that it’s attached to a very OLD need rather than the current truth. And even if you realize this on some level, you may still continue to grab hold and ignore the triggers inside because you’re conditioned to believe the solution lies outside of you. Well, it doesn’t.

Isn’t it time to understand your old beliefs and triggers so you can feel more in control of yourself, rather than think you can get what you want 24/7 from someone else? Tune in to hear more.

Some of us believe (subconsciously) that someone else is responsible for our lives; hoping and praying they deliver… and complaining when they don’t. Unfortunately chasing, coercing or manipulating to get others to cooperate is a losing proposition. Because how long will it last? And really, for what reason? What part of us needs to be rescued when we are so fixated on what someone else needs to provide?

Often, people who have given up their power to someone else in order to be rescued have a story. Perhaps that story is that they’re unlovable, or that they give and give to the point that people stomp all over them (giving to get, by the way, is a form of control and manipulation). Many don’t even understand why they are compelled to operate this way. But if you stop for a moment at look at why you want to be rescued, you may see that it’s attached to a very OLD need rather than the current truth. And even if you realize this on some level, you may still continue to grab hold and ignore the triggers inside because you’re conditioned to believe the solution lies outside of you. Well, it doesn’t.

Isn’t it time to understand your old beliefs and triggers so you can feel more in control of yourself, rather than think you can get what you want 24/7 from someone else? Tune in to hear more.

Most people I work with (myself included) are always in a hurry. We are in a rush to mentally “get it” and intellectually categorize so we can move on; check the list then throw it away. As a result, we rashly label other people or situations as bad so we can wash our hands of it and step away. By doing that, we think we solve the problem. We don’t. When looking at someone else as the problem, we’re not really moving forward. We’re stuck. And sometimes you have to go backwards to see how you showed up and what you’ve created before you can release yourself.

The problem is, we’re in such a rush to keep progressing forward that we miss the important work that comes from slowing down and looking back. We can’t be bothered, and for some reason, we think forward is always better. Like a car on a track with no reverse. But wherever you go, there you are, and cleaning up the past will propel you forward faster than forcing yourself to get there. Listen in to find your reverse gear. In the long-run, you may be surprised to find it’s actually the shorter route.

Most people I work with (myself included) are always in a hurry. We are in a rush to mentally “get it” and intellectually categorize so we can move on; check the list then throw it away. As a result, we rashly label other people or situations as bad so we can wash our hands of it and step away. By doing that, we think we solve the problem. We don’t. When looking at someone else as the problem, we’re not really moving forward. We’re stuck. And sometimes you have to go backwards to see how you showed up and what you’ve created before you can release yourself.

The problem is, we’re in such a rush to keep progressing forward that we miss the important work that comes from slowing down and looking back. We can’t be bothered, and for some reason, we think forward is always better. Like a car on a track with no reverse. But wherever you go, there you are, and cleaning up the past will propel you forward faster than forcing yourself to get there. Listen in to find your reverse gear. In the long-run, you may be surprised to find it’s actually the shorter route.

Most people I work with (myself included) are always in a hurry. We are in a rush to mentally “get it” and intellectually categorize so we can move on; check the list then throw it away. As a result, we rashly label other people or situations as bad so we can wash our hands of it and step away. By doing that, we think we solve the problem. We don’t. When looking at someone else as the problem, we’re not really moving forward. We’re stuck. And sometimes you have to go backwards to see how you showed up and what you’ve created before you can release yourself.

The problem is, we’re in such a rush to keep progressing forward that we miss the important work that comes from slowing down and looking back. We can’t be bothered, and for some reason, we think forward is always better. Like a car on a track with no reverse. But wherever you go, there you are, and cleaning up the past will propel you forward faster than forcing yourself to get there. Listen in to find your reverse gear. In the long-run, you may be surprised to find it’s actually the shorter route.

Most people I work with (myself included) are always in a hurry. We are in a rush to mentally “get it” and intellectually categorize so we can move on; check the list then throw it away. As a result, we rashly label other people or situations as bad so we can wash our hands of it and step away. By doing that, we think we solve the problem. We don’t. When looking at someone else as the problem, we’re not really moving forward. We’re stuck. And sometimes you have to go backwards to see how you showed up and what you’ve created before you can release yourself.

The problem is, we’re in such a rush to keep progressing forward that we miss the important work that comes from slowing down and looking back. We can’t be bothered, and for some reason, we think forward is always better. Like a car on a track with no reverse. But wherever you go, there you are, and cleaning up the past will propel you forward faster than forcing yourself to get there. Listen in to find your reverse gear. In the long-run, you may be surprised to find it’s actually the shorter route.