Most of us have a picture in our head of what we want our lives to be, and we judge our reality (good or bad) according to that picture. We want the universe—or someone or something—to fix what we consider “bad,” not realizing it’s our perception that makes it so. When life doesn’t match our picture, we feel crappy and unfulfilled, so we implore the universe to give us what we want. That’s the law of attraction, right? Perhaps you want to be married, but get angry when none of your online matches check your boxes. Being so fixated on how you think that person will look or where they will show up may result in you looking right past them.

If you want the law of attraction to work, stop asking for what you need exactly how you need it, and try surrendering. Toss out the picture you’ve used to compare and judge yourself. It doesn’t serve you. Instead of blaming the universe for not delivering what you ask for, trust that it will bring you what you need. It may not come the way you expect, but you’ll end up with more of what you TRULY want. Go all in and start by surrendering to love. Ditch the checklist and you’ll find that your life and your happiness are readily available to you. Just trust and let go…

Most of us have a picture in our head of what we want our lives to be, and we judge our reality (good or bad) according to that picture. We want the universe—or someone or something—to fix what we consider “bad,” not realizing it’s our perception that makes it so. When life doesn’t match our picture, we feel crappy and unfulfilled, so we implore the universe to give us what we want. That’s the law of attraction, right? Perhaps you want to be married, but get angry when none of your online matches check your boxes. Being so fixated on how you think that person will look or where they will show up may result in you looking right past them.

If you want the law of attraction to work, stop asking for what you need exactly how you need it, and try surrendering. Toss out the picture you’ve used to compare and judge yourself. It doesn’t serve you. Instead of blaming the universe for not delivering what you ask for, trust that it will bring you what you need. It may not come the way you expect, but you’ll end up with more of what you TRULY want. Go all in and start by surrendering to love. Ditch the checklist and you’ll find that your life and your happiness are readily available to you. Just trust and let go…

Most of us have a picture in our head of what we want our lives to be, and we judge our reality (good or bad) according to that picture. We want the universe—or someone or something—to fix what we consider “bad,” not realizing it’s our perception that makes it so. When life doesn’t match our picture, we feel crappy and unfulfilled, so we implore the universe to give us what we want. That’s the law of attraction, right? Perhaps you want to be married, but get angry when none of your online matches check your boxes. Being so fixated on how you think that person will look or where they will show up may result in you looking right past them.

If you want the law of attraction to work, stop asking for what you need exactly how you need it, and try surrendering. Toss out the picture you’ve used to compare and judge yourself. It doesn’t serve you. Instead of blaming the universe for not delivering what you ask for, trust that it will bring you what you need. It may not come the way you expect, but you’ll end up with more of what you TRULY want. Go all in and start by surrendering to love. Ditch the checklist and you’ll find that your life and your happiness are readily available to you. Just trust and let go…

To be in the present moment we need to accept what is. Not what we want the situation to be or how we would prefer to feel, but what is ACTUALLY going on right now. That’s very hard to do when attached to someone because we tend to live in a fantasy where things are the way we want them to be, and we act from that place, instead of how we actually feel according to reality. Non-acceptance keeps us stuck because we’re focused on the perceived problem (usually created by our thoughts) about the other person rather than the solution. Then we put ourselves down when we can’t move past it, which pushes us even further away from acceptance. It’s exhausting when what we want and what we have are two different things, but through accepting reality, we’re able to let go and focus on creating more of what we say we want.

What is an example of non-acceptance? Attaching to the idea that the person you’re with is a match because there are some really amazing things, even though red flags to the contrary abound. We avoid reality because we want to avoid the truth and all the feelings associated (disappointment, abandonment, loneliness, judgment, etc.). When we DO accept and allow those uncomfortable emotions, it enables us to move through it rather than staying stuck in denial. Fantasizing and wanting more where there clearly is no more keeps us stuck, while allowing us to dabble in reality. If things are ever going to change, it must begin with acceptance.

To be in the present moment we need to accept what is. Not what we want the situation to be or how we would prefer to feel, but what is ACTUALLY going on right now. That’s very hard to do when attached to someone because we tend to live in a fantasy where things are the way we want them to be, and we act from that place, instead of how we actually feel according to reality. Non-acceptance keeps us stuck because we’re focused on the perceived problem (usually created by our thoughts) about the other person rather than the solution. Then we put ourselves down when we can’t move past it, which pushes us even further away from acceptance. It’s exhausting when what we want and what we have are two different things, but through accepting reality, we’re able to let go and focus on creating more of what we say we want.

What is an example of non-acceptance? Attaching to the idea that the person you’re with is a match because there are some really amazing things, even though red flags to the contrary abound. We avoid reality because we want to avoid the truth and all the feelings associated (disappointment, abandonment, loneliness, judgment, etc.). When we DO accept and allow those uncomfortable emotions, it enables us to move through it rather than staying stuck in denial. Fantasizing and wanting more where there clearly is no more keeps us stuck, while allowing us to dabble in reality. If things are ever going to change, it must begin with acceptance.

To be in the present moment we need to accept what is. Not what we want the situation to be or how we would prefer to feel, but what is ACTUALLY going on right now. That’s very hard to do when attached to someone because we tend to live in a fantasy where things are the way we want them to be, and we act from that place, instead of how we actually feel according to reality. Non-acceptance keeps us stuck because we’re focused on the perceived problem (usually created by our thoughts) about the other person rather than the solution. Then we put ourselves down when we can’t move past it, which pushes us even further away from acceptance. It’s exhausting when what we want and what we have are two different things, but through accepting reality, we’re able to let go and focus on creating more of what we say we want.

What is an example of non-acceptance? Attaching to the idea that the person you’re with is a match because there are some really amazing things, even though red flags to the contrary abound. We avoid reality because we want to avoid the truth and all the feelings associated (disappointment, abandonment, loneliness, judgment, etc.). When we DO accept and allow those uncomfortable emotions, it enables us to move through it rather than staying stuck in denial. Fantasizing and wanting more where there clearly is no more keeps us stuck, while allowing us to dabble in reality. If things are ever going to change, it must begin with acceptance.

To be in the present moment we need to accept what is. Not what we want the situation to be or how we would prefer to feel, but what is ACTUALLY going on right now. That’s very hard to do when attached to someone because we tend to live in a fantasy where things are the way we want them to be, and we act from that place, instead of how we actually feel according to reality. Non-acceptance keeps us stuck because we’re focused on the perceived problem (usually created by our thoughts) about the other person rather than the solution. Then we put ourselves down when we can’t move past it, which pushes us even further away from acceptance. It’s exhausting when what we want and what we have are two different things, but through accepting reality, we’re able to let go and focus on creating more of what we say we want.

What is an example of non-acceptance? Attaching to the idea that the person you’re with is a match because there are some really amazing things, even though red flags to the contrary abound. We avoid reality because we want to avoid the truth and all the feelings associated (disappointment, abandonment, loneliness, judgment, etc.). When we DO accept and allow those uncomfortable emotions, it enables us to move through it rather than staying stuck in denial. Fantasizing and wanting more where there clearly is no more keeps us stuck, while allowing us to dabble in reality. If things are ever going to change, it must begin with acceptance.

Don’t be so hard on yourself. We often judge ourselves based on expectations of what OTHER people think is acceptable. Sometimes those people are specific (partner, mother, boss, friends, etc.) and sometimes they are the universal and imaginary “them.” We try so hard to be successful, and when we fail or fall short, we punish ourselves. I used to do it, and most of my relationships reflected that. I didn’t know how to create kindness inside of me because I was certain I had this huge invisible flaw that said I deserved to be punished.

Our inner critic beats us up more than anyone else. We are at its mercy until we start taking action toward being kind and compassionate to ourselves. This is not an easy task. We are so focused on taking care of ourselves externally (massages, vacations, relaxing, unplugging, etc.), that we avoid the huge mess inside. That’s not to say self-care isn’t important… it absolutely is. But it doesn’t replace showing yourself emotional kindness. Learn how to stop beating yourself up and feel a sense of well-being by being kind to yourself.

Don’t be so hard on yourself. We often judge ourselves based on expectations of what OTHER people think is acceptable. Sometimes those people are specific (partner, mother, boss, friends, etc.) and sometimes they are the universal and imaginary “them.” We try so hard to be successful, and when we fail or fall short, we punish ourselves. I used to do it, and most of my relationships reflected that. I didn’t know how to create kindness inside of me because I was certain I had this huge invisible flaw that said I deserved to be punished.

Our inner critic beats us up more than anyone else. We are at its mercy until we start taking action toward being kind and compassionate to ourselves. This is not an easy task. We are so focused on taking care of ourselves externally (massages, vacations, relaxing, unplugging, etc.), that we avoid the huge mess inside. That’s not to say self-care isn’t important… it absolutely is. But it doesn’t replace showing yourself emotional kindness. Learn how to stop beating yourself up and feel a sense of well-being by being kind to yourself.

Don’t be so hard on yourself. We often judge ourselves based on expectations of what OTHER people think is acceptable. Sometimes those people are specific (partner, mother, boss, friends, etc.) and sometimes they are the universal and imaginary “them.” We try so hard to be successful, and when we fail or fall short, we punish ourselves. I used to do it, and most of my relationships reflected that. I didn’t know how to create kindness inside of me because I was certain I had this huge invisible flaw that said I deserved to be punished.

Our inner critic beats us up more than anyone else. We are at its mercy until we start taking action toward being kind and compassionate to ourselves. This is not an easy task. We are so focused on taking care of ourselves externally (massages, vacations, relaxing, unplugging, etc.), that we avoid the huge mess inside. That’s not to say self-care isn’t important… it absolutely is. But it doesn’t replace showing yourself emotional kindness. Learn how to stop beating yourself up and feel a sense of well-being by being kind to yourself.