Newton Cheng is the Director of Health and Performance at Google, a world champion powerlifter, and a father. Throughout his 14 year career at Google, he overworked himself due to people-pleasing tendencies and began getting misaligned from his priorities and values, leading Newton to take a mental health leave in January of 2022. In February of 2021 his symptoms of burnout, anxiety, and depression got to the point where he started to realize just how significant the toll on his mental health was. He found himself struggling to get out of bed and felt a lot of shame for how he was failing to show up the way he wanted to as a husband and father. However, it still took awhile for him to decide to go on leave, because it felt like giving up. When Newton returned to Google after his mental health leave, he decided to share his story and be very upfront about his experiences to help others who may be suffering alone. 

 

“I was raised in a culture where we talked a lot about mental toughness and this felt like the opposite of that. But what I knew was I was not showing up the husband and father that I wanted to be, so something had to change,” shares Newton Cheng. When Newton started talking about his leave at work, he was a little surprised by how many of his co-workers chose to refer to it as a sabbatical. Mental health is still so stigmatized in today’s society that people can feel uncomfortable even just saying the words out loud. However, this does a disservice to everyone who is suffering in silence and who just needs someone to listen and understand what they are going through. Newton had gotten to the point where he was unable to get out of bed and dreading going to work, even though he loved his job and felt his work was important to him. He was not able to be the father he wanted to be or the husband he wanted to be, and the shame ate away at him. As he began to share his mental health struggles more, Newton found that many of his co-workers of all levels across the organization were suffering from similar symptoms of burnout and depression. Many people who burn out in these situations choose to quit their job completely, but Newton’s problem was not with the job, but rather with his approach and how he chose to structure his boundaries or lack of boundaries. Once he stepped back and reorganized his life to align better with his values and put boundaries in place that allowed him to spend more time with his family, Newton was able to break through his burnout and stay on at Google. 

 

Burning out at work does not necessarily mean you have to change your job. Sometimes all you need is to take a step away and restructure how you are approaching your work so that it can align better with the lifestyle you want. Tune into today’s episode of FRIED. The Burnout Podcast for a conversation with Newton Cheng about experiencing burnout in a corporate setting and how to move forward while keeping your job. 

 

Quotes

· “February 2021 was the first time I physically couldn't get out of bed. And I had read about this in terms of others experiences with mental health and depression, but I had never actually felt it. And it wasn't so much like a physical paralysis, it was overwhelming dread. So from there, I started seeing the employee assistance provider and he told me I was exhibiting early signs of burnout.” (7:18-7:42 | Newton)

· “I was raised in a culture where we talked a lot about mental toughness, and this felt like the opposite of that. But what I knew was I was not showing up the husband and father that I wanted to be, so something had to change.” (10:13-10:30 | Newton)

· “When I told people I was going on leave, people started calling it my sabbatical. And I kept reframing. I'm like, my ‘mental health leave’. And that was very interesting. I’m like, I think you're probably doing that out of respect, because you don't know my boundary there and I very much appreciate that, but I don't think that's helping anyone. It's not a sabbatical and people know it's not sabbatical. But if we call it a sabbatical, we're just reinforcing that we have to hide things.” (28:26-28:56 | Newton)

· “If we don't name what's actually going on, we can't actually address it.” (29:18-29:21 | Newton)

· “As I have shared my story, the people who have come to me privately to say, ‘I'm suffering too’, they are people like me. They are people junior to me in organizations, they're my peers, they are above me. They're all around us.” (55:22-55:40 | Newton) 

· “If you are suffering and you're in a situation similar to me, you are not alone.” (55:49-55:53 | Newton)

· “To leaders who are in a position like mine, change doesn't happen, transformation doesn't happen without true leadership. True leadership requires those of us with the privilege to take some risks, to try some things, maybe to take some things and fail. But we got to do it and we got to share what we learn. And that's how we're going to move forward.” (56:06-56:25 | Newton)

 

Links

 

https://cuely.ai/FRIED

https://womensmeditationnetwork.com/

 

Connect with Newton Cheng:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/newtoncheng/?hl=en

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/newtoncheng/

 

https://caitdonovan.com/resentment-journal

https://www.friedtheburnoutpodcast.com/post/jim-young-ceo-dad-burnout-emotional-gold-digging-and-why-relationships-matter

 

Resource Newton Mentions:

Byron Katie: https://thework.com/

XOXO,

C

 

If you know that it’s time to actually DO something about the burnout cycle you’ve been in for too long - book your free consult today: bit.ly/callcait

 

https://friedtheburnoutpodcast.com/quiz

 

Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

“Just keep going, it will change.” This is Elizabeth Collins’s burnout story, simplified into six words. The Cait-proclaimed Burnout Witch, Elizabeth now specializes in helping others recover from burnout. However, she was only able to truly thrive in this role after confronting her own feelings of not-enough-ness and developing the boundaries and coping skills she needed to regain a sense of balance in both body and brain. 

 

Elizabeth is the owner and director of The East West Company, an integrative wellness practice specializing in burnout recovery coaching, functional medicine, acupuncture and more. Elizabeth explains that functional medicine is a crossover between biomedicine and Eastern medicine; it uses a wide range of testing to identify and address the root cause of a presenting issue. Because the incredible breadth of functional medicine testing can seem overwhelming to someone who is burnt out, Elizabeth suggests starting simple with a blood panel and a stool test. This approach helps individuals correct any initial imbalances, which sets them on a more manageable path towards burnout recovery.

 

Tune into this week’s episode of FRIED. The Burnout Podcast to hear more about the intersections between functional medicine and burnout. Learn about the ins and outs of leaky gut, why Elizabeth uses tarot cards to broaden her clients’ perspectives, and why feelings of gratitude and frustration can and should co-exist.

 

Quotes

• “I had ‘Big T’ trauma, so that very much set me up for a lifetime of perfectionism, a lifetime of not really understanding that I am worthy of love simply because I exist.” (04:00-04:10)
• “My burnout story was: ‘just keep going, it will change.’” (07:26-07:32) 
• “That happens to people who are chronic people pleasers, who are prone to burnout….It’s very easy for you to set aside what you like because you’re more concerned about what needs to happen now, and it’s like, but what you like is what needs to happen now!” (10:49-11:05)
• “[Functional medicine] is kind of like if biomedicine and Eastern medicine had a baby.” (15:14-15:17)
• “When we’re in burnout, it’s very difficult to see anything other  than what we’re focusing on, which is usually panic, stress and anxiety. And the benefit when I started reading my own tarot cards again was...oh, this card popped up and it means this. How does that relate to my current situation? What is it about this card that can give me the opportunity to stop focusing on the minutia and look at the bigger picture?” (31:28-31:55) 
• “Being able to address different aspects of your personality and speak to them directly like they’re individuals gives a sense of agency to the experience, and it really gives people the opportunity to fully integrate those personalities.” (36:28-36:42)
• “We are complicated enough individuals that we can feel very bad about something that we’re going through and still be very grateful for the good things that it gives us or the other good things in our life….They’re not mutually exclusive, and the idea that we have to inhabit one thing at any given time is unsustainable and unfair and will absolutely perpetuate burnout.” (38:00-38:28)
• “If you have symptoms or you are living a life that is in your experience suboptimal, but in the greater perspective not catastrophic....you are not crazy, and there is help.” (49:10-49:35)

 

Links

https://insighttimer.com/ 

www.theeastwestco.com 

www.instagram.com/theeastwestco 

www.instagram.com/thevintagemystic 

 

XOXO,

C

 

If you know that it’s time to actually DO something about the burnout cycle you’ve been in for too long - book your free consult today: bit.ly/callcait

Are you always trying to meet other people’s expectations, even when those expectations may not be completely clear? Unclear expectations for a role, whether that be in relation to a job or a relationship, can reduce feelings of psychological safety and increase the potential for burnout. In today’s #straightfromcait episode, Cait explains the research behind why external expectations and role ambiguity play a role in burnout and how to ask for clarity when it is lacking. 

 

When you are having to guess at someone’s expectations, you will end up feeling on edge and pushing yourself harder and harder trying to reach that unspecified goal. Research shows that role ambiguity, or a lack of clarity in your job role, can come into play not only at work, but also within relationships at home and with friends. When you are able to predict how another person will react and set up expectations for yourself relative to that predicted outcome, your feelings of safety will increase and your risk of burnout will decrease. By simply having a conversation that focuses on clarifying and setting expectations, you can improve overall communication and increase your own internal feelings of safety.

 

It is exhausting trying to meet expectations all the time, especially if the expectations you are trying to meet are unclear or simply a guess on your part. In order to gain clarity, improve your relationships, and reduce overall stress, it is important to communicate effectively. Tune into this week’s #straightfromcait episode for a conversation about how to determine other’s actual expectations. Learn why assuming other’s expectations can lead to burnout and how to ask for clarity. 

RESEARCH:

Maslach et. al. (2001). Job burnout. Annu Rev Psychol. 52. 397-422. 

Quotes

· “If you are feeling unclear about someone's expectations, and you are guessing at them, and you never quite get feedback on whether or not you're hitting the target, you're always going to feel on edge. And you're always going to push for doing things a little bit harder, a little bit more intense, to a better degree, to a higher degree. It'll never stop because you don't know when you've met the expectation.” (3:54-4:20 | Cait)

· “Burnout recovery happens when we increase our feelings of safety internally and externally.” (5:41-5:46 | Cait) 

· “You are more likely to experience burnout while also experiencing role ambiguity, a lack of clarity in your job role.” (7:06-7:14 | Cait)

· “Sharing with someone what your thinking is behind the situation gives them a better idea of how you're looking at it and what's happening in your world, so that they can respond appropriately.” (10:33-10:44 | Cait)

 

Links 

 

https://caitdonovan.com

https://friedtheburnoutpodcast.com

https://facebook.com/groups/friedtheburnoutpodcast

XOXO,

C

 

If you know that it’s time to actually DO something about the burnout cycle you’ve been in for too long - book your free consult today: bit.ly/callcait

 

https://friedtheburnoutpodcast.com/quiz

 

Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Farnoosh Torabi is an award winning personal finance journalist, author, keynote speaker, television reporter, and host of the So Money podcast. She uses her 20 years of experience to help people master their money. While living in New York City with her husband, she realized that changes needed to be made to their lifestyle to reduce stress and improve their overall quality of life. They ended up deciding to move out of the city to save money, which ultimately reduced stress and opened up more time for other opportunities. Now Farnoosh helps everyone from entrepreneurs to influencers learn how to manage their finances and make the most of their money.

 

“When I was a little girl, I thought two things equaled freedom, and I don't think I was wrong. Money in the bank and a driver's license,” shares Farnoosh Torabi. She explains that having money literally puts you in the driver’s seat of your own life. It provides you with agency over your decisions that no one else can question. A lot of entrepreneurs are glamorized for taking big risks, maxing out their credit cards, and starving themselves while they try to get their business running. This should not be the norm at all. Instead, it is better to not treat it like a race and to spend as much time as necessary building financial security prior to starting a business. There are many opportunities to earn money nowadays outside of a traditional 9 to 5. You can make extra money by taking up an hourly gig, pet sitting, selling unwanted items on Facebook Marketplace, babysitting, or in any number of ways. The most important thing is to reframe your idea of success and of what a job is supposed to be and recognize that a job can truly be just a job. You do not have to monetize your passions or be extremely emotionally invested in your job. 

 

There are a lot of misconceptions about finances and it is important to be innovative when it comes to finding ways to make and save money. People are living longer and retirement at 60 is no longer the goal for everyone, nor is it necessarily attainable. However, a pension is not the only way to secure financial stability for your future and it is vital to save money regardless, because that pension is not guaranteed in today’s world. Tune into today’s episode of FRIED. The Burnout Podcast for a conversation with Farnoosh Torabi about how to build financial safety, when to quit a job and when to stick it out, and creative ways to make extra money. 

 

Quotes

· “I remember picking up a book called The Upside of Stress. Because I was like, I need to learn how to live with this. I don't think this is going away.” (7:09-7:17 | Farnoosh)

· “Changing your definition of success is one of the key factors in creating a burnout proof life after you've recovered. Because you can't go back to the system that you were in. You are not going to build enough resilience to live in that system as it is unless some of it changes.” (14:44-15:02 | Cait)

· “When you are burned out at work, maybe the response is not to quit, but rather, ‘Have you even had a conversation with your manager?’ And so you don't have to throw out the baby with the bathwater. You don't have to think, 'Well, my only option is to quit and lose everything that I've worked towards.'” (20:46-21:02 | Farnoosh) 

· “When you feel behind in your 40s, don't let that discourage you from just continuing the good work of putting the consistent money into that bank account, into that investment account, because it is never too late.” (28:47-29:01 | Farnoosh)

· “When I was a little girl, I thought two things equaled freedom, and I don't think I was wrong. Money in the bank, and a driver's license.” (41:22-41:30 | Farnoosh)

· “Don't tell me that money doesn't earn you safety. It at least buys you the opportunity to make choices for yourself that nobody else can enforce. It gives you agency.” (43:40-43:51 | Farnoosh)

· “Sometimes it's really about a reframe, and thinking like, ‘Okay, well, this job, I'm grateful for the fact that I can do it. The paycheck comes every two weeks. I get benefits. I get some paid time off. And then I can go and live the other life that I have.” (47:18-47:33 | Farnoosh)

 

Links

 

Connect with Farnoosh Torabi:

http://www.somoneypodcast.com

http://www.instagram.com/farnooshtorabi

https://www.cnet.com/feature/signup-so-money/

https://cuely.ai/FRIED 

XOXO,

C

 

If you know that it’s time to actually DO something about the burnout cycle you’ve been in for too long - book your free consult today: bit.ly/callcait

 

https://friedtheburnoutpodcast.com/quiz

 

Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

There are many risk factors for burnout. The good news is that each risk factor is multidirectional and by working on any one of them, you are likely to positively change others. It can feel overwhelming to confront all of the risk factors for burnout, so in today’s #straightfromcait episode, Cait breaks them all down into six overarching categories. These categories are workplace, family, self, culture, environment, and health. 

 

Here in the United States there is an extreme amount of pressure and importance placed on hard work and individuality. The issue with these being the major cultural values is that overworking can and does quite literally cause death through having an overall negative impact on long-term health. In addition, relying completely on yourself to accomplish every single thing and not leaning into the strength of our communities is a large contributor to eventual burnout. When considering burnout, the majority of research comes from workplace studies, however, there are several other categories to consider for a broader view. How you were raised, the family you have currently, the environment you live and work in, and your physical and mental health conditions all contribute toward burnout in their own ways. By setting aside time for self care, making necessary lifestyle changes, and really considering each of the burnout risk factors that you identify with, you can make lasting and significant changes that help you to prevent or heal from burnout. 

 

The risk factors for burnout are too numerous to count, but they do all tend to fall into six main interconnected categories. By making improvements in one area, you are likely influencing several others at the same time. Tune into this week’s #straightfromcait episode for a conversation about the six categories of burnout risk factors. Learn what to keep an eye out for and what changes to make in order to positively influence your burnout recovery or even to prevent burnout before it occurs. 

 

Quotes

· “We might be talking about some sort of family trauma, and you have to know that that affects your environment. And that also affects your health. And it also affects your sense of self and how you function in the world. Right? So there's a lot going on here. Everything affects everything else.” (4:28-4:45 | Cait)

· “A study that was combined between the World Health Organization and the International Labor Org showed that working 55 plus hours a week resulted in approximately three quarters of a million deaths over the course of a year through stroke and heart attack mostly. And this was shown to be especially true for those over 45.” (5:38-5:59 | Cait)

· “If it is an epigenetic change, we can affect change on it. Because epigenetics are fluid, right? We can move them, they can change. But it does require a lot of self care.” (12:20-12:31 | Cait)

· “If you did not have access to or take advantage of access to green space, being in nature, your overall health will suffer and your energy will suffer and increase your risk of burnout.” (12:58-13:09 | Cait)

 

Links 

https://caitdonovan.as.me/free

https://caitdonovan.as.me/inquiry

 

These references should be in the show notes:

REFERENCES

Bar, M., & Maital, N. (2007) Visual elements of subjective preference modulate amygdala activation.” Neuropsychologia. 45(10). pp. 2191-2200. 10.1016/j.neuropsychologia.2007.03.008.

Berk, L. (2019). Exploring Adult and Adolescent Development. Pearson. Cht 3.

Huberman Lab. (2022). Using light to optimize health. https://hubermanlab.com/using-light-sunlight-blue-light-and-red-light-to-optimize-health/

Ishizu, T., and Semir Z. (2011). Toward a brain-based theory of beauty. PLOS One, https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0021852.

Maslach, C., Schaufeli, W.B., Leiter, M.P. (2001). Job burnout. Annual Reviews of Psychology. 52. 397-422

World Health Organization. (2021). Long working hours increasing deaths from heart disease and stroke. https://www.who.int/news/item/17-05-2021-long-working-hours-increasing-deaths-from-heart-disease-and-stroke-who-ilo

XOXO,

C

 

If you know that it’s time to actually DO something about the burnout cycle you’ve been in for too long - book your free consult today: bit.ly/callcait

 

https://friedtheburnoutpodcast.com/quiz

 

Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Nicole Kalil is a speaker, leadership strategist, respected coach, author, and podcast host. She spent 15 years working for a financial planning company where she was frequently the only woman in the room. After so many years of working hard for promotions, pushing down her feminine qualities in favor of leaning into more stereotypically masculine traits, Nicole realized she no longer even knew who she was authentically anymore. She had become so burned out that she hated her job, hated the people around her, and had lost herself in endless people-pleasing. Now Nicole helps other women to put aside gender expectations, regain their confidence, and learn to hear and trust their inner voices so that they can live authentically. 

 

“Our confidence lives inside of us, and it's accessible anytime we want. We have just been socialized and received messaging to the contrary pretty much our whole lives,” explains Nicole Kalil. Due to the way girls are often socialized while growing up, many women falsely believe that confidence is something that exists externally. So much of societal conditioning tells women that confidence can be found by dressing a certain way, behaving a certain way, having perfect children, or having the right job. Nicole refers to this as the ‘confidence con’, because the truth is that confidence exists within everyone and it is accessible as soon as we choose to trust ourselves. The first step to regaining confidence is to learn how to listen for your inner voice and how to differentiate it from ‘head trash’ or how Nicole refers to the bullying voice that exists within our minds, usually consisting of mean statements from others. The easiest way to differentiate head trash from your true inner voice is that head trash is always mean. If you are speaking to yourself in a way that you’d never speak to a loved one, that is head trash. 

 

We have been conditioned all our lives to believe that confidence exists externally and that we have to fit into certain societal standards in order to deserve it. The truth is that we are all deserving of confidence and it lives within us, ready for us to tap into at any time. Tune into today’s episode of FRIED. The Burnout Podcast for a conversation with Nicole Kalil about the confidence con, how to differentiate head trash from your inner voice, and how to compost or recycle head trash into something that can help rather than hinder your growth. 

 

Quotes

· “I didn't know who I was authentically anymore. And I was hating my work, was hating the people I was doing it with, through no fault of their own, just because I had put myself in this position where I tried to show up and please everyone else, but myself.” (5:49-6:06 | Nicole)

· “I think women far too often are waiting to be ready. They're waiting for the fear and the nervousness to go away and only have excitement and readiness. And I'm like, oh, gosh, we're waiting too long.” (12:34-12:48 | Nicole)

· “Our confidence lives inside of us, and it's accessible anytime we want. We have just been socialized and received messaging to the contrary pretty much our whole lives.” (13:45-13:55 | Nicole) 

· “I would encourage you to think about how you build trust with another person or how somebody else builds trust with you. That's probably going to give you the best insight into how you build trust with yourself.” (38:47-38:57 | Nicole)

 

Links

 

Connect with Nicole Kalil:

www.nicolekalil.com

https://nicolekalil.com/book

https://www.instagram.com/nicolemkalil/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicolekalil/

http://eepurl.com/gOrQLL Join our community! 

 

 

XOXO,

C

 

If you know that it’s time to actually DO something about the burnout cycle you’ve been in for too long - book your free consult today: bit.ly/callcait

 

https://friedtheburnoutpodcast.com/quiz

 

Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Highly sensitive people often assume they are simply wired that way from birth and that there is nothing that can be done to change their sensitivity. In this week’s #straightfromsarah episode, FRIED Burnout Coach Sarah Vosen discusses changes in her sensitivity levels that she has experienced since recovering from burnout and the potential for negative effects of high sensitivity to lessen as the nervous system heals. 

Chronic stress can cause our nervous system to get stuck in a feedback loop of more and more stress that ultimately leads to burnout. If you already have a higher level of sensitivity, burnout is going to be an even more likely result of chronic stress and troubling experiences. Sarah explains the six defining characteristics of highly sensitive people and how these characteristics have diminished throughout her healing journey. These characteristics are needing more time and space for processing experiences, differential susceptibility, overstimulation, empathy, emotional responsiveness, and awareness of subtle stimuli. 

Although some aspects of high sensitivity may not entirely go away upon healing from burnout, there is strong evidence to suggest that as healing occurs, certain characteristics decrease. Tune into this week’s #straightfromsarah episode to learn more about each of the six characteristics of highly sensitive people and to discover how they relate to your own journey as you are healing from burnout. 

Quotes

· “If we have had troubled lives, we are more susceptible to feeling the things we deem negative stronger and are prone to more anxiety and depression than others. But if we've had an easier life, we are more susceptible to feeling the things we've labeled as positive like joy and happiness more strongly.” (7:43-8:00 | Sarah)

· “When you step back and look at your life, has the course of it had an overall ongoing positive trend or continuously negative one? Since we're all here and fried, perhaps the latter resonates most which would qualify us as an example of differential susceptibility.” (8:28-8:44 | Sarah)

· “There's a part of our brain that determines whether our nervous system responds sympathetically or parasympathetically due to our present circumstances. It's called the reticular activating system and it's a part of the brainstem.” (9:48-10:00 | Sarah)

· “When we're chronically stressed, this part of our brainstem gets stuck firing the sympathetic pathways, keeping us in the stress loop, which fries our nervous system and leads to the burnout we have all experienced. In order to stop this cycle, we need to give our brain location info about our body and space.” (10:15-10:31 | Sarah)

· “In my recovery process, it's now easier to discern what I can control and what I am responsible for taking care of. I still can't witness a struggling human or plant right in front of me and not want to help. The difference is that I have awareness of my savior tendencies and I know how to ask people if they want my help instead of offering unsolicited advice.” (13:07-13:29 | Sarah)

· “I've realized that as much as I used to feel validated by the idea that my high sensitivity was just how I was wired and wasn't something that I needed to fix, I am currently pleasantly surprised and quite relieved that the hardest parts of being highly sensitive have minimized.” (18:36-18:51 | Sarah)

Links 

Holistic Biomechanics classes: https://transformationspdx.com

Highly sensitive person website: https://hsperson.com

Sarah's contact: [email protected]

Book a call with Sarah: https://caitdonovan.as.me/sarah

XOXO,

C

If you know that it’s time to actually DO something about the burnout cycle you’ve been in for too long - book your free consult today: bit.ly/callcait

https://friedtheburnoutpodcast.com/quiz

Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Crystal Frazee is a burnout recovery and stress resilience coach with 16 years of experience. She grew up in the South raised by strong, independent women with the ingrained mindset that women were supposed to take on everything themselves and be able to have it all. She spent many years working as a yoga teacher and yoga therapist and had a keen sense of bodily awareness. When she started to notice a disconnect between being able to feel and notice her own bodily sensations and emotions, Dr. Frazee knew something was wrong. She was suddenly unable to even feel her young children against her on the couch and that being a big wake up call. She was working in healthcare on the frontlines at the height of the pandemic while also running her coaching business, raising two kids, being the breadwinner, and managing chronic illness. Trying to take on everything by herself, as she was raised to think she had to do, was causing Dr. Frazee to mentally disconnect from her body. 

“The more we stand up for ourselves, and understand our own limits, and why this is so important, and why we don't need somebody else from outside to give us permission for this, we claim it and that's how the change happens,” explains Dr. Crystal Frazee. Burnout recovery truly takes place within the body and in order to heal, you must get out of your head and reconnect with your bodily sensations. Women in particular have grown up attuned to the needs of others and told to be quiet and not get in the way, so there is relearning required to begin allowing yourself to have boundaries and standing up for your own needs. 

Tune into today’s episode of FRIED. The Burnout Podcast for a conversation with Dr. Crystal Frazee about body literacy, combating internalized scripts, and learning to actually fulfill your own needs. 

Quotes

· “When I was laying with my small children, which at the time were like one and almost four. I couldn't feel them. Like I couldn't feel the connectedness with their body from my body, which I had always previously been able to feel and that was kind of a real big like, wow, what is going on here?” (4:35-4:58 | Dr. Frazee)

· “You could do a body scan, you could list off lots of physical sensations and people are usually really good at pointing out pain. But also, there's an emotional layer to your being. So what emotions are you feeling? Which can be conflicting, you can be grieving and you can have gratitude at the same time.” (11:33-11:51 | Dr. Frazee)

· “We're not intended to live in crisis management as a lifestyle. It’s a short term response. I think it was just really like, I've got to do this by myself and it's all on me. That was just kind of what I kept coming back to.” (23:19-23:35 | Dr. Frazee)

· “That work of getting support with your burnout means that you're not just living in your head, that you can be in your body, and that you can learn what those signs are that you really do need to pay attention to.” (29:11-29:21 | Dr. Frazee) 

· “The more we stand up for ourselves, and understand our own limits, and why this is so important, and why we don't need somebody else from outside to give us permission for this, we claim it and that's how the change happens.” (37:47-38:01 | Dr. Frazee)

Links

Connect with Dr. Crystal Frazee:

Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/drcrystalfrazee/

LinkedIn | https://www.linkedin.com/in/drcrystalfrazee/

Website | https://crystalfrazee.ck.page/

XOXO,

C

If you know that it’s time to actually DO something about the burnout cycle you’ve been in for too long - book your free consult today: bit.ly/callcait

https://friedtheburnoutpodcast.com/quiz

Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

During the process of burnout recovery, you are likely to overdo it and cause yourself to feel fatigued. This is perfectly natural as you are re-learning how to interact with your environment, relationships, and your body in a healthier way. As you explore these boundaries to your own energy, you will slowly start to recognize them more and more and be able to better understand your body’s signals. In today’s #straightfromcait episode, Cait explains how to handle the frustration that comes with feeling fatigued and how to test the limits of your energy. 

Recovery is not only about resting, but also about re-learning how to interact with the world around you in a way that does not leave you totally drained. It is inevitable that you will end up bumping into these boundaries many times along your recovery journey and this can cause problems if you allow frustration to be your main take away. Instead, look at these instances as learning opportunities for you to collect data on how your body works. The more times you bump into those boundaries, the more you will start to recognize them and understand the messages your body is trying to send you. 

Being in burnout recovery does not mean that you will never experience fatigue or overwhelm again. It is completely normal to find yourself hitting the limits of your energy at times. Tune into this week’s #straightfromcait episode for a conversation about learning how to be more in tune with the energy within your body. Learn how to turn frustration into curiosity, so that you can ultimately benefit from feeling those invisible boundaries. 

Quotes

· “In the beginning of recovery, you will need to try to find your boundaries when it comes to energy. This means that sometimes you're going to overdo it and that will help you learn what overdoing it feels like in this recovery state. You'll have to bump up against boundaries to know where they are.” (2:10-2:28 | Cait) 

· “Part of burnout recovery is resting and understanding that your body actually needs that rest. But part of burnout recovery is relearning how to interact with the world in a way that will not drain you so much.” (3:43-3:56 | Cait)

· “You might not be able to feel anything or describe anything right away, but with practice, you'll start noticing some clues that were previously hidden that you can now use to help yourself.” (5:42-5:55 | Cait)

· “The more time you spend bumping up against these invisible boundaries to your energy, the more fluent you will become in the language of energy in your own body.” (6:18-6:31 | Cait)

· “Recovery is not just about rest. It's about relearning how to interact with your environment, with your life, with yourself, with your friends, with your relationships. It requires upgrading and in order to upgrade, we need to know where our baseline is. And in order to know where the baseline is, we need to be paying attention to it. So bump up against those boundaries. You aren't really starting over, you're just learning.” (7:48-8:20 | Cait)

XOXO,

C

If you know that it’s time to actually DO something about the burnout cycle you’ve been in for too long - book your free consult today: bit.ly/callcait

https://facebook.com/groups/friedtheburnoutpodcas,

https://caitdonovan.com/speaking

https://friedtheburnoutpodcast.com/quiz

Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Martha Bodyfelt is a divorce recovery coach with an extensive military background. She spent decades suffering from burnout after enlisting in the military at 23, dealing with immigration difficulties for her Iranian now-ex husband, and experiencing secondary PTSD from handling the internal allegations of sexual harassment and assault made by fellow female military personnel. After a terrible training accident where she injured her spine so badly that it was a miracle she was not paralyzed, Martha was medically discharged from the army and moved to DC where she took on a job as a defense contractor. Her own burnout combined with that of her then-husband resulted in divorce, because they both knew they would be unable to heal if they stayed together. After the divorce, she took time away from work to travel around Asia and try to reset herself. However, when she returned she found herself back in the same stressful work environment in DC and realized something drastic had to change. She quit her job and spent time working on herself in therapy and ultimately decided to lean into her side hustle, divorce coaching. Now she has helped thousands of women empower themselves and prides herself in giving a voice back to the women that are often ignored or silenced by society.

“You always have options. Your career will sometimes gaslight you into thinking that you don’t, but you do,” shares Martha Bodyfelt. In order to embrace burnout recovery, it is important to put yourself in an abundance mindset; because if you remain in a scarcity mindset, you will be resistant to change. Working a job that treats you poorly and causes both your relationships and health to suffer is just going to do more damage the longer you stay. You have permission to create an exit strategy and to get out of that toxic situation, whether it is a job or a relationship, and to start living for yourself. 

Women are often disempowered in the workplace and in their relationships, because of societal pressures to always behave a certain way. In order to heal from burnout, you must put yourself first and reclaim your voice. Tune into today’s episode of FRIED. The Burnout Podcast for a conversation with Martha Bodyfelt about life after divorce, toxic workplaces, and saying goodbye to the “good girl” mentality. 

Quotes

· “The divorce coaching and the dating coaching was calling to me, but there's that ego because I want to make that money and it might be a while before I recoup that. And so working with energy work and with human design folks, and things like that, and even my therapist saying, your body's gonna let you know when the time is ready. And I was like, Well, I don't know what that means, though. But in one fucking weekend, I started having that PTSD and anxiety attack. And I'm like, well, it's ready.” (17:40-18:11 | Martha)

· “I think the best advice I can give is, no job is going to love you back.” (23:16-23:23 | Martha)

· “Think about putting yourself in abundance and not scarcity and understanding that you always have options. Your career will sometimes gaslight you into thinking that you don’t, but you do. And that's the same with relationships, too.” (28:51-29:05 | Martha)

· “You have the right and, at this point, the responsibility to get to the fucking point and let people know what you want. Because nobody's here to save you. Nobody but you is going to advocate for you.” (41:32-41:50 | Martha)

Links

Connect with Martha Bodyfelt:

Website | https://marthabodyfelt.com/

Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/marthabodyfelt/

LinkedIn | https://www.linkedin.com/in/coach-martha-b-306516215/

Schedule time with Martha | https://marthabodyfelt.com/schedule

XOXO,

C

If you know that it’s time to actually DO something about the burnout cycle you’ve been in for too long - book your free consult today: bit.ly/callcait

https://friedtheburnoutpodcast.com/quiz

Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices