Kayla Tricaso (she/her) is the Office Manager and Intake Specialist at Modern Intimacy. Kayla earned a Bachelor's Degree in Marketing Communications with a concentration in Public Relations from Columbia College Chicago. Whether scheduling appointments, helping with billing questions, or through the consultation process, Kayla works diligently to ensure current, and prospective clients feel seen, safe, and supported throughout their journey with Modern Intimacy.

What is a "pick me" girl? It is a (shaming and misogynistic) term used to describe women who are entrenched in their own internalized misogyny, and aim to please men, at the expense of other women.

Dr. Kate and Kayla discuss women being conditioned to maintain gender roles and make choices to be more liked by men.  They want to be “picked” by men. Some of this is very subconscious behavior. This podcast sheds light on this and may have women see patterns they have had that they may be ready to leave behind.

Website: www.modernintimacy.com 

Dr. Kate Balestrieri 

Modern Intimacy

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Dr. Jamie Goldenberg works at the University of South Florida and has been involved in the study of Terror Management Theory and Objectification of oneself and others, the body and sex, objectification of women. Roxanne Felig has been a part of the same research study.

Dr. Goldenberg's research focuses on psychological experiences associated with being a woman. To this end, she has conducted extensive research examining the causes and consequences of objectification of women. One approach to these questions is to apply terror management theory, a theory that takes an existential perspective on human motivation. Her research suggests that people are motivated to deny mortality and any connection to animality (or creatureliness) – objectification of woman accomplishes this by turning women into literal (and immortal) objects. The focus on women’s appearance and consequent denial of personhood and internal attributes affects perceptions of women and can hinder their success, having implications for political progress for instance, and also affects women’s self-perceptions, undermining self-concept clarity and congruences between the self and bodily experiences (e.g., explaining why women sometimes dress as if they are imperious to the cold).

They have also applied the terror management perspective to health outcomes, developing the terror management health model; this line of research led to 10 years of continuous funding from the National Institutes of Health. Recently, she and her graduate students have been interested in the consequences of social media on women’s health and well-being.

Dr. Kate discusses with her guests  Objectification : the Disconnect from one’s body, the pyscho dynamic denial of the body’s natural abilities including feeling pain or pleasure. And so much more on the findings of this study and the phenomenon of Objectification, fear of death, and connection of it all.

Website: www.modernintimacy.com 

Dr. Kate Balestrieri 

Modern Intimacy

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Brooke Brownlee, APCC is an Associate Professional Clinical Counselor at Modern Intimacy under the supervision of Dr. Kate Balestrieri. Brooke is passionate about helping clients heal from trauma, feel more empowered sexually, and repair relationships. Brooke is continuing her education and working towards becoming a Certified Sex Therapist.

“Where such men love, they have no desire, and where they desire, they cannot love.” This quote directly from Sigmund Freud describes a phenomenon he called the Madonna Whore Complex. 

The Madonna Whore Complex is deeply rooted in misogynic beliefs and is damaging to women on both an individual and societal level.

The Madonna Whore Complex (MWC) is a psychological complex often perpetuated by heterosexual, cisgender males which places women into two categories the “Madonna, “ a woman who is pure, virtuous, and nurturing, or a “Whore,” a woman who is deemed as overly sexual, manipulating, and promiscuous. The dichotomy of MWC creates a rigidity that limits women’s sexual expression, agency, and freedom by defining their sexuality into one of two categories.

Dr. Kate and Brooke discuss the origin and effects of the Madonna Whore Complex in this podcast: the effects on women and men.

Brooke wrote a blog on the Madonna Whore Complex that can be found on the Modern Intimacy website.

https://www.modernintimacy.com/the-psychology-of-the-madonna-whore-complex/

Website: www.modernintimacy.com 

Dr. Kate Balestrieri 

Modern Intimacy

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Dr. Joe Kort is a psychotherapist, clinical director, and founder of The Center for Relationship Health in Royal Oak, Michigan, a board-certified sexologist, an author of 4 books, a lecturer and facilitator of therapeutic workshops. 

Dr. Kort specializes in marital problems and conflicts; mixed-orientation marriages; male sexuality and sexual health concerns; “compulsive sexual behavior,” out-of-control sexual behaviors; sexual identity issues; childhood sexual abuse; LGBTQIA Affirmative Therapy; Male Sexual Fluidity and Imago Relationship Therapy.

Dr. Kort can be found on Instagram, TIkTok, Twitter,  Facebook, and LinkedIn @drjoekort, and his website iswww.JoeKort.com

Dr. Kate and Dr. Kort discuss Straight Men having Sex with Men: About this choice, the reasons why, and effects of.

 They discuss:

1.  Talk about some of the reasons a straight man would engage in sex with another man?

2.  What would you tell a straight man who has had these thoughts or has had sex with another man?

3.  What would you tell people who say this action defines a person’s sexuality?

4.  How might this impact other people in his life? 

5.  If the man is in a relationship with a woman, what might the repair process look like?

And so much more on this topic.

Website: www.modernintimacy.com 

Dr. Kate Balestrieri 

Modern Intimacy

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Dr. Steven Kniffley jr. is a clinical psychologist, professor, author, speaker and advocate for marginalized populations.

His work empowers others through therapy, education, and advocacy with issues of Racial trauma and its negative effects, how to become aware of racial and intergenerational trauma and not compartmentalize it.

Dr. Kniffley is the Chief Diversity Officer for Spalding University and an Associate Professor at the Spalding University’s School of Professional Psychology. He is also the coordinator for the Collective Care Center which is one of the few racial trauma clinics in the country. 

He received his doctorate and master’s degree in clinical psychology from Spalding University where I specialized in child, adolescent, and family therapy.

He completed his post-doctoral training at Harvard Medical School. 

Dr. Kniffley’s area of expertise is research and clinical work with Black males. Specifically, his work focuses on understanding and developing culturally appropriate interventions for Black male psychopathology as well as barriers to academic success for this population.

Additionally, he conducts research and clinical work on the challenges related to the experience of racial trauma. 

Specifically, he has developed a treatment protocol for the experience of racial trauma and trains clinicians in the implementation of the protocol.

As an educational consultant, he has worked internationally with students and school administrators in South Africa and India. He also serves as an organizational diversity consultant and works with law enforcement departments on addressing conflicts between communities of color and police officers.

Some of his books and works in progress include: “Knowledge of Self: Understanding the Mind of the Black male,” “Out of KOS (Knowledge of Self): Black male psychopathology and its treatment, ” and “Black males and the Criminal Justice System.”

Website: www.modernintimacy.com 

Dr. Kate Balestrieri 

Modern Intimacy

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Our guest today is Keeley Rankin, featured in publications like Huffington Post and O Magazine. She calls herself a pleasure advocate and a sexy-preneur. Keeley is a sex and relationship coach based in San Francisco, California. She works with individuals and couples who want to embrace their innate desires, build sexual confidence, and fully realize their sexual potential.

Dr. Kate and Keeley define and discuss Sex Clubs, and answer multiple questions such as What are the different frameworks of consent practiced at sex clubs. Conversations that may behoove them to have beforehand. Are they for couples and singles? 

And of course, the pros and cons of embarking on this type of outing, along with the psychological and emotional states of each partner about this issue. 

You can find Keeley at: www.keeleyrankin.com and IG https://www.instagram.com/keeleyrankinsexcoach/

Website: www.modernintimacy.com 

Dr. Kate Balestrieri 

Modern Intimacy

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Raquel Savage is a Black, queer, therapist, educator, and sex worker. She facilitates trauma therapy through Zepp Wellness Center, a non-profit organization she founded in 2019 that centers on the mental health needs of Black queer folk and sex workers.

She does the majority of her education online via Savage University (where she has an archive of educational videos, #ThoughtProvokingThirstTraps, live streams, and more) and through Kink Media Group, a production company she started in 2020, where she posts her #SexxxEd series, a hands-on, informative and real-life version of sex ed that fills the gaps for adults who missed out on early, ethical and affirming examples of sex education.

Through Kink Media Group, Savage also executive produces different projects for QTPOC and sex workers, including CVNT Productions, a porn production company that shoots exclusively Black, queer & trans, fat, and disabled performers.

Savage is also building out the Equitable Care Certification, a certification for therapists around clinical competency for working with sex workers, and frequently leads workshops and lectures about mental health and sex work for undergrad, graduate, Ph.D. students, and organizations. Savage is also working on a workbook for Black women around healing trauma. She’s been a sex worker for a decade, including 6 years of full-service work, and, currently creates adult content online.

Dr. Kate and Raquel talk about the social implications of slut shaming and external and internal blaming. They talk about how to stop slut shaming yourself and the right to safety and well-being for every person.

Social Media:

IG: RaquelSavage

Twitter: Raquel_Savage

Website: raquelsavage.com


Website: www.modernintimacy.com 

Dr. Kate Balestrieri 

Modern Intimacy

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Janelle Marina Mendez (she/her) is a feminist human rights leader turned certified human rights consultant. She is the first and only person to author, lobby, and enact intersectional military and veterans’ legislation. Her first intersectional legislation was the Restoration of Honor Act of 2019 which was signed in to law in New York State. 

On the federal level the U.S. Navy and Marine Corps. enacted the Safe-to-Report Policy and the Department of Defense is in the process of enacting Mendez-Viera’s Military Industry Regulatory Authority legislation that was written in to law in Congress’s NDAA of this year. 

Janelle is the subject of an evidential biography titled Boricua Gringa by British author Eleanor Wait which details her experience being sex-trafficked as a teenager while enlisted in the U.S. Marine Corps in a time where there were no laws in the U.S. to protect against state-sponsored child sex trafficking. After years of injustice, Mendez launched the Military Sexual Trauma Movement, a feminist human rights organization to enact the United States' first intersectional military and veteran laws.

Janelle talks with Dr. Kate about the Radicalization Pipeline, how she developed it, and how it’s hindering egalitarian relationships built of mutual respect.

They also talk about her work as a human rights leader.

She is passionate about the state of the disaffected males and its effect on how women are treated.

Janelle’s Socials

Business Facebook: BoricuaGringa 

business IG: Boricua.Gringa 

Business tiktok: Boricua.Gringa 

Website:

BoricuaGringa.com

Website: www.modernintimacy.com 

Dr. Kate Balestrieri 

Modern Intimacy

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Yolanda is a Trauma Therapist and Licensed Professional Counselor in Private Practice at Latibule Counseling (latibulecounseling.com) in Arizona. She is trained in EMDR, Somatic Experiencing, Brainspotting, and DBT. She also owns Yolanda Renteria, PLLC (yolandarenteria.com), where she provides Somatic Processing Sessions, psychoeducational workshops, and speaking services. 

She is passionate about helping people break generational cycles and thrive in parenting and relationships. Aside from her work in mental health, she is an Adjunct Faculty Psychology Professor at Northern Arizona University and utilizes social media platforms to bring awareness of generational cycles that perpetuate trauma. 

In her free time, she enjoys reading, writing, and spending time with her family.

She and Dr. Kate talk about ways to repair relationships with parents and how parents bring their own emotional issues to parenting. They discuss the process of children seeing their parents as flawed humans, creating their own boundaries, and ultimately either repairing the relationship or sometimes having to let it go.

Socials:

IG: @thisisyolandarenteria 

Website: www.modernintimacy.com 

Dr. Kate Balestrieri 

Modern Intimacy

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Dr. Kate talks with Raquel VanLoon, LPC, CADC,

A Licensed Professional Counselor in IL, a Certified Alcohol Drug Counselor, and a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist - Candidate. She earned her Master's degree in counseling psychology from The Chicago School of Professional Psychology with a specialization in treating addiction. 

Raquel works with clients feeling overwhelmed with depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, stress management, life transitions, trauma, substance use/abuse, building coping skills, body image, and lifestyle balance, to name a few. Raquel meets clients where they are and supports them through getting where they want to be.

Socials:

@raquelleigh 

In society, we are taught and socialized for what traits, likes, and behaviors fit men (and women). Men like blue, and women like pink. Men are taught not to cry and to “man up” at a young age. Women are allowed to be vulnerable, and for men, that shows weakness. But really it’s all about being a human being. And Dr. Kate and Raquel talk about this inability for men to be vulnerable naturally and the destigmatizing of the shame of that vulnerability.

Website: www.modernintimacy.com

Social:

Dr. Kate Balestrieri 

Modern Intimacy

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