Having spent her professional life working within male-dominated industries, Randi Shover has a lot of experience with, and a whole lot of thoughts about, the inherent misogyny in our society. In particular, she has a lot of thoughts about how men can take active steps to identify their misogynistic behavior and how they can stop it.

As a single mom of two daughters with a deep passion for creating safe spaces for women everywhere, Randi focuses every day on dismantling the patriarchy in both her professional and personal life. You can find her on TikTok and Instagram at @feelingrandi78 as well as on her own podcast Feeling Randi. 

She is the host of Feeling Randi, a podcast that is “horny for female empowerment!” On her podcast, and here on the Modern Intimacy podcast today, Randi discusses sex, dating, relationships, dingdongs on TikTok, pop culture, and feminism all with a focus on uplifting women everywhere. Together, we can smash the patriarchy, one laugh at a time! 

Randi is here to remind you how powerful you are, that you need never take shit from anyone, and that loving yourself just as you are is a revolution!  

Join Dr. Kate and Randi talk all about how not to be a misogynist!

Website: www.modernintimacy.com

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Dr. Kate Balestrieri 

Modern Intimacy

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Kate Loree, LMFT, is a sex-positive licensed marriage and family therapist with a specialty in non-monogamous, kink, LGBTQ, and sex worker communities and the author of Open Deeply: A Guide to Building Conscious, Compassionate Open Relationships. 

In addition to her master’s in marriage and family therapy, she also has an MBA and is a registered art therapist (ATR). She is an EDSE-certified sex educator and an EMDR-certified therapist with additional training in the Trauma Resiliency Model (TRM) for the treatment of trauma. She has been practicing psychotherapy since 2003.

She cohosts her own sex-positive podcast, Open Deeply, with Sunny Megatron, has been featured in Buzzfeed videos, and has been a guest on Playboy Radio and many podcasts, including Sex with Dr. Jess, American Sex, Sluts and Scholars, and Multiamory. She has written for Authority Magazine and Good Vibrations, been featured in Vice and Ms. Magazine, and is a frequent public speaker.

Dr. Kate and Kate talk about how entering into the world of non-monogamy also brings you into contact with overtakers/narcissists. They often garner more joy from overtaking than sharing. Kate Loree has followed the path of consensual non-monogamy and talks about the positive side plus some things you may run into and want to avoid.

For more information, please visit her on the web at KateLoree.com.

Books:

Open Deeply: A Guide to Building Conscious, Compassionate Open Relationships

Website: www.modernintimacy.com

Socials:

Dr. Kate Balestrieri 

Modern Intimacy

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Joel is a grammy-nominated songwriter, certified meditation teacher, life coach, and creator of the R.I.S.E. Journal.  R.I.S.E. stands for Release, Inquire, Self-Awareness, Empower. This practice reconnects practitioners to their truth by infusing meditation, asking “heart questions,” and deep listening into a modality that Joel calls meditative journaling.

Joel has committed his life to be a conduit for grounding, healing, and transformation. He uses music, poetry, and meditation, to create a safe space to feel, heal, and grow in self-awareness. 

Joel Cross grew up in Cleburne, Texas singing gospel songs with his seven siblings. At the age of twelve, he fell in love with the guitar. He was self-taught, finding inspiration in gospel, soul, classical, and r&b.  In 2003, he began to study jazz at the University of Houston. There, he learned the traditions of improvisation and bebop. His influences were Grant Green, George Benson, Wes Montgomery, and Joe Pass. 

In 2006, he transferred to the University of North Texas in Denton where he finished his performance degree in Jazz Studies. Though his formal education was focused on guitar, Joel was always inspired by creating new music and telling stories that brought the listener in. His heartfelt approach showcased his ability to make each piece his own. 

One afternoon, while playing a show in Dallas, Joel decided to appease the crowd’s unconventional request for a song by Taylor Swift. A fan happened to catch his very soulful rendition of “Shake it Off” on video and uploaded it to YouTube. By the next morning, it had over half a million views and Joel’s face was on every major news source in Dallas. The viral video quickly catapulted his career as he captured the attention of fans across the globe, including Ellen DeGeneres, America’s Got Talent, Capitol Records, Time, and MTV. Four-time Grammy award-winning artist, India Arie, was also intrigued by Joel when she heard one of his original songs, “Candlelight,” and invited him to collaborate with her. In 2017 that album, Songversation: Medicine was nominated for a Grammy, Best New Age Album. Joel collaborated with India in 2019 for her album Worthy, co-writing and playing guitar on several songs. 

Website: www.modernintimacy.com

Dr. Kate Balestrieri 

Modern Intimacy

Joel Cross Socials:

Instagram

TikTok

YouTube 

Insight Timer 

Web: asoulcalledjoel.com

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Rachel Overvoll is a Somatic Sex and Intimacy Coach and published author of Finding Feminism. Using her credentials from the Somatica Institute and Kinsey Institute, she works through the mediums of embodiment and self-attunement to help clients step into the power of an authentic and pleasure-centered life.
 

The term “purity culture” is generally associated with the white, American, Evangelical Christian Purity Movement. However, evangelicals don’t have a monopoly on the ethics of purity culture. The specifics vary by religion and culture, but gender and sexual control upon which purity culture stands is global, cross-religious, and cross-cultural.
 
Rachel and Dr. Kate talk about the Purity Culture that conflates women’s worth with their virginity.
Couples don’t even hold hands til engaged. Any distractions to man’s path to God are a sin.
But actually, men keep control over women’s bodies in the form of sexual oppression.

Some see it as positive…but in the Purity Culture, it is embedded so deeply and really is oppression.
Rachel talks about how Purity culture instills in women a deep hatred of their bodies and mistrust of their bodies because they are taught it causes evil.

Women in this culture cannot enjoy their bodies as it causes themselves and men to sin.

The process of women trying to leave the Purity culture is also part of the conversation: Regaining love of your body, and knowing you deserve pleasure.

Dr. Kate and Rachel talk about:


1. what purity culture is and some of the lessons it teaches children growing up in it
 
2. How did Rachel begin to unpack purity culture messaging?
 
3.   How does purity culture impact how someone shows up for themselves? For a partner?
 
4.  How can someone recovering from purity culture begin to explore what is pleasurable for them?
 
5. How can someone deal with the shame that's rooted in purity culture as they begin their exploration of pleasure?
 
And so much more. Join us.

The Modern Intimacy Website

Social:

Dr. Kate

The Modern Intimacy 

Rachel Overvoll  @rachelovervoll 

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Grooming is the process during which a child sexual offender draws a child in by gaining his or her trust in order to sexually abuse the child and maintain secrecy. The offender may also groom the parents by persuading them of his or her trustworthiness with children.

In this episode, Dr. Kate talks with Barret Pall a former model, now a life coach, who has decided to talk about his experiences of being sexually abused, and show that this happens to people of all genders. 

Dr. Kate shines a light on the process of grooming so people can be aware of the steps predators take once designating a victim and the psychological make up of those predators, as well as the psychological effects on the victim, especially when this happens at a young age. 

Former model Barrett Pall began his fashion career while studying as an undergraduate at New York University.

Pall, now 33, is opening up about the alleged sexual abuse he received from photographers behind the scenes.

Pall, as many do, thought the fashion industry would be glamorous. But quickly found out that isn’t what it is. On his very first photo shoot, he was sexually assaulted by the photographer. And on a trip to Los Angeles, he was in an uncomfortable situation with his “agent.”

He says there is no one specific way that someone is sexually assaulted or abused,” “I personally was not penetrated in any way, but I was sexually abused, and I say that wholeheartedly, knowing full stop that is what happened to me. There was no consenting, there was no asking, there was no ‘Are you OK with this?’”

Men also suffer from unwanted sexual advances, with 1 in 6 males reporting to have been sexually abused or assaulted.

 “There is something that’s taken from you, and as more people share their stories that are similar to mine, you get to take back a part of your narrative, which is taking back some of your power,” he told Yahoo.

The message he wants to send out to other men, regardless of your sexuality, is that consent is something that we also get to have for us and our sex lives. It’s an enthusiastic ‘yes’ — or it’s not a ‘yes’ at all.”

Healing can take a lifetime, and for Pall, that journey includes helping others to heal. For the last eight years, he’s been working as a life coach focused on helping his clients unlock their potential.

Website:  www.modernintimacy.com

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Barret Pall IG  

Barret Pall Tik Tok

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Dr. Kate talks with Raquel VanLoon, LPC, CADC,  a Licensed Professional Counselor, Certified Alcohol and Drug Counselor, and a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist - Candidate. 

Raquel is a Clinical Associate at Modern Intimacy, and earned her Masters degree in counseling psychology from The Chicago School of Professional Psychology with a specialization in treating addiction. 

Raquel works with clients feeling overwhelmed with depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, stress management, life transitions, trauma, substance use/abuse, building coping skills, body image, and lifestyle balance, to name a few. Raquel meets clients where they are and supports them through getting where they want to be.

Foreplay is necessary for a good f*ck. So many of us know how important foreplay is but yet it doesn’t get a lot of attention.

Without adequate foreplay, partners can have feelings of disappointment, feel less than, confused, disconnected if sex did not live up to their expectations. Often, partners carry misinterpretations from porn that sex does not require foreplay, clitoral stimulation or consists of quick penetration, and still have the expectation for ecstatic orgasms. When this doesn’t happen in our reality, partners often feel deflated.

Foreplay is that important. Some therapists say just 15 minutes of foreplay can increase chances of orgasm.

Dr. Kate and Raquel talk about specifics to up the exploration of one another’s body parts and bring awareness of foreplay to both partners. Do you know that foreplay can occur in and out of the bedroom? It can start with a text, a hand on your back, helping with a chore, and then hopefully elongate the pleasure of foreplay.

Listen to this conversation and get excited about exploring the importance and fun of foreplay.

Website: www.modernintimacy.com

IG: @drkatebalestrieri and @themodernintimacy
TikTok: @drkatebalestrieri and @modernintimacy

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Dr. Theresa Gallagher, Psy.D is a Licensed Psychologist in NY. She earned her Psy.D at Midwestern University in Glendale, Arizona, and received training in trauma-informed therapeutic techniques, Forensic Psychology, and psychological assessment. She believes in empowering individuals to find strength within themselves. Dr. Gallagher helps clients break free from cycles of the past and move into the future with confidence and self-efficacy. Dr. Gallagher is a Clinical Associate on the Modern Intimacy team.

In this episode, Dr. Kate and Dr. Gallagher talk about Bodily Autonomy as it relates to sexuality and gender.  This subject matter is particularly relevant on the heels of Roe v. Wade being overturned and other misogynistic policies enacted globally that infringe on a uterus owners' right to their body.

Bodily autonomy means, "My body is for me; my body is my own." It’s about power, and it’s about agency. It’s about choice, and it’s about dignity.

This episode of Modern Intimacy talks about a shift in uterus owners knowing Roe v. Wade is overturned and options of putting into effect one's own choices are limited now. Women are feeling unheard, disconnected, anxious, and alone. There is also a question of if they feel supported by their partner.

As therapists, the Doctors have been hearing fallout from Roe v Wade, such as how the uterus owner’s partner may never understand how helpless they feel.  They may also be looking for empathy for the feeling of having sex being risky now. It has impacted and hindered feeling sexually curious, available and how their partner understands this downshift.

There are so many side effects of this decision on women and ultimately it affects their partners as well. We hope this shines a light on these new results from a “no choice” decision. And can help define what you may be experiencing but haven’t been able to define where it’s coming from.

All of this is discussed in this important episode of Modern Intimacy.

Website: www.ModernIntimacy.com

IG:  @themodernintimacy and @drkatebalestrieri      

TikTok: @modernintimacy and @drkatebalestrieri

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Artimus Wolz is a film school grad and Digital creator. He is an artist and a musician and created tik tok videos that have received wide spread attention. His Tik Tok followers are over 670,000 and his likes have reached 13 million. Artimus’ hit, Incompedance was his comedic but insightful video pointing out the male tendency of Incompetence in the avoidance and manipulation of feigned incompetence of daily chores and beyond.

This is the basis of the discussion between Artimus and Dr. Kate: The phenomenon of Weaponized Incompetence and how good men are at it. 

Wolz picks up on social ilks and is honest and vulnerable in his videos. In the podcast, he speaks of a tense relationship with his father and his video Eggshells talks about that and going home for the holidays. Raw but comedic, insightful and entertaining, his lyrics hit home on many subjects as does the conversation between Dr. Kate and Artimus.

In this podcast we learn more about who Artimus is, how he takes real vulnerabilities, anger and comedy and mix It up in a number of great videos. We also hear how psychologically,  Incompedance may have shone a light on weaponized incompetence and hopefully caused some changes.

Based on the high numbers of followers for his videos, Artimus had put them along with new ones together in an album called Chaos. This includes  Incompedance, Eggshells, Saddy Daddy-o, Leave her Alone and more.

Links for Artimus:

linktr.ee/artimuswolz

https://www.tiktok.com/@artimuswolz

Incompedance: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-JShZtBp1J4 

Eggshells:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3sYod64AzJM

Links for Modern Intimacy: 

Website: www.Modernintimacy.com

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In this episode, Dr. Kate Balestrieri speaks with Kaitlyn Connor, @revengeporngirl about her experience with image based sexual abuse (revenge porn), and how it affected her.

Kaitlyn Cannon (she/her) is currently a Masters of Social Work student at the University of North Carolina at Charlotte. She is the Vice President at March Against Revenge Porn, an organization dedicated to advocacy around image based sexual abuse. After being victimized by revenge porn on two separate occasions, she decided this trauma happened to her for a reason, and that reason was to fight back. She is a future therapist and current mental health advocate. She has always made volunteering a priority, and has volunteered with Crisis Text Line, where she served as a Crisis Counselor. In her advocacy to fight revenge porn, Kaitlyn was recently featured in The Washington Post. She hopes using her voice will let other victims know that they're not alone.

IG: @marchagainstrevengeprn @kaitybop_

TT: @marchagainstrevengeprn @revengeprngirl

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 In this episode, Dr. Kate and TikTok influencer, Dr. Kojo Sarfo, talk in depth about ADHD, and its impact on relationships and sexuality. 

Dr. Kojo Sarfo, DNP, PMHNP is a social media content creator, mental health practitioner, and psychotherapist with over 1 million+ followers on his social media channels (TikTok,Instagram, YouTube, Twitter, Twitch, Triller). He posts skits, songs, and videos in order to bring people together and to promote mental health awareness. On his TikTok channel, he uses relevant trends and popular music to educate individuals about mental health conditions and the importance of self-care. Dr. Sarfo is also the author of an Amazon best-selling book entitled “You Already Won."

Stay connected with Dr. Kojo here:

https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.kojosarfo

https://www.instagram.com/drkojosarfo/

https://www.facebook.com/drkojosarfo

https://www.youtube.com/c/kojosarfo

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