Going Terribly

The bidet hath arrived.

Other discussion topics may include:

- The superiority of airplane pretzels over regular, land-bound pretzels

- Did Phil Collins write a song about a suicide pact?

- Going nuts to butts to read mediocre student essays

- Was there a better Hollywood twosome than Burt Reynolds and Cooter Snatch?

- Spring breakers vs. the Mormon Church: A battle for the ages

Are you a fan of perfectly chilled salads and crisp, minimalist design? Well, then this show is for you! Recurring character, IKEA virgin, newly glutinous (and gluttonous), self-activating robot, Josh Weiland, comes back on the pod as we plan our trip to St. Louis for All Elite Wrestling’s Dynamite!

Yes, yes, we’re all thinking it. Wrestling is Life.

Other discussion topics may include:

- An official, irrefutable list of the worst news one can receive

- A PSA to everyone: If you go to medical school, at some point you're gonna see some poop

- More exquisite corpses than you've ever seen in one place at one time

- Belchers, Boogers, Maggots, Seepage...you know, all the hits

- Was Vince McMahon inspired by Barbie? Find out more with this obvious clickbait!

This is the episode of vendettas. We rail against juniors (namesakes...not secondary school teens), U2 (an unsolicited favor is no favor), and lionized canons. Or canonized lions. Dead white guys and their dumb sayings basically.

Other discussion topics may include:

- A ton of celebrity birthdays! And some of them are real!

- Why Danielle Steel is a better author than Ernest Hemingway

- Self flagellation vs. Self flatulation

- Bubbles, squeaks, and other sounds from an Irish kitchen

- Is it okay to call Emily Dickinson "The Dick?" It is, right?

Welcome to Hella Burgers! We are joined this week by DRK WTR keyboardist Alexander Hellenberg! AKA Ajax AKA The Myth AKA The Man Behind the Curtain. So brush up on your Florida Man news because we've got GAMES.

Other discussion topics may include:

- A preview of the hot new summer drama "Parkview Palace Place"

- The legalities of aerial moose poop

- Igneous Rock vs. Igneous Pop: A musical feud for the ages

- Could God convince you to become vegetarian? What about a plane crash? Or, like, some crazed geese?

- A proposed battle between all living Alexes, for there can be only one

Mr. and Ms. Lonely Hearts regale you with tales of solo dining – both embarrassing and triumphant. Alice gets kudos for being an excellent parallel parker, and Doug...ALSO gets kudos...for having a wang large enough to knock over a Great Dane.

Other discussion topics may include:

- Friends who don't like hot chocolate. Or love.

- The world is currently out of apples and we just now noticed.

- The deliciousness of a good old fashioned Irish potato mash fried

- Fitting in spots you shouldn't. (Heh)

- Hard brakers...sweepstakers...camp fakers talkin' Serendipity 

Would you lick a ranch-flavored diamond? Would you risk a concussion for some sweet, sweet frozen yogurt? Would you try that funny but ultimately debunked post-mortem meme prank of eating a bunch of unpopped popcorn kernels before you die so that when you go into the crematorium, your body will erupt in a mound of fluffy popcorn? 

If you would, then you're our people. Thanks for listening.

Other discussion topics may include:

- What if all the people who service you could hear all your grievances about them?

- Can you sit on a cloud in Heaven? Or will the afterlife unexpectedly suck?

- Uninterrupted eye contact: Reward, punishment, or art?

- If you pass away, which part of you will your cat consume first?

- Butt stuff on stage

Have we, as a collective nation, forgiven John Wilkes Booth for shooting Andrew Lincoln yet? Or U2 for forcibly stuffing our music libraries with Songs of Innocence? Or people in general for using the word acronym when they actually mean abbreviation? All this and more...

Other discussion topics may include:

- Baltimore Oreos vs. New York Twinkies: What's your favorite baseball dessert?

- Why older people are so much easier to handle when they're good and liquored up

- How soon is too soon to make jokes about angel food cake?

- Tragic films, infuriating commercials, and bloody Sundays

- How to show someone you love them by holding up poster boards, just like everyone else

Is there ever a good way to break up with your hair stylist? What exactly are microblading and microthreading all about? Is it possible to "lift" someone else's fingerprints with Scotch tape and plant them at a crime scene? Leave us a voice mail if you know the answers to any of these questions.

Other discussion topics may include:

- Human life before world-changing technologies like automobiles, television, and towel tablets

- One-sixteenth of a 14-ingredient Belgian waffle recipe

- Penises, and if you should slice them

- Old people names, like "Ann Marie," "Beatrice," and "Doug"

- How your young child could be framing Vanna White for murder

This week's episode is *suspenseful* y'all. What's in the tub? WHAT'S IN THE TUB?! Where's Alice's hair part going next?! And is Stonehenge a wheel? All this hot goss and more!!!

Other discussion topics may include:

- What is a "nutty" flavor? Is it, ya know...dirty?

- 16-wheeled 18-wheelers

- Full Moon Saloon: werewolf bar or gay bar?

- The best ways to make mutant babies

- Seriously, though, what DOES the fox say? Is it "Woot?"

There are so many random, niche holidays today. You're gonna wanna celebrate lima beans, mom's spaghetti, and foreskin. Just let it all hang out.

Other discussion topics may include: 

- The deep conspiracy involving microphone bias

- A grassroots campaign to adorn old statues with jean shorts

- Podcast popularity within the dairy free community

- Age appropriate mooning

- What's your favorite kind of nut punch?