Going Terribly

It's not April, everyone. Someone broke into your house and hacked into your Cloud and set all your clocks and digital devices back one month. Now you have all this extra time to accomplish what you've really needed to...

Listen to our all singin', all dancin', April Fool's guest takeover on The Center Cut podcast where Michael and Dave watched a 30-minute, context-free chunk of classic musical "Singin' in the Rain" WITHOUT SOUND and had us quiz them on ladies' fashions, ladder seduction 101, and adult dioramas.

Full episode came out last Wednesday, and new minisode is out this Wednesday! Crap of the world indeed... https://open.spotify.com/show/6MKhagaIgXF6gHVhcoI0Vh

Oh, and here's our regular episode too. Yeah, give that a listen too. 

Other discussion topics may include:

- How hiccups can be a gateway contraction to murder

- The difference between a sweet orange and a Jewish one

- Life changing revelations about M&Ms

- How Marvel stole their ideas of an all-inclusive universe from Wacky Races

- Tyrannical geniuses like Gene Kelly, Pauly Shore, and Bugs Bunny

Alice gets her chompers polished, and Doug relives the trauma that is Homecoming Spirit Week. Semi-Recent Semi-Decent News makes an entrepreneurial return, and SOMEBODY DIES.

Other discussion topics may include:

- What does space cola taste like? Cookies and cream? Cough syrup? Bunny rabbits?

- A tribute to those killed in the 1970s, such as President "Honest" Andrew Lincoln

- What is your favorite flavor of shoe polish?

- How to tell if your dentist knows too much about you

- Guess how many beans are in this episode for your chance to win!

GFDF*† Josh Weiland comes on the pod and cheats at all the games. 

Other discussion topics may include:

- The unexpected pride of being a nimrod

- A glimpse into Hitler's eighth birthday

- Words people don't like, such as "moist," "panties," and "Hoobastank"

- How to go down with integrity. So to speak.

- Comparing alcohol to slurpees so a 5-year old can understand its deliciousness

*Gluten Free Dairy Free

†God F***ing Damn F***ing

Get ready for the hottest of takes in this episode. Should cursive still be taught in schools? Is tofu actually flavorless? Has there ever been a less appropriately named food than "Fun Size" candy bars?

Other discussion topics may include:

- Why encyclopedias from the 1950s will teach us everything we'll ever need to know

- The Adventures of Brock Johnson and Cooter Wang

- Why air fryers are better than your favorite appliance or child

- The importance and impossibility of prescience

- Endorsing some up and coming products, such as Snickers, Lay's Potato Chips, and the internet

Podcasters, filmmakers, and w'hores for s'mores, Emily Durchholz and Jake Bilinski, join us for our big, fat 75th episode in celebration of Valentine's Day (belated), International Women's Day, and most importantly, James Van Der Beek's 45th birthday! Here are some highlights:

09:07 Shattering the Glass Ceiling!

So many exclamation points! Women be excited! Get into it. 

Other discussion topics may include:

- Differing opinions on what "The Menstrual Show" would entail

- Why adults simply date better

- Does your pee sound like bacon sizzling? Or other?

- So many words rhyme with "cooter"

- A forgotten orgy...?

Is your blood haunted? Do you need to exorcise some of that pesky, intransigent blood? Try bloodletting! It's the newest scientific craze!

Lots of It Went Terriblys to unpack here at the beginning of March. We learn about leeches, barbers, leeching barbers, and Pat Sajak's intolerably difficult day-job. And we make at least three really great food puns. You'll wanna stick around for those.

Other discussion topics may include:

- Fruit cutting-related childhood trauma

- Would you like to be a mammal that lays eggs?

- The amazing abilities of contortionists...such as licking their own butts

- When was mental health invented?

- An inclusive history lesson, featuring Jesus, World War II, bidets, and Bill Cosby as a British woman

Apparently, lots of internet people are up in arms about not using toilet paper anymore. Bidets are the big hygienic thing. But wouldn't that change everything about you as a human being? Are you ready to take such a step?

Other discussion topics may include:

- How far inside the hole do you clean?

- The most spot-on Ray Romano impression you will ever hear in your life

- How to tell if you're a real man. Or a serial killer.

- Shower wine and other classy, sophisticated things

- Pooping in strangers' houses

Have we told you philately that we love you? 

See, philately means stamp collecting, so it's like we're sending you old-fashioned correspondence. Through your ear holes. That's like, aurilexisynchronicity, maaaan.

Other discussion topics may include:

- The best and worst ways to ingest summer sausage

- Fantasy sports, or grown men pretending they own other grown men

- Which side of your genitals do you part your hair on?

- The unreasonably high price of prescription medication. And stamps.

- A really huge Men in Black spoiler, so if you're still waiting to watch that, there's your warning.

It's a short but hella satisfying episode this week cuz all of winter came crashing down on us last week. This past week. Whatever. You know what we mean.

And if you want to listen to Alice talk in a high, childlike voice for four hours, order her first Big 5 Publisher audiobook here! https://www.audible.com/pd/Maizy-Chens-Last-Chance-Audiobook/0593505743?ref=a_typ_c1_lProduct_0_1&pf_rd_p=9161e73b-1da4-4835-9d0a-6e130501757a&pf_rd_r=J4SDC55RDHRD1N1C43YM

Other discussion topics may include:

- Lions with incredible self restraint

- The discovery of a utopian community, which totally wasn't a cult. For real.

- Parents who bang too close together

- Utah Jazz vs. Memphis Grizzlies in a battle of the least rational team names

- This was originally to be an episode filled with romance. Naturally, it was replaced with burps and farts.

This week's episode boasts a JUMBO-SIZED It Went Terribly, so let's share some alternative episode titles: 

Two Dutch Rudders in a Media Frenzy

Other discussion topics may include:

- Putting the "best" in "bestiality"

- A pitch for a reality show that people are dying to make

- More on the almost definite* affair between Yao Ming and Kristin Chenoweth

- Barenaked Ladies vs. Bear! Naked Ladies!

- The Bible: "We all came from the rib of dude created from dirt and clay from thin air"

*or entirely fictional, whatever