This is StRest! In this conversation, Kerstin sits down with spiritual director and author J.R. Man to talk about the season when life feels fullest—and faith can feel farthest. Together they explore why so many women (and men) in midlife feel guilt and shame about “not doing enough” spiritually, how performative faith crowds out intimacy with God, and why stillness and silence are the gateway back.

J.R. reframes codependency as “people addiction,” shows how healthy boundaries protect love, and unpacks Galatians 6 as a blueprint for real community—bearing one another’s burdens while learning to carry your own. You’ll hear practical ways to start a simple silence practice, how to find (or become) a discerning listener, and why grace—not grind—is the center of the Christian life.

You’ll leave with: language for naming codependency, a starter plan for silence and retreat, boundary scripts you can use this week, and a calmer, truer picture of God’s heart toward you.

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CHAPTERS

(00:00) Cold open: tea and 'rock tumbler'

(01:18) Why J.R.? 20 years of guidance

(04:39) Tea, health shifts, small comforts

(06:00) Verizon-store tears and overwhelm

(09:05) Who J.R. serves: women 35–65

(09:53) Grace vs grind: busyness vs intimacy

(12:02) Shame and guilt about 'not enough'

(16:49) Faith and works—what James means

(19:47) The wideness of grace and mercy

(21:41) Praying through breakdowns

(23:21) Feeling God: awe and creation

(27:38) Stillness and silence: starting retreat

(31:31) What to do in silence

(33:47) From quiet chair to multi-day retreats

(40:07) Codependency as people addiction

(44:17) Re-centering worth in God

(45:13) Boundaries that stick

(46:20) Caregiver boundaries with parents

(48:16) Growing up amid addiction

(50:09) Post-COVID community rebuild

(51:52) Galatians 6: community template

(55:58) Finding discerning listeners

(59:48) Closing prayer for peace and belonging

(1:03:10) Tabletop Ministries: spiritual direction

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